The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating

Wonderful book for anyone wanting Christian guidance on love, sex and dating!

“People don't give up what they're currently doing until they're convinced that what they're currently doing is an obstacle to where or who they want to be. People change when they have a picture of a preferred future. No matter how bad you feel about your past ... regardless of the con-sequences associated with your behavior . . ain't nothing going to change until you decide what story you want to tell two or three years from now.” This is just 1 of many many many nuggets in this book. Do not read this unless you want to change.

Buy this book. Read it. Single or not, you will be glad you did. Life has become increasingly complicated in the new millennium, in part, because American culture has thrown out “the rule book”. Some blame the pill; some blame the feminists; some blame the media. Whatever the reason, the irony is that the emotional and financial costs of broken relationships have never been higher. In his new book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating, Andy Stanley writes: “I’m not all that interested in why things are the way they are. I’m more interested in helping you navigate the way things are. My purpose in writing is to increase your relational satisfaction” (14). Fair enough. But then Stanley then goes on to offer a rather rare insight: “I’ve met with many struggling married couples who would describe themselves as having ‘marriage problems.’ But in all my years I’ve never talked to a married couple that actually had a marriage problem. What I have discovered is that people with problems get married and their problems collide. What was manageable as a single person eventually becomes unmanageable within the context of marriage” (20). Wow. This is getting down to brass tacks! Instead of looking for that perfect person to solve all your problems, Stanley says—hey, look in the mirror![1] Andy Stanley is a pastor who does not sound or write like a pastor. He describes himself as a communicator, author, and pastor and founder of North Point Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia. His book is written in 10 chapters, including: 1. The Right Person Myth; 2. Commitment is Overrated; 3. Becoming the Right Person; 4. So Becoming; 5. Love Is; 6. Gentleman’s Club; 7. The Way Forward; 8. The Talk; 9. Designer Sex; and 10. If I were You (7-8). These chapters are preceded by acknowledgments and an introduction. They are followed by conclusions, notes, and a small group discussion guide. A DVD video study is also available. This is a book filled with a lot of wisdom. For example, Stanley’s discussion of 1 Corinthians 13 in chapter 5 is priceless—he describes it as your list of suggestions on becoming the person that you would want to meet (76). One item on this list is patience: Love is patient (1 Cor 13:4). Stanley notes that impatience is an emotion, not a decision, and it does not come naturally. We all have a natural pace and get angry when others don’t go along. Stanley explains that love means deferring to someone else to set the pace—in time, space, and margin just as much as they need (79). The cliff notes version of Stanley’s advice is found in chapter 10 which he describes as the “hard sell”. Stanley knows his audience. He starts this chapter by repeating a challenge that he made earlier: “Beginning today, take a year off from all romantic and sexual pursuits” (170). This is the hard sell part. Psychiatrists tell us that addictions are forever—abstinence is the only prescription that truly works. Bad habits take two weeks to break—bad sexual habits fall somewhere in-between. While this might sound like a high price to pay for moral clarity, but the life you save may be your own[2]. Stanley suggests that you spend this year proactively doing some important things to become the sort of person that the person you want to meet would find attractive. He has 5 suggestions: 1. Address your past—face up to your issues; 2. Break some bad habits (substance abuse, bad attitudes, poor fashion choices…); 3. Set some standards—how far is too far? 4. Get out of Debt—don’t expect to dump debt on a potential spouse; and 5. Go (back) to church—hang out in the right place (172). Remember the mirror mentioned earlier? You cannot change someone else but you can work on becoming someone they might actually want to get to know. This is not a preachy book, but it is an in-your-face book. Although my wife, Maryam, and I have been married for 30 years, I was already 30 when I got married. This implies that I was single for a long time. Reading Stanley’s book back then would have saved me a lot of pain. Go for it. Read it. Take it seriously. Save yourself a lot of pain. [1] Stanley writes: “ever purchase something from a big box retailer and open the box to find a card that reads something along these lines? If this product is defective or a piece is missing, do not return to the place of purchase. Instead, contact us at 1-800-ITS-YOUR-FAULT.” (59) [2] The leading cause of suicide among young people is a broken relationship.

Great source of information, understanding, patience, and guidance. This book is appropriate for all ages and all stages of life. You won’t be disappointed if you take the time to work on yourself and become the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.

I LOVED THIS BOOK! Whew. Okay. Just had to say that quick a second. But for real. I've never read anything by Andy Stanley (until this, and I most certainly will check out his other stuff soon!). The real reason I picked up this book was because I thought "Nice! I like that cover design! A lot! Super catchy cover..." and then I was like "Yeah, okay. I'll read that." Figured it might help me out with this whole Drew-likes-this-girl crazy random happenstance that popped up in my life about 2 months ago... and is becoming official soon. Woop woop! This book was extremely readable. Stanley has a neat way with word that I found super engaging, fresh, and graspable. The content was STELLAR. I'm a pretty traditional guy when it comes to dating and all that jazz, and Stanley did an EXCELLENT job crafting all the thoughts and feelings I have about what I ought to be doing/being in a relationship. No spoilers here - PICK UP THIS BOOK! Especially if you're a dude (Seriously, check out chapters 6 and 7). But if you're not a dude, this is also a great book for you too! Stanley describes a really practical, really wise way of going about making your relationship as successful as possible. Another thing, he doesn't hold back any punches. He disclaimers this a lot - necessary or not - I do feel that his candid demeanor was spot on. He spells it out clearly, all the while giving an incredibly convicting call to action for both guys and girls. Get ready to be called out on the carpet. It's good. Really really good. This book was heavy on the topic of sex. And for that I was glad. It was a really refreshing, well-needed perspective to hear. All that to say. This book was such a great resource, for me. I will be passing it along to just about everyone I know. And because pretty much everyone I know knows I read like a million books every year, that when I rave about one, it usually means it's extra special.... AKA... they will read it because I'm that friend that forces my friends to do things and then they later come back around and say "Yeah man, you were right. I needed that! And it was awesome." And then I'm like "Yep." And then they're like "Yep." BUY THIS BOOOOOK and then be AWESOME about how you do relationships!

