Men in Blazers Present Encyclopedia Blazertannica: A Suboptimal Guide to Soccer, America's "Sport of the Future" Since 1972

Fantastic book

As an American growing up in the post-war US, my interest in England was limited to the things which could be appropriated and made better by combination with our own Borg-like culture (e.g. the Beatles and James Bond). My visits to the UK confirmed my suspicion that there was nothing valuable in Britain we hadn't stolen. If the British were satisfied with tea, bovril, and vegemite, then so much the worse for them, I thought. When NBC started broadcasting the Premier League, though, I was startled to find that it was I who had been living on marmite and two veg, at least sports-wise. The EPL provides 90 minute episodes of the best in athletics without commercial interruption (except the very brief halftime) and a level of commentary that I associated with the high table at Cambridge or the Hogwart's faculty combination room. I could watch two EPL matches in the time it took to endure one NFL game, and still have time left over for a deep-tissue massage. But there was over 100 years of tradition and history to catch up with, and I have so many questions. What's with all the singing? Where the hell in Middle Earth is Tottenham? How come they say "Darby" when they mean "Derby?" This fine book provides the answers to questions that I should not give a damn about. Like a pair of above-average House Elves, Rog and Davo have been my guides to the mysteries of the EPL. Ex-pats now living in the states, they know exactly what we Yanks find absurd and incomprehensible about their native land and the beautiful game. Escapees from a dead empire (that faded into obscurity in no small part due to its obsession with football), they are helping provide Safe Passage to Americans as we dismantle our own empire. They, and this book, are a reminder that the world is an older and a better place than our current masters will ever know. Courage.

I gave it to a friend for Christmas and she LOVED it!! The 'Men In Blazers' show rocks!

Excellent book! As a Brazillian expat living in Wisconsin finding you guys in the US was the best surprise. I was introduced to the MIB around 2012-13 thanks to a free Sirius XM radio subscription that came with a new car. I would drive to work listening to you guys and more than once I hang out in my parked car a few minutes more than I should have just to listen a little bit longer. I am sure to this day, there is a very confused Sirius XM radio executive that tells the story about this email complaining about the MIB radio show cancelation where, with the full power of my fresh-off-the-boat naïveté, I might have mentioned that you were the reason I kept my subscription and that I thought this was an awful business decision that would cause them to lose many more subscribers that might otherwise be exposed to other Sirius XM upcoming programs like the Howard Stern Show, which they seemed to be going out of their way to promote. This book for me is a trip down memory lane, but it is also a great soccer starter kit for Americans, or, as the boys usually say, anyone that is "soccer-curious".

The Men in Blazers have brought their brand of "suboptimal crap" to the world of literature. Roger Bennett and Michael Davie have written a guide to their extremely warped sense of humour as well as their love for "The Beautiful Game," warts and all. Interspersed among the laughs are touching stories about growing in England and coming to America as immigrants, experiences that need retelling in this age of intolerance and xenophobia. Never preachy, always entertaining, The Men in Blazers poke fun at themselves, the world wide phenomenon that is football and the accompanying hype and hoopla. Come meet Lady Lowe (pronounced "low-veh") , Crap Cat and the predictive power of pies. Also skewered are such characters as disgraced FiFA officials Sepp Blatter and Chuck Blazer (no relation to the House of Tweed worshipped by Rog and Davo). "Encyclopedia Blazertannica" is a must for all who can see the funny side of the world's most popular game and sport. As it says on its cover, it is the definitively suboptimal guide to soccer, America's "Sport of the future" since 1972! Viri Recte Vestiti (Men Dressed Well)

An encyclopedia like no other I ever found at the Lincoln Elementary school library. It is equal parts rom-com and classroom requirement. I too attended the 1994 World Cup and probably used about to much Drakkar Noir in my youth to no great accomplishment. From cover to cover it imparts knowledge, some of which I am better for, within it subtly invokes Smurf references, accomplishes an engaging cross-century history lesson better then most professors ever did for me, does Carlos Alberto right, makes us all who were to young to truly experience the NASL want to do so somehow, just mentions Obi Mikel appropriately and horse turd one to many times. And provides a dead-on Description of transfer deadline day. I laughed, I cried. It does exactly what an encyclopedia should do - takes you places you can’t go and expands your mind in ways you have yet to appreciate. Hanging on to everything that is left to claim 3.1.

I am a pre comb over bald denier who against my better judgement, paid real money for not one, not two but three copies of this "book" so I would be able to actually name a book if asked by Jimmy Kimmel. In a fit of Arsenally insanity, I gave the book to my Arsenal mad sons too, noting that if they still could not read, they could use it for toilet paper, fire starter or to prop up a table if needed. Here's the thing, in a world where "fake news is the news de jouer, when you read that Sam Allardyce "resembles the bastard offspring that would result if a hippopotamus made love with a steak and kidney pie", you realizes that you have struck literary gold. Move over Ernest Hemingway. To be sure, this "book", a truly encyclopedic encyclopedia of football nonsense is required bathroom reading. It's all the news thats fit to print. Well done lads, a truly sub-optimal effort. Balds win.

