How to Keep House While Drowning: 31 days of compassionate help

I am in the middle of grief, toddler meltdowns, 2nd grade in person school during a pandemic, a husband who travels most of the time and a serious fall into depression. I, like many others, found TikTok during the quarentine and then found Domestic blisters. Hearing the phrase "doing dishes is morally neutral" was a massive wake up call for me. I was so stressed and shamed by the look of my home that I felt like a failure as a wife, mother and adult. I grew up in an immaculately clean home... If my mother could do it, why can't I? I must not be a good mom. KC has helped me move passed that feeling through her content and this book. I highly recommend it if you are getting overwhelmed by life!

I've followed KC Davis on tiktok for a while, so when I found out she had a book I ordered it immediately. I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic health issues. I also have 2 small children and sensory issues. I've tried a lot of housekeeping tips and systems throughout the years but they all rely on willpower and executive function to power through and make yourself follow a system. I simply cannot do that when I'm struggling to just make myself get up, brush my teeth, and feed my kids. KC's gentle tips work off the assumption that you're already doing your best. She never uses shaming language, or expects you to just power through whatever blocks you're facing. She gives compassionate suggestions for making your space more functional for your function level. My house is actually neater than it's ever been for longer than it's ever stayed somewhat neat. My space functions for my family and I'm able to spend time resting and caring for myself and my family without guilt. KC Davis has changed my life. This book is worth every penny. You can also follow her on tiktok (@domesticblisters). I cannot recommend her content enough.

KC Davis genuinely changed my life. As a person with several mental health struggles, I Iived with a lot of shame about care tasks and functioning and often felt paralyzed by them, stuck in a constant state of “not good enough.” Because of KC’s videos and this book, I am living with more kindness and compassion for myself, my space and others than I ever have. And magically, when you remove the moral value from care tasks, they’re actually easier to do. My space and my life is infinitely more functional because of what I’ve learned, and I’m so much happier for it. “Thank you” feels incredibly inadequate for how much your words have touched my life, KC, but they’re all I’ve got. So: thank you.

KC Davis takes dread about “adulting” and makes the reader examine where the dread came from in the first place. Rather than another shame based how-to that’s impractical for most, this book is compassion based and a why-to guide for anyone struggling with caring for themselves, their space, and their kids.

I'm loving how it helps you look at things differently. It offers a freedom to let go of what everyone around you makes you think of yourself over your housekeeping skills and it helps you relax into the fact you may not have it all together, but you can do it. It will get done. It's a daily read, so you can read as much or little at a time and use what helps you immediately. Love it!

I'm a mom of two children two and under. I am drowning. This book succinctly provided 1) understanding that care tasks are not moral, and 2) practical advice for "keeping house". I read this book while breastfeeding my baby in one afternoon.

Such a thoughtful book. I will be implementing much of this in my own life and encouraging everyone I know to read this.

If you want to prepare your home for its upcoming magazine photo shoot, this book is not for you. But if you're living in the real world--you know, the one where there are toys all over your living room floor, dirty dishes piled up in your home office, and things growing in your bathroom that might or not be a legitimate biohazard--THIS IS YOUR BOOK! Partly because the actual method works (did you know there are only 5 things in any room?), but mostly because this book will finally shut up the evil voice in your head that shames you for your mess. A more functional home is easily worth the price of the book, but the silence in your head is a gift beyond price.

Great useful information that's written in a way that is easy to understand. Definitely worth a purchase. If this were a paperback or a work book I'd highlight a ton of good parts! GREAT JOB KC

KC takes a complicated, emotional subject and breaks it down with compassion and grace. I felt weepy while reading through this book — these are all of the things I wish someone had taught me before ‘almost-30.’ It would have saved me SO MUCH heartache in the first years of my marriage & home ownership when I put pressure on myself to do more. No one else was putting that pressure on me at the time, except somewhere I internalized everything this book wants us to un-learn. If you have never struggled with care tasks, please read this to help you understand how to help others. If you struggle with care tasks, mental health, and executive function, this could change everything for you.

