The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

Short review—a great primer for any man looking to change. Just a touch of back story. As a kid I saw the Old Boys Club antagonize my mom in all kinds of nasty ways, so I decided my way of being a man would be to “do no harm” essentially embrace a sort of neutral passivity… which kinda worked, but I’ve found passivity allows the patriarchy to still hold sway, and I am often still complicit. So, I’ve been exploring what a healthy assertive masculinity would look like. A friend of mine recommended bell hook’s book “The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” saying it is the only book out there addressing Alternative Masculinity. “The Will To Change” is a broad description of what the Patriarchy does to men—Dr. hooks describes a totalized system, I have to admit I’ve not experienced all the manifestations of patriarchy described, but I’d imagine that just means I’m either lucky or have some blinders. What follows are a few points made throughout the book: -Patriarchy does not allow for relationship Dr. hooks begins with the statement that women fear men, for we are a constant threat of violence to them. She uses an intense example by Barbara Deming, who describes the first time she felt true intimacy with her father, which was when she held his corpse. It was the first time there was no threat of violence in him. Put simply, Patriarchy involves domination, and love and domination can’t coexist. So, all intimacy within patriarchal culture is pretend intimacy. -The Patriarchy involves Domination Men living under the Patriarchy are constantly asking where they are on the social pecking order. There can be no sign of weakness. Instead of finding self-esteem in a man’s individual identity it is always found in relation to other men. Any sign of weakness is shamed. The question is always “who is on top?” “who is dominating who?”. One of the silly thing men often do is answer questions even if they don’t know the right answer, or were not asked the question—this is because not having the answer causes shame and shows weakness. So, mansplaining, for example, is an attempt to not be shamed. -“Psychic self-mutilation” Boys become men when they learn to stop expressing their emotions. This is a horrendous loss, and within the Patriarchy manhood is reaffirmed by learning to only grieve this loss in private. Dr. hooks suggests the anti-social stage of development in boys may in fact be the point at which they learn to stop expressing their emotions. There are multiple masks men learn to use to hide this grief and other emotions. In general the mask is compartmentalization. This causes men to distrust everyone, after all if they are masking their pain, everyone is lying. Often times boys living in anti-patriachal homes lead a double life at home and at school. Additionally, Workaholism is a mask that is rewarded and encouraged by pretty much everyone. Work is a place to escape the self. It encourages a sense of separate spheres, men work and make money, women work at home and do the emotional work for men. Another major mask is sex. The Patriarchy has told men that sex is the only space for intimacy and release of emotions. This causes men to have a constant sense of sexual scarcity, after all they are told sex does the work of all passions, sensualities, and relationships. “All human needs are promised to us by way of sex and sexuality.” It isn’t put in its proper place as “one pleasure among many pleasures.” Dr. hooks warns women ought not ignore the pain the Patriarchy inflicts upon men, as they too can be socialized into psychic self-mutilation. -Change is hard Popular culture props up the Patriarchy, even when it tries to be thoughtful about masculinity. For example, American Beauty, Life as a House, and Monsters Ball all depict men critically reflecting upon their emotional life, and they all end up dead. Who would choose to embrace a practice that he is told will lead to his destruction? Men are often bought off by the Patriarchy. Dr. hooks describes a gentle quiet feminist man who assumed a macho persona and was rewarded for it. Women were drawn to him, he was noticed publically and professionally, and “his feminism ceased.” At times mainstream feminism gives men who want to change mixed messages, “Hold onto ideas about strength and providing for others… while dropping your investment in domination and add an investment in emotional growth.” It’s important to remember that women also enforce patriarchal norms. The following conversation is a norm: “How do you feel?” “Like there is something missing, I’m in pain and I think society hates me.” “Shut-up.” Similarly, men recovering from substance abuse often have the experience of being told by their partner, “Now that you are sober you no longer need to express your feelings.” Finally, as long as the Patriarchy is the water in which we swim, men who want to change will be left resource-less. “Men will never receive support from patriarchal culture for their emotional development.” -But it is worth it “Anytime a single male dares to transgress patriarchal boundaries in order to love, the lives of women, men, and children are fundamentally changed for the better.”

Growing up in a conservative, religious environment, I was often taught to stay away from feminist books, with the caution that they would poison my mind. Contrary to that advice, I have found nothing more liberating than to read books that validate my experience, and interrupt the silent hatred that has bubbled in my being as a result of witnessing the patriarchy at play. In The Will to Change, bell hooks isn't spreading concepts of feminism through a binary lens of men vs. women. She claims that believing in a concept of male supremacy is as erroneous as spreading ideas of female supremacy. In order for the feminist movement to progress, we need men. Period. She posits that women need a space to process the experiences of living in a patriarchal society, and that we need a space to acknowledge and expose the feelings that arose and still linger as a result of said experiences. We need to engage in our own healing so we can form alliances with men. Patriarchy has no gender, y'all. We are all victims, and must work together to dismantle it.

This is one of the most important books I've read, and I've read a lot. bell is so right that patriarchy has no gender, and I don't see how we fix things until we get this concept in it's full depth and with all it's implications. What astounds me is the extraordinary generosity of this book: as a white man from New England, this black woman from Kentucky, who's background could not be more different from my own, she has taught me a very great deal about the core issues in my life, family, and culture. I would also suggest reading Carol Gilligan's "The Birth of Pleasure," which covers similar ground from a different angle and is just as good.

As a 36 year old straight cis white guy raised by right leaning parents in rural Virginia, I thought this book was fantastic. Hook did a great job illustrating how the concept of masculinity has really hindered my growth and attempted to destroy my personal identity. I was really happy to see that she also correctly pointed at the women who work (specifically or through conditioning) to prop up the patriarchy. Fantastic book for anyone who wants to see that men also need compassion and love. And men, it shows us the shackles binding us so that we can work to set ourselves free. You deserve to be whoever you were going to be before our innocence was crushed in childhood.

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks challenged me time and again. Hooks writing is always engaging and The Will to Change is no exception. The Will to Change looks at the way society molds the ideas of masculinity in connection with femininity. Hooks focuses on the influence of patriarchy on the roles men and women play in society starting with childhood. As I read, I struggled at times to let go of preconceptions I didn't even know I held. The Will to Change explores how men can live more whole lives and how that will benefit both men and women as well as society.

This is the most healing book that I have ever read! As someone who has struggled my entire life to understand my disconnect with men, this book has offered me a perspective that has facilitated a deeper connection to myself as well as a deeper connection to men. I feel healing taking place in areas I had previously lost hope. Words cannot express how profoundly appreciative I am that Bell Hooks wrote this book.

