My Sister’s Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile, and Stalin’s Siberia

I just finished reading this book and enjoyed it on so many levels. First there is the story of survival, how a (for all purposes single) mother and young child, through sheer will and determination, suffered and survived the extreme hardships of Stalin's forced labor camp--Poles arrested in 1940 simply for being Polish and forced into hard labor under the extreme hardships of a Siberian prison camp. It's a great story of survival, first in the prison camp, and then on the long, long road to freedom via Persia, India, England, and eventually settling in the United States many years later. It's also a subtle story of love and respect, how two people met in the midst of these extreme hardships and were kind to each other, and how the fates brought them together again, eventually to reunite, wed, and give birth to the author, Donna Solecka Urbikas. It's also a story of understanding, how author Donna Urbikas spent her life trying to understand the foreign-to-her life lived by her mother, half-sister, and father in a land far, far away during a time that is horribly unimaginable, and about all the hardships and tragedies they survived during those long, dark years. And it's also a story about Donna's own life, how she did not want to be like her mother, and yet the best of her mother shines through in her own personal life and struggles. That fierce determination that helped her at that time young mother through those dark years of Siberian exile and the following long road to liberation and freedom are traits that Donna have formed Donna into the determined woman she is today. I think most of us at times, when we're growing up, don't want to be like our parents. But I think we usually are, and it's only later in life that we can appreciate that. Donna tells this part of the story very well, too. This story is wonderfully told, the past interwoven with the present, as Donna works to better understand her mother (and to a lesser extent, her sister and father), and slowly comes to a better understanding of what shaped not only them, but how that experience of growing up in such an environment with such a sad past shaped her and how she deals with her own family. Events from Donna's life with her family are intertwined with the stories her mother told of those dark years in exile, and the result is a story that makes sense, how our past and that of those closest to us shape our own present. I found the move from present to past really enhanced this story. It what I experience at times, sitting around the table, chatting with one of my parents, when all of a sudden some new story about their past surfaces. We are all products of the past of our parents, and this book helps demonstrate that. Next time my folks tell a story, I'll appreciate it all the more--and probably take better notes! I found this book to be a very emotional read, a fantastic story well told, and I highly recommend it.

This book is exceptionally well-written and held my attention, making it a surprising two-day read. Somehow I was expecting a tale of history, more academic in nature, since it's published by a university press. But the core of the book focuses on motherhood, the roots of relationships between a mother and her daughter, and how far a woman is willing to go to survive and protect her child in impossible circumstances. Exile to Siberia is the powerful setting that few outside the Polish community are fully aware of, which adds to the value of this story. The author's mother and her five-year-old daughter were two of hundreds of thousands of Poles forcibly evicted from their homes in February 1940 and then, well, no spoiler alerts here, except that they endure a tortuous journey together. A second key exploration in this book is the author's personal experience of a second-generation survivor of war trauma, as well as being a first-generation immigrant of Polish parents, who can never return to a communist Poland. Then, on top of this, in the second half of the book, the story turned surprisingly personal as she faced many simultaneous trials of being sandwiched between younger children with issues, and aging parents, which is a subject I completely relate to. I suspect I'll be still be thinking about this book in the weeks to come, especially for the first-hand view of deportation to Siberia.

My Sister’s Mother is a very moving account of a young Polish mother’s survival in a Soviet labor camp and later in equally perilous refugee camps. The description of the horrific conditions and the struggle to keep herself and her daughter alive was extraordinarily vivid. It was not just the cold and hunger but the filth and the lice everywhere, all intensely portrayed. At the same time it is also the story of the impact of those experiences on her younger daughter growing up as an American. I really liked the way the two stories – the mother’s past and the daughter’s present – were interwoven and alternating until at the end they converged. This memoir not only illuminates a small hidden corner of history but also reminds us all that no matter how difficult the relationship, in the end we cannot help but carry our parents’ lives within us.

This stunning, heartfelt memoir looks unflinchingly at the scars borne by one Polish immigrant family as their younger daughter tries to become a normal American girl in Chicago while her mother and sister suffer unimaginable pain from their experiences during the Holocaust years. A gripping study of family dynamics, this is also a must-read for scholars of World War II and the horror perpetrated on civilian populations by the Soviets as well as the Nazis. My Sister’s Mother is Donna Solecka Urbikas’s labor of love, based on carefully recorded recollections in her mother’s own voice and supplemented by precious photographs taken by her father, a camera buff, when little of this history was recorded on film. Since 1989, a welcome rash of memoirs about the experience of Poles during the 1940s has brought to the attention of readers and scholars the central role of Poland in World War II and the susequent battle for domination in Europe known as the Cold War. Perhaps the most obliterated aspect of the horrors of this period in history was the mass deportation of Poles by the Soviets to execution, slave labor, or starvation in Siberia. My Sister’s Mother is an authentic record, written from the heart and powerful in its ability to show how, from war to war to war, the conflicts of the 20th century bleed one into the other and linger in our lives today.