When I first found out that the Men in Blazers had wrote Encyclopedia Blazertannica I was very excited. I quickly ordered the book and awaited for it to arrive. I felt like a child waiting for Christmas to arrive. Oh what a magical time that was. But as the release date neared I started to read the reviews of this book and my excitement turned to trepidation. My feelings of a happy Christmas soon turned more toward unease. I felt the anxiety of a British light cavalryman awaiting the order to charge the Russian artillery at the battle of Balaclava. The book arrived and as those brave souls, sabers held high, charged headlong into the abyss, so did I reading page after page for God and country regardless of the obvious outcome. I read this book about the beautiful game and as I turned the last page all I could think was "C'est de la folie"

From the crap part of the Upper West Side, this is my review of the MIB Encyclopedia etc. Suboptimal. Since ordering, my hairline has receded to somewhere between Julian Green and Prince Harry's. All of this without having opened the (beautifully) tweed and patch embosed cover. If, for some reason, you prefer to to not spend hours of your life reading the musings of an eternally depressed Everton fan ranting about the evils of Chelsea FC and bemoaning the recent form of Wayne Rooney - this "book" makes an excellent door stop or coaster for an ice cold Guines..... Budweiser. Absolute crap, but worth every penny. If you have multiple houses (like one of the co-writers), be sure to pick up a book for each one.

As a brand-new GFOP and generally busy person, I bought this book on a whim after seeing all the #MiBLeastCrap hashtags on Twitter. First day I had it after a long day of work, I read the first 100 pages in one sitting. After realizing that's the longest amount I've read in one sitting since I graduated from college, I came to terms with the fact that there is little suboptimal or crap about this book. Though, sadly, as I read through Rog's dream of the US lifting the World Cup, I was flung once again into a depressing spiral that I haven't felt since October 10th, 2017. With that said, read this book whether you are a die-hard "soccah" fan or casual observer.

Fantastic book

As an American growing up in the post-war US, my interest in England was limited to the things which could be appropriated and made better by combination with our own Borg-like culture (e.g. the Beatles and James Bond). My visits to the UK confirmed my suspicion that there was nothing valuable in Britain we hadn't stolen. If the British were satisfied with tea, bovril, and vegemite, then so much the worse for them, I thought. When NBC started broadcasting the Premier League, though, I was startled to find that it was I who had been living on marmite and two veg, at least sports-wise. The EPL provides 90 minute episodes of the best in athletics without commercial interruption (except the very brief halftime) and a level of commentary that I associated with the high table at Cambridge or the Hogwart's faculty combination room. I could watch two EPL matches in the time it took to endure one NFL game, and still have time left over for a deep-tissue massage. But there was over 100 years of tradition and history to catch up with, and I have so many questions. What's with all the singing? Where the hell in Middle Earth is Tottenham? How come they say "Darby" when they mean "Derby?" This fine book provides the answers to questions that I should not give a damn about. Like a pair of above-average House Elves, Rog and Davo have been my guides to the mysteries of the EPL. Ex-pats now living in the states, they know exactly what we Yanks find absurd and incomprehensible about their native land and the beautiful game. Escapees from a dead empire (that faded into obscurity in no small part due to its obsession with football), they are helping provide Safe Passage to Americans as we dismantle our own empire. They, and this book, are a reminder that the world is an older and a better place than our current masters will ever know. Courage.

I gave it to a friend for Christmas and she LOVED it!! The 'Men In Blazers' show rocks!

Excellent book! As a Brazillian expat living in Wisconsin finding you guys in the US was the best surprise. I was introduced to the MIB around 2012-13 thanks to a free Sirius XM radio subscription that came with a new car. I would drive to work listening to you guys and more than once I hang out in my parked car a few minutes more than I should have just to listen a little bit longer. I am sure to this day, there is a very confused Sirius XM radio executive that tells the story about this email complaining about the MIB radio show cancelation where, with the full power of my fresh-off-the-boat naïveté, I might have mentioned that you were the reason I kept my subscription and that I thought this was an awful business decision that would cause them to lose many more subscribers that might otherwise be exposed to other Sirius XM upcoming programs like the Howard Stern Show, which they seemed to be going out of their way to promote. This book for me is a trip down memory lane, but it is also a great soccer starter kit for Americans, or, as the boys usually say, anyone that is "soccer-curious".

The Men in Blazers have brought their brand of "suboptimal crap" to the world of literature. Roger Bennett and Michael Davie have written a guide to their extremely warped sense of humour as well as their love for "The Beautiful Game," warts and all. Interspersed among the laughs are touching stories about growing in England and coming to America as immigrants, experiences that need retelling in this age of intolerance and xenophobia. Never preachy, always entertaining, The Men in Blazers poke fun at themselves, the world wide phenomenon that is football and the accompanying hype and hoopla. Come meet Lady Lowe (pronounced "low-veh") , Crap Cat and the predictive power of pies. Also skewered are such characters as disgraced FiFA officials Sepp Blatter and Chuck Blazer (no relation to the House of Tweed worshipped by Rog and Davo). "Encyclopedia Blazertannica" is a must for all who can see the funny side of the world's most popular game and sport. As it says on its cover, it is the definitively suboptimal guide to soccer, America's "Sport of the future" since 1972! Viri Recte Vestiti (Men Dressed Well)