This was my first introduction to Bell Hooks (I can't recall what other book i was reading that referenced it and I thought I should check it out). Well, a very important read I believe as it addresses some foundational issues that AREN'T being addressed with men. Patriarchy and its impact, both robbing women as well as men and its consequential misogyny. So deeply entwined within our upbringing and culture. Bell masterfully and tenderly pulls it apart - and why this is so important is it exposes that 'men will be men' is a LIE and that we are much more multifaceted and CAPABLE of change and BEING whole, loving and MORE than what our culture would want to straighjacket us into. - I since have started to read her book on LOVE and it is profound and awesome and truly is providing language and an outlook that is life changing. I highly recommend. (And I wish I could have met her. Sadly I just read in the news of her passing right as I was getting to know her work. quite a remarkable woman and gift to this world.) - BTW - I'm a man writing this and its just my perspective.

Great book. bell hooks is one of our most prominent scholars who makes feminism accessible to everyone, and also demonstrates the benefits of a feminist perspective for everyone, not just women. This is appropriate for both genders, especially men. Her perspective on patriarchy outlines how its continued social organization is detrimental to all of us equally. I found her work revealed pain I couldn't previously have recognized or uncovered.

bell hooks does an amazing job analyzing both the depth and breadth in which our society's veneration of toxic masculinity harms everyone, focusing on the men that the Patriarchy purports to benefit. I was recommended this book by a formerly incarcerated man who used bell hooks and her analysis to design an anti-Patriarchy class while in prison. I recommend this book to anyone but especially to men who identify with feminist ideals but have difficulty on how to express them in a healthy and constructive way.

Wow. What an amazing book. After nearly a decade of focused exploration into growth, healing, and how to reclaim all aspects of our humanity, I stand in awe at the depth and breadth of important aspects bell hooks was able to gather in this concise, powerful book. She clearly has an agenda and references patriarchy constantly, which might turn some people off, but the deeper truths behind the specific language she uses is undeniable. If you seek wholeness and meaning and love, this book is an invaluable companion on your journey.

Short review—a great primer for any man looking to change. Just a touch of back story. As a kid I saw the Old Boys Club antagonize my mom in all kinds of nasty ways, so I decided my way of being a man would be to “do no harm” essentially embrace a sort of neutral passivity… which kinda worked, but I’ve found passivity allows the patriarchy to still hold sway, and I am often still complicit. So, I’ve been exploring what a healthy assertive masculinity would look like. A friend of mine recommended bell hook’s book “The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” saying it is the only book out there addressing Alternative Masculinity. “The Will To Change” is a broad description of what the Patriarchy does to men—Dr. hooks describes a totalized system, I have to admit I’ve not experienced all the manifestations of patriarchy described, but I’d imagine that just means I’m either lucky or have some blinders. What follows are a few points made throughout the book: -Patriarchy does not allow for relationship Dr. hooks begins with the statement that women fear men, for we are a constant threat of violence to them. She uses an intense example by Barbara Deming, who describes the first time she felt true intimacy with her father, which was when she held his corpse. It was the first time there was no threat of violence in him. Put simply, Patriarchy involves domination, and love and domination can’t coexist. So, all intimacy within patriarchal culture is pretend intimacy. -The Patriarchy involves Domination Men living under the Patriarchy are constantly asking where they are on the social pecking order. There can be no sign of weakness. Instead of finding self-esteem in a man’s individual identity it is always found in relation to other men. Any sign of weakness is shamed. The question is always “who is on top?” “who is dominating who?”. One of the silly thing men often do is answer questions even if they don’t know the right answer, or were not asked the question—this is because not having the answer causes shame and shows weakness. So, mansplaining, for example, is an attempt to not be shamed. -“Psychic self-mutilation” Boys become men when they learn to stop expressing their emotions. This is a horrendous loss, and within the Patriarchy manhood is reaffirmed by learning to only grieve this loss in private. Dr. hooks suggests the anti-social stage of development in boys may in fact be the point at which they learn to stop expressing their emotions. There are multiple masks men learn to use to hide this grief and other emotions. In general the mask is compartmentalization. This causes men to distrust everyone, after all if they are masking their pain, everyone is lying. Often times boys living in anti-patriachal homes lead a double life at home and at school. Additionally, Workaholism is a mask that is rewarded and encouraged by pretty much everyone. Work is a place to escape the self. It encourages a sense of separate spheres, men work and make money, women work at home and do the emotional work for men. Another major mask is sex. The Patriarchy has told men that sex is the only space for intimacy and release of emotions. This causes men to have a constant sense of sexual scarcity, after all they are told sex does the work of all passions, sensualities, and relationships. “All human needs are promised to us by way of sex and sexuality.” It isn’t put in its proper place as “one pleasure among many pleasures.” Dr. hooks warns women ought not ignore the pain the Patriarchy inflicts upon men, as they too can be socialized into psychic self-mutilation. -Change is hard Popular culture props up the Patriarchy, even when it tries to be thoughtful about masculinity. For example, American Beauty, Life as a House, and Monsters Ball all depict men critically reflecting upon their emotional life, and they all end up dead. Who would choose to embrace a practice that he is told will lead to his destruction? Men are often bought off by the Patriarchy. Dr. hooks describes a gentle quiet feminist man who assumed a macho persona and was rewarded for it. Women were drawn to him, he was noticed publically and professionally, and “his feminism ceased.” At times mainstream feminism gives men who want to change mixed messages, “Hold onto ideas about strength and providing for others… while dropping your investment in domination and add an investment in emotional growth.” It’s important to remember that women also enforce patriarchal norms. The following conversation is a norm: “How do you feel?” “Like there is something missing, I’m in pain and I think society hates me.” “Shut-up.” Similarly, men recovering from substance abuse often have the experience of being told by their partner, “Now that you are sober you no longer need to express your feelings.” Finally, as long as the Patriarchy is the water in which we swim, men who want to change will be left resource-less. “Men will never receive support from patriarchal culture for their emotional development.” -But it is worth it “Anytime a single male dares to transgress patriarchal boundaries in order to love, the lives of women, men, and children are fundamentally changed for the better.”

Growing up in a conservative, religious environment, I was often taught to stay away from feminist books, with the caution that they would poison my mind. Contrary to that advice, I have found nothing more liberating than to read books that validate my experience, and interrupt the silent hatred that has bubbled in my being as a result of witnessing the patriarchy at play. In The Will to Change, bell hooks isn't spreading concepts of feminism through a binary lens of men vs. women. She claims that believing in a concept of male supremacy is as erroneous as spreading ideas of female supremacy. In order for the feminist movement to progress, we need men. Period. She posits that women need a space to process the experiences of living in a patriarchal society, and that we need a space to acknowledge and expose the feelings that arose and still linger as a result of said experiences. We need to engage in our own healing so we can form alliances with men. Patriarchy has no gender, y'all. We are all victims, and must work together to dismantle it.

