Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids: A guide to raising sexually healthy, informed, empowered young people

As with many self published and small press books, I found this one through social media. Say what you will about platforms like Instagram and Facebook, they have their benefits. I have been following Melissa Pinto Carnagey for at least a year now out of a desire to be a more sex positive parent to my own children. I was quite excited to see she had a book out and thought it would be a good one to read myself and one to share. Sex Positive Talks is a slim, but helpful, volume of conversation starters for parents. Most of the topics do not deal directly with sex and sexuality despite the title. The book starts with a helpful introduction full of tips and tricks as well as reassurance about the subjects. This is especially helpful if you were not raised in an open, accepting, and empowered household. Chapters on a variety of topics follow from body awareness to gender to sexual orientation to safety and consent to intimacy to media literacy. Within each of these broader topics are more specific ones. Pintor walks parents through discussion around the topic at hand then offers suggestions for things to say to children in a variety of age ranges. If you haven’t had these conversations yet, this is incredibly helpful for kickstarting them. Each conversation starter also offers the rationale behind why it’s phrased as it is. These are followed by thought/journal prompts for adults to assess their own comfort level with the topics and helps you dive into where your beliefs about these topics might come from. As a parent the book was very reassuring that I have been approaching most of these topics already. I appreciate the journal prompts most because for the topics I can feel my discomfort around it is helpful to excavate where that comes from and root it out. I want my kids to be better prepared and way more empowered than I ever felt around sex, sexuality, gender. etc. Now, I know in libraries books that have sex in the title and discuss sexuality can be controversial. But one of the purposes of the libraries is to make materials available to people. This is a really important resource for parents, especially those raising liberated and shame-free children. Many parents may be interested in this book, but won’t find it unless it’s in a library collection. Others may not be able to purchase their own copy despite needing and wanting the information in it. Allowing the boogey man of a disgruntled conservative patron keep you from putting this book proudly on your shelf should not deter you. Neither should your own discomfort with the subjects. This is a really important resource for parents and it needs to be and deserves to be on library shelves as well as personal shelves. School libraries should consider it they have collections for parents.

I have a preschooler and I love that this book gives parents a really good sense of how to talk about sex/bodies/etc. with kids of different ages. I felt like I could take a lot away from it as a parent of a preschooler but I also plan on revisiting it every few years to reset and get a better sense at each stage. I also loved that it was concise. I didn't have to wade through pages of fluff, it's to the point and short. I recommend this book all the time to fellow parents!

First, I'd like to address some apparent confusion as to whom this book is for. It's right there in the title - Sex Positive. If you're a person who thinks that masturbation is morally wrong, or that kids shouldn't be taught about LGBTQ+ issues (including gender issues), then you're not sex positive and this book isn't for you. For those of us who are sex positive, but still feel awkward or uncertain about how to talk to our kids about these issues (largely because, chances are, nobody talked to us about them when we were kids), this book is fantastically helpful. It's really as much about helping parents to figure out exactly how we feel about each topic as it is about giving us prompts to help with actually talking to our kids. It's a slim book, a fast read, and very approachable. I wish I'd had this when my son was younger because so many of the concepts involve building up understanding over the course of years (for example, teaching little kids about bodily autonomy feeds into a lot of conversations about things like sexual consent later on). I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to raise sex positive kids but needs a place to start, or even just some ideas on how to bring topics up in an age appropriate way.

i thought this was an excellent book if you were talking to a girl so. unfortunately, i'm trying to have a talk with a boy. it would have been 5 stars but i removed a star for that reason. i'm still on the hunt for a good sex positive talk book for boys

Bought this to help us form an approach for our 6 year old's Qs about bodies and babies but also for ideas of how to make sure both kids feel comfortable talking to us about their Qs as they get older. It was not as dense as I expected - definitely less of a text and more of a workbook on HOW to talk than a reference guide for details to share or the actual mechanics of development. If not following the prompts, it can be easily read in one sitting. But I think it will be helpful to check back in with this now and again to make sure I'm centering the values I want to, and scaffolding the future conversations when kids are tweens/teens so they will not be nearly as horrible and awkward as my own were! Also good way to make sure my co-parent understands the approach I want us to take without them needing to read the many many articles and books I have read on the subject.