An encyclopedia like no other I ever found at the Lincoln Elementary school library. It is equal parts rom-com and classroom requirement. I too attended the 1994 World Cup and probably used about to much Drakkar Noir in my youth to no great accomplishment. From cover to cover it imparts knowledge, some of which I am better for, within it subtly invokes Smurf references, accomplishes an engaging cross-century history lesson better then most professors ever did for me, does Carlos Alberto right, makes us all who were to young to truly experience the NASL want to do so somehow, just mentions Obi Mikel appropriately and horse turd one to many times. And provides a dead-on Description of transfer deadline day. I laughed, I cried. It does exactly what an encyclopedia should do - takes you places you can’t go and expands your mind in ways you have yet to appreciate. Hanging on to everything that is left to claim 3.1.

I am a pre comb over bald denier who against my better judgement, paid real money for not one, not two but three copies of this "book" so I would be able to actually name a book if asked by Jimmy Kimmel. In a fit of Arsenally insanity, I gave the book to my Arsenal mad sons too, noting that if they still could not read, they could use it for toilet paper, fire starter or to prop up a table if needed. Here's the thing, in a world where "fake news is the news de jouer, when you read that Sam Allardyce "resembles the bastard offspring that would result if a hippopotamus made love with a steak and kidney pie", you realizes that you have struck literary gold. Move over Ernest Hemingway. To be sure, this "book", a truly encyclopedic encyclopedia of football nonsense is required bathroom reading. It's all the news thats fit to print. Well done lads, a truly sub-optimal effort. Balds win.

When I first found out that the Men in Blazers had wrote Encyclopedia Blazertannica I was very excited. I quickly ordered the book and awaited for it to arrive. I felt like a child waiting for Christmas to arrive. Oh what a magical time that was. But as the release date neared I started to read the reviews of this book and my excitement turned to trepidation. My feelings of a happy Christmas soon turned more toward unease. I felt the anxiety of a British light cavalryman awaiting the order to charge the Russian artillery at the battle of Balaclava. The book arrived and as those brave souls, sabers held high, charged headlong into the abyss, so did I reading page after page for God and country regardless of the obvious outcome. I read this book about the beautiful game and as I turned the last page all I could think was "C'est de la folie"

From the crap part of the Upper West Side, this is my review of the MIB Encyclopedia etc. Suboptimal. Since ordering, my hairline has receded to somewhere between Julian Green and Prince Harry's. All of this without having opened the (beautifully) tweed and patch embosed cover. If, for some reason, you prefer to to not spend hours of your life reading the musings of an eternally depressed Everton fan ranting about the evils of Chelsea FC and bemoaning the recent form of Wayne Rooney - this "book" makes an excellent door stop or coaster for an ice cold Guines..... Budweiser. Absolute crap, but worth every penny. If you have multiple houses (like one of the co-writers), be sure to pick up a book for each one.

As a brand-new GFOP and generally busy person, I bought this book on a whim after seeing all the #MiBLeastCrap hashtags on Twitter. First day I had it after a long day of work, I read the first 100 pages in one sitting. After realizing that's the longest amount I've read in one sitting since I graduated from college, I came to terms with the fact that there is little suboptimal or crap about this book. Though, sadly, as I read through Rog's dream of the US lifting the World Cup, I was flung once again into a depressing spiral that I haven't felt since October 10th, 2017. With that said, read this book whether you are a die-hard "soccah" fan or casual observer.

I am a soccer fan, particularly the English Premier League, & the show "Men In Blazers". So this book is a must for those who like the light hearted way the authors Davie's & Bennett present the beautiful game.

Suboptimal in all the very best ways. We love our Men in Blazers. #GFOPs unite! #courage

I was cross-eyed drunk and trying to order the latest Chuck Tingle volume,

Was delivered quickly and in great condition

This book begins with such a youthful verve, pace and optimism. However, when I reached the last 30 pages or so, the words faded and the book lost its way, like Phil Jones trailing Eden Hazard. Like life in many ways, MIB's Encyclopedia Blazertannica begins with hope and joyousness, only to lose steam, wander aimlessly-- like Diogenes with his lantern-- ultimately leaving readers bereft and forlorn. If sad naps are the highlight of your life, you will not be disappointed. In the words of the great philospher Eric Cantona, "When seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea." That's football heritage.

This book is simultaneously the best introduction to world football around and the single piece of literature that will ruin the way you look at a bald man's cranium. No longer am I deconstructing the inner workings of a diamond midfield as I watch the game. I am now irrevocably distracted by diamond balding in Sectors 3.4 and 3.5 on the man standing between me and the TV. In the end, this piece of literary crap is what I am ultimately drawn to, ergo it is me who is to be most pitied. Don't sully yourself with this crap unless you too, like me, are called GFOP.