This is one of the most important books I've read, and I've read a lot. bell is so right that patriarchy has no gender, and I don't see how we fix things until we get this concept in it's full depth and with all it's implications. What astounds me is the extraordinary generosity of this book: as a white man from New England, this black woman from Kentucky, who's background could not be more different from my own, she has taught me a very great deal about the core issues in my life, family, and culture. I would also suggest reading Carol Gilligan's "The Birth of Pleasure," which covers similar ground from a different angle and is just as good.

As a 36 year old straight cis white guy raised by right leaning parents in rural Virginia, I thought this book was fantastic. Hook did a great job illustrating how the concept of masculinity has really hindered my growth and attempted to destroy my personal identity. I was really happy to see that she also correctly pointed at the women who work (specifically or through conditioning) to prop up the patriarchy. Fantastic book for anyone who wants to see that men also need compassion and love. And men, it shows us the shackles binding us so that we can work to set ourselves free. You deserve to be whoever you were going to be before our innocence was crushed in childhood.

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks challenged me time and again. Hooks writing is always engaging and The Will to Change is no exception. The Will to Change looks at the way society molds the ideas of masculinity in connection with femininity. Hooks focuses on the influence of patriarchy on the roles men and women play in society starting with childhood. As I read, I struggled at times to let go of preconceptions I didn't even know I held. The Will to Change explores how men can live more whole lives and how that will benefit both men and women as well as society.

This is the most healing book that I have ever read! As someone who has struggled my entire life to understand my disconnect with men, this book has offered me a perspective that has facilitated a deeper connection to myself as well as a deeper connection to men. I feel healing taking place in areas I had previously lost hope. Words cannot express how profoundly appreciative I am that Bell Hooks wrote this book.

This was my first introduction to Bell Hooks (I can't recall what other book i was reading that referenced it and I thought I should check it out). Well, a very important read I believe as it addresses some foundational issues that AREN'T being addressed with men. Patriarchy and its impact, both robbing women as well as men and its consequential misogyny. So deeply entwined within our upbringing and culture. Bell masterfully and tenderly pulls it apart - and why this is so important is it exposes that 'men will be men' is a LIE and that we are much more multifaceted and CAPABLE of change and BEING whole, loving and MORE than what our culture would want to straighjacket us into. - I since have started to read her book on LOVE and it is profound and awesome and truly is providing language and an outlook that is life changing. I highly recommend. (And I wish I could have met her. Sadly I just read in the news of her passing right as I was getting to know her work. quite a remarkable woman and gift to this world.) - BTW - I'm a man writing this and its just my perspective.

Great book. bell hooks is one of our most prominent scholars who makes feminism accessible to everyone, and also demonstrates the benefits of a feminist perspective for everyone, not just women. This is appropriate for both genders, especially men. Her perspective on patriarchy outlines how its continued social organization is detrimental to all of us equally. I found her work revealed pain I couldn't previously have recognized or uncovered.

bell hooks does an amazing job analyzing both the depth and breadth in which our society's veneration of toxic masculinity harms everyone, focusing on the men that the Patriarchy purports to benefit. I was recommended this book by a formerly incarcerated man who used bell hooks and her analysis to design an anti-Patriarchy class while in prison. I recommend this book to anyone but especially to men who identify with feminist ideals but have difficulty on how to express them in a healthy and constructive way.

Wow. What an amazing book. After nearly a decade of focused exploration into growth, healing, and how to reclaim all aspects of our humanity, I stand in awe at the depth and breadth of important aspects bell hooks was able to gather in this concise, powerful book. She clearly has an agenda and references patriarchy constantly, which might turn some people off, but the deeper truths behind the specific language she uses is undeniable. If you seek wholeness and meaning and love, this book is an invaluable companion on your journey.

I think Bell Hooks' ideas about patriarchy help illuminate the general arc of our culture today. When self help books value emotional IQ, when modern management books like from the Studor group encourage mentoring, these all come from the "feminine" side. Loving the stranger was the first cultural cornerstone laid 2,000 years ago. Loving our closest other is happening just today and is of equal moral and cultural importance. She describes a radical, "old style" male which we can all still feel inside ourselves.

This was a great read to reflect upon and think through the patriarchy. My only critique is not her observations of patriarchy, but at her lack of vision for a future without it. (She even notes her struggle when writing a children's book) It's been helpful for me to read and reflect on her process and work towards being a more self-actualized person as we get to co-construct a new feminist world together.

Ms.hooks grounds this essay on gender relations in her own experience as a girl growing up. She observes the struggles of her father to love his family. From that experience, she argues powerfully for men freeing themselves from the strictures of conventional masculinity -- and shows the way to freedom. This book is recommended for every male-identified person in your life. Reading it can make a real difference. Please check it out.

This was a great read. Very insightful, informative, and eye opening. The author does a great job of explaining the nuances and forces at work when it comes to how men operate in society and offers realistic/pragmatic ways that men can break the cycle while not losing their sense of masculinity. I have definitely become a Bell Hooks fan and will be reading more of her books in the future.

hooks has yet again produced a needed book on the concept of love along with a feminist critique. The Will To Change provides the ground work for men to start to explore how Patriarchal culture has divorced us from our emotional lives. hooks speaks with deep love and passion about the Feminist movement's need to see how Patriarchy is damaging to men.

This book is powerful. It can help men see and explain things they have felt and yet they didn't have words for!! High recommend for all men!

I am a man. I bought this book to help me deal with emotions, to talk about emotions and to understand the role of patriarchy on our society. This book should be mandatory on every high school for all people. A really strong message written in an easy to understand way.

Read this when it was published and couldn't put it down. Recently bought it again and gave it to my boyfriend. He struggles with masculine expectations, people in his life have urged him to be more tough and manly. He read this in a couple of days and came out with a thoughtful analysis of how patriarchy has influenced his life and the people he's known. He doesn't call himself a feminist but he has a critique of how harmful patriarchy is.

Ms. Hooks writes with clarity and simplicity. Once your eyes are opened, you can never "unsee" the negative impact patriarchy and sexism (and all this "isms" for that matter) has on our lives in both subtle and not so subtle ways. Of course, when you know better, you do better, and that is the point of the book.

Im the midst of recovery from the very trauma spoken about in the lovely book I found a voice for my rage. I found a sound track for my emotions. I found understanding.