This book is about the refugee experience of the author's mother, sister and father. It will deepen the reader's understanding of the refugee experience, which is so relevant today. What sets this book apart from other refugee tales is how this refugee experience affects the American-raised child of the refugees (the author). I appreciated the structure of the story, with the chapters going back and forth in time. One chapter is on their life in America, then the next chapter goes back to war-torn Europe. It's an effective tool that maintains the reader's interest and connects the two parts of the story.The author's descriptions of her mother's life experience are exceptionally vivid. I had no idea that any refugees traveled so far from Poland to various places in the vast former Soviet Union, to Iran, to India, to England and finally finding a home in the United States. It's an amazing story of survival.

I was very excited to read this book since I am researching my Polish family. I know I have relatives there, I just have to find them! This book gave me great insight into what it was like to live in Poland during this terrible time in history. Life, here, was not for the feint of heart and Donna's mother was one strong, courageous woman. The fact that she was able to save not only herself but her daughter, Donna's sister, was a miraculous feat. Donna's relationship with her mother and sister was hampered by the fact that she did not understand the history behind their relationship and difficult journey. As this story unravels it was easier for Donna to understand and I think to "like" her mother. Her love and admiration for her mother also grew and changed over the course of the story. Anyone who is interested in life during World War II or non fictions stories about self realization will enjoy this book. It is not a difficult read and will encourage the reader to reevaluate certain relationships and views on their private lives. Thank you, Donna, for sharing your family's story with us.

I wanted to love this book but I must say I struggled to finish the book. The subject matter was interesting (polish citzens trapped in soviet gulags) but I didn’t like the book’s style of alternating modern/ww2 chapters. I found the style to be jarring. But I would like to say how much i cheered on mira and her mother to survive such a shocking experience

Donna's book captivated me from the first page. I knew of the Polish history in a general way, but her descriptions paint the picture on a visual and emotional level that us unforgettable. I'm particularly enjoyed the honesty and vulnerability in presenting the relationships between each daughter and their mother, the two sisters, the father. If anyone wondered what a sentence of "hard labor in Siberia" really meant, they would learn in detail, here. They would be inspired by the stories of seemingly insurmountable hardships, persistence and survival. A great read.

All 4 of my grandparents came from Poland.,. I am proud to be Polish and this story helped me to understand what my family went through. It is sad that these stories are still not known. Donna, I c an not thank you enough for taking the time even through all the speed bumps in your life. You are an ama,I h person and one who shows the strengths one has to get through life. You make people aware of no matter where Polish people are in the world the we are strong and fighters and we will prevail. Again thank you or better yet dziekuje! Dana Marie Chubski Cameron FYI for my first name from the Ray Henry Polka label

Bravo!! A great summer read! I was so immersed that I forgot I was in transit to, in, and from Brazil at the time and rather imagined that I was in Poland, Siberia, Chicago and the idyllic farm in Wisconsin. Best page turner I have read in a long time. I cannot imagine two generations of a family being so different yet so intertwined. In the end it is all about family! Every American should read this unbelievable and true story about two generations in the 20th century forever changed by evils and sometimes heroics of the two world wars and their aftermath. The book shows the "rest of the story" of the toxic effects of demonic politics that we all need to be especially careful of now in the returning nationalism around the world.

I just finished reading this book and enjoyed it on so many levels. First there is the story of survival, how a (for all purposes single) mother and young child, through sheer will and determination, suffered and survived the extreme hardships of Stalin's forced labor camp--Poles arrested in 1940 simply for being Polish and forced into hard labor under the extreme hardships of a Siberian prison camp. It's a great story of survival, first in the prison camp, and then on the long, long road to freedom via Persia, India, England, and eventually settling in the United States many years later. It's also a subtle story of love and respect, how two people met in the midst of these extreme hardships and were kind to each other, and how the fates brought them together again, eventually to reunite, wed, and give birth to the author, Donna Solecka Urbikas. It's also a story of understanding, how author Donna Urbikas spent her life trying to understand the foreign-to-her life lived by her mother, half-sister, and father in a land far, far away during a time that is horribly unimaginable, and about all the hardships and tragedies they survived during those long, dark years. And it's also a story about Donna's own life, how she did not want to be like her mother, and yet the best of her mother shines through in her own personal life and struggles. That fierce determination that helped her at that time young mother through those dark years of Siberian exile and the following long road to liberation and freedom are traits that Donna have formed Donna into the determined woman she is today. I think most of us at times, when we're growing up, don't want to be like our parents. But I think we usually are, and it's only later in life that we can appreciate that. Donna tells this part of the story very well, too. This story is wonderfully told, the past interwoven with the present, as Donna works to better understand her mother (and to a lesser extent, her sister and father), and slowly comes to a better understanding of what shaped not only them, but how that experience of growing up in such an environment with such a sad past shaped her and how she deals with her own family. Events from Donna's life with her family are intertwined with the stories her mother told of those dark years in exile, and the result is a story that makes sense, how our past and that of those closest to us shape our own present. I found the move from present to past really enhanced this story. It what I experience at times, sitting around the table, chatting with one of my parents, when all of a sudden some new story about their past surfaces. We are all products of the past of our parents, and this book helps demonstrate that. Next time my folks tell a story, I'll appreciate it all the more--and probably take better notes! I found this book to be a very emotional read, a fantastic story well told, and I highly recommend it.