I am in the middle of grief, toddler meltdowns, 2nd grade in person school during a pandemic, a husband who travels most of the time and a serious fall into depression. I, like many others, found TikTok during the quarentine and then found Domestic blisters. Hearing the phrase "doing dishes is morally neutral" was a massive wake up call for me. I was so stressed and shamed by the look of my home that I felt like a failure as a wife, mother and adult. I grew up in an immaculately clean home... If my mother could do it, why can't I? I must not be a good mom. KC has helped me move passed that feeling through her content and this book. I highly recommend it if you are getting overwhelmed by life!

I've followed KC Davis on tiktok for a while, so when I found out she had a book I ordered it immediately. I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic health issues. I also have 2 small children and sensory issues. I've tried a lot of housekeeping tips and systems throughout the years but they all rely on willpower and executive function to power through and make yourself follow a system. I simply cannot do that when I'm struggling to just make myself get up, brush my teeth, and feed my kids. KC's gentle tips work off the assumption that you're already doing your best. She never uses shaming language, or expects you to just power through whatever blocks you're facing. She gives compassionate suggestions for making your space more functional for your function level. My house is actually neater than it's ever been for longer than it's ever stayed somewhat neat. My space functions for my family and I'm able to spend time resting and caring for myself and my family without guilt. KC Davis has changed my life. This book is worth every penny. You can also follow her on tiktok (@domesticblisters). I cannot recommend her content enough.

KC Davis genuinely changed my life. As a person with several mental health struggles, I Iived with a lot of shame about care tasks and functioning and often felt paralyzed by them, stuck in a constant state of “not good enough.” Because of KC’s videos and this book, I am living with more kindness and compassion for myself, my space and others than I ever have. And magically, when you remove the moral value from care tasks, they’re actually easier to do. My space and my life is infinitely more functional because of what I’ve learned, and I’m so much happier for it. “Thank you” feels incredibly inadequate for how much your words have touched my life, KC, but they’re all I’ve got. So: thank you.

KC Davis takes dread about “adulting” and makes the reader examine where the dread came from in the first place. Rather than another shame based how-to that’s impractical for most, this book is compassion based and a why-to guide for anyone struggling with caring for themselves, their space, and their kids.

I'm loving how it helps you look at things differently. It offers a freedom to let go of what everyone around you makes you think of yourself over your housekeeping skills and it helps you relax into the fact you may not have it all together, but you can do it. It will get done. It's a daily read, so you can read as much or little at a time and use what helps you immediately. Love it!

I'm a mom of two children two and under. I am drowning. This book succinctly provided 1) understanding that care tasks are not moral, and 2) practical advice for "keeping house". I read this book while breastfeeding my baby in one afternoon.

Such a thoughtful book. I will be implementing much of this in my own life and encouraging everyone I know to read this.

If you want to prepare your home for its upcoming magazine photo shoot, this book is not for you. But if you're living in the real world--you know, the one where there are toys all over your living room floor, dirty dishes piled up in your home office, and things growing in your bathroom that might or not be a legitimate biohazard--THIS IS YOUR BOOK! Partly because the actual method works (did you know there are only 5 things in any room?), but mostly because this book will finally shut up the evil voice in your head that shames you for your mess. A more functional home is easily worth the price of the book, but the silence in your head is a gift beyond price.

Great useful information that's written in a way that is easy to understand. Definitely worth a purchase. If this were a paperback or a work book I'd highlight a ton of good parts! GREAT JOB KC

KC takes a complicated, emotional subject and breaks it down with compassion and grace. I felt weepy while reading through this book — these are all of the things I wish someone had taught me before ‘almost-30.’ It would have saved me SO MUCH heartache in the first years of my marriage & home ownership when I put pressure on myself to do more. No one else was putting that pressure on me at the time, except somewhere I internalized everything this book wants us to un-learn. If you have never struggled with care tasks, please read this to help you understand how to help others. If you struggle with care tasks, mental health, and executive function, this could change everything for you.