Incredible approach to a sensitive topic. I appreciate Andrew's honesty, sincerity and "make it plain" delivery of God's intention and heart for relationship. The no holds barred discussion on sex is moving and effective for readers who truly want to make significant change in their life. Amen!

Beginning to date again after long years of marriage in today's culture can lead to much heartbreak. This book is a must read to avoid making those mistakes and explains the importance of the relationship and sex from a Christian view. I highly recommend it to all Christian widows.

I am a hopeless romantic. Their is nothing I want more in life then to find “the one”. Lets just say ive hit a few bumps in the road and this book is helping me put things into perspective. Most of the stuff the author mentions are all things we know in our subconscious but most dont put into play. This book reinforced my values and is encouraging me to keep trying. Just be be a little more intentional and patient.

I'm a grown (divorced) man and watched Pastor Andy Stanley's sermons based on this book, then I bought the book and read it. My intention was to see if it addressed the many mistakes my friends and I made, and to see it it was good enough to give to younger friends and family members. Having never received "the talk," I feel this short, easy-to-read book provides far more information in a clear, concise, no-nonsense format than any ten minute talk my father could have given me. The life principles Andy teaches are brilliant in their simplicity. The book has Christian overtones, but the information can be applied in anyone's life regardless of religious beliefs and age. I would highly recommend buying this book for your kids when they are junior high school age or more. Ideally, the children and parent(s) should both read it and discuss it. Some of the concepts require a little more maturity to understand, so the children should simply put the book on a shelf and read it (and discuss it) once a year until they understand the information. This book is also excellent for older single and divorced men and women, who have made some relationship mistakes, want a fresh start, and wish to avoid making as many relationship mistakes as possible. I highly recommend this book. It can change your life and save you or your children from making some fairly basic and completely avoidable relationship mistakes.

My therapist recommended this book to me... no she actually gave me “homework” and told me I had to read it. I was reluctant, not only because I don’t like being told what to do, but because in the last three years I’ve bought at least a dozen non-fiction books and I’ve only finished one (which took a year). Suffice it to say, I really don’t enjoy non-fiction. However, after a very hard sell from my therapist. I decided to spend $12 on Amazon and check it out. I’m very glad I did. This book has a lot of interesting information about love and relationships. It addresses some myths that we grow to believe because of modern day media and society and posits a very bold challenge in the end. It’s written by a pastor and does pull points from the Bible in later chapters. But honestly if you aren’t religious, just read the first few chapters and it’ll still be worth it to you. My two favorite quotes from this book: “You cannot change other people. You cannot did them.” “People change when they decide to change.”

Wonderful book for anyone wanting Christian guidance on love, sex and dating!

“People don't give up what they're currently doing until they're convinced that what they're currently doing is an obstacle to where or who they want to be. People change when they have a picture of a preferred future. No matter how bad you feel about your past ... regardless of the con-sequences associated with your behavior . . ain't nothing going to change until you decide what story you want to tell two or three years from now.” This is just 1 of many many many nuggets in this book. Do not read this unless you want to change.

Buy this book. Read it. Single or not, you will be glad you did. Life has become increasingly complicated in the new millennium, in part, because American culture has thrown out “the rule book”. Some blame the pill; some blame the feminists; some blame the media. Whatever the reason, the irony is that the emotional and financial costs of broken relationships have never been higher. In his new book, The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating, Andy Stanley writes: “I’m not all that interested in why things are the way they are. I’m more interested in helping you navigate the way things are. My purpose in writing is to increase your relational satisfaction” (14). Fair enough. But then Stanley then goes on to offer a rather rare insight: “I’ve met with many struggling married couples who would describe themselves as having ‘marriage problems.’ But in all my years I’ve never talked to a married couple that actually had a marriage problem. What I have discovered is that people with problems get married and their problems collide. What was manageable as a single person eventually becomes unmanageable within the context of marriage” (20). Wow. This is getting down to brass tacks! Instead of looking for that perfect person to solve all your problems, Stanley says—hey, look in the mirror![1] Andy Stanley is a pastor who does not sound or write like a pastor. He describes himself as a communicator, author, and pastor and founder of North Point Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia. His book is written in 10 chapters, including: 1. The Right Person Myth; 2. Commitment is Overrated; 3. Becoming the Right Person; 4. So Becoming; 5. Love Is; 6. Gentleman’s Club; 7. The Way Forward; 8. The Talk; 9. Designer Sex; and 10. If I were You (7-8). These chapters are preceded by acknowledgments and an introduction. They are followed by conclusions, notes, and a small group discussion guide. A DVD video study is also available. This is a book filled with a lot of wisdom. For example, Stanley’s discussion of 1 Corinthians 13 in chapter 5 is priceless—he describes it as your list of suggestions on becoming the person that you would want to meet (76). One item on this list is patience: Love is patient (1 Cor 13:4). Stanley notes that impatience is an emotion, not a decision, and it does not come naturally. We all have a natural pace and get angry when others don’t go along. Stanley explains that love means deferring to someone else to set the pace—in time, space, and margin just as much as they need (79). The cliff notes version of Stanley’s advice is found in chapter 10 which he describes as the “hard sell”. Stanley knows his audience. He starts this chapter by repeating a challenge that he made earlier: “Beginning today, take a year off from all romantic and sexual pursuits” (170). This is the hard sell part. Psychiatrists tell us that addictions are forever—abstinence is the only prescription that truly works. Bad habits take two weeks to break—bad sexual habits fall somewhere in-between. While this might sound like a high price to pay for moral clarity, but the life you save may be your own[2]. Stanley suggests that you spend this year proactively doing some important things to become the sort of person that the person you want to meet would find attractive. He has 5 suggestions: 1. Address your past—face up to your issues; 2. Break some bad habits (substance abuse, bad attitudes, poor fashion choices…); 3. Set some standards—how far is too far? 4. Get out of Debt—don’t expect to dump debt on a potential spouse; and 5. Go (back) to church—hang out in the right place (172). Remember the mirror mentioned earlier? You cannot change someone else but you can work on becoming someone they might actually want to get to know. This is not a preachy book, but it is an in-your-face book. Although my wife, Maryam, and I have been married for 30 years, I was already 30 when I got married. This implies that I was single for a long time. Reading Stanley’s book back then would have saved me a lot of pain. Go for it. Read it. Take it seriously. Save yourself a lot of pain. [1] Stanley writes: “ever purchase something from a big box retailer and open the box to find a card that reads something along these lines? If this product is defective or a piece is missing, do not return to the place of purchase. Instead, contact us at 1-800-ITS-YOUR-FAULT.” (59) [2] The leading cause of suicide among young people is a broken relationship.