This book is exceptionally well-written and held my attention, making it a surprising two-day read. Somehow I was expecting a tale of history, more academic in nature, since it's published by a university press. But the core of the book focuses on motherhood, the roots of relationships between a mother and her daughter, and how far a woman is willing to go to survive and protect her child in impossible circumstances. Exile to Siberia is the powerful setting that few outside the Polish community are fully aware of, which adds to the value of this story. The author's mother and her five-year-old daughter were two of hundreds of thousands of Poles forcibly evicted from their homes in February 1940 and then, well, no spoiler alerts here, except that they endure a tortuous journey together. A second key exploration in this book is the author's personal experience of a second-generation survivor of war trauma, as well as being a first-generation immigrant of Polish parents, who can never return to a communist Poland. Then, on top of this, in the second half of the book, the story turned surprisingly personal as she faced many simultaneous trials of being sandwiched between younger children with issues, and aging parents, which is a subject I completely relate to. I suspect I'll be still be thinking about this book in the weeks to come, especially for the first-hand view of deportation to Siberia.

My Sister’s Mother is a very moving account of a young Polish mother’s survival in a Soviet labor camp and later in equally perilous refugee camps. The description of the horrific conditions and the struggle to keep herself and her daughter alive was extraordinarily vivid. It was not just the cold and hunger but the filth and the lice everywhere, all intensely portrayed. At the same time it is also the story of the impact of those experiences on her younger daughter growing up as an American. I really liked the way the two stories – the mother’s past and the daughter’s present – were interwoven and alternating until at the end they converged. This memoir not only illuminates a small hidden corner of history but also reminds us all that no matter how difficult the relationship, in the end we cannot help but carry our parents’ lives within us.

This stunning, heartfelt memoir looks unflinchingly at the scars borne by one Polish immigrant family as their younger daughter tries to become a normal American girl in Chicago while her mother and sister suffer unimaginable pain from their experiences during the Holocaust years. A gripping study of family dynamics, this is also a must-read for scholars of World War II and the horror perpetrated on civilian populations by the Soviets as well as the Nazis. My Sister’s Mother is Donna Solecka Urbikas’s labor of love, based on carefully recorded recollections in her mother’s own voice and supplemented by precious photographs taken by her father, a camera buff, when little of this history was recorded on film. Since 1989, a welcome rash of memoirs about the experience of Poles during the 1940s has brought to the attention of readers and scholars the central role of Poland in World War II and the susequent battle for domination in Europe known as the Cold War. Perhaps the most obliterated aspect of the horrors of this period in history was the mass deportation of Poles by the Soviets to execution, slave labor, or starvation in Siberia. My Sister’s Mother is an authentic record, written from the heart and powerful in its ability to show how, from war to war to war, the conflicts of the 20th century bleed one into the other and linger in our lives today.

This book is about the refugee experience of the author's mother, sister and father. It will deepen the reader's understanding of the refugee experience, which is so relevant today. What sets this book apart from other refugee tales is how this refugee experience affects the American-raised child of the refugees (the author). I appreciated the structure of the story, with the chapters going back and forth in time. One chapter is on their life in America, then the next chapter goes back to war-torn Europe. It's an effective tool that maintains the reader's interest and connects the two parts of the story.The author's descriptions of her mother's life experience are exceptionally vivid. I had no idea that any refugees traveled so far from Poland to various places in the vast former Soviet Union, to Iran, to India, to England and finally finding a home in the United States. It's an amazing story of survival.

I was very excited to read this book since I am researching my Polish family. I know I have relatives there, I just have to find them! This book gave me great insight into what it was like to live in Poland during this terrible time in history. Life, here, was not for the feint of heart and Donna's mother was one strong, courageous woman. The fact that she was able to save not only herself but her daughter, Donna's sister, was a miraculous feat. Donna's relationship with her mother and sister was hampered by the fact that she did not understand the history behind their relationship and difficult journey. As this story unravels it was easier for Donna to understand and I think to "like" her mother. Her love and admiration for her mother also grew and changed over the course of the story. Anyone who is interested in life during World War II or non fictions stories about self realization will enjoy this book. It is not a difficult read and will encourage the reader to reevaluate certain relationships and views on their private lives. Thank you, Donna, for sharing your family's story with us.

I wanted to love this book but I must say I struggled to finish the book. The subject matter was interesting (polish citzens trapped in soviet gulags) but I didn’t like the book’s style of alternating modern/ww2 chapters. I found the style to be jarring. But I would like to say how much i cheered on mira and her mother to survive such a shocking experience

Donna's book captivated me from the first page. I knew of the Polish history in a general way, but her descriptions paint the picture on a visual and emotional level that us unforgettable. I'm particularly enjoyed the honesty and vulnerability in presenting the relationships between each daughter and their mother, the two sisters, the father. If anyone wondered what a sentence of "hard labor in Siberia" really meant, they would learn in detail, here. They would be inspired by the stories of seemingly insurmountable hardships, persistence and survival. A great read.