I grew up in a household with a chronically ill mother (this started for me in 3rd grade). While there were some wonderful things about the situation - such as my mother's ability to truly be there for me and not always busy with work - I missed some critical skills about how to manage household upkeep because it just wasn't getting done due to her chronic illness and other household dysfunction. I literally didn't have an example of how normal people tackle housework. I'm just familiar with overrun, overwhelm, and self loathing (as modeled to me by my mother). This book is teaching me some of those things I missed ways. Most importantly, it's written in bite size chapters so reading it isn't daunting. It makes tackling housework possible. I'm finally on weeks long streak of keeping up my home without the awful moral judgement that our society so often assigns to keeping our living spaces nice and tidy. I cannot thank the author enough.

This woman has by far the kindest most compassionate & relatable approach for those that struggle with maintaining the demands, mainly-up keep, of life. She has formatted the book in a manner that allows those with attention difficulties to easier focus and complete the book. Chapters are only a page or page and half & her style is calm & no judgmental. KCDavis has taught me to be kinder to myself. That good enough is what’s enough and just bc you fall behind it not a reflection of who you are as a person. “Care tasks are morally neutral” I have referred her thoughts and ideas to my therapist and counselors that I work with. All have agreed that Ms Davis has a wonderfully touching book here. As for myself, I tell every one I come across, to buy her book. Thank you KC. You have validated me during such a difficult time in my life. Your book was like a hug and unconditional encouragement with every turn of the page. Thank you.

KC knows. This book has clearly been written by a person who has been there. Some days are a single paragraph. There isn't a single ounce of fluff in this book, and the relief is palpable. Guys, if you think you can't do it, you can do this. The author is so kind and compassionate and works to help you change some really vital things, like how you speak to yourself about yourself or your house or your meal plan while also giving you tools to cope with your house in a gentle way. At one point she emphasizes that if it takes you three days just to handle the trash in one room, that's totally fine. You don't need to be unkind to yourself, it's not bad or wrong, HOUSEWORK IS MORALLY NEUTRAL. For real, I want that tattooed. If you haven't come from her tiktok, you should head there, like, now. @domesticblisters

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If you have depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, any chronic condition that interferes with your daily functioning--if you have any reason to beat yourself up for not keeping up with a job and housekeeping and parenting and friends and doing it all perfectly--if you're just suffering pandemic burnout, read this book. Then re-read it, one short chapter per day. It's like listening to a friend who cares about you and gives both things to think about and practical tips for managing what the author calls "care tasks". Favorite quote: "It's not failure. It's laundry."

I learned about this book because I follow the author on TikTok. I'm so grateful for her voice and reason. Switching thoughts from "my house is a mess, I'm horrible" to "what care tasks will make things function better right now" makes things less stressful and less emotionally charged. If I don't get it done, I'm not a moral failure. Asking, what can I do to make this function for me -- is so much better than shaming myself for what I don't do

KC Davis says, “You do not exist to maintain a space of static perfection. Care tasks exist for one reason only... to make your body and space functional enough for you to easily experience the joy this world has to offer.” Amen and amen.

Get. This. Book! I have always struggled to keep my house clean. With 2 kids and a husband as a 3rd it’s a never ending battle and eventually gets the best of me. This year we added in a baby and some postpartum anxiety. Not to mention a messy house is my top trigger. It takes 1 day for my house to get messy, go 2 and it’s a disaster that overwhelms and paralyzes me. Then the guilt and shame kick in. It was a never ending cycle. I’ve tried so many cleaning routines and watched all the YouTube videos, I’ve made chore charts and zone charts. It works fine as long as I keep it up every single day but as soon as life gets hectic, as life always does, my house would go back to disaster again and there I was struggling and screaming at my family. This book is exactly what I needed for those moments. A simple guide to walk me through those times instead of just being so overwhelmed I couldn’t do anything. Encouragement and love, and to know I can rest without my house being perfect. I can’t say enough good things about this book. It has already changed my life and I will be keeping it near by to reread as needed.