Great source of information, understanding, patience, and guidance. This book is appropriate for all ages and all stages of life. You won’t be disappointed if you take the time to work on yourself and become the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.

I LOVED THIS BOOK! Whew. Okay. Just had to say that quick a second. But for real. I've never read anything by Andy Stanley (until this, and I most certainly will check out his other stuff soon!). The real reason I picked up this book was because I thought "Nice! I like that cover design! A lot! Super catchy cover..." and then I was like "Yeah, okay. I'll read that." Figured it might help me out with this whole Drew-likes-this-girl crazy random happenstance that popped up in my life about 2 months ago... and is becoming official soon. Woop woop! This book was extremely readable. Stanley has a neat way with word that I found super engaging, fresh, and graspable. The content was STELLAR. I'm a pretty traditional guy when it comes to dating and all that jazz, and Stanley did an EXCELLENT job crafting all the thoughts and feelings I have about what I ought to be doing/being in a relationship. No spoilers here - PICK UP THIS BOOK! Especially if you're a dude (Seriously, check out chapters 6 and 7). But if you're not a dude, this is also a great book for you too! Stanley describes a really practical, really wise way of going about making your relationship as successful as possible. Another thing, he doesn't hold back any punches. He disclaimers this a lot - necessary or not - I do feel that his candid demeanor was spot on. He spells it out clearly, all the while giving an incredibly convicting call to action for both guys and girls. Get ready to be called out on the carpet. It's good. Really really good. This book was heavy on the topic of sex. And for that I was glad. It was a really refreshing, well-needed perspective to hear. All that to say. This book was such a great resource, for me. I will be passing it along to just about everyone I know. And because pretty much everyone I know knows I read like a million books every year, that when I rave about one, it usually means it's extra special.... AKA... they will read it because I'm that friend that forces my friends to do things and then they later come back around and say "Yeah man, you were right. I needed that! And it was awesome." And then I'm like "Yep." And then they're like "Yep." BUY THIS BOOOOOK and then be AWESOME about how you do relationships!

Incredible approach to a sensitive topic. I appreciate Andrew's honesty, sincerity and "make it plain" delivery of God's intention and heart for relationship. The no holds barred discussion on sex is moving and effective for readers who truly want to make significant change in their life. Amen!

Beginning to date again after long years of marriage in today's culture can lead to much heartbreak. This book is a must read to avoid making those mistakes and explains the importance of the relationship and sex from a Christian view. I highly recommend it to all Christian widows.

I am a hopeless romantic. Their is nothing I want more in life then to find “the one”. Lets just say ive hit a few bumps in the road and this book is helping me put things into perspective. Most of the stuff the author mentions are all things we know in our subconscious but most dont put into play. This book reinforced my values and is encouraging me to keep trying. Just be be a little more intentional and patient.

I'm a grown (divorced) man and watched Pastor Andy Stanley's sermons based on this book, then I bought the book and read it. My intention was to see if it addressed the many mistakes my friends and I made, and to see it it was good enough to give to younger friends and family members. Having never received "the talk," I feel this short, easy-to-read book provides far more information in a clear, concise, no-nonsense format than any ten minute talk my father could have given me. The life principles Andy teaches are brilliant in their simplicity. The book has Christian overtones, but the information can be applied in anyone's life regardless of religious beliefs and age. I would highly recommend buying this book for your kids when they are junior high school age or more. Ideally, the children and parent(s) should both read it and discuss it. Some of the concepts require a little more maturity to understand, so the children should simply put the book on a shelf and read it (and discuss it) once a year until they understand the information. This book is also excellent for older single and divorced men and women, who have made some relationship mistakes, want a fresh start, and wish to avoid making as many relationship mistakes as possible. I highly recommend this book. It can change your life and save you or your children from making some fairly basic and completely avoidable relationship mistakes.

My therapist recommended this book to me... no she actually gave me “homework” and told me I had to read it. I was reluctant, not only because I don’t like being told what to do, but because in the last three years I’ve bought at least a dozen non-fiction books and I’ve only finished one (which took a year). Suffice it to say, I really don’t enjoy non-fiction. However, after a very hard sell from my therapist. I decided to spend $12 on Amazon and check it out. I’m very glad I did. This book has a lot of interesting information about love and relationships. It addresses some myths that we grow to believe because of modern day media and society and posits a very bold challenge in the end. It’s written by a pastor and does pull points from the Bible in later chapters. But honestly if you aren’t religious, just read the first few chapters and it’ll still be worth it to you. My two favorite quotes from this book: “You cannot change other people. You cannot did them.” “People change when they decide to change.”

The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating should be the handbook for parents and middle schoolers to talk about all three subjects and more! If you have a middle schooler (high schooler, college student, kid in their 30's still living in the basement), you should pay them well to read a chapter a week and then sit down with you to discuss what they learned, how they will apply it to their life and allow them to ask questions. If "the talk" was nothing more than a 10-15 minute awkward conversation or worse, a one hour class at middle school with the health teacher...get this book. Read this book. And then pay your kids to read it and help them to become the person the person they're looking for is looking for!

