The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I had a really hard time getting into this one. I struggle a lot with feeling inadequate and not being "good enough" for others. I'm not married, don't have children, and it seemed that all she was talking about was mothers who struggle with not being able to do it all. Wasn't a good fit for me at all.

What a trite, badly written, unhelpful book! I can't believe the author has a college degree and is a popular speaker. It's as though a Valley Girl has gotten her hands on 500 self-help books and cobbled them together into one. I could barely read it. If you know that most people in this culture suffer from poor self-esteem and that "self-hatred" seems to be an epidemic, looking at the culture itself might be a better way to go. The Dalai Lama was shocked when Western teachers asked so many questions about poor self esteem and inadequacy, unhappiness and insecurity. It's a particularly Western problem. This author has a major problem with overweening ego which is NOT the same thing as real self-confidence. So much defensiveness, so much self-promotion, so little real insight. This book is a big waste of money and time.

From the fact that she seems to believe that the experience of a middle class white mom is universal to the part where she states something that is just not considered true in the field of psychology, Dr. Brene Brown proves she is absolutely clueless about humanity. This book will do nothing but waste your time reading long-winded, irrelevant anecdotes about Brown's life that read like passages from a failed memoir and then try to convince you that who you are is not your behaviors and choices, despite the fact that the field of psychology supports the idea that who you are informs your behaviors and choices and therefore who you are is defined by them. This rhetoric she teaches leads to extremely dangerous thought processes and consequences like people not holding themselves or others accountable for their actions because "their actions aren't who they are" and why should they apologize or correct a behavior that doesn't define them. Do not buy this book. Buy an actual workbook designed for mental health purposes.

Let me begin by stating where I was coming from, when I picked this book up. I've spent 11 years in the Army and done quite a few combat deployments. Moreover, I had recently been dumped in my 'perfect' engagement by my fiancee who had been cheating on me with a male coworker. So, this 'emotional' genre of reading isn't usually my thing and my sense of worthiness was very injured. I initially avoided this book out of concern that it was one of many under-evidenced self-help titles. Changing my mind on reading this was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made and I am a much better person for it. I don't guarantee very much, due to my skeptical nature; but, I think I can guarantee that something in this book will profoundly change you. Perhaps this was done by Dr. Brown's approach of confronting the 'things that stand in our way' of leading a 'wholehearted life'. This is important because thoughtful people need to confront these things in order to overcome them and develop not just a positive mindset; but, a *realistic* one that doesn't ignore the potentially negative cognitions that arise. Some of my PROs and CONs follow. But, allow me to be clear: if you have just been dumped, divorced, or experienced a break-up, then I think this is a great book for you. Some other titles like to do half-baked analysis of what happened between you two. Some of those books are like your own, highly-biased pep talker ("she was all wrong for you", "you're better off, now", etc.). While well-meaning, this can weaken you going forward. They sacrifice truth and accuracy for 'feel-good' support. Much has already been said about this book, so I've avoided a super thorough review. PROs -well-organized content. topics overlap somewhat (of course), but they are introduced in the form of very manageable daily 'guideposts'. -content is qualitative research-based. I think this is the right approach, since qualitative research is well-suited to derive meaning from the experiences of people. -writing style is down-to-earth, clear, and very humorous at times. -the book is relatively inexpensive. -the approach of tackling 'obstacles' of thinking that prevent wholehearted living. -realistic expectations of the results of reading this book. -comprehensive treatment of the elements of wholehearted living. -the persuasiveness of pretty much every guidepost. CONs -for the uninitiated (read: myself), I thought that guidepost 8 wasn't as clear in defining the concept of stillness. -umm.. I'll have to get back to you on this one. I would like to conclude with a few things that convince me that something in this book has made profound changes. First, I grew-up with a very domineering father and reading this book has made me truly comfortable with him for the first time in my life. Second, I NEVER danced at a bar without having some 'liquid courage' to prime me. After reading, I danced several songs (badly, of course ;-) ) and truly enjoyed myself. Third, because of my balding, etc. I always felt a little too self-conscious to dare flirting with some very beautiful ladies that I've met. Not any more. These are just a few thoughts, but I hope that they speak to someone out there.

...whatever that means. If she practiced what the subtitle says, "Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are," rather than droning on about her momentous speaking appearances and her "struggles" with how to define Shame, she would be a far more interesting writer. Her lack of connection to the real world is also exemplified by her style of writing--as some other reviewer said, there may not be another book written that contains more "I's" than this one little book. If you, a friend or a family member are suffering from anxiety of some sort, any self-help book by Claire Weekes is infinitely more helpful than this book.

I read "Daring Greatly" about 6 months ago after watching Dr. Brown's TED talks and that book honest to goodness changed my life. I was excited to read this one, particularly because I found her discussion of perfectionism so helpful in Daring Greatly. I have to admit that as much as I still admire Brene Brown, I found this to be a watered down version of Daring Greatly and I kind of regret buying it (I don't regret READING it, but I do regret paying for it, and I don't feel that this improves my library). I found this was a little shallow and abstract, whereas Daring Greatly so eloquently and articulately put words to ideas we understand intuitively, and it really enhanced my emotional vocabulary. This book offered little in that respect. Some of it (shame vs guilt, for example) was redundant of Daring Greatly (and other texts for that matter) and her discussion of ideas like intuition, spirituality, and numbing were vague and unhelpful to me. She was mostly quoting other people's definitions and discussion of these topics, and while some the quotes were thought-provoking, I didn't feel that it really enlightened me. Her examples were also not as compelling in this text. It was mostly about her, and while some of the examples were useful and memorable, I came away feeling like she was painting a picture of her family rather than focusing on her research and data. Daring Greatly, on the other hand, was written in such an empathetic and compassionate way that I kept saying, "YES! That's me! She understands!" or "Wow! That's totally my brother-in-law!" It was like one light bulb after another going off. Reading Daring Greatly was so inspiring and healing. This book didn't have that same level of empathy and was missing that universal quality, focusing instead on examples that were auto-biographical. Some other reviewers said this read like a blog, and I have to agree. By the end of this book I didn't feel UNDERSTOOD like I did after reading Daring Greatly. I honestly felt that as I read Daring Greatly, Brene Brown was like looking inside me and having a conversation with me, even though she doesn't even know me. After reading The Gifts of Imperfection, however, I felt that I understood more about her and less about myself. There was also something a little kitschy about this. She had a section after each chapter called DIG deep where she listed ways that she tries to employ these strategies, and she often said "Amen" at the end of some quotes. While cute, it lacked the maturity and empathy of Daring Greatly. She was also a little judgmental in this book (towards others and towards herself) and I could ironically see her striving for perfectionism (like in order to be perfect she needs to become "wholehearted," so she is actively working to employ these strategies rather than actually embodying them). It is almost like by the time she got to Daring Greatly she was fully reborn and had reached that full enlightenment, and she was still working on getting there in this text. Additionally, unlike Daring Greatly, this reads a little bit like a checklist (see comment above) of things you should do: 1. don't be a perfectionist 2. Get creative 3. Rest and play 4. But don't numb 5. Dance like no one is watching you 6. practice self-compassion 7. Have faith. By the end I felt like I was being told what to do to be happy, as if it was a formula. While some of the advice was certainly helpful, it wasn't inspiring in the same way Daring Greatly was. Daring Greatly got at the heart of one's emotions. It talked about courage, authenticity, compassion (true ideals) and it showed how there is extraordinary in the ordinary. The Gifts of Imperfection seemed to get sidetracked by specifics (dancing, jewelry making, her childhood house in New Orleans) and it never reached that universality that was so healing in Daring Greatly. Lastly, this book was highly referential. As I said earlier, she quotes a lot of other people to get at defining abstract terms. She also references the work of many other psychologists, researchers, etc. For example, Kristin Neff and Marci Alboher. It isn't that I didn't appreciated her references, but this felt blog-like again: "Hey I read this and I LOVED this idea, check it out!" Or "this quote inspires me! Let me share." In contrast, it felt like Brene Brown had found her own voice in Daring Greatly, and no longer needed to continually reference others' work and could just share her research and the conclusions she reached from it. All in all, while The Gifts of Imperfection was a nice book that offered a little refresher of Brown's understanding of "wholehearted living" with some ideas about intuition and faith, creativity, and song and dance, it was not as sophisticated or inspiring as her latest book Daring Greatly, which really felt like a true culmination of her research and experiences. I'd skip this one; or at least just borrow it from the library...

Mrs. Brown is truly a story teller. I woke up at 2 am not feeling well from a cold, but emotionally is where I felt the worst. A few days of passing and I had enough of this feeling of self doubt. I may have quit if it was just pure research, but her countless stories of her own struggles were so easy to identify with. I'm just thankful I'm sick so my roommates couldn't hear a grown man's sniffling. I'm really kidding, I don't actually mind telling people I cry. Just thought it would be funny to include a piece on shame. For years I've used healing others in order to prove my own worth. I've dated purely in a way that I must help and heal them in order to feel my own place as worthwhile in the relationship. It doesn't allow me to get close because I'm lacking in authenticity and vulnerability. I may have felt that I was showing these people their worth, but really I wasn't showing them love. The part on faith will be hard for me I've always loved certainty and with emotional distant parents I've always held expectations of people leaving me. This book laid bare my struggles and I thank Brene Brown and my wonderful therapist for making it easy to unpack all of this in a digestible manner. Perhaps I'll finally get passed my compassion fatigue and truly love. One day at a time.

Written in a very juvenile pretentious fashion , all about the author herself 😴, simplistic silly fakely dramatic life examples, lacks professionalism , filled with glib preachy statements, a cheap effort on her part which didn’t come across as authentic and certainly didn’t help me at all.

Brené Brown shares so many amazing points but the biggest takeaway I got from "The Gifts of Imperfection" was that we all have something and it's ours. No one else has it. No one else can speak what we can, write what we can or dance the silly way we do. The perfection often lies in our imperfections and willingness to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there. Dance in the crowd that may judge. This book didn't 100% change my life but that's such a lofty achievement. This book planted a seed and with each action I took to water and feed that seed, it grew. As I read other books, I often thought back to this one and drew connections. It was one of the many books that stacked up to create an opening that I ripped open and stepped through.

I had a really hard time getting into this one. I struggle a lot with feeling inadequate and not being "good enough" for others. I'm not married, don't have children, and it seemed that all she was talking about was mothers who struggle with not being able to do it all. Wasn't a good fit for me at all.

What a trite, badly written, unhelpful book! I can't believe the author has a college degree and is a popular speaker. It's as though a Valley Girl has gotten her hands on 500 self-help books and cobbled them together into one. I could barely read it. If you know that most people in this culture suffer from poor self-esteem and that "self-hatred" seems to be an epidemic, looking at the culture itself might be a better way to go. The Dalai Lama was shocked when Western teachers asked so many questions about poor self esteem and inadequacy, unhappiness and insecurity. It's a particularly Western problem. This author has a major problem with overweening ego which is NOT the same thing as real self-confidence. So much defensiveness, so much self-promotion, so little real insight. This book is a big waste of money and time.

From the fact that she seems to believe that the experience of a middle class white mom is universal to the part where she states something that is just not considered true in the field of psychology, Dr. Brene Brown proves she is absolutely clueless about humanity. This book will do nothing but waste your time reading long-winded, irrelevant anecdotes about Brown's life that read like passages from a failed memoir and then try to convince you that who you are is not your behaviors and choices, despite the fact that the field of psychology supports the idea that who you are informs your behaviors and choices and therefore who you are is defined by them. This rhetoric she teaches leads to extremely dangerous thought processes and consequences like people not holding themselves or others accountable for their actions because "their actions aren't who they are" and why should they apologize or correct a behavior that doesn't define them. Do not buy this book. Buy an actual workbook designed for mental health purposes.

Let me begin by stating where I was coming from, when I picked this book up. I've spent 11 years in the Army and done quite a few combat deployments. Moreover, I had recently been dumped in my 'perfect' engagement by my fiancee who had been cheating on me with a male coworker. So, this 'emotional' genre of reading isn't usually my thing and my sense of worthiness was very injured. I initially avoided this book out of concern that it was one of many under-evidenced self-help titles. Changing my mind on reading this was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made and I am a much better person for it. I don't guarantee very much, due to my skeptical nature; but, I think I can guarantee that something in this book will profoundly change you. Perhaps this was done by Dr. Brown's approach of confronting the 'things that stand in our way' of leading a 'wholehearted life'. This is important because thoughtful people need to confront these things in order to overcome them and develop not just a positive mindset; but, a *realistic* one that doesn't ignore the potentially negative cognitions that arise. Some of my PROs and CONs follow. But, allow me to be clear: if you have just been dumped, divorced, or experienced a break-up, then I think this is a great book for you. Some other titles like to do half-baked analysis of what happened between you two. Some of those books are like your own, highly-biased pep talker ("she was all wrong for you", "you're better off, now", etc.). While well-meaning, this can weaken you going forward. They sacrifice truth and accuracy for 'feel-good' support. Much has already been said about this book, so I've avoided a super thorough review. PROs -well-organized content. topics overlap somewhat (of course), but they are introduced in the form of very manageable daily 'guideposts'. -content is qualitative research-based. I think this is the right approach, since qualitative research is well-suited to derive meaning from the experiences of people. -writing style is down-to-earth, clear, and very humorous at times. -the book is relatively inexpensive. -the approach of tackling 'obstacles' of thinking that prevent wholehearted living. -realistic expectations of the results of reading this book. -comprehensive treatment of the elements of wholehearted living. -the persuasiveness of pretty much every guidepost. CONs -for the uninitiated (read: myself), I thought that guidepost 8 wasn't as clear in defining the concept of stillness. -umm.. I'll have to get back to you on this one. I would like to conclude with a few things that convince me that something in this book has made profound changes. First, I grew-up with a very domineering father and reading this book has made me truly comfortable with him for the first time in my life. Second, I NEVER danced at a bar without having some 'liquid courage' to prime me. After reading, I danced several songs (badly, of course ;-) ) and truly enjoyed myself. Third, because of my balding, etc. I always felt a little too self-conscious to dare flirting with some very beautiful ladies that I've met. Not any more. These are just a few thoughts, but I hope that they speak to someone out there.