KC is amazing. Her Tiktok content alone has been more beneficial to my mental health than 2 years of in person therapy. Not saying don't break up with you're therapist, but KC is just amazing. I bought the book for myself and for my mother in law who is the main caretaker for my Father in law. Both have health issues and aren't able to have as clean of a home as they'd like. Now when I call my Mother in law she says things like "I just need to make the space functional for us" *Applause!* KC has helped me over come mom guilt also.

I'm currently dealing with a very out of control messy house, ADHD and major depression has made my life super hard, I'm in school, working and a mom to 7, married to someone that works 6-7 days a week. I bought this book for help with finding a cleaning system that works for me. I've been running the dishwasher nearly every night, It's been really nice having a clear sink to make my coffee and fill my water bottle. I hope to get to better functioning sooner than later. Highly recommend

This book takes such a compassionate and caring approach to helping someone get started when they feel like they are lost. I love that the chapters are very short and easy to read so if you have depression or executive dysfunction or just can't sit and read for a long time, the chapters range from half a page to two pages. There is absolutely no judgement from the author and she also encourages you not to judge yourself. Very helpful tips for how to actually get tasks done as well as how to think differently about the tasks and yourself.

The author really focused on getting you the most help for the least effort which I found very helpful and refreshing. Each chapter has truly helpful tips, information, or framing that you can implement immediately. Even if you only have enough energy to read on chapter (which can be as few as a single page), you will walk away with a understanding of how to help yourself. There is enough information and an example to make sure that it is understood but is free from the extra fluff Ive found in self-help books. Its really helped me re-frame the way I look at care tasks and has helped alleviate a lot of the guilt I was feeling surrounding my home, rest, and the pressure I was feeling to constantly be cleaning. Could not possibly recommend this book any more.

So I read this in one sitting. As an ADHD brain that is a mountain 😅 it was so digestible and real. I'm a mom of 2 just diagnosed with CPTSD and ADHD. This touched on things I didn't even know I needed to be aware of. Creative and gentle approaches to real issues. The author levels with you like a peer instead of a lost dog like most self-help books seem to do. I literally wanna buy a stack of this book and just toss them at everyone I know because it is genuinely gold. Don't even think twice, just read it.

This book is amazing. Growing up, I was taught that perfection is the only answer. I was never given skills on how to cope with my mental health, let alone actually feasibly keep a house clean. I’m so hopeful that I can learn how to do better while being kinder to myself and stop feeding myself so many unhealthy messages. I feel like someone has reached down to help me and meet me where I am about this issue for the first time in my life.

I've been following KC on tiktok and her videos have helped me tremendously. I have 2 kids, both hubby and me work from home and being home and depressed during the pandemic Broke my brain. This book is so valuable just for the paradigm shift in perspective. Housekeeping is morally neutral. This is huge, even though it seems like a simple statement. If you have ADHD, depression or kids under 3, get this book

This author's message is life affirming and life changing. I am not my mess, and my mess is neither good nor bad, it just is. Asking whether or not a task functions positively or not for *me, is more important than placing value judgements, which can be so damaging. Practical and compassionate advice is just what this autistic, ADHD-having mom of 3 needed.

I started watching her videos because of a friend who suffers from! Anxiety. I struggle on and off with depression and am the kind of person who puts insane pressure on myself to be excellent in every way. Not only have her tips helped me to keep house more efficiently and happily, I have started this journey of learning patience with myself and allowing positive changes instead of shoulding myself into paralysis. I have more patience with my family and can be calmer and more caring with my toddler because my inner dialogue is changing. The why shift is a big deal I'm feeling motivated instead of devastated. KC you are a heroine of the highest order.

I would recommend this book to anyone struggling. I have been battling PPD. I have struggled with why can't I just change? Why can't I just clean? I used to be very OCD and cleaned when I was stressed. I've turned into the opposite. This book has already helped change my mindset that it's okay not to be okay and perfect. One category, one room at a time. I CAN do this!!