I read a little bit of this book each night before bed, and it put me right to sleep. Best sleep aid since Ambien. This felt like part memoir, part love letter to GFOPs everywhere. Much of the content will be familiar to long time listeners, but there is lots of behind the scenes photos and stories that let you get even more inside the mind of Rog and Davo. I enjoyed learning more about 70s and 80s England football culture and fandom, like the part on Subbuteo and Bobby Moore. Best book for prepping for the 2018 World Cup out today.

This book makes a great gift for the hardest of hardcore soccer fans, or those just now jumping aboard the bandwagon. The authors do a great job of illustrating (with words and great graphics) the passion and excitement of soccer without coming off too condescending towards a American audience (well, maybe just a little condescending....) Overall, I would recommend this book if you want to learn a bit about the history of soccer both in USA and across the globe while having a nice chuckle. Or, if you're like my wife, just ogle at the photos of soccer mullets from the 80s :)

Positive: it’s like having the TV on without all the noise and shouting. But still like being in the Panic Room. Hilarious. Clever. Genius. Cons: I don’t like Everton fans. Not enough about Liverpool FC (to be expected). Too much Chelsea (was it possible to have nothing about Chelsea in this noble effort). Not enough about Rebecca’s muffins. In fact not enough about Rebecca. Ack, I just write that? Not enough shots of Rog in his grade school years. (Do not recall if he had hair at that point or was preternaturally bald by the age of 10).

Cereally, what a bunch of CRAP. From SUBOPTIMAL shipping from the shop that rhymes with WAMAZON. To the price drop AFTER I pre-purchased it... I'm impressed. This book was nothing like I expected, but I didn't really look into it before I bought it I read the intro, and couldn't stop laughing. I decided not to read it cover to cover (SHOULD I? Will I miss some cryptic messages, hidden secrets, golden tickets?...). I plan to buy it again after I finish reading this one, because what kind of insane person would read a book more than once?!

How can two suboptimal, bald guys put together something so excellent? Tweed-esque cover, classic smell and contents full of wit and insight. The glimpses into the minds of Rog and Davo are wonderful to behold. The descriptions are full of life (well, maybe not Rog's) and enjoyable to read through. They even managed to get it into alphabetical order. Finally an encyclopedia that's interesting and mostly informative. The only thing more suboptimal than the book itself was the price drop after it was released - but we'll blame that on "Power Bald Bezos."

Worst thing I’ve ever read. Worst thing, in fact, since loaved bread. From “Achilles feet” to Zinadine Zidane, the authors brilliantly weave together the greatness that is world football with freyed threads of their own mediocrity. My only wish is that this encyclopedia of blazers and bald deniers had never come into existence at all, but then I remember: this tome of record, for all its glorious crapness, is a history from which we can grow, from which we can learn, lest the same mistakes ever be repeated again.

What can I say about the Men in Blazers Encyclopedia that hasn't already been said. Here is an idea though. Go click on the reviews of these following books... In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust, Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes & Ulysses by James Joyce. Then COMPLETELY IGNORE those reviews, this book is nothing like those. Just put the book down on the sofa, it holds a cup of tea pretty well and eventually your dog will take a sad nap on it. Love from GFOP @EnglishBob1

This book, while a suboptimal attempt to cure literacy in America, shines a soft golden light (and gives a wry grin) to "America's Sport of the Future Since 1972". Where else can you educate yourself about tweed, the "Bald Sectors", Turfmoor, The Mother of Dragons and a sport where team mascots terriers, seagulls and owls are perfectly respectable. Please buy this book! Keep my number 2 and number 3 favorite bald people employed (number one is my dad...he wouldn't make the Best Bald Team of All Time).

Many people are saying that this contribution to literature, sport and culture by Messrs. Ranch and Dabo merits the consideration of the Swedish Academy's Nobel Committee. Poignant and puerile at various turns, EB is essential reading for anybody who has ever tied their emotional well being to the outcome of a twenty-two person sphere kicking contest with arbitrary rules enforced by clownish characters. And for this ginger on his way to a bald, it is also an essential resource and repository of courage for our community.

Where do I begin? Two bald men take off on a journey to recite a lifetime of mildly senile and occasionally soccer-related anecdotes... What could go wrong? In fact, you will find this tome to be substantially more optimal than anticipated. Filled with untold quantities of references to all things in the GFOP universe, it's a must have for anyone who listens to Rog and Davo on a regular basis. Buy it, embrace it. Godspeed, love you Rog and Davo.

Although not quite reaching the heights of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, this book is verging on "a flawless work of art." That is only because of the artwork included, not so much the writing. However the one thing this book does well is inspire hope amongst its readers. The hope that two very average, untalented, middle-aged men can produce in their chronically depressed followers. If these two men can write a book, well I'm off to run an ultramarathon and climb Mount Everest, because with Encyclopedia Blazertannica has proved that anything is possible.

There are two types of people: (1) People who will not like this book and (2) People who will not like this book but will say they do. It is suboptimal in every sense of the word and is one of the most crap filled books ever ghost written by Zlatan* I have searched this book, cover to cover, for a nugget of something positive to say and all I can come up with is.......at least the cover wasn't in seersucker. - Kelpie (GFOP)

If you appreciate MIB, then this book is a must. If you know nothing about them - and can't figure out what a GFOP is - then check out the web first. Rog and Dave-O are hilarious and global beyond just the game. Maybe you should start with this book, get hooked and then move on with a better life. Cheers! Laughter, with a dose of reality, is good medicine.