The copy I received was in perfect condition. I gave this as a gift to a male coworker who was interested in feminist ideology. This book was perfect because Bell Hooks takes incredibly dense feminist ideology and compartmentalizes it in a way that makes it accessible. She also includes men in the larger feminist conversation here in such a way that is both inclusive and is able to hold men accountable for their actions in the larger society.

As a male new to feminist ideas, this book spoke to me on a personl level, and laid out clearly before me many of the issues I myself have struggled with. This book does an excellent job of showing men tht feminism is not a threat to them, and can include them in its fight for gender equality. I would recommend this to any open-minded or curious men.

It was a enlightening book, It helped me understand the complexity of men and women. A lot of the work I've been doing for myself definitely was represented in the book. Helping to let me know I'm on the right path,

Great insight about how patriarchy negatively impacts men and boys, how we can maintain awareness, and change the cycle of toxic masculinity and dominator culture. Sometimes you feel the truth of something, but don't have the words to express or understand it. Through this book and others, bell hooks gave me and my partner this understanding.

This is the first book I read by bell hooks, and it is absolutely fabulous. There were long stretches of the book where I was literally saying to myself, "this woman is literally the second coming of Christ." Don't get me wrong--this book isn't perfect. But it did soothe and validate many of the feelings I have been having about my place in "identity politics." Regretfully, I haven't yet picked up another book on Masculinity Studies, but because of all the quotes hooks makes in this book, I will have many wonderful places to start. This book is a gem, and we as a society do not deserve an author so smart and empathetic. I swear, if she decided to literally found a religion, I might just follow her.

Bell Hooks, as always, has a refreshingly loving and insightful perspective on men within patriarchal culture. She expresses her points with great clarity. If you haven’t read theory, or you’re new to learning about this kind of thing - don’t worry, she writes in a way that anyone can understand and feel embraced by.

This book helped me understand sexism and the plight of our male brothers so clearly. Thank you

Banger of a book. Had to read for class, but one of the few I’m glad I kept.

one of the best books of the year. Helpful for men and women to read. Identify the ways patriarchal acculturation has affected your loving relationships so you can change unhealthy behaviors

A must read for any man who wants to understand how to heal their ability to love themselves and others. It also offers a profound undertaking of how deeply patriarchal culture penetrates our lives and minds. It is also very accessible and free of obscure jargon. Also, I write this as a man. fyi.

Everyone should read this book.

Allows space between how is is, and how it could be. She examines both. Insightful, inspiring and affirming.

Love the insight this book provides. I am a 50 yr old white male. This is revealing many answers to feelings and questions I have been taught to not ask or think about. A revelation to reality.

This offering really gets to the heart of the issue with patriarchy. This is a guidebook for men who want to be feminist allies.

Every male identifying person should read this book. Although EVERY body should read this book, I think this book fulfills a special type of void for male identifying people. I'm a 35 year old man who in the past few years has made some major discoveries in regards to my role in patriarchy. I've taught in the hood for 10+ years, and some of these discoveries, in addition to the language of this book (obviously in addition to my own lived experiences) has given me a more secure game plan on how to help our young men. Keep in mind, the statement I just made is much different than the statement, "...on how to discipline our young men." Yes, of course discipline is involved in helping...but if you ain't up on game about the content bell hooks is discussing in this particular book, I would challenge the statement that you're helping as much as you think you are. Real spit. Pick the book up and give it a read.

I recommend this book to men who wish to challenge the patriarchy and truly help our world. Start here by reading, then go out there and do the work.

Both genders are starved for true love and trust. The history of the violence permeates and prevent love from manifesting. Men and women are going to have to let their hearts lead and make their heads follow. Let the inner child loose, let love lead.

This was an amazing read. It was urgent, timely, and difficult to read as it had me standing in front of the mirror a lot.

Great book, educating us about the ways our current socio-economic-political-religious practice of patriarchy wounds not only women and children, but men, themselves! Eye opening!

Still relevant today

gave it to my dad and he loves it, and i love that he's all about it

This book has helped me to better understand, at a fundamental level, how deeply racism and patriarchy impacts the relationship dynamics between the sexes.Her writing is clear and to the point, but tempered with honesty, empathy , and compassion. If you are interested in learning to apply critical consciousness and "de-colonize" your mind, I can't recommend bell hooks enough.

I loved this book and what it discussed. I'm currently writing part of my thesis on male love. Any other readers have any other book recommendations that discuss male love in an expansive and helpful way?

Excellent book! Highly recommend! Using it as a primary reference for my own upcoming chapter on toxic masculinity.

She’s fantastic so transparent she is an oracle and the genius I admire her and her work infinitely

A few things stand out about this book. First, it is refreshingly willing to call the feminist movement out on its s***. I state this first because men who are less likely to read this book because of frustration with feminism need to hear this. As well, it's deeply honest, and not at all compromising in its radicalness to achieve the balance it has. Lastly, and most importantly, it's just deeply relevant. It matches so much of my experience, and has helped me see what I need to work on to improve my life. I recommend it to men to help see how they can live more fully and have better relationships (with men and women), and to women to see how to help support men in making these changes, as well as to understand our struggles.

I bought it for my boyfriend and he liked it a lot

We really need to be rethinking what it is to be a man today and this book gives great signposts as to how to make it happen.

bell hooks is beyond. Such an insightful and needed read.

Very well done. Definitely recommending this to EVERYONE. Love how this isn't just another tsk tsk dissertation. Hooks has a new fan.

For me this book was very eye opening as to how young men are indoctrinated to adhere to patriarchal culture and how damaging it is for them and society as a whole.

A compassionate look at how men suffer from the patriarchy.

The books are in great quality and came earlier than expected.

All men should read this book.