2020 has hobbled me in ways I never could have imagined. This book helped bring back some needed perspective on care tasks and housework. Not sure I appreciated how much unhelpful baggage I have around housekeeping. Now I have a little less of that baggage, and my kitchen floor is clean for the first time in four months. I have a way forward now.

Simple, yet I'd never considered the idea that struggling with maintaining everything in life doesn't make me a failure. It makes me a mom that's struggling. Thank you for the permission to be kind to myself even while I'm staring at a pile of laundry and a sink overflowing with dishes. I've tied my worth to my home, because everyone tells me the home is my job, and I want to be good at my job. But years of being shamed by everyone including myself hasn't worked. I'm going to take a chance on radical kindness.

I found KC Davis on TikTok and took about 2 hours pouring through her videos. Everything she said connected with my experience and expectations around cleaning. It seems like cleaning should be a simple thing but KC Davis gives a voice to how debilitating our relationship to it can be and she offers practical and compassionate advice for how to see it differently.

This author is amazing. I actually follow her on tik tok. And she has such amazing advice and keeps it real. Her book so far has been a great read. I've only been able to read blurps when I have time. If more people were like her we would all feel normal and would stop judging others.

The premise is simple - care tasks are functional, not moral. Just doing enough to get by is okay. Sounds simplistic, but the ingrained morality of it all - a messy house is "bad", a clean house is "good" - gets turned around so that completing care tasks isn't about shame or guilt, it's about care of self and making your space and yourself functional. For those feeling overwhelmed because there's so much to do and it's neverending, do yourself a favor and read this book.

I have been following KC on tiktok for a while and her content has changed the way I view my home, myself, and my roll in the world. I have always felt pretty alone in these feelings of executive dysfunction, not knowing that’s what it was, and now I feel so seen and understood. I love how the chapters are short but powerful. I see myself rereading this over the years before my kids get old enough to move out.

I have now purchased this book for 3 other people and recommended it to more. It's a quick easy read but full of profound mindset shifting advice that honestly relieves SO MUCH pressure. The way she teaches love and acceptance combined with practical tools is life changing! So grateful!

I originally found KC on TikTok and was so excited to buy her book. As a working mom of 3 with ADHD and executive dysfunction, her approach to self care & care tasks has helped to lift the weight of shame and inadequacy. She’s helped me to better care for myself and my family through her empathetic words. Through caring for myself and my family, I’ve been able to put into place *functionally sustainable* systems that work for our family’s needs. I am forever thankful to her!

KC has changed my life. Because of her, I am not drowning in guilt on top of my depression and PTSD. I do not fall asleep crying anymore. I make my space work for me. She also inspired me to do what I could to make my impossible task easier, and I shaved my head! It is glorious!! I bought two of these for gifts for my sisters, and everyone I know will be getting a copy because THEY DESERVE IT.

life changing book for people with depression or other neurodivergences. it's a pretty short read so your adhd brain can take a little break and not feel stuck behind a giant project of a book. this piece has helped me immensely!!

Buying this as a gift for every new parent and everyone I know who struggles with depression. This gave me some much needed self compassion and useful strategies for dealing with the daily tasks of keeping a home clean(ish) during a horrendously stressful time.

I follow KC on TikTok, and I haven't bought and read a book for myself since middle school, but I bought and read this one. I highly reccomend anyone who struggles with daily tasks to rsad this book. I've already had my husband read it, and I talk about it to everyone.

This book is perfect for all of us who have more to do, more to cope with than we can handle every day. Taking the guilt and self-punishment out of tasks was a new concept for me. Understanding self-care and the tasks to support that was a great, and much needed, lesson I learned from reading this book.

I loved how gentle and compassionate this book was! The recurring motto that shame is the enemy of functioning really hit home for me. I recommended this book to my mom and grandma because it was immediately obvious to me how deep intergenerational trauma around care tasks is in my family. I’m 24 and would recommend to people of any age because these are essential skills to absorb, but I honestly wish I would’ve read this when I was 18 and learning how to live with others with a totally moral outlook on cleaning, cooking, and hygiene. Thank you for this gift of knowledge I can utilize for the rest of my life!