I ordered the book thinking that I would be receiving the world’s first tweed-bound tome. I was sorely disappointed to find out that the book is, in fact, traditionally bound but uses modern printing techniques to deceive the reader into believing they have a tweed-bound book. Alas, the writing does everything but disappointing. In parts moving, in others thrilling, this is a must have companion for every football fan, young or old, hairy or bald.

Few books can simultaneously capture agony and ecatasy as this one does. Like a crying infant who has had a deadly bottle of poison taken away from their grasp, this book will leave you full of anticipation and curiosity as to what may have been and will be as soccer advances to become America’s game. Highly reccomended for anyone who values tweed, crap, depression, and games popular in England that don’t rhyme with Trickit.

You'll find 13 chapters in the book; each one of them talks about a different aspect of war. The book is enigmatic, poetic, and at times, mundane. The purpose Sun-Tzu meant to serve with 'The Art of War' was guiding ancient China's military strategy... However, in MIB Blazertannica you will find none of that, just childhood trama, hair loss, and a glimpse into soccer in America through the eyes of two bald brits.

An actual delight to hold in your hands, skim or immerse yourself in. I firmly believe in supporting Creators you admire by buying their stuff, so I was going to buy this anyway, but this is an actual luxury item. Beautiful photos, diagrams, details, even the textured “tweed” cover feels special. Anyway, I know I should be calling this book “crap” but I’m sorry Rog & Dabo, I just can’t. It isn’t crap.

Guessing there's as much truth in this book as the memoir "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. There's no way these two sub-optimal men could write more than a 25 page book. Frey was kicked out of Oprah's Book Club when he was found out to be a fraud. Lucky for the authors of this book of crap, they can never be kicked out of something they were never in.

From me moment I opened this book, I knew my life would change forever. From the tweed book cover, to the smell of the pages, to the suboptimal stories inside, this book would sadly take up hours of my life pouring over the pages. I cannot get those hours back, but I wouldn't trade this crap for anything. Well, maybe Newcastle winning the Premier League. On second thought, yes. Definitely would trade this book for that.

I purchased this book because I wake up at 6:30 in the morning on weekends to watch people in England kick a ball. I also like to have bald men from England tell me about the people who kick the ball. I hear people in America are kicking the ball, and that seems pretty cool. If you ask me though, it all seems unimportant compared to poetry about the Holocaust.

Solid book, written for lovers of the Blazers and GFOP's. For those who many not be familiar with the authors, consider this "a random walk down US soccer (futbal) history" laden with sarcasm and humor. You may not know what is real and serious, vs. what is exaggerated, but you'll have a lot of fun while reading it. Recommended for anglophiles, soccer fans, or those who want to add some tweed to your bookshelf.

Probably the best book I've read since Judy Blume's Are You There God...It's Me Margaret. We US Americans complain about soccer - boring and low-scoring. But, if you are soccer-curious, read this book. There is so much more depth to the international game than just kicking and heading - Ranch and Dabo let you in on the importance of tiny bananas and the cuff bus, among other things.

I bought this book for my boyfriend for his birthday. Ever since it arrived, he has hardly said a single word to me. I try and talk about my feelings and our life plans, but in response, all I get is a shoddy mumble of "I didn't know that about Sam Allardyce...". Most use out of a present I've every gotten, buy if you are looking to be sad and alone.

With the same aplomb as one finds on the show, the Blazertannica mixes history, legend, and personal anecdotes to bring the English game to life. As a newcomer to soccer-mania (three years a Chelsea fan!) I appreciate this book as a way to catch up on the lore and stories I missed in all of those wasted years watching American football. Thank you Rog and Davo.

Have you ever wondered if that "One Click Ordering" button really works? Well, apparently it does. I thought I'd roll the dice and see if it functioned as advertised and all of a sudden I got this in the mail. Was it worth the risk? Upon receiving the results of my risky endeavor I opened it up and was greeted with a picture of Sam Allardyce, so you tell me.

I'm now off all sleep meds and was demonstrating a healthy MPB by the end of "A". I should be bald as a common Jonjo by the time I get to "D". Can't recommend this highly enough since it was obviously ghost-written by Crapcat, edited by Wine Rooney, and soon to be a book on tape with narration by Carlos Carvalhal. Courage, potential purchaser. Courage.

An incredible foray through the minds of 2 of America's (and lets be honest here), crap'est broadcasters since Wayne and Garth. Davies and Bennett combine literary talent, love of America, and most importantly, love of the game (LOTG) to produce what will surely be gracing the toilet reading racks of people for days to come. (I love it and you will too)

Bought this for my boyfriend who is a big soccer fan and he loves it. Hear him laughing while reading it all the time. Highly recommend

With the World Cup coming up I cannot think of a better book to compliment it. The Men in Blazers is to Football what a cigarette is after 3 whiskeys, What a hot cookie is with ice cream, and sometimes a pineapple on a pizza. They are just a joy to hear and read. But not much to look at. #baldswin

With words as unctuous as egg yolk as it flows in the Heinz tomato juice of beans on toast, with phrasing as mellifluous as the Kop in full voice, with illustrations as crap as city pigeon with abdominal distention, this book is a must read for those who wish to take their knowledge from a 1 all the way to a 1.3.