This was the first book I've read by bell hooks- I was previously familiar with her work, but hadn't yet read a full piece. A bit of context about me as a reader, because I think that's a very important aspect of how this book will be received: I'm a man who considers himself a feminist ally. I do buy into the idea of feminism as important for the health and well-being of not only women, but men as well, so some of my reaction to this book may lie in the fact that it speaks directly to my interests. I have some prior familiarity with mythopoetic men's movement books like "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" and "Iron John", which hooks addresses. For me, as someone who is working to develop my sense of identity as a thoughtful, respectful, compassionate man, this book was exactly what I wanted at this point in my development. If you're not familiar with bell hooks, she is a proponent of intersectionality - basically, the belief that privilege isn't necessarily a monolithic characteristic that lies only with specific groups, but rather a more fluid interaction between different characteristics of individuals as they relate to one another. A white woman and a black woman may both experience gender discrimination, but it may not be in the same way or to the same degree, based on the additional factor of race. (Don't take my explanation as airtight - I'm just trying to provide context.) Given this philosophy, hooks is able to provide a keen inspection of the ways in which patriarchy not only benefits men, but also harms them. If you hold the unfortunately common (and mistaken) belief that feminism sees straight, white men as "the bad guy", hooks will skewer that. She speaks to some of the societal structures that place unequal burdens on men, or teach us harmful ways of viewing ourselves, without losing sight of the fact that those same structures are harmful to women, people of color, and other minority classes. She does this with INCREDIBLE compassion and even-handedness - in fact, I would say that hooks' ability to discuss this incredibly charged subject matter with such an unwavering sense of caring, fairness, and courage is the single best thing about the entire book. Unlike some who claim to advocate for men, hooks speaks to these issues in a way that unifies and encourages understanding, rather than making one group or another into the boogeyman. There are a few areas which I found challenging and didn't necessarily agree with 100% - there's a section where she briefly discusses Dworkin, whose beliefs are challenging for most men, but she definitely doesn't shy away from talking about radical feminists and the reality of misandry (overblown as it may be in many circles). She doesn't deny that there are some feminists who have driven men away with anger, but she also doesn't pretend that they're a majority - nor does she pretend they don't exist because that might be more convenient. I was a little concerned when the subject came up at first, but she handles it so well that I came away with a sense of greater understanding and compassion. Similarly, she sometimes references Bly (Iron John) and disagrees with aspects of his philosophy (basically, how his work views women)- I see her point where she makes it, didn't necessarily agree completely, but again: she does it in such a way that I don't feel baited or dismissed, but as if I'm just hearing the opinions of someone who is clearly very educated, opinionated, and above all, dedicated to compassion and fairness. Overall, this book speaks to a very charged subject with unerring maturity, insight, and compassion. If you're able to read it with an open mind and heart, you'll likely find it as moving as I did. There are places where hooks speaks to painful realities of manhood with such clarity that it hurts, but in the end she reveals a path to greater connectedness, compassion, and emotional health.

I really liked the book is respectful and compassionate toward men.It was very enlightening. Bell Hooks describes the pressure put on men living in the patriarchal society.I recommend the book for both men and women.

Bell hooks articulates the problems and benefits of feminism. Feminism is not about hating men,but about helping them to love and be loved.

I'm a feminist man and father. This book will help me be a better spouse and dad. hooks shows us what nontoxic masculinity can look like.

Good book with great preceptions.

This is really more of a feminist ramble than anything else. Hooks doesn't really construct arguments or cite anything but anecdotal sources. In most of the book, she constructs images of truly brutish men, then contrasts this against her vision of feminism. As a man, reading this is kind of a beating, but I guess men weren't really her intended audience for this book. If you want to learn about masculinity - either spiritually, historically, or in any other sense, I don't recommend this book. Even if you want to learn about feminism or the feminist take on masculinity, I would suggest seeking something more coherent.

A must read <3

This book creates change for anyone who reads it.

one of my fav books

I found this book while I was looking for books on feminism and was initially wondering where the association was. I think I understand now after reading this book. The central focus of this book is that "imperialist white-surpemacist capitalist patriarchies" are keeping everyone from fulfilling their relational abilities. Feminism has long fought for a degree of equality for women to assume roles that are traditionally "masculine" as well as "feminine", but the fight has not been as hard to allow men to equal right to both. A man's traditional role in the patriarchy revolves around stoicism, aggression, and disconnection. Our partners and friends, especially women want connection, empathy, vulnerability, and authenticity. This has lead to for men I know, and myself, to feel isolated and with a difficult balancing act. Society and media have trained us for the stoicism and aggression, but I don't feel most of us ever got the instruction manual or practice at the vulnerability and empathy. This aggression and stoicism certainly hurts our relationships with everyone else, especially our partners. Part of the argument for feminism is that we do away with the patriarchal roles so that we can all be more true to our authentic selves. This book has helped me identify where my dissatisfaction lies. The fight for career and assuming more and more responsibilities isn't leading to joy. My traditional attempts haven't worked. Maybe the way to joy lies does lie toward the connection, vulnerability, and empathy. This book has opened the path for those thoughts. Now to try to find more knowledge sources about these skills and places to practice them.

Great book. Love Bell Hooks!!!!!

This is the best book, and possibly only book, I have ever seen on how men can find and love themselves in this gender-ordered world.

Great read, i love the way bell Hooks addresses very complex topics with simplicity. She gives you a lot to think about and forces You to continue to self reflect. All men and women should read !

Everyone needs to read this book, especially every man, and especiallly today.

Great book on how if view things a bit differently . This world could live in harmony so much easier . Highly reccomend her books , I have yet to be disappointed

This book was a paradigm changer for me. If you are interested in understanding the painful ways in which men are socialized to ignore and repress their hearts, and want help knowing what we can do about it - this book is for you. The best book I've read in a while and one I am recommending to everyone.

This book helped me start to discover the vocabulary to describe some of the emotions that I experienced as a young man but never voiced.

This book is not restricted to men, masculinity and love, but one's ability to see society differently and to learn how not to perpetuate sexism. Bell Hooks is an excellent example of feminism should be not only for women but for men and women both.

While the title "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" speaks to men, hooks has delivered insights for women also, helping us to see and understand how all of us - men and women - have been shaped by teachings that discourage loving and encourage a dominance by men to show their manhood. This work invited me to examine my perspective and attitude on how men are supposed to act and my expectations of men. It begs the question for all of us, “are we - men and women - willing to change?” This is a valuable resource for all to begin a dialogue as we seek to enjoy more meaningful and loving relationships – family, friends, workplace, social….

This book is perfect if you want to gain a critical, deeper understanding of how the patriarchal construct that we live under is a burden to men. It reveals how patriarchy damages mens' true sense of self and overall well-being. Bell Hooks does a superb job presenting the issues, as well as some solutions that promote transformation in the lives of the men we love.

Really opened my eyes to how the patriarchy impacts men, incorporated them into why feminism is necessary. Many times, feminists focuses on women's rignts; while that is absolutely part of it, Ms. Hooks presents a critical analysis of why men are important in the promotion of feminism, as well.

Excellent content

Amazing book. bell hooks does not disappoint

got this for a friend and she loved it.

Excellent work to expand thinking and enlightenment of issues facing our men and the women they effect.

I don't work for Amazon and would prefer to leave ratings in star form.

One of the most important books I have read in years.

Great Book....