Great writing. Expect nothing else from Andy Stanley.

The information in this book changed the way I approach dating. Although this information would seem to be geared towards a younger audience, I found it to be extremely beneficial for this 45 year old divorcee.

An amazing book. There were a lot of truths in here that I needed to open my eyes to. Many people may be quick to brush it off but its a very convicting journey into self awareness. I had the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life and I was about to mess it up by rushing into things and not being the man that I needed to be for her. I'm extremely thankful for Andy Stanley and for the truth that he is trying to speak into our hearts. Go into this with an open mind and heart and you will find everything you are looking for and more I promise. It may save a marriage or at the very least save you from hurting yourself or others by searching for something you are not yet ready for. I hope and pray it wasn't too late to salvage my relationship. Only time with tell... "and now these things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love. "

Andy Stanley makes a lot of points that force the reader to evaluate where they stand and why in regards to relationships and love. I was glad I purchased this book instead of borrowing it from the library because I marked it up with highlighter and notes in the margins that I still look back on months later. "You were created for more than guarded relationships and 'I will as long as you will' love" (pg 68). "You either believe the best or suspect the worst. It's a choice" (pg 96). and "Ladies, this is the year to stop allowing yourselves to be treated like commodities. Develop a high intolerance for anything but respect" (pg 174). I wrote a huge "YAS!" in the margins next to that last one. Buy or borrow the book, you won't regret giving it a read.

A pastor he may be, but he doesn't write like any other pastor you've read before. This book cuts to the heart, and tells your situation exactly like it is. I am convinced that this is a must read for anyone who has had, will have, or is in a relationship.

Wish I read this 15 years ago! Such a great book. Highly recommend I will pass this down to my future kids as well

This book was pretty life changing. I read it with a friend of mine. We didn't have a formal discussion group, but we did chat about it a ton as we read through it. It was funny, truthful, hard and solid. I appreciate when someone doesn't sugar coat the topic. Like, love, sex and dating are all really tough to deal with as Christians. Andy Stanley doesn't insert strictly his opinions. He really speaks truth from the Bible to discuss these really uncomfortable and tough topics. I would loan it out to people, but I underlined and wrote things in there I'd be embarrassed to have others read just because he managed to really speak to me and my life.

Practical, truthful, in your face... Exactly what we need and people are looking for in 2016. People have been lied to at worst when it comes to sex and its meaning and at best Christians, churches, well meaning people, have for years tried to get people to stop having sex outside committed relationships, committed for life, by telling them you might get an STD or worse, pregnant. While these things may happen, the real reason we shouldn't have sex with anyone except the one person we commit to spending our life with is because sex is designed by God to make 2 people 1. That's right, something happens that cannot be undone, sex isn't just physical, sex affects our soul. Get it, read it, share it. It might help some to avoid the impending, non-reversible damage that comes with uncommitted sex.

I was ready to write Andy to prove him wrong when I got this book, but after reading it I can’t. I don’t see eye to eye with him on everything. I do agree with him on almost everything. I’m a 30 year old man and I am glad I read this book. Highly recommend for anyone having trouble with a relationship today. Wish I would have finished it before my last relationship.

Great book. Easy read, and very insightful.

Why wouldn't you read a book by Andy Stanley that gives great advice and helps clear your head of things you've been wondering about dating?!. We read this in a group study, watched the video and then discussed ... it was good insight into both men and women's wrestling of today's dating platform. My 'fav' quote is now: "Are you the person you are looking for is looking for?" Great gauge to prepare yourself before or while you are looking to meet that person.

I bought 3 copies. One for my single roommate, one for a girl that I was starting to date, and one for myself. My roommate loves it so far. I got to chapter 5 and stopped so I can read it at the same time as the girl I bought it for. The girl I'm dating read the whole book in one day. She said that she couldn't put it down. We plan on doing the book study provided in the back of the book together. But now I need to catch up and finish the book! I'd say if you're looking for guidance on this issue than you should buy this book. It's an easy read packed with lots of wisdom.

This book was a good read. Very biblical but not too preachy for non church goers. The best part of this book is throwing out the myth of finding the right person. To focus on yourself and become the person you are looking for is looking for. I do like the concept of the year off of dating and relationships to being clarity to your life. Great read for a newly break up

This is an excellent book, with great insights into what goes wrong with relationships. Wish I had read this before I spent the last seven years with a wife with no understanding of commitment, or giving. With this book, I was able to see that my past relationships have all been doomed, because I didn't see my love addicted codependency with closet narcissistic personalities. Now I have the chance to work on my own issues, and hope one day, to attract a truly healthy relationship. I just need to do what he suggests, and become the person who the person I'm looking for is looking for. One of the best books I've ever read on relationships, if not the BEST! Thanks for sharing the info on the love, Andy!

This book is AMAZING!! If you're serious about doing relationships the way God intended, this book really is required reading. This book doesn't just give you the "what" in terms of God's standard for dating and marriage, but the "why" and the "how". Whether you're a teenager, a young adult, mature divorcee or a never married older single, this book will speak to you and give you the answers you've been looking for. I can't recommend it highly enough! REVOLUTIONARY!

This book provides many identifying points that provoke the reader to evaluate where they stand in a relationship and love. It helps to identify why you need or want to be in a relationship and how to improve to be better part of a healthy relationship. The skills and concepts discussed will help you to improve in being a better parent, friend, and partner.

This is a fantastic book. I read it because I wanted to then give it to my 21 year old and 19 year old. I've taught them so many of these principles as they were growing up. One that I assumed they would just naturally understand is probably the most important. Become the person the person you are looking for is looking for. Amazing advice. I loved this book because it's logical and down to earth. It's very witty and a fast read. It isn't preachy yet Christ is represented. I would recommend this to any age person who is entering the dating arena and would like to come out whole and with their integrity and soul intact.