In a world in which it’s often uncomfortable to talk to children about bodies and sex, it can be difficult to know whom to trust. How many books do I need to read to be prepared for these discussions? If you only choose one, "Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids" is it. Inclusive of all families, bodies, and genders, "Sex Positive Talks..." invites you to write out your thoughts (and I do love a book with spaces to write in!), reflect on your upbringing and values, and make a plan for talking with children. Honest and shame-free, Melissa Pintor Carnagey shares their own struggles, letting readers know that we all may fumble wording but that it’s never too late to start healthy conversations. "Sex Positive Talks..." is not just a “how-to” guide, it’s an encouragement to be prepared, brave, and open with the children in your life.

Melissa cuts to the chase: giving kids, at every age, factually correct information about their bodies keeps them safe and healthy, and builds further trust between kids and their caregivers. I am so grateful for the ways that Melissa’s work in this book and across platforms, has given me confidence to speak openly with my children about their bodies; her guidance has also helped me in moments I didn’t know I’d encounter with young children (convos about masturbation were navigated with ease bc I was *prepared, not scared,* as she writes!). This book is a great introduction to her work, but also serves as an anchor of the new core sex ed ideas that support young people in a variety of ways. The book also helped me find additional resources that helped me extend our home sex ed library and activities. I can’t say enough good- I’ve bought it for myself and for other mom friends and family.

This book is written so well and with pictures and infographics that are easy to decipher and even calming. The book helps folks who learn from visuals as well as from reading. It's my go to for helping other parents when there is a sticky sexuality based topic that comes up or when I want to look at what's the best sex positive approach to try and prevent as much shame as possible. Going through by topic or age is also super helpful as I'm able to go exactly where I need or read straight through. Great work. I'm glad to have this resource. Every school and family needs to have it too.

This comprehensive guide is a must have for any adult who loves and cares for a young person! It is extremely rich in information and guidance to support caring adults in raising sexually healthy young people and to ensure young people get the important education and support they need to thrive in our society. Melissa has thought of everything -- every topic, every conversation starter, every question one may have when having "the talks" with young people of all ages. Between this book and the Sex Positive Families website, anything you need to feel confident and become informed is right at your fingertips. Thank you so much for your hard work to make safer spaces for youth and to create a more sex positive society!!!

I received my book and I can not put it down. I have two boys 6/8 and I love that this book has areas by age. I can look up conversation starters by their age. Not only will this book allow me to speak to my children in a way they understand, it gives me the courage and the proper prep and medical language to answer their questions in a way that shows I am a trusted adult. I also, love that the book can grow with my boys. This resource is amazing and this book will help me be the parent I did not have as a child when it was time to have these sex positive talks.

As with many self published and small press books, I found this one through social media. Say what you will about platforms like Instagram and Facebook, they have their benefits. I have been following Melissa Pinto Carnagey for at least a year now out of a desire to be a more sex positive parent to my own children. I was quite excited to see she had a book out and thought it would be a good one to read myself and one to share. Sex Positive Talks is a slim, but helpful, volume of conversation starters for parents. Most of the topics do not deal directly with sex and sexuality despite the title. The book starts with a helpful introduction full of tips and tricks as well as reassurance about the subjects. This is especially helpful if you were not raised in an open, accepting, and empowered household. Chapters on a variety of topics follow from body awareness to gender to sexual orientation to safety and consent to intimacy to media literacy. Within each of these broader topics are more specific ones. Pintor walks parents through discussion around the topic at hand then offers suggestions for things to say to children in a variety of age ranges. If you haven’t had these conversations yet, this is incredibly helpful for kickstarting them. Each conversation starter also offers the rationale behind why it’s phrased as it is. These are followed by thought/journal prompts for adults to assess their own comfort level with the topics and helps you dive into where your beliefs about these topics might come from. As a parent the book was very reassuring that I have been approaching most of these topics already. I appreciate the journal prompts most because for the topics I can feel my discomfort around it is helpful to excavate where that comes from and root it out. I want my kids to be better prepared and way more empowered than I ever felt around sex, sexuality, gender. etc. Now, I know in libraries books that have sex in the title and discuss sexuality can be controversial. But one of the purposes of the libraries is to make materials available to people. This is a really important resource for parents, especially those raising liberated and shame-free children. Many parents may be interested in this book, but won’t find it unless it’s in a library collection. Others may not be able to purchase their own copy despite needing and wanting the information in it. Allowing the boogey man of a disgruntled conservative patron keep you from putting this book proudly on your shelf should not deter you. Neither should your own discomfort with the subjects. This is a really important resource for parents and it needs to be and deserves to be on library shelves as well as personal shelves. School libraries should consider it they have collections for parents.