This powerful book creates a foundation on which men can choose to leave behind patriarchial masculinity in favor of more complex, fulfilling conceptions of what it is to be a man. It should be asked, if men have it so good, and manliness is such a great state, then why are we all suffering in private. Hooks (Watkins) expresses the answer with the utmost passion. Today, in 2017, there are communities that focus on reconstructing masculinity. Many male thinkers and speakers express the need to broaden the definition of masculinity. But when this book was published in 2002 the ideas were still very revolutionary and radical. Still, it could be argued that even today the arguments by men to recreate patriarchial masculinity do not go far enough. In this book Hooks argues that patriarchial masculinity, capitalism, and racism are connected and that all must be eradicated abd replaced. I gave the book 4 stars because I felt that the link between toxic traditional masculinity and capitalism was not adequately made. I also felt that there were more logical fallacies in Hook's thinking than I would have expected in such a manifesto. Despite these weaknesses, Hook's eloquently and persuasively argues that patriarchial masculinity causes the suffering that men experience, as well as thedestruction of relationships, platonic and romantic, and livlihoods. Any man who is struggling to access his emotions or feels lost in life, or is having marital problems should read this book, and follow up with the author's referenced within.

Great read, gave me a different perspective of men

read this book for a class and absolutely loved it

This book is fascinating, but rather academic, making it an awkward read. But I can’t wait for my group’s discussion. And I would read it again just for the new perspective on masculinity.

Absolutely a great read!!! Its a most for all men to understand the other half of the world... women. Highly recommended.

bell hooks states that feminists have not discussed how to improve the lives of men and this is her attempt. In 11 chapters, she details her ideas that men must be open to feminism and feminists must be open to men, that patriarchal masculinity is the problem, not males, and that much harm comes to the life of boys. Professional critics have called this book that non-race-based equivalent to "We Real Cool." However, I'd say it's the male counterpart to hooks' "Communion." This book is an ideal tool for feminist women raising sons. It also may be a good introduction to feminism for progressive men or men who want to be progressive. hooks cites many canonical men's studies texts and progressive books on boys and men that many readers will find useful. (Again, it's a shame that this book lacks a bibliography, just like most of her most recent works.) While this book discusses romantic love, that type of relationship is not the main issue here. Readers that have already heard enough about hooks' views on love from her autobiographies and recent works will find this refreshing. Many loving dynamics are detailed here. Most importantly, hooks discusses the troubles faced by little boys. I'm impressed that a childless writer is so devoted to children. This almost reminded me of Rosie O'Donnell's autobiography the way a grown woman is so concerned about minors. I would say that I have three major complaints/critiques of her book. First, as much as she constantly assesses and promotes feminism, what comes through is that anti-oppression books can help men. Her gender analysis just happens to be her angle. A civil rights activist could have said that organizing could help men or a Communist discussing anti-classism could make the same argument that hooks makes here. Thinking about justice, breaking out of boundaries, and imagining utopias has never been the work of just feminists. Second, hooks critiques feminist self-help books for not discussing politics and the larger superstructure. However, the majority of self-help books, even ones that she cites, are apolitical. She needs to critique the whole genre if she is going to find so many individual examples unsatisfying. People who feel that hooks was too hard on Naomi Wolf will be equally surprised at how she goes after Susan Faludi here. Third, recently, everytime bell hooks mentions sexual orientation issues, she starts off with "Lesbians and gay men can be as conservative as anyone else, but here's one bit of info that I find useful from their activism......" If a white person started every comment on race with "People of color can be just as conservative as anyone else, but...." or a class-privileged person said, "Some poor people deserve the barrel they are in, but here's what I find useful on class-based activism....", etc., hooks would be livid, yet she does it with gays. I understand hooks' point that gays are just people just like straights. However, her statements are somewhat course and insensitive. I think this flaw still highlights how bell hooks has continually marginalized issues of sexual orientation while she champions issues of race, class, and gender. Her recent ability to add imperialism to the mix shows she can build on her theorizing, so her stance on gay rights is incredibly problematic. There's a great chapter in Carbrado's "Black Men on Race, Gender, and Sexuality" that discusses hooks' shortcoming. At the end of almost every chapter, hooks presents cultural criticism. Her subjects are broad including the Harry Potter series, the film "Life as a House," and other popular works. I am curious as to whether she is trying to satisfy her fans that are most familiar with her cultural studies work. I wonder if she is trying to prove that her new march toward self-help writing is not meant to show she has lost her cult crit skills. Coming from an African-American woman who almost always discusses black issues, this book was pretty light on race matters. African-American readers, like myself, looking for that topic will find that the only chapter that is the exception is "Popular Culture: Media Masculinity." I applaud hooks for pointing out and proving that black authors have an array of writing interests. Like always, this book is annoyingly repetitive. hooks comes close to admitting this in her introduction. If I remember correctly, she seemed reluctant to discuss domestic violence and war in her classic text "Talking Back." Now, she has taken those problems as a centerpiece of her work. The cover of this book shows that Renaissance painting where God's finger points down toward Man's (this was the basis for the cover to "E.T.," btw). The cover has a pretty shade of blue. I think readers will find the cover quite inviting.

Amazing. Life changing. Great read for every woman and every man

Tried to get into this book, but the author often makes sweeping generalizations, uses anecdotal evidence, and straw man arguments to prove her points throughout the book. Like most books in this genre if you simply replace the word “men” with “women” then you can clearly see the logical fallacies for what they are.

This book has become my patriarchy Bible. Each time I go back, there's always more to find. bell hooks's writing is full of gems and nuggets that have become centerpieces of the way I view the world.

This is the first "bell hooks" book I have read. I loved this book but wish it had citations for some of the facts. Undeniable that the philosophy is powerful and liberating to men to be more wholesome emotional creatures that can love and not just be a tough guy.

Love it

In my opinion its just a terrible read. I say outdated because the opinion that this woman states in her book and basis her reasoning on is based on growing up in a time that treated women and children far different than they are treated today. Possibly helpful back then very little relevance today.

The author has a good point but bores the reader with too much repetition.

A perfect example of what is wrong with society today.

The book started with clear examples of what ms. hooks would like to see change, but about 2/3 of the way through shifted into arguing her case for what kind of change should happen and became very fuzzy. She has a theory, but I found myself wondering what she based her theory and what the change would look like, on. It got to be that she was just piling on to convince the reader that the form of her ideas was good and should be implemented, but never articulated how she arrived at her ideas, or what supported the formation of those ideas. Disappointing read.

This is an excellent book, insightful, easy to read and understand masculinity. Hooks does a wonderful job to explain why it is that men act the way they do and why it is so difficult them to show feelings and emotions.

A feminist talking mostly about herself and the same old feminist stories

I like this book. Thank you.