The book is fine. In retrospect I wish I had known there would be a audio version done by the MIB because their delivery adds to the material. Also, for those who pre-order here, note that right after this was released Amazon dropped the price by over $8, Within their rules I suppose but a trifle sneaky and would almost qualify as cr*p.

This soon to be retired USA lady is rejuvenated via M1B and of course this book - I love how much I learn and shock my fellow old guy twats (as students drop jaws). This PhD in env. engineering is Southgating it and beautifying the remaining precious years. Yes Rog courage in these times

As much as Rog and Davo try to provide a sub optimal eating experience, they fail again by creating an inviting and fun read. If they plan to fail, they will have to try again.

What this book has done for tweed based publishing can be equaled only by what the Orville brothers did for aviation, what Michael Jordan has done for basketball, Big Sam for the pie industry, and Big Sam again for the pint glass full of wine movement. Warning, this book may also lead to hair loss.

LOVED this book. Thanks Rog and Davo for the laughs on every page, the memories, and the analysis. Shared it with my dad already, can’t wait to share it with my newborn son. Your podcast, and this book, make my life richer. #bostongfop

Big fan of the lads and the show, and the book is a lovely companion piece. So much tweed, and of course, Balds Win (except when they don't).

If you know Rog and Davo, then you know what to expect from this book. But if you don't and are at this link by 1) error, 2) accident, or 3) soccer curious, then do yourself a favor and buy this book. Worth the price for, if anything, a door stop.

This is a must have book for everyone. It contains the answer to the meaning of life and other minor topics. The is the beautiful book about the beautiful game in America. You should order two books so that you can read one and preserve the other one for civilization.

Been listening to the Pod for years and am honestly astounded by the brand that these two have cultivated & grown. Wasn't sure what to expect with the book, but surprised at how engaging it is - great visuals & lots of hilarious anecdotes. The behind-the-book audio companion is a must.

On every page of this book, I get the tingle around my down-belows. A contemporary take on football(Soccer) aka life. My new bible for all things I need in life: courage, belief and knowledge. Buying this will give you not just a book, but a great doorstop as well.

Bought this for my husband for his birthday. He didn’t put it down all day and kept roaring with laughter. I don’t get soccer so I didn’t get the jokes.

This is the best book I own. I don’t really know what it’s about: Soccer? America? Life? Spoken word folk lore? It’s smart and well written, but it also feels like it was written exactly with me and my friends in mind. I can’t put it down!

Just like the podcast and tv show, this book can best be described as suboptimal and I love it. As an American and soccer fan, this book gives me everything I want from a book about soccer. At what point can I just start calling soccer “football”???

Filled with tongue-in-cheek British humor and sub-optimal definitions, this book is perfect for any soccer fan. It's filled with legitimately useful, interesting information about the game as well as useless crap that will have you laughing out loud. Highly recommended.

Very good read!! For anyone who loves the podcast, soccer, or comedy. It’s a fantastic novel!

It only took me about three hours to digest this CRAP book. Totally worth it. These two gents do a great job of explaining why America is ready for Soccah to take off. Looking forward to the next one...hopefully less than eight years from now!

Don't think. Just buy. If you are even remotely soccer curious, this is just an amazing book. If you want to be stared at for giggling while reading a book but gaining knowledge at the same time, buy it.

Full of interesting facts and laced with a vaguely cloying sweetness, this book is not an important addition to anyone's collection. The personal anecdotes are delightful. I got a copy in the hope of keeping it off the street.

So much fun! 4 years ago, as part of my mid life crisis (I was 48 then), I decided to become a soccer fan. I have a lot of catching up to do - this book will certainly help! Thanks Rog and Davo!

It was suboptimal and worthy of any GFOP’s need of a solid counterweight. Rog and Davo have compiled a compendium worthy of a full-body dousing of Drakkar Noir upon opening it. In all honesty, buy this thing. Courage.

“Sexual intercourse began In nineteen sixty-three ...” Oops. Wrong poem. “We should be careful Of each other, we should be kind While there is still time.” And therefore, kindness dictates a 5-Star review. Also, the book is quite good.

Love all of the hilarious clips that you come to expect from these two guys, but you get a whole lot of their story and what made them who they are as individuals as well. I enjoyed that part the most.

A pile of absolutely suboptimal crap, just as you’d expect from a bald from London and a bald from Liverpool. In other words, buy this now for yourself and for all of your football loving (aka day drinking) friends.

I dare you to find a better tweed covered book anywhere. My nips were tingling before I even opened the crap packaging it was delivered in. Unlike the USMNT, this book does not disappoint. Congrats Rog and Davo!