This book is stellar! It helps you stop being so critical of yourself—especially regarding care tasks like house cleaning. Here’s the secret sauce, though. That mindset spills over into the rest of your life. This book is so helpful if you’d like to start being kind to yourself and those around you. It’s short, and can be read in one sitting, but you can also read a little nugget of goodness each day. It really helps. During a pandemic, or any stressful time in your life, this is required reading.

Accepting the idea that care tasks are not moral is the hardest work of this book. And maybe the most important thing you can do. Easy to approach and with small things that will make your life better. Absolute awesomeness.

So many people have done a great job of reviewing this book, and what they say is true. KC is amazing on TikTok, and I highly recommend this book. I'm a Psychologist and have recommended this book to several of my clients.

This book is a life changing, mindblowing 20 minute masterpiece. It’s completely changed how I view my home, my own thoughts and especially how I feel about myself (for the better). I’m a new mom of a 6 month old and I couldn’t have read this at a more critical time. Thank you KC 💕 P.S. I need a friend like you lol

This was very insightful. I really enjoyed the simple straightforward way KC explains the function of care tasks. Quick and easy read. If you don’t follow her on social media I highly recommend it.

This was such a quick read but it gets to the heart of things. The author gives USEFUL insight and advice, unlike all of the books that just don’t acknowledge the reasons people are seeking help in the first place. This isn’t preachy, overwhelming, or filled with toxic positivity and useless “tips.” I absolutely loved it and highly recommend it!

This is real, compassionate and understanding help for people who are struggling to do everything needed to keep a home functional and clean while also dealing with physical and mental health issues. Highly recommend to those who are having trouble with balancing their mental/physical health with keeping their home up for their mental/physical health.

Loved that it was small. I loved the methods and kindness shown by the author. The care tasks can be challenging especially as a new mom without support.This book gives a new perspective to handle these things with gentleness .

I found KC on tikTok and heard her ideas but reading in depth helped me so much. I actually got my kitchen in a good functional standing for once in a long long time. I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with life's craziness.

This book is great for anyone struggling with care tasks! Moms, neurodivergent folks, single parents, dads, singles, any one will benefit from this grace filled approach of caring for yourself and your environment. Your space is there to serve you. You are not there to serve your space.

i discovered the author on tiktok and she is such a lovely and comforting presence! her tips and affirmations really changed my life. this book is a short but very important and helpful read! it changed my whole perspective on a lot of what i felt were my personal failures and shortcomings. reading it feels like she wrote it just for u, and it’s easier to be kinder to urself when she is so kind and gentle.

KC has absolutely changed my life and helped me be kinder to myself. If you’re reading this KC, thank you! I wish I could give you a huge consensual hug for the impact you have made on my life!

I got this book for me and my 2 best friends for Christmas best thing I have ever done for myself so happy I could share with them. It's showed me a few things I didn't know about myself and has helped me down my healing road that I have been on for caring tasks 😍🤟

Self Help tome will help to eradicate old beliefs. Keeping house is NOT a moral obligation. You can do things 'good enough' that your life is 'functioning' letting go of the myth of perfection. But two and share. I did!

This little gem provided a warm kindness and a sense of support that I greatly needed. It was like chatting with a kind old friend during a rough time.

This was recommended to me in a fb group. I liked that it was a short read but it didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know.

very kind and informative, I have recommended it to friends that like me about to be 30 but feel like I know nothing of being a "true" adult.

gave this to my daughter in her Christmas stocking. made her laugh, made her cry, made my son in law go "oh, I should have known..."

Highly recommended this book to EVERYONE. Tiktok made me buy it and I wish I could give them to every new mother or anyone struggling. Follow her on tiktok at @domesticblisters you won't regret her content there either for more help.

This book has helped me so much. We’re not looking for perfection anymore, just functional. And house chores are morally neutral! Thank you for helping me keep my house functional for my family

Absolutely love this book. The content is incredible, will shift your perspective on house cleaning. A must read!