...whatever that means. If she practiced what the subtitle says, "Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are," rather than droning on about her momentous speaking appearances and her "struggles" with how to define Shame, she would be a far more interesting writer. Her lack of connection to the real world is also exemplified by her style of writing--as some other reviewer said, there may not be another book written that contains more "I's" than this one little book. If you, a friend or a family member are suffering from anxiety of some sort, any self-help book by Claire Weekes is infinitely more helpful than this book.

I read "Daring Greatly" about 6 months ago after watching Dr. Brown's TED talks and that book honest to goodness changed my life. I was excited to read this one, particularly because I found her discussion of perfectionism so helpful in Daring Greatly. I have to admit that as much as I still admire Brene Brown, I found this to be a watered down version of Daring Greatly and I kind of regret buying it (I don't regret READING it, but I do regret paying for it, and I don't feel that this improves my library). I found this was a little shallow and abstract, whereas Daring Greatly so eloquently and articulately put words to ideas we understand intuitively, and it really enhanced my emotional vocabulary. This book offered little in that respect. Some of it (shame vs guilt, for example) was redundant of Daring Greatly (and other texts for that matter) and her discussion of ideas like intuition, spirituality, and numbing were vague and unhelpful to me. She was mostly quoting other people's definitions and discussion of these topics, and while some the quotes were thought-provoking, I didn't feel that it really enlightened me. Her examples were also not as compelling in this text. It was mostly about her, and while some of the examples were useful and memorable, I came away feeling like she was painting a picture of her family rather than focusing on her research and data. Daring Greatly, on the other hand, was written in such an empathetic and compassionate way that I kept saying, "YES! That's me! She understands!" or "Wow! That's totally my brother-in-law!" It was like one light bulb after another going off. Reading Daring Greatly was so inspiring and healing. This book didn't have that same level of empathy and was missing that universal quality, focusing instead on examples that were auto-biographical. Some other reviewers said this read like a blog, and I have to agree. By the end of this book I didn't feel UNDERSTOOD like I did after reading Daring Greatly. I honestly felt that as I read Daring Greatly, Brene Brown was like looking inside me and having a conversation with me, even though she doesn't even know me. After reading The Gifts of Imperfection, however, I felt that I understood more about her and less about myself. There was also something a little kitschy about this. She had a section after each chapter called DIG deep where she listed ways that she tries to employ these strategies, and she often said "Amen" at the end of some quotes. While cute, it lacked the maturity and empathy of Daring Greatly. She was also a little judgmental in this book (towards others and towards herself) and I could ironically see her striving for perfectionism (like in order to be perfect she needs to become "wholehearted," so she is actively working to employ these strategies rather than actually embodying them). It is almost like by the time she got to Daring Greatly she was fully reborn and had reached that full enlightenment, and she was still working on getting there in this text. Additionally, unlike Daring Greatly, this reads a little bit like a checklist (see comment above) of things you should do: 1. don't be a perfectionist 2. Get creative 3. Rest and play 4. But don't numb 5. Dance like no one is watching you 6. practice self-compassion 7. Have faith. By the end I felt like I was being told what to do to be happy, as if it was a formula. While some of the advice was certainly helpful, it wasn't inspiring in the same way Daring Greatly was. Daring Greatly got at the heart of one's emotions. It talked about courage, authenticity, compassion (true ideals) and it showed how there is extraordinary in the ordinary. The Gifts of Imperfection seemed to get sidetracked by specifics (dancing, jewelry making, her childhood house in New Orleans) and it never reached that universality that was so healing in Daring Greatly. Lastly, this book was highly referential. As I said earlier, she quotes a lot of other people to get at defining abstract terms. She also references the work of many other psychologists, researchers, etc. For example, Kristin Neff and Marci Alboher. It isn't that I didn't appreciated her references, but this felt blog-like again: "Hey I read this and I LOVED this idea, check it out!" Or "this quote inspires me! Let me share." In contrast, it felt like Brene Brown had found her own voice in Daring Greatly, and no longer needed to continually reference others' work and could just share her research and the conclusions she reached from it. All in all, while The Gifts of Imperfection was a nice book that offered a little refresher of Brown's understanding of "wholehearted living" with some ideas about intuition and faith, creativity, and song and dance, it was not as sophisticated or inspiring as her latest book Daring Greatly, which really felt like a true culmination of her research and experiences. I'd skip this one; or at least just borrow it from the library...

Mrs. Brown is truly a story teller. I woke up at 2 am not feeling well from a cold, but emotionally is where I felt the worst. A few days of passing and I had enough of this feeling of self doubt. I may have quit if it was just pure research, but her countless stories of her own struggles were so easy to identify with. I'm just thankful I'm sick so my roommates couldn't hear a grown man's sniffling. I'm really kidding, I don't actually mind telling people I cry. Just thought it would be funny to include a piece on shame. For years I've used healing others in order to prove my own worth. I've dated purely in a way that I must help and heal them in order to feel my own place as worthwhile in the relationship. It doesn't allow me to get close because I'm lacking in authenticity and vulnerability. I may have felt that I was showing these people their worth, but really I wasn't showing them love. The part on faith will be hard for me I've always loved certainty and with emotional distant parents I've always held expectations of people leaving me. This book laid bare my struggles and I thank Brene Brown and my wonderful therapist for making it easy to unpack all of this in a digestible manner. Perhaps I'll finally get passed my compassion fatigue and truly love. One day at a time.

Written in a very juvenile pretentious fashion , all about the author herself 😴, simplistic silly fakely dramatic life examples, lacks professionalism , filled with glib preachy statements, a cheap effort on her part which didn’t come across as authentic and certainly didn’t help me at all.

Brené Brown shares so many amazing points but the biggest takeaway I got from "The Gifts of Imperfection" was that we all have something and it's ours. No one else has it. No one else can speak what we can, write what we can or dance the silly way we do. The perfection often lies in our imperfections and willingness to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there. Dance in the crowd that may judge. This book didn't 100% change my life but that's such a lofty achievement. This book planted a seed and with each action I took to water and feed that seed, it grew. As I read other books, I often thought back to this one and drew connections. It was one of the many books that stacked up to create an opening that I ripped open and stepped through.

This book was suggested to me by a therapist, and honestly, this lady comes off as stuck up and self-centered. Couldn't even finish it. I feel like it doesn't "help" at all - no real suggestions - just her own personal life experience. There are way better self-help books out there. Avoid this one.

Brene Brown hits the mark with this book. It was the first book I read of hers and I thought - this is the book I want my mom to read to understand why I am the way I am!! I actually gave my mom my first copy and ordered this 10th anniversary edition as a replacement for myself. The chapter on self-compassion - WHOA. When you grow up with shame every day and have mental health issues - this book is amazing. I'm looking forward to rereading it now that I've gotten help with my issues and can focus without beating myself up (which the book addresses). Highly recommend anything by Brene Brown. This is an excellent first book to read by her.

I had a long day at the doctors office ahead of me and brought this book along to read. I read about 20 pages and to me, it was just a bunch of babbling and I could not get into the book at all. Furthermore, the author talks a lot about herself, which was of no interest to me. My girlfriend is a big fan of Dr. Brown and I bought this book on a recommendation. I didn’t care for it at all and ended up returning it.

I found this book to be so insightful and very eye-opening. After reading several of the negative reviews, it seems people expect this book to be a "magic bullet" to tell you how to fix your life or solve your problems. It's not. It's a book about being a more authentic and true version of yourself and realizing we all have worth and value that isn't based on social media "likes" or posts. It's about looking beyond the surface and realizing our perspective on life and on the world at large is painted through the lens of how we view ourselves and our places in the world. I appreciate the honesty of her own struggle in this book and the examples she gives of times when she felt inadequate and how she reacted to it. I've read the book more than once and always find something different in the message. We've become so clouded in the world today on what is real and what is a fabricated viewpoint. I appreciated this book gives tools on how to be more authentic and realize we all have valuable gifts to provide the world and we need to let go of the unattainable, projected "reality" we often see on social and on TV and aim to be more of who we truly are.

Might be a good resource for others, but not for me. I could list all of the reasons that I find the book completely unrealistic and useless, but in the end, the only benefit it provided was a solid reason to terminate the services of the confused life coach / career coach that recommended the book as "the only way to self improvement." I think not. In my opinion, there are much better more realistic self help resources such as the 2 "Bad Ass" series books by Jen Sincero. I found Jen's "no-nonsense approach" to be a better conduit to assist someone in taking a step back to reflect on where you are now, where do you want to go in life, what's holding you back, and what do you need to change to get there.

I have tried this book a couple of times. Nutshell: Almost every chapter begins with comments about "my research" on shame and courage. Me/I/my. Everything she talks about can be dealt with by practice and is a choice, duh. If I heard the word "Wholeheartedness"one more time I would scream. (Capitalized", no less.) One more example about her or her children would be, well, impossible. If you have never done any serious therapy or read serious books on the psychology of improving one's self and life,if you have lived in a cave forever, there is your standard superficial pop psychology here. Maybe you will be inspired to get some meaningful therapy. Or you can just stand in front of the mirror giving yourself affirmations. Good luck.

I wanted to like this book and had high hopes going in since I've heard so many good things about this author and the reviews are great overall. It was my first Brene Brown book, chosen by another person for a book club. I like the overall idea of her work, diving into shame and self-acceptance/love, but she didn't do well delivering the message. She kept saying "in my research" over and over - I wish I would have counted how many times! It got really annoying. The tone of her stories where she talks about feeling vulnerable didn't feel authentic, they seemed almost arrogant in the end. A little self-promotion in a book is alright, but there was way too much of it in this book. Maybe I started with the wrong Brene book, but I don't recommend this one, that's for sure!

I was expecting much more from the positive reviews. She spends way too much time defining words we already know. Not deep and insightful in any way in my opinion.

This author brings up herself in every other sentence. "In my research as a scientist with legit research skills I found that..." it just annoyed me. I think the overall concepts are good but the way it is presented did not seem to be very helpful, relateable, or genuine.

This book was pretty terrible. I read the reviews, and the information provided about the book so I was under the impression that it was actually good.... this was the wrong impression. The writing is no better than a 9th grade paper.... a decent 9th grade paper I guess. It’s not insightful, actually it starts off as a little comical then become quite irritating. I was excited about the prospects of this book and the insights I could’ve offered but was disappointed.

While on my journey to spiritual awakening and self care- I came across this book through a coworker. She shares sections of it in our weekly meetings (we work in Health Care, so there's a lot of heaviness around the work our team does)... The first time she shared a section from this book, I knew I had to buy it! It was like she knew what was going on in my chaotic mind and was speaking directly to me... Not only has this book helped me learn to sit still and focus on something other than my phone (I've never come across a book that I can sit and read for hours without realizing it) but it's helped me really learn to accept and love myself... I kid you not every time I finish reading a few chapters, I feel a sense of empowerment (in a I have control over my emotions kind of way) and it gives me so much hope for the future and the woman I'm becoming. Dr. Brene Brown is such an amazing woman! She's teaching me so much about courage, vulnerability, dealing with shame, not being so hard on myself, learning to be unapologetically my authentic self- not who I think the world expects me to be & most important of all... I AM ONLY HUMAN... The list can go on and on, this is what I can think of off the top of my head. After losing my sister to suicide, I’ve dealt with anxiety & depression.. sometimes to an extreme where I’d shut down from the world and not talk to anyone for days, sometimes weeks or not leave the house forcing me to call in to work cause what was going on in my mind was so extreme I’d become physically sick.. This book, among many others of Dr. Brown helps me through those times in a healthy way without ever feeling the need to "take the edge off" in unhealthy ways (drinking, smoking, etc..). It’s been almost a year that I’ve been introduced to Brene Brown’s work & I haven’t been the same since.. I’ve learned to feel through my thoughts and emotions. It has NOT been an easy road, I’ve been doing my part to focus on my self care and not solely relying on anyone or anything to “fix all my problems for me”… So please don’t take this review as an expectation for this book to fix it all, YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR PART.. I'm constantly learning more about myself and who I want to be... Brene has unknowingly become a mentor to me through her books/ Audio Books/ Ted Talk Videos/ YouTube Videos - she has opened my eyes in ways I've never imagined. I've always known how to treat others and that being kind is always a MUST…… BUT I never knew how to show myself the same compassion and love until I came across this amazing woman! I love that she shares her own struggles and gives examples of situations and how they made her feel... My friend bought this book after I couldn’t stop raving about it and we started reading it out loud together... I can't count how many times we’ve stopped reading and said out loud, "WOW, we're not the only ones who are hard on ourselves like this.. it's not just us!! We have to keep reading to see how she prospers from these horrible situations that would break most people!" And there’s other times when we stop to talk about certain parts we feel are speaking directly to us and what comes to mind.. they haven’t been easy conversations! But they’ve been important to feel through and talk about vs just putting it to the back of our mind. This is such a powerful book that I will for sure read more than a few times- it will forever be my “go to” as I continue down my journey of being better and doing better…

Brene Brown is someone who can put the most fundamental human needs into words that really come to life and make sense and get people to talk about them and put them into practice. I have grown up in a generally healthy social and family life. I have been to college, grown up in a strong religious background and community, my parents being missionaries, and I think I have more or less been happy. Still, her words have shaken me up and helped me to realize what really matters, and what was keeping me from being me and embracing the life and freedom that God has created me to be. In addition, I have come to embrace others in the same way. Her work has helped me to put pieces together that I think I have known in my head to some degree, but did not know how it fits together and make sense in my life and in the world. This book can be seen as a foundational book among three of her books (including Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong). I highly recommend reading these.