I’m glad that I read this book. Like any man, I have battled my own temptations and used my own mind to defeat them. Growing up, my father was not around to tell me the bare essentials about love, dating, and sex. I used my surroundings and culture to help influence my intake on intimacy. I appreciate how Pastor Stanley used the word of God to tackle tough issues. Even if you are not religious this book makes you self-critique your stance on relationships. Like me, you may not agree with every suggestion that Pastor Stanley makes, but don’t make that the reason you stifle your reading. As cliché as it sounds, take from the book what you can! Use the book as a tool to dig deep and find out what you are lacking in your relationship pursuit . Use this book as a device to decide the steps that need to be taken in order for you to be the person you are looking for is looking for.

Great, great book in many ways, like most of Andy Stanley's teaching. I don't know how many stars it deserves because it gave out some invaluable advice. But I don't think it quite lived up to much of what it seemed to promise. Maybe I am missing something about the whole purpose of the book. But this book didn't seem to help me get any closer to having a relationship. And I am not alone. I know there are many Christian guys who seek to love God, serve in their church and live lives of integrity, but we can't get a date to happen. Telling them become a better Christian and live a life of integrity is frustrating as we see individuals get into seemingly successful relationships and marriages and they don't seem to be much more concerned with integrity than we are.

I use this book with my therapy clients. It is an insightful tool to help people understand why their relationships are ending in pain. It offers a thoughtful description of what marriage. The book is a Christian text that’s written to be assessable to anyone. Andy Stanley is one of my favorites. I have recommend the book to those having dating/relationship issues. I always hear back, “I wish I had read that book in my 20’s.”

Excellent book whether you're married or single, younger or older. Full of practical advice, Stanley has a funny style of writing (you can practically hear him talking out of the page!) that points out the errors we make in our modern society when it comes to matters of the heart and long-time commitment. Dating, marriage, love, sex are not things that happen to us but actions we take after we make decisions. And the most important action and decision is to choose to become first the person who fits with the person you most want to be with. The book is an easy read.

Must Read! This is definitely not the typical religious book that condemns you to hell or tells you not to do things just because God says so. It’s worth the time and the reading.

I'm a sixty year old married guy. I wish I had been given this book when I was in Jr. High school. I talk with young people all the time. I can't believe how few young people have ANY adult mentor with whom to discuss things such as relationships, sex, and dating. If you are a parent or a grand parent I would highly recommend that buy a stack of this book and give it to each of your children and grand children beginning in the young teens through whatever age they are.

My new fave book I’m going to recommend to everyone! Such a fast great read! It was hard to put down! I highlighted so many parts! I highly recommend this and will be referring to it often! xo..elle

I love your books . My ex passed away and I've bought several of your books to re-learn how to love the right way and be loved . It's difficult starting over but I deserve love and so does my two year old daughter . You're books are putting life into perspective . When I'm ready to get back out there ... know that you've helped me . Thank you .

Best advice ever heard! This is infinitely better than any sex ed class you ever saw in high school. If you want your next relationship to be successful, this is your guide. Everything you ever needed to know about relationships that your parents never told you. Your choice is to learn from the wisdom of the wise, or suffer heartache from continuing in ignorance and following the tired old quest for the "Right Person". Andy teaches how to become the "Right Person" !

Lessons many of us have to learn the slow and hard way if we're ever fortunate enough to learn them. Some never do and just suffer the consequences. Things that were never explained to me by parents friends or the church. This book puts it all in perspective so we can understand the why's and then we can make real change quickly. If this could be required reading freshmen year we would avoid a lot of pain, heartache and wasted time. If only.

Great Book, bought the book because it was recommended by guest speakers at my campus ministry. I would highly recommend this book for young adults, who are interested in building long term and lasting relationships.

I got this book because the pastor of Hope City Church in Houston, TX recommended it. Having a daughter who has recently gone through a divorce has left me floundering for answers about why it happened. This book is one of the best I have ever read about finding the kind of relationships God intends for us to have and the warning signs of ill fated ones. Well done, Andy Stanley!

I purchased this book to discuss in my connect group at church weekly. We all learned a lot from this book. I will continue to use it to spread better knowledge on dating.

Easy to read and if you read it with an open mind really forces you to take a look at yourself. It's a good book for those who are just coming of dating age, those who have been divorced or through failed relationships and I would even go so far as to say it's also good for the married couple.

Ah where has this book been last few years of my life!!?? If you are in your late 20s this book is a must read. My mentor suggested I read this and take 12months off of dating and such but just focus on becoming the best version of me. This book definitely inspires you to become not perfect but what you're looking for. No ones perfect but everyone is capable of becoming better. MUST READ!!!!!!

Haven't finished the book yet but I really like it. It's realistic and he doesn't push religion on the reader. A+

Unbelievably right on target! I can attest to it all being 54 years old so recommending to my son's so they can divorce proof their marriages unlike mine to their father. Such wisdom and the clarity he speaks about is imperative to any age of dating I know! Thank you so much Andy for writing this book for us.

Andy hit it on the head again...good, practical advice for this sex starved world. This book applies to just about everyone, so pick it up today!

All people need to read this book about relationships and about dating. I have read this book and am going to read this again. Andy is spot on the money with his views. Women need to read this book a.s.a.p. It sure changed my views on relationships and meeting women and marriage. Learned alot.

As the wife of a youth pastor in a local community church, I highly recommend this book for all teenagers and single adults to read. Andy has very compelling arguments for his statements. Its a quick, easy read and will get you thinking about why you are dating, if you should be dating who you are dating, and what you should allow yourself to do while dating. If I had a teenager, I would pay him/her to read it. :)

Good book. Very practical but like all books that inspire, it takes action on the readers part! But in the case of this book, sense it is biblically based, Andy brings scripture into our daily living even in the case of finding the mate God has for us.

Loved this book. It makes you really think about your values and going into a new relationship clean, rejuvenated and makes you come to terms with your past relationships so you don’t bring old nonsense into the a fresh start. Great read and highly recommend if you’re looking for this kind of read.