The Men In Blazers certainly didn't spark my interest in the world's game. But they've stoked the flames to such a level of enjoyment that the resulting inferno would remind Mario Balotelli to keep fire crackers out of his bathroom.

Bought it cause I was promised a mortal lock on the 2018 world cup while Rog was on PMT. Put the next 3 car payments on Iceland. Ill let you all know how it turns out

This pretentious ponderous collection of juvenile football psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Men In Blazers, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'" Just kidding, love you guys

Absolutely loved this book! Was so worried this was actually hundreds of pages written by Ranch & Dabo....so was relieved to find Colleen Masters' "Shot Caller" was the text on the pages between these tweed book covers.

This book is unbelievable! Great insight into crap world of Men in Blazers and minds of Rog and Davo. Must read for GFOPs and those out there wanting to learn more about the beautiful game.

It was an absolute pleasure going on this journey with these gents of the game. This book is a fantastic read, flows brilliantly, and expose the true power football has to unite people and the world! Courage!

Could anything be better. Hours & hours of football & laughter. I've sat wit this all day As I will continue to share it with my kids & laugh with them. If only it came with pies.

Rog and Davo did a great job on this book! The quality of the physical book itself is slightly sub-par, but what else would you expect from MiB? :)

Despite Rog and Davo's intentions, this book is no Man U goalless draw snoozefest - quite the opposite! As enjoyable as watching Jurgen Klopp's heavy metal football. Perfect for talls and smalls alike. Well done, chaps!

Oddly very touching, with both authors offering wistful memories of 70s and 80s England. A solid, and funny, intro to soccer for those unfamiliar with Men in Blazers; a necessity for Men in Blazers supporters.

If Alexis de Tocqueville were alive today and wanted to know about Soccer in America he would have eagerly read this and thought "Oh, I can do much better than this crap...nice cover tho, that tweed?"

Rog & Davo are the premier soccer enthusiasts every fan needs to listen to and now read their book! Even the ever depressed and sad Rog is happy about this book so that tells you everything!!!

A World Cup preview that lacks any actual preview of said upcoming tournament, but who wants to learn about 2018 Polish midfielders when 1916 English infantry men, and the poems they write, can be examined?

A wonderful book, full of well written and joyful soccer tidbits. they have spent a lot of effort on this, great illustrations and the paper/colors are wonderful - makes me happy to read

If you didn't love soccer (America's sport of the future since 1972) before you read this book you surely will after! Fantastic, read it nearly cover to cover right after it was delivered.

Hilarious. It's also a good quick read as there are a lot of short stories.

Hemingway, Vonnegut, Thoreau, Salinger, Kerouac, Palahniuk, Murakami, Bennett & Davies... What do all these men have in common? They’re all published authors and none of them have ever been in my kitchen.

A comical view of one man’s soccer knowledge and history. You are mainly going to find EPL references and some important World Cup facts. It is funny, ready for any soccer fanatic, but the items in the book are very random yet you will find yourself laughing at what is mentioned. However, what frustrated me was the lack of entries. I kept wanting to see if certain items or topics where described in the book but kept drawing blanks.

Absolutely loved it. So hilarious yet so suboptimal. Rog and Davo are legends!!! Not just for soccer fans but for anyone who wants to laugh out loud. Cannot recommend it enough.

A fantastic companion for every GFOP, and a hilarious starting point for anyone interested in soccer. The Men in Blazers wrote a gem worthy of BaldMart selection. Also what a sharp looking cover.

A go-to for everything you need to know about the beautiful game -- told in a way that only these gents can.

For current and future GFOP’s (Great Friends of the Pod), this book will give you all the information you need on football greats, Rog and Davo. Great stories, great photos!

Got it as a gift for my Dad. I'm very likely disowned for sending him this tweed covered crap, and that is despite subjecting myself to the sub-optimal content as well.

This is the Divine Comedy of Soccer History.... set to 26 cantos of the alphabet and in glorious suboptimal poetry I was not given any FIFA money for this review

This is now my number one desert island book because I would use the pages to start a fire for warmth at night. Thank you balds for such great work!

Some day I will have to explain to my children why there is a tweed book in the library. And I don't think I will be able to answer that..

Rog and Davo are American maestros and this is their opus. In a world of Reds and Blues, this is one piece of sub optimal crap we can all adore.

Written with great dash and daring! Whether on the field, or behind the mike!

Really great book, written by the funniest soccer/football commentators in the US. It's also a unique form of book, written in short chapters. Perfect for a quick bathroom read.

These guys know how to mix in jokes and seriousness in one excellent book. The knowledge they share is unmatched. I highly recommend this book for all soccer/football lovers.

After receiving this book, it has become apparent that I was playing pretty fast and loose with my use of the term "sub-optimal". This is the new benchmark.

Love the pod and the show. The book is hilarious and informative, but it is also so much more. If you love "soccah" you should give it a read.

This is a high quality book. The tweed cover is tactilely fantastic and the paper is of a high quality. I cannot recommend this suboptimal product enough.

Perfectly captures the ethos, mythos, pathos, and D'Artagnan of Premier League football. Would give it six stars, but for the distracting quotation mark-related typo on page 179.