I am so disappointed by this. I loved the TED talk and felt that Dr. Brown was very relatable but this just comes off so cold and clinical -- it's impossible to find a shred of wisdom to keep with me to improve my life. The stories leave me totally uninterested. Some seem ridiculously shallow for illustrating such a deep subject. And I think that the WORST part is the person who is reading. Something about the way she reads makes me want to scream. I might have liked the entire thing more had Dr. Brown herself been the reader. I had a similar experience with another book. I wish all writers with a public profile would take the time to record their own work. It makes a HUGE difference. Based on the book, I fear this criticism might put you into a tailspin, and that's not what I want to do, but breaking such human experiences down to specifically defined morsels is an approach that just doesn't work for me. As for your cute candid photograph with your friend -- why on earth should you care what some half-wit photographer who can't even spell thinks of your photography? I say just be yourself and post whatever you want and screw 'em! I like you. I really do.

Review of: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown,;; Hazelden, Center City, Minnesota 55012, © 2010 by Brené Brown, 138 pages. [Nov. ‘14] “Self-Help” books are endemic. Most of us want to improve some part of our life on an ongoing basis thus “How To” books abound – “Lose Weight Easily,” “Change Your Life in 30 Days,” “How Better Friends in Can Make You Rich!” – titles that intrigue and hook into our hope that “it will be better, then!” Rarely does a book come from an outlook of “this is how I changed my life, maybe it will be of help to you,” yet that is the style and tone offered by Dr. Brown in this well researched (she is a professional researcher), concise book whose writing is more prose than technical. The book deserves to be read slowly enough so the practical suggestions can take root beyond the, “Oh, that’s interesting!” phase, but could easily be read through in a weekend. Dr. Brown is clear in her writing that people and things only change when the work is done to make those changes. The “Sub-Sub-Title of the book is “Your Guide To a Wholehearted Life” and is the result of her having experienced a “Breakdown Spiritual Awakening” (her description) in 2007. She defines Wholeheartedness “is as much about embracing our tenderness and vulnerability as it is about developing knowledge and claiming power.” (p.xi). Because she choose to grasp this time period as moment of awakening rather than a time of grief, she frames the “steps” to living Wholeheartedly as “Guideposts,” framing the tasks more as a guided journey than a “Fix It Fast” guarantee. None of the Guideposts are surprising and each is discussed in a chatty manner that feels more akin to having a talk with a trusted other than it does the results of a professional researcher, which is a good move if the author desires to have her results actually read. This does not diminish the data she presents, especially when she uses her personal experience when relating said findings. The Guideposts are (emphases are mine): #1 – Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think (so much for holding to my Co-Dependency!”) #2 – Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism (I don’t have to be right all the time?!?!) #3 – Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness (feeling deeply is part of LIVING) #4 – Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark (what I have is sufficient) #5 – Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty #6 – Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison (Being “me” is a good thing.) #7 – Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth (WHEW! Thank goodness!) #8 – Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle (If people did this, I’d be out of work.) #9 – Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt “Supposed To” #10 – Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control” Each chapter ends with a DIG (Deliberate, Inspired, Going) reflection. This is a time to actually consider what was just read, consider what needs to be done if one is to incorporate that step into one’s life and create a plan to practice that choice regularly. I found this book to be helpful and encouraging. The author offers no guarantees of how changes will occur only that these “guideposts” made, and continue to make, a difference in her life.

I know I'm a little late to the party in reading this book, but better late than never! I am truly inspired after spending time really reading and comprehending all of the little bits of information presented in this book. I feel that it is an extremely beneficial read for those who are looking for a spiritual awakening. I learned so much about myself, my emotions, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions. This book is a starting gate to the practice of really living. I am in awe that Brene Brown is able to communicate so effectively, her research in such a real and approachable way. Vulnerability is hard, but I feel after reading this book, I am one step closer to embracing vulnerability.

I chose the rating because the book is absolutely perfect despite its title. It relates to a saying I felons strongly about I had it put into a tattoo I created. It says"Find the perfection in the imperfection" I never even knew this book existed at that time or even heard the name Brene Brown. I just knew in my soul I had to learn to do that. Because I was far from perfect. Its been a long road. This book helped bring together some of the missing pieces and it did it with pure simplicity.

I was excited to read The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown because I enjoy her work research quite a bit and because I've long struggled with perfectionism. I thought this book was going to expand on I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't), but instead it read more like it was refresher course. There were a few points that I had real contention with. For example, I was so bothered by her assertion regarding spirituality being necessary for wholehearted living that I went to her website and emailed her team. She seemed to assert, or at least imply, that atheists, agnostics, and other nonspiritual/nonreligious people can't live wholehearted lives. I want to know if her research included these groups because if not it demonstrates a flaw in her research. Her team has yet to respond. This part of the book caused me to question other parts of the book because I know from my own experience that atheists, agnostics, and other nonspiritual/nonreligious people can and do live wholeheartedly. That aside, her research into wholehearted living offers much to ponder in regards to how we move through life, treat ourselves, and interact with others. Brown interweaves her personal reactions to what she found in her research with the research in a well written book that is approachable and relatable.

This is yet, another Oprah inspired celebrity. Dr. Brown rambles on about herself. Then you should be able to be just like her. NOT

This review speaks to my thoughts of the author's celebrity image as someone who gives really good advice and perspective while being genuine at the same time. Her Ted talks are really good and I am glad I bought the book. Needless to say I liked the read and would recommend to anyone looking for insights on clearing the clutter that comes with life in effort to live with more meaning.

This author violates the very things she talks about in the book. Her potty-mouth is certainly unbecoming of an author who should know her stuff--since most all of what she writes is pretty much recycled material from other authors and repackages it in trite, pseudo-philosophical styles that make her standing on the subject in question. She may sell a lot of books, and get paid a lot of money for her gigs, but herd mentality generated that. Tossed the book in the trash.

This book had a few insightful and thought-provoking moments, but overall it was quite redundant and a bit all over the place. I would have loved to have heard more real-life stories from people of all backgrounds and situations, but instead was given a lot of stories from the author that I couldn't relate to. Not to diminish the author's struggles, which were very real for her, but some people are battling much heavier issues than not feeling prepared for a speech. I went on to read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie and found that far more real and helpful - it actually gave suggestions and actionable items to put a new thought process in place, something this book really lacked.

*"Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging." *"I think asking for what you need is one of the bravest things you'll ever do." *"Do you know how incredibly brave is to say 'I don't know' when you're pretty sure everyone around you gets it?" *"No matter how much gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough." I found out about this book in the moment I needed it the most: now. I'm grateful for it and the hope and courage that's offered me.

The cynic in me wants to say "Pure drivel". But I'm sure it is helpful to some people, and I don't think it is factually incorrect. No wonder books like these are a dime a dozen - you can just chop up and reorganize theories and suggestions, and nobody is going to hold you accountable for it working.

If you have her other books you can skip this one. While her other books are very informative, this one seems like her personal journal was published. It is full of "I language" with information from her other books. I had hoped to give this one to my patients but anyone who has read it feels they are just reading her personal story with no real insights for how they can change.

It looks more interesting than it was. I was looking more for insight or a guide but this book was not really a self-help. More of just stories.

Was hoping to read this and say “what a load of crap”. However I was pleasantly surprised by her candidness and ability to really explain topics and ideas in a clear way. I’m an LCSW and do like seeing other’s perspectives on things. I feel she made an effort to connect with her audience to help them understand how imperfection is perfectly normal, and ways to feel comfortable with this. I classify this in as a thought prevokingly easy read, with no pretentiousness. There was no excessive therapy lingo.

I read this book seeking answers to some questions about life, its meaning, who I am and who I want to be in order to live a happier and calmer life. Brene Brown offers an easy read that is surprisingly insightful and very relatable to every person. She outlines the causes and sources of worry, anxiety, stress, shame and fear we continuously feel in modern life in a simple and easy to understand context. She also suggests practical ways of dealing with these emotions, managing them, and mustering the courage to live through them without compromising one's confidence, sense of self worth or, ultimately, happiness. I liked how the book avoids scientific or highly intellectual concepts in conveying its key messages to the reader, which contributed to my continued interest in reading it right to the end without being turned off or feeling lost in the process. Brene triggers curiosity in better understanding ourselves as a start to embark on a life long journey of adjusting our values and attitudes towards wholehearted living. Highly recommended reading for those seeking hope and optimism in improving our relationships as means of leading more meaningful lives.

This book has given me more insight than years of therapy, I struggle with Bipolar type one. This book not only has solid advice but gives specific definitions to the words she is using so there is little room for miscommunication. I have spent most of my 20s working on my mental stability (i’m about to be 30 in April) and during one of the most hectic years on this earth, I have managed to gain more mental stability than during the countless years of therapy. This book truly is amazing and if you do the leg work, take notes and reflect it has so many useful tools. But it also takes acknowledgment. Some people can’t handle that and I can see that in the couple 1 star reviews. Trust the majority that have found this insanely helpful. It’s a short read and jam-packed with gold.

I, like probably many others, was introduced to Brené Brown via her new Netflix special. Her philosophy about shame and courage really intrigued me, and after chatting with a friend who is a fan, I got this book over Daring Greatly. I wish I got Daring Greatly. This book is very short - 160 pages - and to cover 10 guideposts plus intro, background, etc, leaves precious little time for each topic. It discusses the _why_ of her ideas, but not the _how_. It reads more like a series of blog posts or maybe the cliffs notes version of something grander. I thought her “DIG” tips at the end of each chapter were simply added fluff that had no actual usefulness. Also, her TED talk about shame covers the same topics of this book as well. That said, she does have some good insights, her writing is compelling, and this book (and her Netflix special) did whet my appetite for more. I haven’t read Daring Greatly yet, but if I had known better, I would’ve skipped this one and gone for the meat in that book instead.

Way more god and higher power talk than I expected. And reads more like a memoir. All about her and her experience, but not much in the way that is guidance or instruction.

It took me a long time to read this book. I kept putting it aside for a week at a time because certain ideas made me angry. They pointed fingers directly at me and I had to think about them. In the end I'm no quitter and I finished the book. It pointed out several areas in my own life to work on improving. Ultimately, I did not love this book. I found the writing too clinical, "In my research..." Yes, I am aware the author is a researcher and perhaps that is the nature of her writing. I would have liked the whole book better if it had been written like the last chapter, less clinical and more about helping me help myself.

I get the point. But as she is a researcher I would love to have seen more data and profoundness . Not for nerdy self help seekers like me.

This is a great book that gives a concise overview of various concepts that the author used to overcome her breakdown/spiritual awakening in 2007 which came from her work as a psychologist/social worker. The thin book of 130 pages goes through different methods to overcome depression and anxiety as well as enhancing the quality of your life. The only down side to the book is that the concepts are quite counter-cultural and will be difficult to initially grasp but are very worthwhile to learn in the end. In the end, you will realize that most of the values and worldviews you bought into from the advertisers of Madison Avenue do NOT work in real life and only cause your suffering, i.e. like smoking is cool. This book helps set you straight. Brown gives you the truth that a lot of the things you think you should be and do are simply killing your spirit and the quality of your life. Free you mind and you butt will follow.

This was a great easy read as I faced a big transition in my life. What was different about this book compared to others in this category, is that Brene Brown does not just rely on her own singular experiences to teach, but rather the experiences of countless others she has interviewed over many years. Using this qualitative data gave a little more "sciency" feel which I appreciate as a researcher :) Plus including stories from others creates more connections for readers. It was easy to pick up and put down as needed, and although one could read it rather quickly I encourage you to take one guidepost chapter at a time and reflect on it before moving to the next one. Looking forward to reading more of her work!!

By far one of the best books I've ever read. I rarely finish books, but finished this in 4 days because I just couldn't put it down. I've struggled my entire life with low self esteem and this book just addresses the premise for all of it. It also explained several things in ways I've never thought about them before which really helped me realize a lot of things about myself and my life. This book also corresponds nicely with codependency recovery work since a lot of the things discussed are also codependent behaviors and feelings. I will be giving this book as gifts to several friends and relatives because it's just so relatable.

Very preachy and boring.

I am not normally into self-help books, but this was recommended to me and the title attracted me. What a terrible waste of time. The book was non-sensical and did not flow well at all. I felt that it was mostly navel-gazing (could the author talk more about herself, her other books, her life, her work, etc?) and promoting other books that she liked (instead of incorporating then in her writing and referencing them). By the end of the book, her 10 guideposts of living wholeheartedly literally deteriorated into something as banal as making sure we take time to laugh, sing, and dance. It seems like she could not quite make it to 10 guideposts in a meaningful way. This book felt like a rushed book report that someone needed to turn in to make a deadline without expansion of the topics/guideposts given. Would not recommend.

Everybody should read Brene Brown. Let me tell ya, I am not a self-help kind of gal and I hate cheesiness. When a therapist recommended this book to me I rolled my eyes internally and thought "ugh, another self help book." Brene Brown is straight forward, honest and connects to you on every page. She is not telling you how you should live or what to think or telling you, 'If you just think positive it will all be okay!" She guides you through other people's stories, makes you love them and her for their vulnerability and honesty-then she makes you feel that way about yourself.

This book was like reading a bunch of clichéd motivational quotes. Like, "Stop comparing yourself to others." Thanks, Dr.! I'm cured!