I have a preschooler and I love that this book gives parents a really good sense of how to talk about sex/bodies/etc. with kids of different ages. I felt like I could take a lot away from it as a parent of a preschooler but I also plan on revisiting it every few years to reset and get a better sense at each stage. I also loved that it was concise. I didn't have to wade through pages of fluff, it's to the point and short. I recommend this book all the time to fellow parents!

First, I'd like to address some apparent confusion as to whom this book is for. It's right there in the title - Sex Positive. If you're a person who thinks that masturbation is morally wrong, or that kids shouldn't be taught about LGBTQ+ issues (including gender issues), then you're not sex positive and this book isn't for you. For those of us who are sex positive, but still feel awkward or uncertain about how to talk to our kids about these issues (largely because, chances are, nobody talked to us about them when we were kids), this book is fantastically helpful. It's really as much about helping parents to figure out exactly how we feel about each topic as it is about giving us prompts to help with actually talking to our kids. It's a slim book, a fast read, and very approachable. I wish I'd had this when my son was younger because so many of the concepts involve building up understanding over the course of years (for example, teaching little kids about bodily autonomy feeds into a lot of conversations about things like sexual consent later on). I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to raise sex positive kids but needs a place to start, or even just some ideas on how to bring topics up in an age appropriate way.

i thought this was an excellent book if you were talking to a girl so. unfortunately, i'm trying to have a talk with a boy. it would have been 5 stars but i removed a star for that reason. i'm still on the hunt for a good sex positive talk book for boys

Bought this to help us form an approach for our 6 year old's Qs about bodies and babies but also for ideas of how to make sure both kids feel comfortable talking to us about their Qs as they get older. It was not as dense as I expected - definitely less of a text and more of a workbook on HOW to talk than a reference guide for details to share or the actual mechanics of development. If not following the prompts, it can be easily read in one sitting. But I think it will be helpful to check back in with this now and again to make sure I'm centering the values I want to, and scaffolding the future conversations when kids are tweens/teens so they will not be nearly as horrible and awkward as my own were! Also good way to make sure my co-parent understands the approach I want us to take without them needing to read the many many articles and books I have read on the subject.

In a world in which it’s often uncomfortable to talk to children about bodies and sex, it can be difficult to know whom to trust. How many books do I need to read to be prepared for these discussions? If you only choose one, "Sex Positive Talks to Have With Kids" is it. Inclusive of all families, bodies, and genders, "Sex Positive Talks..." invites you to write out your thoughts (and I do love a book with spaces to write in!), reflect on your upbringing and values, and make a plan for talking with children. Honest and shame-free, Melissa Pintor Carnagey shares their own struggles, letting readers know that we all may fumble wording but that it’s never too late to start healthy conversations. "Sex Positive Talks..." is not just a “how-to” guide, it’s an encouragement to be prepared, brave, and open with the children in your life.

Melissa cuts to the chase: giving kids, at every age, factually correct information about their bodies keeps them safe and healthy, and builds further trust between kids and their caregivers. I am so grateful for the ways that Melissa’s work in this book and across platforms, has given me confidence to speak openly with my children about their bodies; her guidance has also helped me in moments I didn’t know I’d encounter with young children (convos about masturbation were navigated with ease bc I was *prepared, not scared,* as she writes!). This book is a great introduction to her work, but also serves as an anchor of the new core sex ed ideas that support young people in a variety of ways. The book also helped me find additional resources that helped me extend our home sex ed library and activities. I can’t say enough good- I’ve bought it for myself and for other mom friends and family.