Unbelievably entertaining, smart and emotional. Fans of the pod, the show, or those just looking for a great coffee table or bathroom read will not be disappointed

I love this book, but It’s a bit like a bad toupee. I enjoy it, but everyone I show it to thinks it’s a bit crap.

Whether you're a full fledged G.F.O.P. or just soccer curious, this book is a must have to help grow your love for the "Beautiful Game!"

I got this as a birthday gift for my husband who loves Men In Blazers. He loves this. I hear him laughing really hard reading this.

Explains everything you need to know about Soccah in the US. Buy it to see their suboptimal connection between Big Sam and the UFO conspiracy!

Huge fan of the podcast and show. Great writing and never a dull description of anything. Bennett and Davies are great!

Best book ever written by 2 bald ex-Englishmen about the game we love and the country we love. I look forward to reading it.

Simply an enjoyable book to read. Rog and Davo are as good at writing as they are speaking. Which is to say... sub-optimal.

I got this for my soccer-loving boyfriend. He keeps yelling me is great and he enjoys reading it.

Just bought it for my son, too! And now I know all the stories about their sign off statements. I like snacks!

Great Association Football Primer and encyclopedia. Good for an American fan to catch up on the EPL mania sweeping America!

Love Men Dressed Correctly; this book is perfect for when you might need to lift your spirits or gather vital information.

And by “crap” I mean truly insightful, passionate, and funny. One of my most favorite purchases as of late. Love MiB.

There have been a lot of books about America's sport of the future, but this is by far and away the most sub-optimal.

Love your podcast, very excited about the book and hoping it will help my novice friends understand my obsession with the sport!

A Dickensian masterpiece. Multiple references to rented color television sets bring dark squalor but deep cultural passion of 1970s Britain to life

Hilarious on every page! I could not stop laughing. I’m pretty sure this book will singl handedly save the book industry

Well done by Rog and Davo but would have appreciated more football information regarding the teams the communities and their traditions and songs.

Perfect companion for the upcoming World Cup. Great for Sad Naps. Tweed covers will now be all the rage.

A hilarious look at the beautiful game from America's greatest British imports. Defiantly recommended for any football/soccer fan in your life.

if you enjoy Men in Blazers or just generally enjoy Englishman talking about football and being idiots, buy this book.

Quite possibly the most sub optimal and crap book I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. I need another pint. #bilflife

This book is exactly what I had anticipated from Rog and Davo...a must have for GFOPs and ‘soccah’ fans alike!

The kindle version doesn't have the best pictures and graphs. Recommend buying the hard cover for maximum enjoyment

From the crap part of PHX, it arrived via Raven from a retailer rhyming with the word shmamazon. Loved it!

It's not completely crap, defiantly worth to get the audio book to go with (It's more like an additional pod)

Way more entertaining than I anticipated. Beyond unimpressive, but I still hide it when company comes over.

Makes me laugh and puts a smile on my face.

Perfect for explaining soccer to your sport illiterate life mate. Also a handy as a spider smasher.

One criticism would be not enough love for red heads, or, as you so offensive call them, gingers.

When I preordered this book it was #1 in golf books.....yet there is no golf in it.....

This book is so suboptimal that it could bring Joe Hart back to the height of glory #HartforEngland

Thanks gentleman. Have laughed myself to tears with this. Keep up the good work!

Must read for any soccer fan out there. Only page it through page 2 so far :)

What a great book, shaved 5 strokes off of my game after reading the first chapter, incredible!

Inspired me to tell my barber "just clean up the sides, let's allow the top to grow."

"Craptastic! As magisterial as a Jamie Vardy finish from a Willian scrot." - Crazy Joe Hart

I used this book to learn how to read. It has forever changed my life.

I'm supposed to say its crap but the book is fantastic. Just buy it!

Fun book with a good mix of nostalgia and current perspectives on the game.

This is an amazing book. If you follow these guys you’ll love the book.

Kung Fu fighting indeed!! Come on now, buy the book, support the lads..... TAKE THAT GLORIA

Was described as suboptimal and was exactly that, Terrible read. Couldn't out it down. 10/10

such a fantastic crap book! Thank You so much for doing what you do! Courage!

BRILLIANT and hilarious. Love these guys and there commentary had me rolling!

The crappest crap that ever crapped! 10 stars! Don't sleep on this crap!

The soccer and Men In Blazers fanatics in my household LOVE this book!

Such a fun read. Perfect for any soccer fan.

You'll come for the football and stay for the glorious David Fairclough photo. War pig!

Chock-full of narrative, brimming over with love for the best sport on the planet.

We may never open it, but it will look great on our coffee table.

This book is absolute crap that all GFOPs and soccer fans can get behind.

Did you know the word soccer was first coined by the British.

The best kind of crap. Recommend pairing it with a nice pint of wine.

Great crap!! What happens when a stoppable force meets a moveable object? This.

Perhaps the greatest book ever cloaked in a tweed cover. Take that, Gloria!

It was a gift for an avid soccer fan.

Is it crap? Maybe. Quite possibly. Is it what you need? Almost certainly.