In my younger years I feel like I was living a whole hearted life and was truly joyful and happy. Along the way, I have had many relationships, situations and circumstances that chipped away at my self worth and happiness. I never knew what shame was or how it worked, not to mention that I had been shaming myself for all of these years habitually. Reading this book helped to teach me the ways of my soul that I have lost along the way. Thank you for helping me to learn the ways I have forgotten to take care of myself. Sometimes being tough and soldiering on seem like the brave thing to do and now I know maybe they are not- its ok to stop and feel and tell myself I am not less than for feeling. This book helped me to see to really be brave, I have to be compassionate with myself understand the ways I have withheld happiness and joy from my life and why. Thank you for showing me tools I can use to be more loving to myself and show up again as my full, happy, worthy self.

This book is helpful if you have the plethora of resources the author has at your disposal, such as friends who are essentially willing to be your unofficial therapist, and prior knowledge of psychological constructs relevant to imperfection (at the PhD level). The book doesn't give bad advice - but the advice probably isn't useful to most people with typical resources. Also, I found the author to be quite self agrandizing as much of the book is her talking about how she has overcome so many tough things.

Brene Brown is a researcher and professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Brown is also a writer, who has a good sense of story and a bit of wit to lighten the work. Brown has managed to find a good balance between the research and its analysis, and the interpretation of that into the behaviour we see and experience every day. As someone who has written academic papers, I can tell you that this is really, really tricky to do and very rarely does anyone actually pull it off as well as Brown has done here. Brown has managed to find a way into really complex patterns of behaviour, often buried so deeply under layers of other behaviours that it is really hard for us less trained people to work out what is going on, let alone what is driving it. I liked that Brown could unpack these complex behaviours so that I could see the drivers, and then guide me to working out some ways to change the story in my head. Really useful material. At the heart of it is the idea that wholehearted people embrace their tenderness and vulnerability. Brown takes her own journey of vulnerability and reveals her mistakes, and patterns, and lets us in on how she goes about understanding and then changing them. It is her bracing honesty, and her vulnerability, that shows us by example some of the ways we can change ourselves. I have huge respect for her in the the quality of her research, and her analysis, but even more so, for revealing her own vulnerability with this work. It's a great read, much easier and more fun than most books in this category, and has the potential to change how you deal with your own vulnerability. I highly recommend it.

This book was recommended to me by my counselor. I am so glad I took her suggestion and read it. This book is real. I stopped so many times and thought "that's it...that's what I've been trying to put into words". This book has 10 Guidepost and each is explained simply. There are so many books that try to "help" us find our true selves, happiness etc. but they give so much research data and big terms you feel more lost. This book doesn't do that. It's like a friend explaining and giving advice. I never realized how the fear of being vulnerable keeps us frozen and keeps us from our best life. I highly recommend the book and also follow the podcast that goes with the book. You will be glad you did.

I chose this as a selection for my women's book club, and everyone really loved it. It's fairly concise, and to the point, with enough anecdotes to make it relatable. The only thing I didn't like was that the author often used absolutist language, stating that this applies equally to everyone. At one point, she says, "This is the human condition." I found that rather presumptuous and unprofessional for a social scientist. One of the women in my book club pointed out that her daughter, an extraordinarily intelligent individual with Asperger's syndrome, would read this and take away the message that she is somehow less than human, because she decidedly does NOT have the need for intimate disclosure that Dr. Brown insists we all have. I have to agree. I'm intensely extroverted and share pretty much everything with pretty much everyone, but I still found it to be a sweeping generalization that ALL people have to talk things out in order to heal from them. Nothing is true for EVERYONE, and Dr. Brown should know this. Otherwise, I loved this book, and all of Brown's work. If you are prepared to face the vulnerabilities that this book may bring up for you, it could change your life. Highly recommend.

Too much author self absorption. She seems to assume that readers have experienced her traumas. And it’s hard to identify with all of her anxieties.

I love Brene Brown's research and how she presents her findings in story form. I bought the book rather than the digital version because I wanted to use it as a resource to come back to time and again. This book presents her tips for Wholehearted living and it has made such an improvement in my outlook on my life and how I live and want to be seen. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with who they are. Brene will be real with you so that you can get real with yourself and start working on a wholehearted life for you.

Brenè, you gem!! If you are a perfectionist, can’t live in the moment, a mom, an Enneagram one, try to do it all yourself, or have high functioning anxiety..you need to read this! My toes have been stepped on through the book and I have verbally said “OUCH!!!” many times!! Beautifully written and effortlessly explained!!

I adore Brene Brown anyway, and this is one of her earlier books. As a therapist, I use this book in my practice extensively. So many people suffer from the need for perfection or the quest to live up to to unrealistic expectations. This book is short in its chapters, but each is packed with wisdom that if applied, will begin to lighten the heart and let one feel comfortable in his or her own skin. Highly recommend.

I've struggled for a long time with issues of perfectionism and feeling inadequate. Reading Brene's book has helped me see the foolishness in these feelings and has helped me begin to uproot them; I am proud to say it's a work in progress, but that I am making progress. Brene's writing is conversational, and so reading this book feels like having an intimate conversation with the author over coffee in a local cafe--I can pick up this book and fall into it like I can fall into a prayer book, and every passage, every vulnerable memory she shares, brings me closer to recognizing and affirming the humanity not only inside everybody, but also inside myself. This book is liberating, and nothing short of life-changing. As I share this book with others, I keep telling them that Brene has become my spirit animal--though perhaps my spirit mentor is a more positive way of saying that. Her words and experiences speak directly to my soul, and I can related to her feelings of shame, inadequacy, and vulnerability more and more with every chapter. This is no doubt a book I will reread many times in my life, and each time I am sure to grow from it. Brene begins with a few introductory chapters on what wholehearted living is, and then she moves into discussing the ten guideposts of a wholehearted life. Her experience researching these topics results in an abundance of definitions for each guidepost, but these definitions are shaped directly from her research and are given through storytelling, rather than verbose jargon. I read this book in only a few days, and I still intend to go back to it, review each guidepost, and reflect more deeply upon how I can make them a stronger part of my life. Despite my not having taken the time to do this yet (I blame grad school and work), Brene early on introduces an acronym "DIG deep"--a three-step process to be Deliberate, do something Inspiring, and Get Going. When I begin to experience downward spirals of shame and self-loathing, or bouts of anxiety or any other overwhelming emotion, I remember this mantra and use it to pull myself back to what I want to be doing in any given moment. As I take time to be introspective and relate the guideposts more directly to my own life, I am certain that this DIGging deep will only become a more powerful force in helping me to live the life I want to live. If you have ever struggled with "should-ing" yourself, this book can be a spiritual awakening that will help you get past this--and if you have friends/family members who "should" themselves and suffer from it, this book will be a great gift for them. I know a few people myself I'm getting this book for, because I truly believe reading it will help them find more fulfillment and happiness in their lives than they have now.

I’ve always felt my best when being authentic. Just like the author mentions though, it isn’t easy to live that way. There’s so much to compare to, so many expectations. This book provided some much needed insights. I’m grateful to the author for her research and for writing and sharing it.

Understanding what's really going on underneath the surface is critical to growth. This is not one of those fluff books, nor have I found it an easy read. (I typically read 2-3 pages at a time) My pen has gotten a work-out with this book as almost every paragraph is chalk full of insights to help you grow. You'll read about worth, shame, shame resilience, being enough... Reading it has helped me understand when I'm in my trap of Shame... and, now that I can recognize it, I can talk myself through that underlying emotion and get back to a place of worth.

The author equates unworthiness to shame. No way in my universe are they the same. I found it to be such a negative book. It has this amazing title and could be a good book with a different approach. I cannot recommend this book to anyone. No stars.

Brene Brown does an excellent job of pointing out the ways we avoid our own vulnerability, which gets in the way of our authentic self expression. With her trademark every-human conversationality, she is easily relatable and manages to leave you feeling more aware and never criticized. I especially liked her observation that while not every one is a full blown "addict," in the sense that we tend to think about it in relation to smoking, drinking or drug use, if you rephrase the way we hide from the discomfort of our vulnerability by being a "take-the-edge-off"-aholic, it suddenly brings to light all the ways this avoidance/self medication applies to most of us. Whether it's chronic busy-ness, shopping, a couple glasses of wine at the end of the day, television, Facebook, or whatever, this realization is a door to expansion, not guilt. I bought the Audible version of this book which was very convenient, but has the drawback of being difficult to pass on without obligating the receiver to set up an Audible account. The paperback would have been cheaper and easier to pass along without putting an obligation on anyone. It should inspire the potential reader though, that this book is worth passing on. I can't think of anyone who could not benefit from it.

Brown is an amazing story teller, but more importantly, she’s fantastic in how she relates these stories into practical life sense. I’ve been particularly interested in how shame affects behavior and speech, and how love can help overcome these negative patterns of shame-response. I’m fascinated by how these topics are so prevalent in however the reader may apply them.

I love how she includes examples of her own struggles with her ideas to help get you on to living your own whole hearted life. My favorite quote from this book is, " When we choose to be true to ourselves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing. " this rings so true in my own life. I like how the book is broken up as well into digestible chunks that all add on to each other. Im definitely going to start incorporating these guideposts into my life.

Omg I loved Brené's book on perfectionism and how it's linked to shame and worthiness or a lack thereof. I'm a Virgo and an über perfectionist all the time. I don't have tolerance for imperfection and failure has never been an option for me. This is unrealistic so when the inevitable happens, I lose my shit. Reading Mrs. Brown's book opened up a huge can of worms into my life. I've had some shocking and profound realizations simply from reading her book. I also watched her TED talk on Netflix, check it out if you haven't. My therapist & I have made several breakthroughs by me simply applying what Brené's book teaches. Thank you for your research and bravery with applying your real life situations.

I've read a few self-help books in my day, but this is the worst one, hands down. The first third of the book is the author talking about herself, her speech writing capabilities and incidents involving her speeches, and the like. This is a boring book, and if the author can't get to the point of the book in the first third, I put the book down, likely to never pick it up again. There are many good self-love and self-improvement books on the market. I'd buy one of the others, if I were you, and pass on this book.

Fluff. Absolutely fluff. Read a summary online instead (takes three minutes). Half the writing in the beginning is her talking about how brilliant her “revelation” was and selling herself to you.

I'm only fifty pages in so far, but I keep feeling frustrated because she keeps saying things like "I was surprised by my research that..." without actually ever explaining her research. She vaguely mentions that the research involves reading peoples' stories, but that doesn't help me understand the objectivity of her findings. She makes lots of claims that you are supposed to trust because she is a researcher but she doesn't explain the research her claims are based on so that you can decide for yourself. I enjoy the anecdotes. But my low-self esteem is related to avoidant personality disorder, which means I back my self doubt with a logical case because I actually believe it. You gotta give me something more than "Trust me, I'm really smart and have a lot of great stories." I'm sure she's brilliant and has conducted great research. I even like the stories. But I would sort of like to know what that research is in addition to the interpretation she has of it. Fact and interpretation are two very different things. Without both, I can't find it believable. I feel like it's incomplete without this and much less convincing. Where is the evidence for the claims? Books like The Happiness Advantage, for example, present eye opening ideas backed by research in a way that is still fascinating.

Thought it was different. Was hoping for spiritual/God based book. The author was more about herself than helping others.

I love Brene Brown's talks & books. This book is a refreshing look at just being human and being imperfect. It helped me to look at life in a different way, and not be as hard on myself when I start comparing myself to other people. I am an art student and had constantly compared myself to other artists. I look at things differently now. I've only painted 7 years & of course someone who has painted over 40 years is going to be more accomplished. I enjoy painting more now & feel that I'm not inferior, just newer to the process. I discovered that 'talent' is just hard work, the desire to do something, & lots of practice.

Another home run by Brené Brown. This book contains so much insight about understanding some of the behaviors and thought patterns that hold us back in life. While it is abundantly clear, as with all books by this author, that she is an experienced and highly adept researcher, her gift for story telling shines through even stronger. She genuinely connects with the reader by sharing her own “imperfections” and life experiences. I actually caught myself laughing out loud at various points in this book. One of the things I found most valuable in this book, was how to use our own perceived "weaknesses" and turn them into some of our greatest strengths. It's impossible to read this book without getting a dose of courage. If you want a traditional self-help book, keep looking. If you want a book to shake your perspective, ignite your belief in yourself, and inspire you to go bigger, then this is definitely a book for you. My respect and admiration for this author continues to climb as I read more of her books. She is a brave example of "practicing what you preach" and is truly one of the most inspiring authors (and speakers) I've ever seen.

The author came as a suggestion from a friend as I shared a story concerning a relationship issue. When I read the word "imperfection" in this title I felt the grace of further guidance. The key points that Dr. Brown embeds in her stories are what stuck out for me, and stuck with me. I'm one who tries hard to memorize the entire book, but from the start she helped me to let go of my compulsions and to have the courage, compassion and connection to let go and be present to what's before me in the text at every point. TGIF, Howard

I would recommend this book to just about anyone but as a new mom/dad. If you're searching for yourselve, connections, and maybe a bit of purpose from different perspectives this book is for you. I can't wait to reread in the future to find more snipts of gold inside from a different perspective.