This book is written so well and with pictures and infographics that are easy to decipher and even calming. The book helps folks who learn from visuals as well as from reading. It's my go to for helping other parents when there is a sticky sexuality based topic that comes up or when I want to look at what's the best sex positive approach to try and prevent as much shame as possible. Going through by topic or age is also super helpful as I'm able to go exactly where I need or read straight through. Great work. I'm glad to have this resource. Every school and family needs to have it too.

This comprehensive guide is a must have for any adult who loves and cares for a young person! It is extremely rich in information and guidance to support caring adults in raising sexually healthy young people and to ensure young people get the important education and support they need to thrive in our society. Melissa has thought of everything -- every topic, every conversation starter, every question one may have when having "the talks" with young people of all ages. Between this book and the Sex Positive Families website, anything you need to feel confident and become informed is right at your fingertips. Thank you so much for your hard work to make safer spaces for youth and to create a more sex positive society!!!

I received my book and I can not put it down. I have two boys 6/8 and I love that this book has areas by age. I can look up conversation starters by their age. Not only will this book allow me to speak to my children in a way they understand, it gives me the courage and the proper prep and medical language to answer their questions in a way that shows I am a trusted adult. I also, love that the book can grow with my boys. This resource is amazing and this book will help me be the parent I did not have as a child when it was time to have these sex positive talks.

An essential read for any parent. So much of what I’ve been searching for to share with my child. The grace of being forward casual and honest in the ongoing dialogue of sex, bodies, boundaries, in a positive, powerful and enlightening way. My daughter’s school doesn’t provide sex education, and while I talk openly and provide a lot of literature... This book’s approach just leaves everyone feeling good. We did a virtual workshop with the author and my kid has just been feeling so much more empowered to be talking with peers, calling out bias and body shaming, and asking honest questions.

I’m a psychologist, an aunt, and hopefully a future parent, and supporting the children in my life to have healthy relationships with sex, sexuality, and gender is a huge priority for me. I read this book cover to cover in one sitting and feel so much more prepared to have empowering conversations about these topics with kids. I love how each topic is broken down into conversation starters and reflection questions for parents/caregivers to consider when the children in their lives are infants, toddlers, preteens, and teenagers. This book and the author’s Instagram account are Incredible resources. I’ll be handing out copies of this book to friends and family!

My mom did a great job of taking about sex with me and my siblings but I want to do a better job for my kid. I want sex to not be a shameful thing. This book is helping me understand how and what to say to my child. Im

Wow! This book is SO informative, and in a simple, straightforward easy to read way. It’s giving me the tools I need to be able to teach my kids healthy boundaries and healthy positive thought processes that I was never taught as a kid. Highly highly recommend getting this book! I want to go purchase one for all of my friends!

This book is both the warm hug and the kick in the butt I need at this very moment. Even as a sexuality educator myself, reading this book spoke directly to my struggles as a parent. Not only is the book beautifully designed, it is easy to follow, thorough and super engaging. It’s a coffee table book for sure!!! Melissa is a GENIUS. I am recommending to every adult who knows, loves, cares for or comes in any proximity of a young person!!!

This book is a priceless resource! It makes talks so accessible and fun. It challenges you to really sit with your own experiences and view before attempting to navigate the talks. But it also provides helpful and easy vocabulary to have the talks with you kiddos. I especially appreciate the age break downs in each topic, which feel more tangible and doable.

I am so incredibly happy to have found Sex Positive Families as a resource on Instagram and their book is everything and more than I had expected it to be. This is essential for all ages, but I have young children and this is perfect for starting our journey to being empowered and informed.

A great start to help us frame our approach. Thanks!

I’ve never left an Amazon review before but this book is so fantastic I just posted on Facebook to instruct every parent I know to buy it. It’s refreshing to have a book that is so perfectly put together. Thank you!!

This book is a game changer for me and my family.