All 4 of my grandparents came from Poland.,. I am proud to be Polish and this story helped me to understand what my family went through. It is sad that these stories are still not known. Donna, I c an not thank you enough for taking the time even through all the speed bumps in your life. You are an ama,I h person and one who shows the strengths one has to get through life. You make people aware of no matter where Polish people are in the world the we are strong and fighters and we will prevail. Again thank you or better yet dziekuje! Dana Marie Chubski Cameron FYI for my first name from the Ray Henry Polka label

Bravo!! A great summer read! I was so immersed that I forgot I was in transit to, in, and from Brazil at the time and rather imagined that I was in Poland, Siberia, Chicago and the idyllic farm in Wisconsin. Best page turner I have read in a long time. I cannot imagine two generations of a family being so different yet so intertwined. In the end it is all about family! Every American should read this unbelievable and true story about two generations in the 20th century forever changed by evils and sometimes heroics of the two world wars and their aftermath. The book shows the "rest of the story" of the toxic effects of demonic politics that we all need to be especially careful of now in the returning nationalism around the world.

Urbikas has meticulously preserved her mother Janina’s story of courage and maternal devotion and the tolls of war. She also reminds us that stories don’t end when parents die. They live on through subsequent generations and I deeply appreciate the author’s honesty about the ramifications of her mother’s experiences for her own life and family. We want to break certain cycles yet find ourselves reliving them or living in fear of them. Urbikas does not present a romanticized tale of survival. We sit stunned at her mother’s strength and survival skills but also see the price paid by both mother and daughter. And somehow that makes us appreciate them even more.

Found to be interesting, the struggle and determination to survive at all cost, is amazing. God info on he unbearable love as do labor camp refugees. The only thing I found slightly disturbing was the writer's inability to understand her mother. Sounds like the daughter(writter) was self absorbed .

I enjoyed reading this book, as it brought back many memories of my Polish parents that went through similar struggles during WWII. It was interesting to read about her mothers determination and strength to survive and help her daughter through the many hardships of war. This is a fascinating true story of survival. Excellent!

Many thanks to the author for telling this story of her extraordinary family. So many have no idea that this horrible event took place. Hopefully the cruelty recounted will never happen again--it is something that we must constantly guard against. The author skillfully wove the events before, during and after the Siberian exile into a thought provoking account--she is a gifted writer.

This is a beautifully written account of a family torn apart by war and politics. Donna Urbikas' sister and mother went through pure hell. And it did not stop once they were free, or even when they reached the safety of the U.S. Midwest. There are scars and haunting memories that will never be erased. And it impacts the younger sister and her father now. The story is riveting and poignant and told well. Don't miss this one!.

This book gave me terrific insight into the lives of my childhood friends who were recent immigrants or children born in the US to recent immigrants. Growing up in Bucktown in the 60s and 70s, my schoolmates were primarily of Polish or Latino descent, and this memoir hit home. It actually made me more curious about my own second / third generation Polish roots, so I will finally travel to Poland. We all lose so much when we become Americanized, yet there are some peculiar commonalities and nostalgic traditions that carry on although we may not understand why. More than ever in this current political climate, we need to understand the plight of immigrants, no matter their origin, and this book should be required reading.

A true story of the cruelty of Russian communists against a Polish mother and her daughter.

A really good story about living through a war first hand, and what you do to survive. If you are of polish descent, it will hit closer to home, all the hardships some people lived through. It also showed the mental toll that is the cost sometimes of simply living day to day without alot of hope.

There are numerous Polish memoirs from World War II but this one is exceptional for it does not end with the end of the war: just as the lives of the war survivors continued in the post-war reality. Moreover, the narrative of the Polish survivor (Mother) is interrupted by the chapters that relate it to the experiences of her Polish American daughter (author of the book), which are no less interesting and moving.

I am not a huge book reader, but when I saw the info on this book had to get it & loved it. I had no idea of what really happened. I recommend this to history buffs and strongly to persons of Polish descent. I've been telling everyone about it. Great book and good read!

often when I've read a book, I can barely remember the plot a few months later...that will not be so with My Sister's Mother...this is a story that will stay with readers for a very long time. the strength, determination, love and devotion of the author's mother, as she endured many hardships, was inspiring. coupled with polish and world history, ms. urbikas' own personal struggles, made for a very interesting memoir. I would highly recommend this book.

I have finished reading "My Sister's Mother". I am overwhelmed by it and am reminded of the adage that to be a writer, you must be willing to bare your soul, as you have. I feel a new and deeper empathy for all those polish-speaking people in my old neighborhood as a kid. They all must have had their stories.