Brene' is just the best. I had a copy of this book but couldn't find it and purchased again. I needed a refresher to remind me what is important in this crazy life. :-)

While the information may not have been simple for Dr. Brown to compile, it's simple to digest and recognize as true and necessary in my own life. I was encouraged by the chapters where I felt like "hey, I do this already!" , and excited and challenged by the ones that illuminated areas needing growth. Also, I was frustrated/relieved to see her address possible backlash and reactions that I recognized as painful and confusing in my own life but now can view as predictable responses to someone who is on the right track, and can work to stop owning other's negativity and judgement. An easy-to-read and digestible book I will recommend to any individual or group

Brown’s words have helped me put my behavior as well as others into a new perspective. Her writing reaffirmed my belief that our stories need to be shared with others. My blog and memoir act as my conduit. I especially enjoyed one of Brown’s passages regarding the middle-aged years. She said, “People may call what happens at midlife ‘a crisis’ but it’s not. It’s an unraveling– a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re ‘supposed’ to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.” Conforming to the expectations of others is a negative offshoot of most societies. Middle age wisdom or non-conforming dispositions will circumvent such a limited and sheltered perspective. The crux of Brown’s book rests on the concept of ‘wholeheartedness.” Chapter after chapter defines the elements of a life filled with wholeheartedness and also delineates behaviors that are the antithesis. As I tried to grasp the essence of her philosophy, I became intrigued by the way she describes how to reach the intended goal of a wholehearted life. “It’s like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know that we’re heading in the right direction.” Like many other things in life, we choose certain goals, but realize that it is not possible to reach the final destination. Living in isolation is not the ideal under any situation. The connections we make with others are vital. Brown differentiates between the actions of “fitting in” and “belonging.” “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” Using the analogy of a camera lens, Brown illustrates how shame can wreck havoc with people’s lives. If someone’s life is filled with shame they will only focus on their own shortcomings. Their challenges will be limited to themselves. It is as if they are using a zoom lens. If they choose to use a wide-angle lens, their perception will be totally different. Other people will be included in the picture. Some of these people will be sharing some of the same issues. Seeing others in a similar predicament will lessen counter productive thoughts that focus on being unworthy or not belonging. Recognizing and then coping with our irrational fears takes practices. Mastery of this skill is left up to the individual’s desire to live a wholehearted life. According to Brown, faith and reason are the best tools for dealing with an uncertain world. Embracing some form of spirituality will offset the naturally tendency to become anxious about the unknown. It will add a new perspective, concrete meaning, and purpose to one’s life. In an era when many writers are touting the importance of gratitude, I was not surprised to read that all of her interviewees who had led a joyful life credited their joyfulness to their gratitude practices. Why does gratitude have such a profound effect? Brown provided a template for joyful moments when she said, “Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy. Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments-often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down extraordinary moments. Other times we’re so afraid of the dark that we don’t dare let ourselves enjoy the light.”

There is nothing to dislike. Loved it! I will actually read it a second time, and re-read all my notes that I wrote in the margins. It's like a handbook for anyone who is a perfectionist, anyone who has suffered from shame, anyone who has had addiction(s) in their family. I plan to get her whole collection.

I don’t like to write negative reviews but I could find anything that will support positive.., this is the type of book where you trying to find out, why someone actually wrote so much, whole book about nothing!!

It was moderately interesting but honestly I was quite disappointed that there wasn't like actual self-help tips. I was hoping for more like ideas on how to implement these practices in your everyday life instead of just anecdotes. If you are looking for actual advice on how to implement these ideas read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. She breaks down different mediations on each chapter.

This book was a recommendation from a friend, and since reading it, I've been recommending it to everyone I know. It takes you on a great journey of self-discovery. As a woman and as a parent, this book really helped me to see life differently and to reevaluate my personal and work relationships. When I finished this book, I felt so positive and energized to keep reading. I've read two other books since. I highly recommend this book.

Great book. Brown talks about topics that most people wouldn't want to talk about or face, but she's real and the topics are real. A lot of us grow up like zombies, not realizing what we believe is not really who we are. Maybe we're trying to impress others, maybe we're trying to be like someone else who we think is better than who we are. I would pair this book up with something by Anthony De Mello and embrace it. I've worked with many people in society from surgeons to engineers, dancers to sales people and I've recommended this book(And De Mello's) Sometimes they never realize it, but sometimes they're on their death bed before they realize they've been trying to be someone else their whole lives. Cheers and godspeed.

For a self help book to stand out from others it needs more than the naming of the problems. We already have too many types of those books. They are helpful but offer nothing new. The premise of the authors message and path must be clear to engage me. Well he did. He defines what our mission and needs are as humans in all their vulnerability. His message is that of redefining certain words. It allows people to begin to redefine their lives by paying attention to the meaning of the words of which they either use or don't use. Defining or redefining happiness, love, creation, connection. He challenges their meanings. He then creates his own new meaning. That's why I say it's a Bible of sorts. He does this in a way of narrating the difficulties in his path and how he as a professional created new meanings and therefore a new life for himself. You begin to feel The deeper connection we crave whether we think we do or not. This book is definitely not your ordinary self-help book.

This book is phenomenal. If you have listened or read other books and podcasts by Brene Brown there are a lot of overlaps. The TED talks and the audiobooks share so much valuable information to us to help us achieve higher self-love and self-growth. I was recommended to look up Brene Brown from a counselor, and I love the things I have learned from Brene. She breaks down definitions and gives examples so that people can understand the differences, which is very important because the words can be mixed up so easily.

I have a few books that I consider life changers, because they literally changed the way I live my life. This is going to be one of those books. I've struggled with perfectionism my whole life, and this book has opened my eyes to why, and things I can do (or stop doing). I love that she tells her story, while mixing it with solid research at the same time. I think that she has more to say to me, so I'm going to be checking out her other books and her blog.

This book literally changed my life! It is now part of my collection of favorite books EVER! It was so Life transforming that i made a Youtube video about what i learned reading this book. I Highly recommend it. Read it as part of my mentorship program and loved every part of it.

I love Brene Brown talks so I thought I would read one of her books. I absolutely love this book!! I am looking forward to reading it again. I learned a lot from the topics that she wrote about and how to love your self wholeheartedly. It’s so inspiring.

Brown is just not my favorite. I know she is great for some though as she is very popular and certainly has good points and truths. I think she’s great for someone just getting started on the path or someone who likes to argue with everything and everyone ( like people of faith , AA, Spirituality) and that’s not a criticism. However , if you’ve been on path and exposed to great teachers dont waste money or trees .

This is one of those books that I want to buy a case of and just hand out at opportune times. Like high school graduation, new jobs, babies, bad weeks, etc. It's really that useful. It's a brief little book, packed with a lot of observations and data, but not a lot of prescriptive advice. Brown lays out what she's found from her research and lets you think about how to apply it to your life. I appreciate that she said what she had to say and then stopped. So many times I feel like books, especially in the self-help/non-fiction category, stretch beyond what they actually have to say and end up being repetitive. This is a little book full of ideas, as my highlighting testifies. There is so much I want to excerpt because Brown is excellent at pithy and thought-provoking statements. "It was clear from the data that we cannot give our children what we don't have. Where we are on our journey of living and loving with our whole hearts is a much stronger indicator of parenting success than anything we can learn from how-to books." "Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it--it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes." "Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help." (Yes, I needed to read the thing about asking for help this week.) This is not a perfect book -- I wanted more numbers, more quantification, and possibly slightly less religion-as-a-requirement, but those are just my biases. I do love that Brown is very personal and honest about her revelation that there is not a right way to be, just a way that leads to more emotional resiliency and seems to be associate with happier people. I like that this book is not about what you must do right now, but rather has lots of chapters on behavior that is helpful to the soul, and behavior that contributes to feeling bad. Read if: You struggle with shame, or imposter syndrome, or feeling like you are not worth everything you have been given. If you are secretly faking it all the time in your heart, this is a good book to read. Skip if: You feel like you are already living in a good balance with yourself, and you are already pretty good at self-forgiveness. Also skip if you are allergic to self-help books. Also read: No, just read this one. You'll thank me.

I love Brene Brown! She is genuine and authentic in her writing (and videos). Brene has a way of speaking and writing that challenges you (without sounding critical) and inspires you to reflect and respond. She gives practical tools and strategies to help you discover who you are meant to be! Brene handles difficult topics and talks about feelings and emotions that are uncomfortable in a grace filled way. This book is in my top 5 all time best reads.

What can I say about Brene Brown that hasn't already been said before? One thing I can say is that my opinions of her, which then is reflected in how I take her work have been a little up and down. When I first read her I was impressed, but then when I listened to a talk of hers, I felt like she was this scientist coming at emotional health from a sterile lab perspective. It became hard to read her work without thinking of this as all very scientific. Now don't get me wrong - I want science to back up me up or back up the people I listen to. I don't want this stuff to be "airy fairy". I have come to find out that Brene is not coming from this "airy fairy" bs AND she's amazingly down to earth, having experienced all of the messiness of life that we all have. I've just taken an e-class with her based on this book and found that she's done all this research and now she's trying to apply it to her life, just like all of us. The book is easy to read and in an easy to understand form, giving the reader what to nurture and what to let go of (its opposite). For example, how and why to cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism; with REAL< doable ways to get there. I go back to the 10 guideposts in the book daily to help me be comfortable with who I am.

This is a great read for anyone. Its a great read about accepting yourself warts and all. It is short, attention catching, and best of all for a semi-self help book is raw. It's realistic. Renee doesn't pull any punches on how suck-tastic loving yourself can be and her witty, raw real life examples are like someone screaming "YOUR NOT ALONE". The author is humble, the advice is solid, the book as fantastic. Highly recommend as a gift for anyone who might be going through a hard time. Can't wait to get cracking on my own "spiritual awakening". Thanks Brene!

I am keeping this book forever. I haven't finished it yet, but have already made so many highlights and notes in it. It's very relevant and relatable to me. I've read and reread passages in it as they just "grab" me - it's like Brene' wrote this just for ME! My therapist is reading it AGAIN and we are going to discuss it in our next session. It's hard to practice the advice/suggestions of whatever self-help book you're reading at the time, but I intend to dig deep into this one.

I am making my way through all of Brenes books and I LOVED this one. Its short and to the point. I have learned so much I want to read it again. If you are someone who is suffering in life read this. If you believe you are not enough or that your life is meaningless read this now. Its not a how to type of book. Instead it explains why we do what we do and why we feel the way we feel. Just being able to see the why helps me identify what's going on and help myself. I also think she's a great writer funny and to the point.

I can't recommend this book more highly than five stars. It's great. There are countless influences that tell us we're not good enough--we're too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, stupid, smarty-pants, clumsy, hyperactive, don't listen, don't talk enough,talk too much, too soft on the poor, too self-centered. On and on go the messages that we're not good enough. The result for many is uptightness and anxiety and efforts to be the best we can be beyond what is reasonable and self-kind. It's a losing battle. We've got to be ourselves, but how many layers we have to peel away. Brown goes gently into our dark sides with humor that makes the journey bearable and enlightening. She shows us our own worth just as we are. With self-love and the help of a few trusted others, we can let go of the self-recrimination that goes along with perfectionism. If you want to see how a kind and knowledgeable person suggests we do this, read this book. Students love it when I talk about Brown's ideas in social work classes at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities.

Brene Brown just opened the door on my anxiety-ridden life and let the light in. I have spent over 40 years mentally beating myself up for not being perfect. The more I thought I was failing the higher I raised the bar of perfection I had to achieve. I've even fallen into the trap of expecting perfection from others. It never occurred to me that my perfection-seeking was the cause of my unhappiness and loneliness. To have someone say - actually, you'll be happier if you find the courage to embrace imperfection is incredibly liberating. Not only that but the writer backs this up with her research. Every chapter of this book seemed to open yet another window of enlightenment for me. What I love most about this author is that she shares her own stories of neurosis, fear, judgement, perfectionism, etc. I could relate to so many of these. And she's right. So much of what she writes makes absolute perfect sense to me. On those rare occasions when I've dared to be the me I want to be I've actually enjoyed life. I just thought the real me was too faulty to be let out in public. I can only hope that I am brave enough to follow through on such wonderful advice.

This book provided a sanctuary when nothing else did. It is as practical as it is informative. I highly recommend this life changer to everyone who suffers from shame. It will help you live wholeheartedly by developing courage, becoming more compassionate to yourself and others, and truly connecting to the ones you love. This book made me more deliberate. I am inspired by the number of excerpts I highlighted because they spoke to me on a deep level. Reading it, I learned a lot of techniques that will help me get going in life. One advice: write down the recommended "DIGs" on flashcards. (DIG: deliberate, inspired, going)

Thank you, Brene, for this insightful and somewhat painful reminder of living life to its fullest. I find myself sucking the joy out of my own life and the lives around me, and I needed this reminder to be lit from within and how to spread my joy and authenticity.

This is the first book by Brene Brown that I've read. I just happened across the title on a friend's Facebook page and thought it looked interesting. How did I live without Brene Brown in my life before?? This book falls right in line with others I've read recently (Stephen Cope's The Great Work of Your Life, Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, etc.) in reaffirming that if you live your life according to "Supposed to Be," you will never be happy. I can't possibly share all of my favorite parts (I have 31 pages of highlights), but here are a few: •People may call what happens at midlife "a crisis," but it's not. It's an unraveling - a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're "supposed' to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are. •It's like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know that we're heading in the right direction. •Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. •Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it - it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes. •The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant, "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." •Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world is a little braver. And our world could stand to be a little kinder and braver. •The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, meaning "to suffer with." I don't believe that compassion is our default response. I think our first response to pain - ours or someone else's - is to self-protect. We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame. Or sometimes we shield ourselves by turning to judgment or by immediately going into fix-it mode. •Chodron: "Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." •The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it's difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior. •We can confront someone their behavior, or fire someone, or fail a student, or discipline a child without berating them or putting them down. The key is to separate people from their behaviors - to address what they're doing, not who they are. Wonderful, wonderful book. Amazing revelations. Highly recommend.

Not enough bore in the word boring for this book.