Thanks to years of experience in the pastoral ministry, Andy Stanley brings a culturally relevant message in his new book. As a 19 year old who has been seeking guidance on topics pertaining to dating & marriage, I can only recommend this book to people my age interested in the topic. I think what is a really good quality of this book is that Andy Stanley delivers his message in a way that you get a feeling he is just sitting accross the table while having coffee with you.

This book came to my life just about a year before I met my husband. It got rooted in my heart, I have gifted it to my friends and can’t stress enough the importance of reading it. I thank God for Andy writing this book. EVERYONE single, dating, married and even divorced MUST read it.

Not just for single people, but everyone should read this book on love, sex and dating. Andy Stanley is very insightful and thought provoking. Based on scripture but with modern examples, he will make you laugh out loud while reading his book. It demonstrates the importance of understanding what "love" really is and not the "hollywood" version. I recommend this book especially for college and high school students. I also recommend the videos on northpoint.org on the same subject.

Every person that wants a spouse or has a spouse should read this. Andy Stanley makes this fun and easy to relate to. I've had my kids (16 & 18 boys) read this book. It has as much to do with dating as it has to do with relationships. We've found this to be just as insightful for marriages as dating.

Good book for old and young people. Really gives you some things to think about. My son's both have said it is hard to find one worth marrying. Lots of women to have fun with. After reading this book I think maybe the themselves might need to evaluate whether they are the person who the person they are looking for is for.

Great read !! I had a number of people recommend it to me and I’m glad I read it.

Unbelievably insightful! One of the best books I’ve ever read. It would be helpful for anyone who’s married or dating or wanting to date.

I was clearly not the target audience for this book. I'm engaged, and my fiancee and I are still intentional about dating. This book offered good advice, but I thought it was going to be more about how to love, date, and eventually incorporate sex into a marriage relationship. This book was aimed at people living together or sleeping together before marriage and encourages them to change their behavior. I agree with those principles, but I think there is a better way to approach the topic OR to make it relevant to a wider audience.

Wow, I've had a rough past with sexual immorality and I was raised in a "Christian " home but my parents never explained to me what this books has opened my eyes too. Unfortunately I have had to learn some things the hard way, I wish I would have read this book as a teenager, and saved me a bunch of heart ache and being a single mom.

I wish I'd had this book in my early years of dating. I've really learned a lot about the mistakes I've made in the dating field. I recommend this book for anyone searching for a real, wholesome, godly relationship.

Great read! Andy gives it to you straight, no beating around the bush. Accosts in a positive way to improve dating life by becoming the right person rather than searching for the right one.

Great reading on the purpose of intimacy and what it means. Christian perspective showing how Jesus elevated the status of women and showing why biblical instructions rule. One of the best books on relationships I've read. My peers all had raised eyebrows when they saw me carrying it around. I purchased several copies for them!!! lol

Thank you God for Andy Stanley and for this book. The message in this book is powerful. It's a message I have needed to hear, read, and put into practice. I recommend it.

Devoured this book. Relief and the feeling that comes from knowing God is at work. I may be past my prime, following a sad story with a better one, because with God, all things are possible. I intend to take the one year commitment. Thank you Andy for this book!

Relationships are problematic, but not unique. The book underscores the problems, possible reasons, and offers solutions to common relationship problems. The biggest takeaways are: myth of the right person, designer sex, and that it's never too late to change. I would recommend watchinf Andy's videos to see if you would like the book as he highlights the issues presented in the book.

I enjoyed his perspective. He shed a new light on the commonly overlooked issues of relationships and how the peoples downfalls effects the relationship as a whole.

Helpful. Its a jungle out there

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. His writing is fresh and clear. I had my sisters read it and even gave it to my boyfriend. It’s a great advice book and a great spiritual book.

Very informative in preparation for a long term, possible marriage relationship.

I thought I had a good perspective on this topic, but my eyes have been opened wider and I have more respect for the person I hope to become!

A book for everyone who wants a relationship that will work. Doesn't matter if you are 18 or single and looking at a much later age. Andy Stanley is an amazing teacher, filled with wisdom and clarity.Bought the book for my young-adult grandkids, with their parents' permission.

Sent this to my daughter in college and she said - why did you send this to me?? After reading it she texted me last night that she loved it and it was exactly what she needed right now. I'm a big Andy Stanley fan and so happy I sent it to her!

I think EVERY teenager should read this BEFORE they go into the dating scene! I think EVERY person should read it! such GREAT insight and a much better way to approach life and relationships! Putting the focus on what you are doing takes away the pressure of finding that person right now! GREAT read! MUST own book!

This is a wonderful and inspirational book on love in s general sense and specifically about intimacy with God, yourself and then the "person you are looking for". This is a good read for married and single people. I have purchased 5 books and given to nieces, co-workers and friends. A must read for all in the dating world.

Amazing book!!! It has changed my life and I look at it, as a lifetime reminder of good practices to be a better person for that person I am preparing for!! I uses a lot of logical things and strengthen them with bible verses... just one of my favorite books of all times.

Obvious advise that is still helpful to hear from a Christian 3rd party perspective (assuming you want advise on how to find a spouse for a long-term till-death-do-you-part marriage).

Waaaoooohhhh, this is a "MEGA MUST READ" for older teenagers, singles of all categories, and even for the married, no matter how long the`'ve been married. Everyone of us will have something good to learn from this masterpiece. Thank you Ps Andy Stanley

Absolutely love this book. I've read a handful of books on the subject of living out your faith and Christianity in dating, and this one is now one of my favorites. I would recommend to anyone--regardless of your past and your relationship experiences (or lack thereof), this book has something to offer. Thankful for Christian authors who don't sugarcoat things, particularly the tough topics. Great read.

Great read overall. Really enjoyed it. The different facet of dating that he brought up is very refreshing and definitely different than what we get expose to in our culture. Although, as the author mentioned a couple of times in the book, this may not be for everyone and I can see how some who read this might be disappointed!