Personally, it was difficult read for me. The use of patriarchy was so plentiful that it could be used interchangeably with male within this text. I do salute the authors effort. "Not every sermon is intended for an entire congregation" - hopefully, this book will find itself in the hands of someone in need.

This author made the mistake of generalizing her experiences with men to our entire male culture at large. She presupposes that all men cannot feel real emotion. The book was not very well written and just needed a lot of refinement in general. I appreciate her effort but it simply is not a good break down of our situation in my opinion.

I forgot how heavy, academic and intellectual Ms. Hooks writing is. Certainly not a light read.

Been looking for texts on feminist masculinity. As the author states, there's not much out there! But this book is that and more, delving into construct of patriarchy and how it harms all, then moving forward into an inspiring guide toward spirituality and healing the divided soul of the man. All men should read this and all others who want to learn to support their positive change.

Whether you are a man or love a man (in any capacity- as a romantic partner, brother, uncle, friend), so this includes EVERYONE- this is an important and eye-opening book. I have recommended it to many males in my life, and it has been profoundly impactful on me as well. bell hooks has an incredible way of concisely communicating important truths that make sense as soon as she states them about how patriarchal society has robbed boys and men of their ability to be their full, joyful selves. She also cites many interesting sources, including lots of male psychologists and therapists who have additional important insight to share. Do yourself a favor and read this book, and share it with others in your life!

Imagine I wrote a book trying to motivate women to stop trying to be successful in careers, and that their place was rightly in the kitchen and bedroom. And I loaded it with "scientific" data that patriarchal societies are just about the only ones that have developed organically since the beginning of time. Their emotions should be directed solely at the men in their lives and their children. "Indeed, women need to change." This book is just as insulting except to men. Women need to stay out of men's psychological lives. Men have generally agreed that they can't change women, and women need to stop trying to castrate men. We need to recognize gender for what it is, not trying to "fix" it. Fortunately, feminism is a dying topic and the collapsing field is doing what it can to remain relevant.

This book has a lot to say to women as well as men. We women, particularly we white cis women, feed into this toxic masculinity in many ways both benefitting from it and being damaged by it.

bell hooks provides a thorough examination of how patriarchy influences and shapes our concept of masculinity. By teaching our boys to shut off their feelings, that it's acceptable (encouraged even) to express their masculinity through anger and violence, we're restricting their growth and ability to connect with others. The impact of this ripples through our society in so many ways. I also appreciate hooks delving into how even women can buy in to, participate, and advocate for a patriarchy that causes both men and women so much pain. Throughout the book, she provides several suggestions for changing our behaviors, allowing boys to express themselves freely, and encouraging both men and women to speak up in ways that help us all.

This is the first feminist book I've read, recommended to me by my girlfriend. It introduces a lot of words and concepts I wasn't used to, but it soon became clear that the experience of patriarchy she describes is universal. We are conditioned as men to think, act, and relate in certain ways, and not others. This book is an entryway into the awareness that is required for us to begin to unravel this conditioning, to become more fully realized beings and experience love.

"The Will to Change" by bell hooks is one of the best books I have ever read. bell hooks gets to the heart of the ways in which most of us (men and women, people of all classes and races) are harmed by patriarchy, as well as exposing the ways in which we unconsciously replicate it in our personal lives. Her ideas are big enough to include all people who are struggling with division, oppression, and/or general un-wholeness and unhappiness, not just women. She suggests that the way to freedom is for us to love each other and support each other on our journies to wholeness. She clearly and consistently frames the struggle as one of hurting people yearning to be whole and free. This is a theory that is accessible to everyone - anyone who searches their heart, or just observes the society around them, can see that what she says is true. As a feminist who is married and loves men, I found her advice to be full of wisdom, with a refreshing lack of intellectual elitism. After reading this wonderful work, I am more convinced than ever that heart and soul are the primary components of our future evolutionary path. Hats off to you, ms. hooks!

I am a big bell hooks fan. I consider Feminism is for Everyone to be essential reading for the budding "women's libber" (haha gotta love a throw back). This book delivered as expected even though it did not inspire me to the extent that hooks' previously mentioned work did. I appreciated her analysis of patriarchial male culture. Hooks' choice of words gets straight to the point. She never apologizes for her opinion but at the same time her work shows an astounding amount of forgivness. Hooks' understands that nobody trapped within in the confines of a patriarchal society can be fully well. Though some benefit from this construct of oppression, ultimately nobody wins. The empathy that Hooks' expresses towards men that have hurt her in the past is prove positive that she is a member of the rare group of authors who posses the ability to put their conflicting views on paper without sounding indecisive. Hooks' dreams of a world free of oppression. Her believe that we CAN transform our toxic culture into one that nurtures all of the people that it surrounds, is uplifting. Hooks' work inspires discussion. She clearly states her opinion but remains open to dissenting views. Her critique of the Harry Potter books is not to be missed (I KNEW there was a reason that I never liked that series)! This book has something for everyone. All people would benefit from reading it.

Both my husband and I have found this profoundly transformative.

Should be required reading for men and women alike.

Throughout history, society has defined exactly what it means to be a "man." From birth, men and women together learn that men are providers, protectors, emotionally detached, and physically stronger. In an effort to reinforce such beliefs, society created gaps between men and women in almost all arenas of life: the workforce, personal hobbies, appearance, and relationship roles. Due to the creation and nurturing of such roles, it has become difficult for men to love and to express any kind of emotion (except anger)...it has also become difficult for women to understand men and how to love them. In her novel THE WILL TO CHANGE: MEN, MASCULINITY, AND LOVE, feminist scholar bell hooks sets upon the task of unearthing the roots of masculine thinking. She sheds light on patriarchy, on masculine emotion, and how together they affect men from infancy to manhood. She includes quotes from journalists, psychologists, and other feminine theorists to support and clarify her opinions. THE WILL TO CHANGE is an informative, thought-provoking work that strikes at the very soul of our society. Reading like a college psychology text, it can be a little dry in spots, however, hooks shows readers how deeply misguided she believes our society to be and how difficult it is to change the very basis of our foundation. Author bell hooks is a passionate, highly educated woman, and while most of what she writes is disturbing and often difficult for me to swallow, I appreciate her contribution to the education of our society. Reviewed by Natasha T. of The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers

Everyone should read this book. It's perfect foundation for starting the tough discussions that build the community we all crave.

This was an excellent read! As a heterosexual male trying to understand his role within this described patriarchal system, this book has assisted me in identifying the various areas that work still needs to be done. I will be transparent by stating that this book elicited various emotions ranging from guilt to comfort which I believe is important to experience, if pro-social change is our desired outcome. I definitely recommend this book to all!