Dr. Brown has written this book for those of us who are struggling with the need to perform in a certain way to get approval. She describes the difference between shame and guilt, and how growing up with being shamed for not being more or not being better shaped our past and present decisions and behaviors. Dr. Brown laces her book with her own struggles with these issues. She uses everyday language for those of us not schooled in medical and/or psychological jargon or mumbo-jumbo. She offers courage for the weak at heart with her hope and step-by-step process to help form new thoughts and behaviors. The task is not in the reading, but in the applying. Through her guidance, I am learning to accept in my heart that I am "beautifully imperfect" and a work in progress. I am also learning how to be kind to myself in this process and to welcome myself in my new, forgiving heart.

Brene walks through the issues in the most natural language, leaving no stone unturned, but focuses on important points in a visual way, and by minimising the reader's trepidation in the subject matter, she allows us to embrace the truths she has uncovered in her valuable research. It is an impressive work, potentially life-changing, and will prove to be a valuable workbook to revisit frequently if one wants to embrace what she calls, "Wholehearted living."

I love the content of this book, and I want to read it and re-read it again to stay on the right path. Some of the most helpful points for me were: 1. In order to feel joy, you have to lean into uncomfortable feelings and not numb pain (through food, TV, substances, sex/love, obsessions, etc), because you can't selectively numb emotions, so if you numb pain, you numb joy as well 2. That joy will often be accompanied by fear because we fear we will lose the things that make us joyful, so you can expect anxiety to come up when you are about to feel joy or in the midst of feeling joy. You have to be able to tolerate the discomfort, because If you can't tolerate discomfort, then you will lose your capacity to experience joy. But there is no way to feel joy without feeling vulnerability because this life has no guarantees. She suggests, very helpfully, that one focuses on gratitude in order to overcome it. I've practiced this and it helps a lot- she suggests saying "I feel vulnerable right now, and that's okay, I feel so grateful for..." Gratitude is the key to joy. 4. That we think we can avoid pain by avoiding feeling the joys in life, but actually you need to feel the joy fully in order to be able to handle the difficult things that will come up. If you never feel joy (because you are numbing yourself), then when difficult things happen you don't have the inner resources to handle them and you end up having to numb yourself more, then because you are numbing yourself, you don't feel joy, so it's a cycle. 5. That everyone is so busy trying present themselves in certain ways and live up to expectations in order to be accepted, but you can never feel true love and belonging if you don't present your real self (be authentic). 6. In order to be authentic you must have a lot of courage in order to risk being vulnerable, because you could present your true self and be rejected, but if you don't try you will never experience true belonging. 7. The root of feeling love and belonging is feeling worthy, now, just as you are, of love and belonging, because you have to believe that your true self is worthy in order to have the courage to be authentic. 8. Feeling worthy now is also the answer to handling shame. Shame is the fear of being unlovable, so believing that you are worthy is the opposite of shame and the antidote to shame. You have to face shame and practice using shame resilience (which she teaches in the book, which feeling worthy is at the root of) in order to overcome perfectionism. I don't really love her writing style. You can really tell that she loves to put things in boxes, her background is as a researcher, and she loves definitions (and the majority of the definitions are really good and some of them are fantastic). But it means that her writing style doesn't seem to work the best for this subject matter. It feels like if she had a more of a clear, simple, inspirational tone, it could have had a little more flow and felt a little stronger, writing-wise. It's just a little hard to read sometimes, it feels a little clunky. But there are so many amazing parts that blow your mind and change your life, so it's totally worth reading. She made some really amazing points about so many subjects, but there were several subjects she really just brushes through and says basically that she discovered that "these were important characteristics of whole-hearted people as well, and here are some other books to look at on the subject" but I didn't really think she herself made that many great points on these subjects. And maybe for other people she did say things that hit home, but the subjects I felt she could have worked more on were: 1. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith (This is a really huge thing for me, and now, from the book, I know that it is important to have faith to be whole-hearted, but I didn't get any closer to figuring out HOW to have faith from what she said) 2. Cultivating Calm and Stillness (There is so much fantastic information out there on this subject, I would highly recommend the book "Mindsight" on this subject.) 3. Cultivating Creativity, Play and Rest, Laughter, Song and Dance (these are fairly straight-forward topics, probably most people can figure out how to incorporate more of these things into their lives, but these chapters didn't feel like they offered a lot of useful points on the subjects, aside from just pointing you in the right directions towards doing these things- which in and of itself is very important! 4. I wish she had said more about HOW to cultivate authenticity. The chapter on authenticity was chock-full of great points, but I would have loved more on how 5. She discusses using boundaries and holding people accountable to be compassionate, instead of the usual shaming and blaming we do. I could have used A LOT more instruction and advice on HOW to use boundaries and hold people accountable in a compassionate way. This book is life-changing, it is necessary reading for everyone in my opinion. The first chapter was actually the hardest to get through for me- writing-style wise. I actually thought it wasn't a good book and I put it down and considered it a bad investment after reading the first chapter- I felt it was full of fluff, and obvious stuff, and that it didn't have any useful information. But then thankfully, a month or two later, I picked it up again, and once you get to chapter two, everything starts getting a lot better. Then it kind of goes downhill again at Guidepost 5 and beyond. But between chapter two and guidepost 5, it is pure gold.

This is a straightforward book that talks about how you first have to respect yourself and feel that you have value and worth before you can project those positives to others. As someone who struggles with accepting myself for who I am and finds fault and shame in my thoughts and behaviors, I find this book to be a great reminder of how to accept those feelings and begin to turn them around. It's not at all fluffy and self-helpy. She writes in plain language and provides many personal examples. If you struggle to express your emotions and be open about your faults, this one might be worthwhile.

All I can say is “wow.” I’ve been looking for some self-help books and I was part of a book study group that worked through this title. There are so many things that Brené mentioned that gave me pause and helped me understand why I am the way that I am. She also gave me hope for the future. If you are on the fence about buying this book, I highly recommend that it is a risk worth taking. This was my first Brené Brown book and I will definitely be looking at some of her other work.

I’d heard a lot about this book and the beginning few chapters were promising. Unfortunately the book didn’t live up to expectations. I’m sure the author is a wonderful writer and teacher however in this case the chapters became repetitive and dull. I thought I would learn something useful and wholehearted. I did not. This isn’t a terrible book. There is just not much there, there.

Best book I have ever read on perfectionism. True awakening. There is life before this book and after this one! I learned so much from the work of Brene Brown and anyone who wants to learn about her research on shame and vulnerability must read this.

Language shapes out lives. I love find words to better articulate myself and the ideas, feelings, and beliefs I have. This book gave me that with respect to shame, guilt, being enough, perfectionism. I found myself nodding my head in agreement with the feelings of vulnerability the author shared. I'm glad she gave reasonable ideas to course correct some of the illogical thoughts I had.

Absolutely a must read book for anyone who wants to enjoy life with all the ups and downs. Brene Brown is so refreshingly open and vulnerable with her wisdom and stories that it inspires and encourages you to live fully and authentically too. This is one of those “read it every year” books. Brilliant!

To much "I" in this book. Explaining to me how, the author and her husband, 2 well paid professionals were able to scale back on their careers in order to "create" more satisfaction with their lives and family is, in my opinion, not relevant to the masses.

The Gifts of Imperfection by @brenebrown Wow did I pick a hard 📖 to read while we battle COVID-19. Overall this is a good 📖 & definitely helped reflect on oneself. This book also showed me that we are all normal with the unique tendencies we all have & that others do feel the same way no matter what the perception of them is. I learned of @brenebrown through a few recommendations & from seeing her show on @netflix which is worth watching.

I really savored this book because, bedsides the fact it’s written by Brené Brown, I can see why I’ve struggled with perfectionism, and not borne that fruit, or gotten happiness with rule-based “professionalism”, or acceptance by nodding my head and going with the crowd. It’s not Wholehearted me. I recommend this book to those who need to hear about that kind of struggle.

This book was recommended to me by my counselor. I could have finished it in a day but every section just seemed to speak to me and made me stop and really drink it in. It’s not a book that tells you what you should or shouldn’t do or think. It’s a book about Beene Brown’s research and her sharing her own epiphanies and they just seemed to match my needs almost...(wait for it) perfectly. I would highly recommend this for people who are “perfectionists” and/or feel like they have to meet certain standards to be enough.

This book is perfect for those going through major life shifts that shed light on their own imperfection. After struggling with a chronic condition and nagging feelings of worthlessness, overwhelm, and general hopelessness, this book was like a pat on the back from a close friend. Thank you, Brené! Looking forward to reading more of your books.

This is a descent book, and I think it has valuable lessons; I have faith in the analysis method adopted in the open-end surveys. It can be hard to read at times and some of the statements are repeated a little too often. I understand that the goal of the author is to emphasize some of the findings or lessons, but the reader is not that forgetful. Also many of the examples are female-oriented; it makes sense since the author draws many examples from her life, which is after all a female's experience. With a tiny bit of imagination on the reader's part, the experiences can be extended to every type of person. But when you read this book, you constantly think about your vulnerabilities and the process can be emotionally tough. Offering a wider range of experiential examples could offer some level of comfort to a reader who's taking the content of the book seriously and is ready to apply the teachings to his or her life.

"Shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience." Brene Brown should know. She spent years researching shame and she has written a few other books, but I think this one captured Oprah and so it's a best seller. She recognizes that many parts of this book will make people uncomfortable and she says, "We don't want to be uncomfortable. We want a quick and dirty "how-to" list for happiness". This book is not quick or dirty. It's a guide on how to live wholeheartedly, and she has ten guideposts to help us get there. On this 'journey' and in order to live wholeheartedly we need to embrace imperfection and let go of the things that are holding us back through courage, compassion and connection. These are the gifts of imperfection and when we're willing to be imperfect and real, these gifts keep giving. She makes distinctions between words like heroics and courage, guilt and shame, blame and accountability, fitting in and belonging. As we navigate through the ten guideposts, she consistently reminds us that we must practice--for example, the first guidepost is Authenticity. Brown says it "...is not something we have or don't have. It's a practice. a conscious choice of how we want to live." At the end of each guidepost she asks us to 1. Dig Deep, 2. Get Inspired, and 3. Get Going, and she gives examples of how to do this from her personal experiences. Why four stars instead of five? I was irritated at the beginning of this book because it felt like Brene fell into the language of so many other self-help books with her "c" words and "p" list, and then the number thing--ten guideposts. Ten, seven and three seem to be the magic numbers in books of this genre. I realize it's just a "thing" I have, and that others wouldn't and shouldn't be bothered by it. For me the language shifted somewhere after the first quarter of the book and then I was into it. I feel like I know Brene personally after reading this book. It's revealing and, yes, uncomfortable at times. She's very real and forthcoming. I appreciate the careful and thoughtful research that went into this book. Thank you Brene!

The author writes more about herself than anything you could utilize within your life. Hard pass.

Oprah is a new ager. Not good. Didn't read.

This one was slightly entertaining, but did not deliver on what I perceived from the sales pitch. Kudos to the publicist. Best thing in the book is the difference between shame (you are bad) and guilt (what you did was bad). So I learned something. But the author lacks understanding of what faith is, stating that faith is a place of mystery and questions whether God can be a God of faith when tragedy strikes. The philosophies of this book are founded more in fluff than in truth. Close but not quite there yet.

Brene Brown is a truly gifted human being. Many of the things she says are thoughts/feelings I have had off and on in my life. Her ability to comebine them in a completely honest, genuine, and cohesive way, so they can be understood, absorbed and applied to our lives is a gift beyond measure. Imagine If each of us had the ability to live our lives with authenticity, grace and wholeheartedly while remembering that we are all connected in an essential and beautiful way. The result would nothing short of breath taking, in it's magnificence!

The author posits that one must be spiritual to best fulfill the idea of Wholehearted Living. What she describes are aspects of community and purpose but attributes those to her personal experience in her faith. I imagine someone could go all in to the concepts in the book if they’re an American Christian. Otherwise if you’re going to read this book, I recommend taking notes about the concepts and how to apply them to your life with this bias in mind.

Great book with lovely ways of looking at compassion, forgiveness and learning to love yourself. Many of us find it easier to love others than ourselves, but if we don't love ourselves or live in shame we're falling far short of wholehearted living.

This Author is full of herself! If she used the I anymore times then she did, omg

Loved, loved, loved this book. It hits on many issues most people have today. Learned a lot about perfectionism, but even more, learned things I can do to lessen the power it has over me. Filled with great and practical experiences that I could pull from. Recommend it to anyone in recovery wanting to grow spiritually. I am going back thru it and taking notes on the HIGH POINTS that touched me personally. Will go back to as reference in the future. Thank you Brene' Brown. Looking forward to reading more of her books.

Love this book and the way the author shares her own personal struggles. Very good insight and helpful information for those that are always trying to please others and put the stress of being perfect upon themselves.

I love the practical approach of not looking to break the condition of perfectionism, but learn how it manifests in you and how to break the shame and weight of not being enough. I need the research to show that perfect isn't best. This book took me a while to finish because I had to digest it slowly. It will most likely be something I refer back to or re-read a chapter when I struggle in the future. Embracing who we are is not a one and done thing...it will be a process.

I will keep this very short. I love Brene and what I love so much about her is: 1. She is qualified as a researcher and academic, 2. She is qualified in her personal experience and she qualifies herself in this regard without making her writing about her - she understands her purpose, 3. She keeps it light, 4. She keeps it very readable. I read Spirituality of Imperfection and I love this idea of "Gifts" or "Spirituality" of imperfection because it certainly is my experience and it is quite joyful to learn and explore this and even supercharge it. The difference between the two books is readability. The "Spirituality of Imperfection" is not an easy read in my experience. "The Gifts of Imperfection..." can be absorbed while sitting at Starbucks or a few pages at a time before bed. As a highly educated and experienced researcher, I know Brene could pitch this high and inside but she doesn't. And that makes me dig her even more.