This book gives indispensable advise,"become the person that the person you are looking for would look for" in other words work on yourself first. Great for people who are dissatisfied with their current dating life.

Wonderful book whether you’re single, dating, or even married. Instead of finding the “right person,” work on becoming the right person. Highly recommend!

The best book on dating I have ever read. I can count about 10 people who I referred this book to and they have all said the same thing. You do NOT have to even be a Christian to read this - it's truly geared towards every single person out there.

This is THE best teaching on sex and dating. A must for teens and older. I use it for purity teaching to the women i minister to. Andy is funny and relatable and relevant.

If I could give it more stars, I so would. This book was amazing and a must read for anyone at any age (14 and older). Andy provides such practical insight. I couldn't put it down. If you're on the fence about whether to read/buy, GO FOR IT!! You won't regret it.

Great information by one of my favorite people. No revelations written here but some good reassuring confirmations your making some good choices and decisions. Recommend for inspiration or any young person in their teens.

For anyone! Whether you are in a relationship or not. You will be changed by this book. If you don't want to be transformed with new thinking, don't read this book!

It was a very helpful book although there was A lot of repetition, but I'm guessing that's how he drills us to remember his point. This book is worth your time. Invest in your future.

Excellent book that gives insight that I never really thought about before. And the great breakdown on LOVE and what it means in so many ways. I recommend it to anyone that WANTS there new or old relationship, whether your dating or maybe a newlywed couple. Regardless, both parties need to read it together, I bought myself n my fiancee one.

Great guidance for single people on how to get ready for a love relationship. Super useful way of getting the christian perspective of love relationships, very well written and explained with citation from the Bible.

If you have lived or are living the way the world teaches and you truly want to change this book will help you. Lots of the content is painful to read if you regret the way you have lived but there is hope. If you want too change your life this book is a good place to start.

I loved reading this book by Andy Stanley about dating. So many good insights on dating and understanding the opposite sex. A must read for anyone dating in today's world.

The video presentations were very good. Many great points were made concerning the topic and in a Biblical way. This would be so good for high school and college ages to consider.

Love this book! Very interactive and informative. Sheds light on the hope for successful relationships and gets real on topics that the church is often reluctant to speak on! I loved it and my boyfriend is now reading it!

This book was a wonderful read. I would recommend it for anyone who wants to be a better "You". I can't see how none would not be able to find at least several items in this book that reflect upon their lives past and present. Excellent read. Loved the book!

Amazing book with extremely helpful advice. Good read.

If you are single, in a relationship, married, or divorced, this book is for you. It can teach everyone something about relationships and how to truly build a healthy one. Don't think this book is just for adults, it also has many valuable lessons for teens too!

Easy to understand. Andy Stanley is an anointed writer, author, pastor. Every book I've read written by him, there is always something profound to take away from. Thank you.

Pointed and helpful as a parent. GREAT reading for teens to impact and preserve themselves in the culture that surrounds us.

This book rocked my world. Andy truly diggs deep into the places you don't want to go when you're faced with dealing with your past and the effects it's having on your present! He is honest, but loving. Definitely recommend this book to anyone who is single and struggling to understand why.

Excellent book bought one for my 19 year old granddaughter, the sex part is a very compelling case of why premarital sex is just not good for your relationship, I have recommended it to many friends

This series is only the shortened version. It doesn’t have the longer sermons on it

Good for anyone dating al any age. The idea to take a year off, might be too much for some, but most other ideas in the book should be relatable to all.

Great read, very insightful. Would like to have read more practical details on filling the void between dating and marriage.

This book puts dating and marriage into perspective. It illustrates how love and relationships should be taken way more seriously then we currently do.

I appreciate the way Andy wrote this book. It's a book that non Christians can relate to as well. The best read for when was how he broke down 1 Corinthians and explained it in a way that I can understand what's required of me when I say those important words.

Not just for those dating, I think the ideas of how to treat each other is good for anyone single or married to read.

Loved this book and would highly recommend for anyone who has never been married, along with ones who have been married and divorced. Very good insights on where to begin in a new relationship without making the same, or even worse mistakes. Great read!

Would highly recommend to any one looking to enter the dating world.

I'm married and have children. I pray I never have to use any new rules for dating! But as a dad it's great to read as preparation for "the talk" I'll have with my children.

Super book filled with practical truth in a receivable way. My college age son devoured it and has loaned it out to friends, who have loaned it out to their friends!

Love this book. It inspires everyone to take accountability for themselves and improve their own lives.

Short book but great advise. Wish there were more references to scripture but he did preface saying it was more about his observations workings with people. A must read for dating. Evan if your not religious.

Wonderful book. Whether your a young single or divorced after 35 years -you need to read this book. And especially read it if you are considering a serious relationship with someone or marriage.

I am about half way through this book and its great. Andy Stanley is honest with you in this book. Must read!

By far, the best Christian book on love, sex, and dating that I have read to date. The author tackles some big issues and questions in a straight-forward, no-nonsense manner, giving the reader plenty of material for self-reflection and a pathway for the journey moving forward.

Please buy this for every child that is on the verge of dating or is dating - no matter their age! Andy gives insights that no one else can! You want your child to read this! Save them so much heartache!

Andy's words are engaging and scary in a world so bent by our alienation from God and one another. A must read for all teens and young adults. As a pediatrician I would love to give this book to all the teens I see.

A must read for people dating or married couples. A great reminder of what love is and an exceptional book for your older children to read to help them avoid mistakes in picking a partner.

Bought for my daughter. I choose it because when I read about it and the author I thought it would be a great book

Very eye opening and truthfull. Interesting, inspiring, and thought consuming. I would recommend this to young people who are confused as to give in to peer pressure and become sexually active.

I highly recommend this book for people of all relationship backgrounds. It will guide and prep individuals for healthy relationships, which are rare nowadays.

It was amazing!!! My boyfriend and I read it during the start of our relationship and I feel so excited about our future!