Haven't read the book yet, but excerpts on Facebook by author intrigued me as my mother also lived through the deportation to Siberia then freedom to Persia (now Iran), to India then England, then the states. Should be fascinating read.

This poignant memoir was honestly and touchingly told. The author's style and authenticity made the story and the characters come alive and feel like family.

More than met expectations in every way. This was a very well written and thoroughly researched book. "Those who forget history are destined to repeat it"

Excellent

This book held my interest from the very beginning. It showed that the love a Mother has for her child gives her the strength to keep on going no matter what the cost. Janina's memories of what happened to her and Mira played a big role in Donna's life . It is a book I will treasure. Thank you Donna for sharing your story.

Thanks you Donna for sharing your life and family. It felt like I was getting to know them as I read.

Receive the book as expected.

A beautifully written memoir that had me spellbound throughout the entire book. The author's love and tribute to her mother is so touching that I cried the entire time. A must read. I highly recommend it.

Interesting story, not expanded enough.

Donna's story of her family surving World War II is so nicely written . It was hard to put this book down ! She captures real life stories so well and describes a part of the War conditions I was not as familiar with (Siberia) . Very strongly recommended book!

This was a amazing book, how they were able to survive is amazing. I could not put the book down.

Heart felt writing. Genuine. A memoir of an epic tale of travel and travesty.

Wonderful, descriptive and insightful'. Anyone interested in WWII history this is a must.

Impressive, moving, well-written. I highly recommend this awesome book.

A very good book. It makes me wonder how my Mother and Father made it in Germany during the war.

I loved it. Very well written.

A powerfully gripping if not memorable read. Few authors are able to capture both the emotional depth and historic significance of haunting events that were nearly swept under the rugs of history. Ms. Urbikas does just that to winning ends here, crafting a vivid and effective memoir of her own journey of discovery, but also of an under-reported World War II odyssey that befell Polish people, the ripple effects it had on the author's family, and also herself. One of the finest written memoirs of the season, this passionate tale grabs you from the get-go and does not let go. The author's brave, honest exploration of "self" shines through ... and by tracing the lost hopes and dreams of her own family and perhaps a generation of Polish people whose stories under Stalin's oppression have long been waiting to be heard, we find ourselves both amazed and inspired by the sheer will of human survival and the deep hunger to find a sense of justice. Remarkable. _ Greg Archer, Huffington Post / author of 'Grace Revealed: A Memoir."

My Sister’s Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile, and Stalin’s Siberia By Donna Solecka Urbikas “A child’s face never lies…” Urbikas’ powerful memoir about mothers and daughters compares and contrasts two different worlds, showing how one women can be a very different mother to her two daughters. These three women are strong and loving and scared by war. The author sets out on an odyssey to understand the truth about what happened to her mother when she was arrested by the Russians and taken to Siberia. By writing down her mother’s story she hoped to understand the secret life that had always kept them worlds apart. But in the process of the storytelling, Urbikas comes to understand herself. With a baby of her own, and at the very same age her mother was when she was captured by the Soviets, the author begins this harrowing family tale. “I did all I could do to sit still and wait for her (the author’s mother) to allow me into her secret world, the world that would reveal the causes of her erratic behavior, from which I was still recovering at age thirty-five.” Where the heartbreaking silhouette of Polish civilians being deported to the Russian Gulags begins, so too do Urbikas’ vignettes, taking readers into the horrors of the life her mother and older half-sister Mira faced in Stalin’s brutal camp—the freezing cold, the interrogations, and the fight to stay alive. With alternating chapters, the author juxtaposes her own childhood and the delights of her own so-call “normal” American upbringing—the good memories of sewing clothes for Barbie dolls and Christmastime games of Dominos—with those of her mother’s and sister’s traumatic past. Although the reverberations of war separate mother and daughter for years, determination and love prevail. A well-researched and heartfelt memoir! Bravo Donna Solecka Urbikas! Book review by Catherine A. Hamilton, author of VICTORIA’S WAR (2020).

Layering three generations, this vibrant memoir is imbued with drama, truth, and heart. The impact of the excruciating events of World War II and the emotional turmoil of survivors are visited upon the succeeding generations in ways not always understood and seldom documented. Here, Donna Solecka Urbikas shows not only how love, loss, fear, and hope intersect in the lives of refugees, but also how they reverberate—for good and for bad—in the lives that follow. Enlightening. ~James Conroyd Martin, Author of THE POLAND TRILOGY & THE BOY WHO WANTED WINGS