Brene Brown simply reveals the core of basic human pain..... holding shame and an unwillingness to be vulnerable. Her wisdom and personal experiences are easy to read and relate to. In my opinion, her work gets better and continues to evolve in the next book Daring Greatly. I want to say I enjoyed "Daring Greatly" more than "Gifts of Imperfection", but I read Daring Greatly first. I wonder if my excitement of the initial revelations of her wisdom were no longer new by the time I read Gifts of Imperfection. Either way, I loved both books immensely and recommend them to all my friends, and give them out as gifts. If you haven't seen her interview on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, it's a treat and is a wonderful re-cap to her books and her findings.

Read this for a class. There really isn't anything in here that you've never heard before. "Just be yourself." Just more feel-good self-help nonsense. It is a very informal read. You won't really gain new knowledge from this. You will just nod "yes, that's me" and turn the page. Don't go out of your way to read this unless it is required reading.

Simple principles of life that we often forget about or take for granted. If you look for a book that encourages you to be yourself, follow your dreams and not focus on what the world says you should be then this book is for you. I enjoyed the quotes and the use of definitions to illustrate exactly how we all can live a simple health life by changing our thoughts and just embrace our inner child to remember what is to have a life full of laughter, song and dance.

About two years ago I went into a therapy program to determine to what extent,if any, I was suffering from PTSD. Turns out my PTSD was and is minor. During this process I was diagnosed with ADHD, from early childhood! After Seventy plus years of living with this condition, trying to control it's impact, I retired. I now had no outside force, my employer, to continue controlling my mouth (brain). I Literally went to hell. Fast forward, today and your books. My therapist has established my issues in my life and without any doubt in my mind has greatly alter my behavior. Your books have given me a deep understanding of courage, vulnerability, shame, perfection, scarcity,.... Finally, I had forgotten Mr. Roosevelt speech at Sorbonne. Thank you

Easy to digest language. Relatable narratives. Encouraging. Feels real and not hard core data driven. Worth the time to read and think about for a gradual shift to feel stronger about yourself.

"The Gifts of Imperfection" provided me with practical steps to take to improve my outlook on life and on myself. It is not just a "feel good" read. It is a manual that allows you to evaluate where you are and how to make changes. I had not realized the unhealthy relationship that I had with myself, and also how my harsh critiques of myself were impacting my ability to make meaningful relationships with others in my life. The book is an easy read, FILLED to the brim with words of wisdom. Brene Brown willingly shows you her soul, which makes it that much easier to be brave and look into your own and start making changes. I have ordered multiple copies for my friends and cannot express enough my gratitude for how this book has changed my life.

I read this in one sitting; well, while in bed with the flu. What an incredible perspective on "self help," when a person is becoming aware of their personal powerlessness to control their own vicious cycle of repetitive behavior. Digesting this data, dealing with shame and forgiving themselves are all positive steps toward moving forward. The 10 guideposts were well researched and presented. I can see where such a book could become studied individually or as a group, in a retreat or presented to faith groups. After one thorough reading I plan on doing one guidepost at a time applying them to my life. With 10 guideposts, I believe there's a great deal of change in my future. I plan on combining a study of this book with my daily Bible devotion. 1/1/2014 "The old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) 1/2/2014 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12 (NIV) Great insights from the author. I appreciate the research she put into this and am grateful for her transparency and vulnerability woven throughout the book. It makes tough challenges easier to digest.

Love this book. A good eye opener for me because I wanted everything to be perfect. But imperfections are the most wonderful things a person can have. Makes them human more than a robot.

I loved every single part of this book and reread many of the pages. Such beautiful advice! Within the past 6 months I've been feeling a little low and depressed, and one of my family members recommended this book. I've really made an effort to soak in the words and to really try to understand my thoughts and feelings, to be kinder to myself, and to feel joyful for the blessings in my life. I love to reflect on positive quotes and to read books that help me grow to be a better and happier person. Especially during this time when I've been feeling depressed, this book really helps me be stronger. Even though I finished it, I find myself picking out bits and pieces any day - it is a guide book that you can refer to time and time again. My sister and I started a blog that reflects on a daily inspiration quote, in order to appreciate life and feel happy thoughts! One of the posts was on Brene Brown's quote in this book, "Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is." We should accept that we are worthy now, of love and belonging, the gifts that God gave us.

I bought this book many many moons ago at the store. I read it once.. Then twice with a highlighter and journal! This book was my holy Grail... Until I lent it to a neighbor... 3 years later I'm lost without it. Delivered quick I'm on round 3 with my highlighter. This is a real and raw book about learning to love yourself as you are and how to improve without attempting perfection.. Because we all know our goals are always at the top, never actually attainable. Love your mile stones and stay present, grateful and live wholeheartedly ❤

Contains lots of really bad swearing

Obviously everyone’s going to have their own opinions, but in mind, I think Brené Brown is one of the wisest, studied persons in human psychology. I have read a few of her books and I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. This one, I absolutely love! A great purchase for you or someone you love.

I have loved this book since the first time I read it and I am so excited about this beautiful hardcover anniversary edition.

My wife and I have been having a really hard time lately and all of our breakdowns (spiritual Awakenings) are due to Self doubt and my wife keep telling me how awful she is and that it’s her not me. I came across this book from a friend so I thought I would read it to try and help my wife Love herself. Instead, I found the research to be very informative and there are some items that I noticed in my life that could use improving. Trust me I Love myself too much but that’s not the issue. The issue is that I never understood why my wife doesn’t love herself until I read this book. The world and the barriers to whole hearted living is everything that I didn’t realize that she experiences. Now it’s Her job to read this and learn some simple steps in her journey.

great book and great author. She does write a bit like a researcher, but I have enjoyed this book very much and have found so many of her tenets to be both valid and applicable to who I am, where I came from, and how shame and insecurity (as well as self doubt) have affected me in my daily life, my relationships, my family, and my career. I agree it must be hard to research and write about shame, and all of the emotions that go along with that, but this book speaks volumes on that subject and I am sure that it is probably a valuable book for almost everyone to read. I would recommend reading this PRIOR to reading "Daring Greatly", as it introduces so many key concepts that she further extrapolates on in that book. I only gave it 4 stars because I have read so many other "5-star" books by other authors in the past that were both gripping and life-changing. Maybe it was hard to compete with that!

The strength of Brene Brown's "Gifts of Imperfection" lies in two things: clear information and straightforward brevity. I read this book on my Kindle, and the pages/chapters seemed to fly by, which is a good thing, because often "self-help" books (which I'm hesitant to categorize this as...) seem to take quite a while to get to the point, and by that time I'm sort of over reading them. There's so much I want to remember that I have to start taking notes, and then it becomes more like some sort of an assignment than something that is life-shifting. But Brown's book is succinct and not at all sentimental, which I truly appreciated. There's straightforward information based on years of research she has done, and it's presented in a way that's incredibly appealing for anyone reading. Basically, Brown shares the knowledge she's gleaned, shares maybe one or two examples (often from her own life in a "pull-no-punches" style), gives a few suggestions of how to shake things up a little, and then moves on to the next topic. I *really* loved that about the book. As you read, it feels like you are making progress instead of getting caught up in a riptide of new behavior. I know that's a weird way to explain it, but it's refreshing, in a way, to read something like this and feel like you are immediately being empowered to just stop thinking and start making a change. Reading it was more of an experience and a short lesson in what she calls "Wholehearted Living." I finished the book a few days ago and I'm STILL thinking about it. I really recommend this book for anyone who is interested in living a more authentic life (topics such as gratitude, spirituality [not religion!], joy, play, honesty are covered) and wants to get moving in the right direction without following some person program set out by one of the many self-help gurus out there.

I think we can become something we don't want that strays far from human and wholehearted as long as we are striving to be perfect. Brene Brown leaves no stone unturned as she examines her own data -studying the most content (she calls them wholehearted) people around and why they feel that way. We have been striving for perfection so much today that it emcomapsses our lives and clolors all we do, making life so much more difficult, distracted and really impossible. Lilly Tomlin and Jane Wagner once said that "even if you win the rat race youre still just a rat." I think we can become something we don't want that strays far from human and wholehearted as long as we are striving to be perfect. Perfect is impossible but we can die trying to get there anyway but is that really what you want to spend your life doing? That is what this book is about including looking at vulnerability, shame and so much more. It is refreshing and brilliant. So if you want a better life with more meaningful relationships, this is a book for you.

This book is a life-changer. Her knowledge has me trying things I’ve never done before, and learning what’s behind my fears and self doubt. Textbook for loving yourself and then others.

I really enjoyed this book for a couple of reasons. I have a hard time finishing books after I start them because most books can't hold my attention. This one did and it was very easy to read. It gave me some great things to think about in terms of how I approach relationships in life as well as how I approach my attitude towards myself. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that wants to learn more about accepting who you are and some theories in how to make that happen.

This book was amazing to me at first and seemed liked it was written just for me. But what I noticed was that it just defined everything. And it did a good job at that for sure. It totally made sense to me in every aspect of what she was saying. But then I was left with and now what? It seemed that all the book did was define everything, but did not really go deep into the next step of putting a plan into action. If this book did that I would easily say it was the best book I ever read.

This is the first book I have read by Brene Brown. I am in a group that has recommended all of her books. I took away some great points from this book but it referenced her other book frequently which is frustrating since I wanted to read that book. I often re-read my PD books but this one I do not plan on re-reading

I like that this is a shorter read and that the author draws from her own experiences and shares stories. I found the book felt more like an “introduction” to rethinking and letting go vs. actionable steps on HOW to begin and follow through on that process. It’s a short read, so easy to pick up and come back to at any time. Good intro to who the author is and her other materials.

I don't usually read these sorts of touchy-feely books and get anything from them apart from common sense repeated back at me and $15 less dollars in my wallet, but this book was different. You need to watch her TED talks to get what shes referring to some of the time. If you're thinking of this book and haven't seen her TED talks, watch those first. If they resonate with you, get this book. it's awesome. Really helped me finally realize that my being a "perfectionist" and being so hard on myself all the times I didn't meet my unrealistic standards was really just counterproductive. This book really did change my life. I am so much happier and so much kinder to myself these days..

This was the first book my therapist suggested to me and I couldn't be happier she did. There was alot of self reflection in this book and figuring out how I can overcome previous bad habits. I will he re-reading this again to use the note section this time to really sink it this book. It definitely helps someone understand their way of thinking on life.

Love this book. Insightful. Life changing. I have stage 4 cancer and am enlightened by what it takes to live wholeheartedly. Short and to the point. My sister recommended it. I’m better for reading it.

I enjoyed the first half of the book much more than the second half of it. Points are discussed more in detail in the first half whereas the chapters in the second half are short and kind of repeating the same things as the first couple chapters. I don't mind that the author has given her personal life experiences as supporting examples for her points. I think the chapters in the second half of the book could very well be regarded as subsequent sections within the only few longer chapters in the beginning. I could use some of the guidelines from the book - though some changes are hard to make in life. Definitely feel better after reading this book.

This book is a serious must-read if you want to work towards the best life you could be living, in a super practical way. I read it a year ago by recommendation of my therapist and did not even know I needed it. I am now re-reading it in this new form because it's so helpful. Brene is super realistic and grounded which is often hard to find in self-help. Can't recommend more.

Wonderful book, that really helps you understand that what we each may see as imperfections in ourselves can actually be a gift. How we can use them. Really enjoyed the book and felt I realized that what I had originally thought was an imperfection in myself, was not and could be used in a very positive manner.

This is a great book. Brene Brown is so profound. And yet, the book and her advice is so easy to understand. I love Brene’s quotes, I embrace all of them.

Propelled me into a new way of looking at the things in my life that have really held me back from participating fully and engaging with my whole heart. Where I often got hurt if I was vulnerable before, I now can look at those same things without the knives being inserted into my heart, in fact, this started a journey of getting real with the most important people in my life. Now when something happens that would have triggered shame in the past, I am able to deal with it in the present and notice that there is no longer a knife protruding from my bleeding heart. Now I have the courage to address the immediate situation and the feelings attached only to that, and believe me, that is a freedom that is worth its weight in therapy! It does allow a new connection to people free of old wounds and hindrances that the new relationship would suffer from if that old baggage were brought along for the ride. I have also enjoyed everything else she has written or spoken, and will continue to follow her journey of inner exploration, as she has a true gift for sharing that in a way that allows others to do their own work and yet feel like they are never traveling alone!

I love that Dr. Brown is so open and honest about her own faults, her own shameful moments and her epiphanies. Reading this book is like having a conversation with a good friend, someone who's been there and come out the other side. She was just what I needed while struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, and a loss of self-identity. Thank you, Dr.Brown.

Lots of good advice in here, but I found it a bit boring. Insights are based on Brené Browns research which is fine, but not my cup of tea I suppose. I was kind of bummed because I’ve had this book on my wishlist for YEARS and it took me so long to buy it. My therapist said it was her favorite Brené Brown book which is what made me pull the trigger but I found it to be “quotable” with little substance. This is my first Brené book so I’m not giving up yet since it’s a bit older. I do enjoy her TED Talk and some of her YouTube videos are good, but this one just wasn’t for me

What I liked the most is Dr. Brown speaks to exactly who I am in my everyday life. This book isn't about developing coping strategies for struggles. It points out what I already know such as listening to my intuition, but fail to exercise out of fear of how I will be perceived by myself and others. It's about embracing who you already are but hide and it is ok to come out. She encourages us to embrace our uniqueness not in the touchy feely cliche way of saying, " you're special you can do anything" and it rings empty. It's about looking at yourself and saying, "I am worthy of love. I am already feeling and doing these things at times. I will do more of it."