I decided over a year ago to set myself by these standards before I knew who Andy was, and it was great to have that type of confirmation/affirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Wonderful book, recommended across the board.

This book has really change my point of view toward woman and as well to myself. Learning to be the right person, instead to be looking for the right person is very important for a lasting relationship. Is a must read book!

Great book for anyone dating or for anyone in a marriage for that matter. Andy Stanley gives some very good advice...plan to read some of his other books now. I purchased this for my college student but I read it also.

This is awesome for any age but especially for teens, young adults, and divorced adults. I gave a copy to my kids and Grandkids!

Great book!! Even better challenge to gain a closer relationship with God and direction when it comes to dating and being the best future mate and person you can be.

I recommend this book. It is excellent in addition to the videos Andy Stanley has online.

This was a really good book. A great perspective if nothing else. I suggest anyone looking to improve their current or future relationships with the opposite sex to read this.

This book changed my heart. I am so humbled by what I've learned. I keep reading parts of it over and over again.

Awesome book! I highly recommend it! I wish more young people would read this before getting into a relationship or getting married. Andy Stanley's other books, CD's and DVD's are awesome too!

Incredible book. I've read it twice now. I wish I had this guidance when I was a teenager before I started dating and trying to find a wife.

Every single person should read this book. Has such good fundamental teaching and has you look at yourself and not bypass your own actions. To anyone that is single or dating I highly reccomend you purchase this book.

I loved this book! I have been divorced for 12 years and have struggled with how to date in a way that honors Jesus. Andy pulls no punches and lays out a healthy way to start a romantic relationship.

I don't read and this book was amazing if you are looking to date or just show the respect to the person you are with read this it helped me in my relationship that much

Every male and female should read this book. It offers great guidance and insight. Wish I had this when I was first starting out...Never too late to become a better me.

This book is so insightful and has great points, I'm so glad I bought this book. I recommend this book to any Christian single.

I love listening to Andy Stanley, being able to get one of his books off Amazon makes it so much easier!

There were issues that were discussed directly by this book that you cant read elsewhere. It's helpful and practical. I should say my understanding has deepened.

Anyone in a relationship or seeking one should read this book. Andy Stanley is a wonderful and humorous writer.

The book is even more amazing than his sermon. For every parent or young adult struggling with this decision-- this is an amazing read in the right direction!

Andy Stanely is one of my favorite Christian authors. This is a great book and I highly recommend all of his books.

Difficult issues are handled in an easy-to-read book.. Nothing is sugar coated. However relationship issues are presented without judgement and condemnation, Scripturally based, and infused with humor and humanity.

Really good book and was an eye opener. Gave it to my daughters to read also and they enjoyed it.

Everyone should read this book prior to entering a relationship and even those in a relationship. It is so eye opening. I wish I would've read this earlier. I would've saved myself a lot of heartache.

The most straight-forward advice you'll ever read on love, sex and dating. Buy it, read it, read it again and apply.

Super awesome book. Practical principles. Plus you can even stay connected through Andy's "Your Move" App.

I read this book after the pastor at my church recommended it. Life changing book. Highly recommend it.

Great book but seemed to be more for the college age not the divorced woman.

Great book on relationships from a pastor! Actually talks to people like people and explains the importance of taking dating seriously without being condemning or commanding. Such awesome insight!

Really thought provoking, and as a recent divorcee the guidelines are true for those re-entering the dating scene after marriage. Well written and inspiring! I have taken the one year challenge!

Great book by a wise man. Everybody should read this book. Taking a year off from dating is the best thing anybody who has never intentionally don't that can do.

What an amazing book. I keep buying this book and sending it to my friends. Great read.

This is the most clear and understandable perspective on the truths and myths about sex and dating that I have read to date. A must read for teens and single adults.

Absolutely fantastic. I would recommend this for anyone interested in anything dealing with relationships and how God just might have some direction for us.

Interesting read, makes you think. Great for teens and young adults.

If you have any desire to have a Christian dating experience followed by a Christian marriage that has it's best chance for success... READ THIS BOOK!

Awesome read for new Christians in the dating world. Highly recommend!

Get it, read it, pass it to your friends. Good stuff!

Absolutely fantastic book! I would recommend to all ages and stages of dating or relationships!

This is refreshing and gave me a new perspective for love, sex, dating. Looking forward to be the right one.

Simple book that makes life easy

Seems to be aimed at a young, never married audience.

Such a great resource! My boyfriend and I did this book together and have grown SO much from discussing the topics that were mentioned!

Perfect timing for where I am in my life. Recommending it to my friends, both single and married. All things we know just presented differently.

Had I read this years ago, my life would be different today. It's never to late 92 days to go!!

What an amazing book! Focusing on both the struggles young men and women go through as well as divorced persons.

Very insightful reading. Enjoyed the book and what Andy Stanley had to say on the subject. Very good information to think about.

Great read....keeps the focus on you ., just ordered another book written by Andy Stanley, called "Enemies of the Heart"

Phenomenal book for all single people, would highly recommend!

This book is wonderful! It is challenging you to become a better person so you can actually find that right person.

This is a must for everyone to read. Purchased this copy for a friend and have loaned my copy to another friend.

Fantastic advice! Wish it had been around when I was dating. At least this generation can benefit.....and the next...and the next. Thanks Andy!

Andy Stanley is great! Such a great read and it really puts you in your place!

Life changing. I tell everyone I meet to read it! Wish I had read this in high school! God bless

I wish that I would have read this as a teenager! Great insight to prevent future mistakes!

gave it too older son ..great product

Incredible book.

An amazing book! Thanks Andy Stanley for being bold enough to write this!

It's genuine, to the point and common sense sound advice that everyone could benefit from.

This is a must for all those who want to find fulfilling relationships

Great book. Very helpful. Wonderful insights.

Excellent, practical and a must read for anyone who is dating!

Great book and very relevant!

Really good book. I shared it with young people and got great response and dialogue.