I was fascinated with the title of this book, not being able to comprehend the background that might cause such a choice. Yet, when reading the book it becomes so clearly the perfect name to document the story. Urbikas, the author, writes of a part of her mother's and sister's lives that she never knew. At first she was a little jealous of their close connection. Later it led to a curiosity that could not be curtailed and she began the research necessary to write this extraordinary book. My Sister's Mother falls into the memoir genre; however, it turns out to be much more...it is a family saga that starts in one part of the world, moving into another one where, tragically, the family creates an environment so close to what they had once owned, that readers immediately realize how much they missed their homeland, where they would have returned if possible. Mira was the first daughter of Janina Slarzynska during her first marriage. Donna was born through another marriage and at that time her step-sister and mother were so close that Donna recognized the difference. Obviously there was much research and, as possible, interviews. Janina had always told stories of the past, so much so that Donna sometimes didn't pay attention...until she was older and realized that she had begun listening and wanting to know more...Earlier discussions, from Donna and others, at first, were too naive and her lack of knowledge agitated her mother... Then, by the time she was interviewing her mother, her mental faculties were oftentimes lost and/or too traumatic for her to respond. Nevertheless she was able to accumulate what she learned and mold it in a family memoir like no other. Poland had had a very brief period as a free country... How much more devastating it must have seemed to to have had freedom, only to lose it again! How tragic it would be to have other countries come in and claim their property and everything they had worked for... Yes it has happened to others, but each story is unique... Picturing Janina trying to chop wood in the cold forest of Siberia, just putting in time until she could return and make sure her daughter was still alright, cannot easily be forgotten. We find the youngest daughter having and enjoying that freedom in America, while the past is still haunting her mother and even her sister who, when, parties were held to match her with a husband, had refused to marry any of them... If you love solving mysteries, I think you might be able to imagine why Donna became determined to find out more about her sister's mother and, in turn, find out more about herself... I think she has succeeded in her desire! A side note was interesting as the author mentions she was among the first who began to use creative nonfiction before it was formally accepted and now in the book, it allows an emotional connection of the family to be established as the saga moves forward. Historical war novel fans should definitely check this out. Obviously, those from Poland, especially who came to America, will want to take this opportunity to initiate memories from their past. Whether similar or not, this is a memorable story documenting a family's trials and losses as they faced those invaders who came to conquer, not caring about any of those who were affected, in so many different and varied ways. The emotional impact of this story will leave you in deep thought which will not easily leave you. Be prepared. GABixlerReviews

My Sister's Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile and Stalin's Siberia is a fascinating book and read, wonderfully well written and haunting. It is a daughter's reckoning with a mother and older sister who were traumatized by war, in this case the experience of Poles who were exiled to Siberia during World War II. The author/ narrator grows up in the Midwest in the Baby Boom era, trying to be a "normal" American, but haunted by a past she can only glimpse through photos, conversational snippets and intuiting the trauma from her close family members. Honest and beautifully written, this book will touch any reader's heart. Thank you Donna Solecka Urbikas for sharing your inmost struggles. Everyone living in America at the moment will be able to relate. Those who have been traumatized by war and prejudice will be especially mesmerized by this text.

Janina and her young daughter Mira face the horrors of war as they are made to leave their home and are sent to a labor camp. Donna, born after the war, hears the stories and wants the bond that her mother and sister have. For years she tries to understand them and the horrors they faced. They share a bond that she will never be a part of. She begins this memoir as a way to understand them and the reasons for her treatment from both her mother and sister. I can say that this novel is gripping. A young girl trapped in a world that she shouldn't have to endure because of horrors that occurred to her sister and mother. She wants the bond with her mother, the love that is shown to her sister. I have a rocky relationship with my mother and so this book hit home in some ways. Of course, I never faced such horrors such as war, but it helps me understand Donna and her feelings. This book was well researched and full of history. It was very detailed and painted a picture of the war that was not pretty, but it helps the reader to understand how brutal it was for some people. I have never been big on reading memoirs, but this one really spoke to me.

This memoir weaves together several stories. One is the story of a Polish mother and daughter who were seized to work in Soviet labor camps in Siberia. A second is the little known story of the Free Polish Army, which was raised from the Poles deported by the Soviets. A third is the romance of the Polish woman and a Polish officer who saved the life of her and her daughter. The last is the story of their England-born daughter who is raised in Chicago's Polish neighborhood, who saw both the strength of her parents and their weaknesses. These stories illustrate the courage needed to face dangerous times, and tell history that is little known in the United States.

For 30 years, I have been reading memoirs and histories about Poles who survived the atrocities imposed on them by the Russians and the Germans in World War II. I have read about the Poles who were terrorized in their home country, and I have read about Poles who were taken to Germany and to Siberia as slave laborers. These books have told me about lives shattered and hopes buried along the side of the road. Donna Urbikas's memoir of her mother and sister's experiences in Siberia may be the best of these books. She has a gift for conveying not only what happened to her mother and sister, but also how they felt about the things that were happening to them. As I read this book, at times, I felt I was sitting at a table with Ms. Urbikas's mother listening to her stories of what happened when the Russians came and what it was like in Siberia and how difficult it was getting out of the trap the Soviets created and what it was like when the family finally came to America. Ms. Urbikas not only was able to make me feel all of this, she also was able to make me experience through her eyes what it was like being the child of a mother who experienced the terror and the outrage that Donna Urbikas's mother experienced. As I read this book, I felt almost like I was a part of Ms. Urbikas's family. As a child myself of parents who suffered not only under the Germans and the Soviets, I have to say that this is the one book every person who wants to know what it was like to be a victim of the Germans or the Russians in World War II must read. John Guzlowski Echoes of Tattered Tongues