This book needs to be read with an open and soulful search of one's self. Her guide posts really reflect on those inextricable connections in all humans. So very interesting how society, perceptions, and status sabotage, disguise , and shame us from seeing and experiencing Wholehearted Living. She goes into powerful concepts in a very relatable way. - A must have book to reference and check one's self throughout one's time on this planet.

Enjoyed this book a lot. Practical ideas for living and loving your life. Highly recommend also to anyone who needs more balance in their life.

I’m surprised that I hadn’t read this, the book that got Brene Brown started, before. I listened to the entire audiobook in a single sitting, and I purchased the Kindle version in order to revisit it at a more leisurely and deliberate pace over and over again. The essential message here about cultivating courage, compassion, and connection is vital to anyone who wants to live a whole-hearted life. It really is more than a self-help book, partly because of Brown’s accessible scholarship and partly because of her down to earth, relatable storytelling persona. Listening to this book is like having a chat with an entertaining trustworthy friend who has discovered an amazing secret she just needs to let you in on.

This book doesn't disappoint. In fact, I'd say that it might be one of the top 5 involving the theme of self development. The author lays out her material very clearly and her ability to do this without , "blaming the victim" is noteworthy. We all have insecurities and this book really addresses how our greatest challenges can also be our most useful assets. Really worth reading. I actually downloaded the audiobook and then ended up purchasing the print version because it was that powerful.

Brown's take on our struggles with perfectionism and being enough in a world that makes rigid demands on who and what we should be is down-to-earth and reasonable. She doesn't claim that authenticity is easy or even that we can reach a point where it is easy. Rather she says we can become better at living authentically and avoiding the pitfalls of perfectionism only through practice. She is not preachy, but practical.

If our goal in life is perfection, we'll fall short always. We're not built to be perfect. "The Gifts of Imperfection" gives 10 guideposts (backed by years and years of research and thousands of interviews) on how to live a whole-hearted life, rather than a perfect life. Brene Brown explains that our imperfections are gifts, because they give us courage, compassion, and connection. These gifts are what make us human, and embracing them will allow us to live full lives. It's a beautiful book full of profound wisdom that I highly, highly recommend.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel shame/guilt a lot? Then this book is for you. Prepare to feel uncomfortable but it will absolutely help change your perspective.

I'm not terribly well versed in the self help genre. In fact 2/3 self help books I've read have been Brene Brown's books, but that's because they're so damn good. She's not trying to fix you in Three Easy Steps or anything. This is some real talk, and it can hit really close to home. There were some sections where I had to put my Kindle down and have a little cry. Reading her worrying is like hearing the things you know but don't want to acknowledge from your best friend. It's scary to let go of what you think you know, but she's always right there telling you it's ok to be scared and cheering you on.

Anyone who truly wants to live a wholehearted existence and truly "live life" needs to read this book. It shows you how to deal with shame and guilt and perfectionism, how to "dig deep" and be mindful. The nice thing about Brene Brown is that she's a work in process and doesn't pretend to have all the answers, she's willing to show the vulnerability and difficulty with which she learned these lessons. Although I'm somewhat of a new agey person, it's nice to have a grounded research perspective of why we need to strive for authenticity in our lives. A worthwhile and accessible book for every person on the planet.

This book breaks down the reality of what we’re made of in a way that is so easy to see in our own daily lives. And then there are the facades we show the public, so they will see only our best qualities. But it’s hard to see our goodness through the facades. We have so many facades to discover and discard, it’s like a mountain. Maybe now is a good time for a shovel.

Brene Brown’s qualitative research about wholehearted living and the how to overcome the challenges we face is told in a funny, witty and entertaining way! In typical no-B.S. Brene fashion, this book will inspire you! A must read in our crazy, uptight, and stressed out world!!

Brene Brown has been catapulted into near celebrity status after her TEDx talk and appearance on OWN with Oprah. I love BB's work but the researcher in me wanted more details about her methods and the data behind some of her insights and advice. That said, the book is written in a very informal, conversational style --almost as if you are talking with Brene one-on-one (clearly written and marketed to the casual reader and not other researchers and academics). You can pick up and finish this book in a few evenings. But that's also what's so deceptive about it: There is tremendous wisdom and insight to be gleaned vis-a-vis the deeper meanings and the broader social context of what Brene has identified in spiritual, social, psychological aspects of our fractured, if not tragic, American consciousness. This reader found it useful to delve into the notes at the end of the book to find a few of the Thought Leaders who have informed BB's research & work.

This book has changed my life! This book has helped me internalize that I am human and I do not have to be and am not expected to be super woman. It has helped me build a stronger relationship with my husband (who has also read it) by being willing to be vulnerable and it has helped me better understand many of my friendships. I cannot recommend this book enough!!! Buy it!!!

Reading this book helped me discern and come to an empowered and intelligent place on many of the cultural issues that I learned as a child that thwart my authenticity as an adult. This book is for everyone who can see and acknowledge the noise around them about how they "should be" but can't figure out how to make decisions about being another way. It's an amazing resource for educating yourself on what's really available to you in terms of your behavior. 100% loved it and I am super grateful for the lady who introduced me to it.

There's probably not a lot I can add to the other stellar reviews for this book. Suffice it to say my copy has a lot of dog-eared pages. In particular, I liked the section about that by numbing ourselves to the dark, and refusing to open ourselves up to the possibility of vulnerability due to fear, we also numb ourselves to the potential of light. The linkage between perfectionism and shame also was illuminating. I'll be thinking of this book for a long time, including this challenging question: "What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?"

I read this book while also listening to her audio version "The Power of Vulnerability". The audio version was recommended to me by my doctor. I was tired of feeling stressed out and in constant turmoil. I don't think I would call this a self help book, it is more of an awakening of my behaviors. I will take her suggestions on the changes and see if I can make my GREMLINS shrink or even disappear. I would suggest anyone that finds they are in constant conflict or in a state of confusion read this as well as listen to the audio. It helped me to get a better understanding of what has lead to some of my turmoil.

My book has a slight fold in the cover. Overall this book gets a 3/5 star. There are easier reads out there as "self help" books go. This book is very short but full of technical reading if that's what you're into. I found it hard to stay interested even though it was so short.

For many years I have feel that I have been running a marathon to reach I don't know what. Every time I come across a theory of the human condition or about the humanity of the human I feel the longing of a better and more connected world. This reading has put many of my anxiety and depression concerns into light and has given me hope to have faith that the time will come when we all will be sharing a common goal. Love.

Brene' captured vital areas where we can all learn the value of self. It is true. We are all ENOUGH. She brings to light the very core of how we can overcome the pressures we put on ourselves and the unrealistic pressures we put on others. This is a MUST read for anyone who struggles with worthiness, self-doubt, failure, lack of confidence, self-esteem, and the need to accept who we are, as we are. Thank you Brene'.

Ok so I was going to a counselor and she suggested this book. I’m a people pleaser and she thought I might benefit. Wow!!! Unbelievable great read. I’ve since purchased it for my Sister, Son, and Daughter. It’s seriously just being the best version of yourself and appreciating your gift of imperfection. I’ve read it through twice. The second time around I highlighted things that were just to good not to read over and over. Brene is just one of those Authors that writes in a magical way!!!!

Exactly what I needed

Though I do not work in the field, and therefore hate to be too critical, I do not feel the author's points were well enough explained. Parts that especially baffling used her own jargon, which I was not sure how to interpret. More practical application of the suggestions and solutions in the book also would have been appreciated. Maybe she has another book for that.

Bought this for my niece who just graduated college. It's one of those books that I personally go back to again and again when I need some assurance about embracing who I am. It's an incredible book, built mostly around what are Buddhist ideas of presence and awareness but in very practical, every day terms. There are 3 central ideas of Courage, Compassion, and Connection as intrinsic strengths that can be tapped into. I am especially drawn to the idea of Connection with others as both an outgrowth of my imperfect self and a state that really does bring peace and happiness.

i like brene brown a lot. like what she has to say. but....if you watch her talks online, you will have read the book. she doesn't have a whole lot left to say. she repeats her thoughts in many ways but they all come out the same. many folks out there packaging this same info but different ways of saying the same thing work for different people. Brene Brown's way works for me. I like her. a lot. but bought two books and well, not getting much out of them I didn't get from TED x 2 or hour long interview with Oprah online. if you learn better by reading, buy it. she's good. like I said, like her alot just gets repetitious. some need to hear it over and over to get it tho. so... be your own judge. as for brene, she's great. easy to understand and kind.

If you’re in your 30s-50s and struggle with perfectionism and cultural pressures, this book is so liberating. I’m not even halfway through it. I’m doing a stufy with a group of ladies and the podcasts are amazing too. Go to BreneBrown.com to listen! You WONT be sorry!!!!!

if you like self-centered authors, this is the book for you!

Brene Brown's work completely resonates with me because I am a people pleaser by nature who never wants to experience anyone's disapproval. I want everyone to "like" me, even though I know that is impossible, but this is the underlying foundation to most of my weaknesses and struggles. Her work with shame and how to manage it (and more importantly acknowledge it) are key! Also important: how shame is intertwined with so many people pleasing characteristics. She lays the groundwork to work into being liberated so that you can be your authentic self instead of what you think others want to see. Powerful! I would recommend this book to anyone, but especially people who can't say no, who avoid conflict like the plague, or don't know who they really are. Excellent life-changing read!

The language of psychology and self help has gone through many cycles since my first psych class in 1956. We've gone through: Win-win, win lose-lose lose, I'm Ok-you're ok cycle and various ownership cycles. Brene Brown talks about owning and loving who we are including the imperfections and vulnerabilities that make us who we are. She talks about the negative voices we all hear and repeat to ourselves and how to accept who we are warts and all. I appreciate and accept what she has to say. In my case, at my age, I have a really good and happy life. I say many of the negative things to myself. Ie you are such a glutton, but at this stage I mostly say, so? The parts that relate to me most are the parts that talk about our relations with people, establishing and maintaining connection. I am not good at that, and I no longer try very hard. Instead, I happily lead a pretty solitary life with my pets and that suits me just fine. For younger people, her guideposts for establishing and maintaining connection are valuable indeed.

This book held a mirror to my soul and forced me to look at myself in new light. As a perfectionist, what I saw in the mirror was ugly, but true. Dr. Brown's words have set me on a path of discovery about myself that I hope will end in courage and connection as a much better version of myself: worthy, vulnerable, and belonging.

I tried to get the most benefit of it but I could not!! It is all about her research.. So boring and difficult to relate to life

Just finished the book! Enjoyed it to the end. I was she elaborated more in the book plus I didn’t want it to end. It didn’t feel like a self help book which I enjoyed more because it was a very good read and really one of the only books I could continue reading without stopping!

Brown provides great foundational insight for anyone who wants to begin to build a life of self-examined growth. As someone who works in mental health and substance abuse, I found the concepts she presents to be accurate and easily digested in her signature folksy style.

Wholehearted living. Aha, yep heard of it, but not sure what it means nor whether you're living it? Brene's book goes a long way to helping you discover the what and the how of living a wholehearted life. Brene's recommendations are all based on quality research that she has performed as well as other various experts she engages through the discovery process she outlines through the book. This is a practical book. But what is so special about it is that it's also Brene's journey. She's not speaking from the pulpit, rather from the trenches alongside us. She guides, tests ideas, empathises, shares her own failings as she explores the results of the research she's conducted over many years. Being able to say "I'm worthy" or "I am enough" can be very difficult for many of us. This masterful guide is a great place to start in learning how to do just that. Cannot recommend this book, nor its author, enough.

I am not sure why this book is rated so highly. It often times sounds like it is a school assignment paper. I don't need to know what the writer did to retrieve what little information that was presented.

So grateful for this down to earth writer that is so relatable. Thank you Brene for your sincere writing style that always has me singing the tune of hey me too and wow I get that! I love it and highly recommend this book to anyone who just wants to feel better and have more self love!

I didn't know what to expect because I came across this book while purchasing another book on Amazon. This book by far has given me so much perspective on life's challenges and things that I never really thought mattered. I read this book in a week and will read it again ! I even took it on my trip to Miami and while walking back to the hotel I was stopped by a woman who simply said " that is such a great book"! I can't stop recommending this book to people. This book is a must read regardless if you think your life is in order or not.

The title interested me because I have never thought of my imperfections as gifts. The author writes a lot about her own search for living authentically and wholeheartedly and breaks the process down in a way that is very specific to accomplishing this way of living. She opens herself up and shows her own vulneralbility in a very refreshing, honest way.Our world teaches us that we must look a certain way, accomplish certain things, raise our children a certain way, etc. to be happy; however, this book guides you to a realistic perspective about joy, happiness, gratitude, self acceptance, having genuine relationships, enjoying your life and much more. I downloaded it on my Kindle but after reading part of it, I realized this was a book I wanted to underline portions of, dog ear pages and keep to refer to. This is one of those books I will go back to at times for a reality check.

We are holding ourselves to such standards - and too many of us are losing ourselves and our best selves as an outcome. Learning about those things that hindering us from becoming wholehearted is the best struggle to step into. Thanks for the work Brene Brown.

It is great to read a well researched book that speaks in plain english. Brene masterfully weaves everyday stories into her findings to relate and reinforce the theme. It's an easy read and highly informative with numerous practical tactics to put into action the findings to live a more fulfilling, wholehearted life.

I have panic and anxiety issues. I've purchased other self-help books and workbooks. None did as much for me as this book. I've purchased about 5 copies and given them to friends. Mine was a gift from a friend and was THE best gift I have ever received. It seriously changed my life. Brene is funny and easy to read and you can relate to her bc she's been there. Her stories make you realize you are not alone.