This is an amazing book. It's not a lengthy read, but it sure isn't lacking in depth.

This book is incredible and bell hooks does an amazing job on critically analyzing the construction of masculinity in our culture. Defining the differnce between Patriachal Masculinity and Masculinity bell hookds articulates the amazing and critical roles masculinity plays in our culutre and the numerous ways that patriachry has prevented men and women from fullfilling their deepest desires in this world, which is the desire to love and be loved. This book has forever changed the way that I view and cherish masculinity, it is a must read.

Thank YOu!

Provocative case to be made for the self harm of patriarchy (in addition to the better known 3rd party/external harms), but doesn’t offer much in terms of what one could replace it with—diagnoses the ills with no curative. Consider my awareness raised I guess.

Fast shipping. Great product. I love this book

Meh. She's not stupid, and she has some nice moments, but at bottom, it's still the same old attempt by a certain kind of feminist to turn maleness into a disease. Yes, some aspects of what is considered manly in modern culture are not especially healthy, but not all or even most of them, as ms. hooks would have us believe. bell hooks carries about as much authority writing about how to be a man as Donald Trump would, writing about how to be a woman.

This book is excellent. Very enlightening and interesting. Bell Hooks is a fantastic writer. Loved this book.

This is an insightful read that challenges a lot of the conventional ways of thinking that are prevalent in American society. Hooks does a great job consolidating multiple sources of existing literature and layering her perspective.

Printing quality of the book is blurry and poor. To me it seems someone printed the book on their home setup printer. It literally looked like photocopy of the original book.

If you wonder why the movement may sometimes feel like it is asking for the power dynamics to simply shift scales, as opposed to being equitably distributed, it's not the movemeont—it's the spokesperson. bell hooks is unbiased, reassuring, and multidimensional. Womanism is for EVERYONE. Please consider the read.

i have history of not treating others well. This helped me connect my past experiences to present behavior and made me realize the importance of communication and honesty with those around you.

Good reading. Makes you think and hopefully act better.

Bell Hooks is one of my favourite authors, and this book did not dissapoint! Sometimes as women, we are so quick to demonise men and forget that we often perpetuate the same patriarchy that we are fighting to abolished. Hooks talks about men, emotions and how women are not always able to handle a man who is emotive and likes to talk about he feels. We have been conditioned to believing that masculinity equates to being hard and showing no emotion, so when a man finally does show/ discuss his emotions.. we have no idea how to handle it. Hooks is a great author when it comes to intersectionality of different factors that affect one's behaviour etc. Great read!

bell hooks manages a tour de force by bringing an empathetic perspective to the feminist struggle. She calls men 'Comrades in Struggle' and analyses how patriarchy affects all genders. Beyond her analysis of the current challenges, she offers ideas and suggestions for moving forward towards healing and flourishing for both men and women.

I wasn't familiar with Bell Hook's work before reading this book. The book is inspiring. It provides a vocabulary for many of those things we experience but can't quite define on our own. Bell Hook's writing soothes the soul, she is truly compassionate. She contextualizes personal experience providing a clear and coherent picture of her broader, radical vision. Following this reading, I was ready to explore more of her work.

Love bell hooks and all she has to say on what patriarchy and feminism is REALLY about.

We must change.

Speedy delivery. Good quality

This book can be considered as a Bible for feminist Men. Overall very good perspective on how the whole society needs more feminism and we need to get rid of patriarchy once and for all. The author gives a lot examples from her own life and I can still remember most of these examples very vividly. There are not many book whäch can deläver such a strong effect. I have already suggested it to every man around me and gave it as a present to couple of them, as well!

This book came to my life earlier, when I was in the prime of being an angry feminist, blaming men for patriarchy and not fully understanding why I couldn't put my energy into men, loving them, listening to them. It was too much for my mind at the time, and it is probably still too much, but now I am assimilating everything, and being grateful to bell hooks for this. This book should be compulsory for everyone because it had a way of describing patriarchal boyhood and manhood that is crude and mindblowing, explaining that in order to boys become men, they have to be ripped of their profound feelings, of their soul. And as heartbreaking at it is, acknowledging that it is real, that we are all accomplices in this, is the first step to change it. I have annotated and highlighted this book like crazy, but I wanted to quote that 'Only a revolution of values in our nation will end male violence, and that revolution will necessarily be based on a love ethic. To create living men, we must love males.'

This book breaks down what we have been taught and proposes a path forward. Love it and for everyone seeking to heal relationships it’s a must read.

Un libro realmente esclarecedor sobre todas las relaciones humanas con hombres. Es importante conocer a fondo nuestra sociedad la base de ellas. Ya que si queremos cambiarla debemos saber hacia donde dirigir nuestros esfuerzos.

Essential reading.

This book is dope. Men need to read

I enjoyed this book very much. It was an easy read and provided insight into things I had been thinking about for a while--the impact of the patriarchy on men, but also how women support and enable the patriarchy.

Me ayudo mucho contra la Ansiedad

A helpful read for a person looking to understand what patriarchy is, and how harmful it is to men raised within it.

Fantastic book.

Amazing author, amazing book! I couldn't stop reading it! The style of bell hooks writing is just rousing! A must read for every not radical feminist.

I found this book to be highly read-able, insightful, and necessary.

Großartiges Buch und absolut lesenswert!

It will change your life, we all need work hard to identify our most culturally ingrained flaws and confront them in ourselves. Read this book if you are looking for a means to love yourself authentically and in turn, love others.

Enlightening to the nth degree

It's a really important book which is accessible and penetrates the mind of the reader. It's really honest, quite cutting at times but with a clear purpose. I'd like to say it'd change you but actions speak louder than words etc. Cheers bell.

Amazing book for men, women, and all genders in between :)

As a man who achieved everything in this book I'm abandoning these useless ideas that lead to my own destruction in a world populated by emotionally deadened women like the author. My soul will find its own as women like the author are as vile as the patriarchs they abhor

In this book Bell Hooks teases you with the promise of solutions to what she refers to as "internalised patriarchy", then proceeds to develop a series or naive observations of what today we know as 'Toxic Masculinity', ignoring (imo) the more knotty issues of subject formation, that could include trauma theory and I don't know maybe some more science-based analysis (?). As a piece of cultural critique it is nicely written, but content-wise it really just conjecture. Well intentioned tone (probably the reason it's so popular), but lacking in anything useful of insightful.

Love it!

It is brilliant and a must-read for everyone

A good read for every men, I identified many times with what bell was saying. A must read to understand patriarchy