I received a copy to facilitate my review. The opinions expressed here are my own. After reading this book I was able to see that this type of thing is still going on today. Donna’s mother and sister lived in Poland during World War II. They were plucked out of Poland and sent to a hard labor camp in Siberia. They grew very close as they fought to survive day by day. The experienced starvation, sickness and hard labor. Years later after they had made it to the United States we learn that they have a relationship that Donna doesn’t have with either of them. The reason is that their time in Siberia created a bond that children to come later could never form with either of them. Their lives and the lives of those to come later were colored by those very experiences. Now when I see the news and read about the refugees who were forced to flee their land I understand that those experiences will color their life. Those are memories that they will always have and will always influence future decisions as well as future children. I don’t think I ever considered how events like this would affect children not yet born. It was eye-opening to say the least. This is a very good book, yet at times tough to read. It made me realize how good so many of us have it with the freedoms we take for granted and the relationships we build with our families. I whole-heartedly recommend this book.

This book enlightened and moved me. I thought it was very informative regarding the history of an invaded and fractured Poland and what went on in Siberia during the war years (both WWI and II) which I knew very little about. Apart from the historical account which appeared to be very well researched and highly recommended just for that aspect alone, I appreciated the effort by the author to weave in her family's and own personal stories and histories. Mainly, it made me aware of the conflicting dynamics and extenuating circumstances, culturally and generationally, that many families most likely experience in a situation like that with refugees and survivors of war. The chapters are short and shoot back and forth between many different time periods, locations and family members in addition to the basic storyline of the war years and kept me focused. The thoughts, feelings and emotions shared by the author are so honest and raw throughout but especially at the end when so many things in her own life came crashing in. Many of us can sympathize if not empathize with the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood and family in critical times. I think the courage and bravery exhibited came not only from her mother who author had come to realize and attribute it to but also from herself. The author had a lot to cover and I think she achieved it.

This book is a must-read for anyone who, like me, is of Polish ancestry or who wants to better understand the impact of war on individuals and their families. The story told is much bigger than that of just Janina, Mira and Donna, or of a terrible event in Polish history. It’s about everyone whose lives have been ripped apart by tragedy and who somehow find the inner strength, courage and determination to survive and rebuild their lives in the face of incredible hardship. It’s also about the power of love to motivate a person to carry on when all seems lost. The interweaving of Donna’s story with that of her mother provides a personal perspective on historical events that enriches our understanding not only of people and events, but also of how we are shaped by them, both directly and indirectly. The writing is well-crafted, and the story, inspiring. Truly a good read.

This book is extraordinarily well written. As soon as I began to read it, I was captivated and found it nearly impossible to put down. I just wanted to keep going so that I would find out what happened next. The author’s convincing sentences and persuasive descriptions pulled me along continuously, page after page. The core of the book is the true story of the author’s mother, Janina, and half-sister, Mira, who were taken by the Soviet secret police from their home in eastern Poland and sent to a labor camp in Siberia during World War II. As a slave laborer, Janina was forced to perform excruciating physical work. In addition, she and Mira had to endure brutal living conditions, hunger, and disease. However, because of Janina’s intense character and determination to survive, they both managed to escape across a continent. The author, Donna, was born after the war. As a young girl, she learned about her mother’s and half-sister’s trauma and anger. She realized that Janina and Mira were linked in a strong bond, and she yearned to share a similar bond with Janina. She tried to win Janina’s love but failed in her attempts and suffered for years. As a way to understand them and to discover the reasons for their treatment of her, Donna began to interview them; this memoir is the fruit of those interviews. It is truly an excellent book, and one that I can whole-heartedly recommend to everyone.

eviews > My Sister’s Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile, and Stalin’s Siberia My Sister’s Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile, and Stalin’s Siberia by Donna Solecka Urbikas Curtis Urness's review Aug 06, 2019 · edit it was amazing The title of My Sister's Mother by Donna Urbikas is somewhat deceptive because the mother mentioned is also the author's mother. What Urbikas is referring to is that her older sister and her mother had a special relationship of shared experience to which she could not claim inclusion. In the early part of the Second World War, Janina, her mother, and Mira, her older sister, then only five years old, were forcibly taken from their eastern Poland farm to slave labor camps in Siberia. In writing this book, Urbikas examines this unattainable relationship and the effects that it had on her own life. The book is part Janina’s biography and part author’s memoir. The two parts are treated in small chapters running intermittently. Each chapter contains vignettes that bring the character’s struggles to life in the mind of the reader. The story reads like a novel while being true to history, without an iota of dry text marring its flow. There are also a few chapters devoted to the author’s father, Wawrzyniec Solecki, who also was imprisoned in Siberia. Wawrzyniec later joined General Anders’ Polish army and fought at Monte Cassino. He met Janina in Siberia and again when we they had found freedom. Most importantly, he was the mainstay for the family. It is the stories of Janina’s struggles in Siberia and the eastern reaches of the Soviet Union that are the most poignant. Some passages, such as one that describes the death of a child, can bring the reader near tears. Janina’s shrewdness and tenacity helped her survive starvation, disease, cold, vermin, and back-breaking labor. Throughout it all, she protects and nurtures Mira from the sorrowful fates of other children. Urbikas tells the stories with a matter-of-factness that she must have inherited from her mother. Her memoir of her own life examines relationships within her family, family tragedies, and struggles with honesty and courage. She also offers insight to a part of history, the plight of Polish deportees and prisoners in the Soviet Union during WW II, that receives very little attention compared to other aspects of the war. I strongly recommend My Sister’s Mother.

This is a valuable book, one that connects English readers to a very sad event in Polish history. The study of Poland during WW II often is focused on Nazi atrocities, and this is appropriate as Hitler wished to eradicate the Polish nation. Stalin didn't want to kill all the Poles, but he certainly wanted to "liquidate" any possible opposition to Communist rule. Those "dangerous elements" he didn't outright murder at places like Katyn, got a chance to experience the horrors of the GuLag system. Urbikas tells of her mothers experience in the cold hells of these Soviet labor camps. Its well written, compelling, and opens a window to another part of the 1939-1945 tragedy that engulfed Poland.

This is a written account of the atrocities that the Polish people and in particular one mother and daughter endured during WW2. It's a story that is horrific and shocking to those of us who have grown up only hearing vague stories of the Communist regime. Bringing to life the proud Polish people and their treatment at the hands of the Soviets. It is an accounting of a mother's life written by her daughter born after the war. Riveting and shocking at the same time. How does one live through that and come out after to resume life after living through what they did. Fascinating read.

Thank you for sharing this story with us. All the details that you were able to preserve is just amazing. On the other hand it was also very sad and traumatic to read about the things that your family went through. I definitely cried at various parts. I can't believe the horrors of war and life. Your Mothers perseverance and survival is so admirable. And you are just as strong as she was. You do everything you can, in the best way that you can for your family. I try and desire to be just like that. I'm glad that Janina's legacy and story can now live on through this book. At each turning event I kept thinking how this could be made into a movie.

This excellent true story of war, exile and refugee status after WWII is completely relevant in today's world. It is an important book to read because it illustrates how history repeats itself. When we first learned about WWII, I am sure every one of us thought to herself, "I would have been brave, I would not have stood silently by the atrocities of Hitler and Stalin, I would have helped!" The story of the refugees in this book is heart rending -- but their story is NOT unique and it is NOT ancient history -- it is being played out each day by millions of war displaced families from the Middle East and Africa. If this books helps to create compassion for today's refugees, it goes beyond being just an educational read. . . this book might help to change hearts, spur action, and that could save lives. So even now, Janina, through her daughter Donna, is helping others. What a miracle these women are!

While the recounting of the loss of the mother and sister's home and homeland, the inhumane experiences suffered while slave labor in the Soviet Gulag, and the refugee travails forms the soul-damaging story of the war, it is the impact on them, on the man, their savior, who becomes the husband and step-father, and on the second daughter, born after the war and raised in America, that makes this book so powerful. The war never ends for mother and sister, haunting them, and, by that lingering harm, haunting the young child, the half-sister, as well. This is truth told well.

I truly loved reading this book. I am of Polish heritage, but most of my relatives came over to the U.S. around 1907 so they escaped the world wars. I have read other WWII books, but never anything like this one. I knew about the tragedy of the officers killed in the Katyn Forest, but I knew nothing of the Polish people who were sent to Siberia and the hardships they endured there. Thank you, Donna, for enlightening the world about the horrible living conditions in Siberia. Your descriptions were very vivid about the environment and the difficulties your mother and sister faced. I will carry those descriptions in my head and will share them with my sisters. Already two people have seen me reading your book and have asked me to pass it on to them.

Highly recommend it. Accurate accounting of history with a parallel storyline actual experience of the author's mother and half sister during a horrible time in Poland's history. It also focuses on ways that history's effected in more later lifes of the pair of women and the author herself. It is crucial for that part of history to be recorded and made available to anyone interested in world issues... may things like this never happen again.. My dad... also a survivor of that part of history .. always said know your history, know yourself. Whether of not you have a personal connection to that part of history this is a valuable read in a personal style you will find easy to read.

What a tour de force--many of the images of the mother’s and sister’s horrifying experiences will long stay in my mind. The author described them vividly, effectively, and movingly. The description of her family’s life in the US also offers very helpful insights into refugee and other immigrant experiences, and the inter-generational stresses those can give rise to. The back-and-forth structure was well exploited to highlight the ways that pressure and stress are experienced so differently depending on the situation and environment. The author doesn't flinch from portraying herself as unsympathetic to her mother's and sister's earlier trauma, but shows how she develops patience and the ability to empathize through experiencing her own unexpected traumas. It's an insightful and rewarding read.