She has changed my life so much, I will recommend this to everyone I know. If you are struggling this is for you

I am a just started my career as mental health therapist and live with my grandparents who are retired it is so hard cleaning especially since they are at the age it is hard doing things. This advice helped me to find a way to keep up with cleaning which I appreciate! I use to be hard on myself because I did not have a spotless home but now I am learning to be more compassionate to myself.

This is one of the only things truly helping me amid a mental illness diagnosis and pandemic related stress. Lots of practical yet kind advice to get the ball rolling and tackle the deeply unpleasant energy barrier we all struggle with in taking care of ourselves. Recommended to everyone within earshot so fast.

This is the BEST..I repeat ..the BEST and most simply stated informative book I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I'm 7O and ADHD. I've read many books but none compare to this simple and real way to deal with the everyday struggles of house cleaning. I can't thank you enough KC Davis. Love you on TikToc also.

I discovered the author on TikTok last summer and have been following her since. As soon as she announced this book, I had to get it. Her methods are simple, and her words of comfort are so welcome. I have ADHD and struggle with care tasks. Most books seem so rigid and borderline shaming, but this book has none of that. This book is like reading a series of comforting messages from a best friend.

This was such a healing book. I so appreciate the kindness and insight that KC put into every aspect of what she does.

Completely changed my mindset for the better. No longer feel bogged down by guilt and instead recognize the functionality in my home, even though it might not be perfect. Striving for perfection is a perpetual state of failure—striving for functionality is so freeing!

I started watching KCs tiktoks toward the middle of quarantine when I was in a deep depression and barely treading water. Her book made a world of difference to me and has helped me get to a place of functionality that has made a huge dent in my mental health for the better.

Great book to look at cleaning and life balance. This book helped me to see why cleaning is so emotionally charged.

This book is exactly what the title says. It is written in small manageable chapters that aren’t overwhelming, but they are highly impactful. Highly recommend!

Easy to read and great tips! This book takes away all the shame we tend to have around not being adequate adults. Its gentle and helpful

Oh this book! Such simple, easy to follow concepts that have changed EVERYTHING! I could not be more grateful for this book and it’s author! ❤️❤️❤️

Yes life changing I started wat him her on tik tok, seen and related to more and more, and has to buy the book. Can't wait til the next one

Every page of this book was like a breath of fresh air, a weight off my shoulders, the sweet sweet relief of tension leaving my sore achy muscles as I let my body relax. As I sat on my couch reading this book, with chores surrounding me, the to do list in my mind melted away and I felt peace. This book is for anyone who has a body, or lives in a place.

This book helped me so much. I highly recommend for its insight on the "morality" of keeping house. You are the most important thing.

So many awesome principles that apply to mental health and not just keeping house. Quick read. Not overwhelming advice, easy to apply suggestions. Love this book and recommend to all friends who are feeling and reeling from the tough pandemic season of life.

This book has changed my life. For anyone struggling to keep up with care tasks and dealing with guilt/shame about it - this book will help you. It’s an extremely quick and straightforward read.

This book is shorter than I expected it to be, but that's not a bad thing. I read through it in an hour or so when it first came, and am now reading one section a day. It has a lot of helpful mindset shifts if you've ever struggled with your self-worth around keeping your house clean.

Great insight, super easy read, short chapters that get to the point and give me things to think about. The author is great, discovered this book and her through Tiktok and she is simply amazing.

This books is small, but mighty. I am struggling with postpartum depression and a very recent ADHD diagnosis at 31, and honestly just feel like I’m drowning in unmet care tasks. This book was so validating and kind while also being super practical. I am so glad I found KC on TikTok and decided to get this book!

An excellent and kind take on self compassion in care tasks. Succinct and yet offers some real methods and systems on how to change your mindset or approach household tasks. Lovely and easy to read, each chapter is a warm hug of it’s going to be okay.

Literally.my.life! Loved this book. Truly spoke truth where I hadn't heard it before. Quick, easy read. Read it, it's great!

Realizing care tasks are morally neutral lifts a huge weight off of my shoulders. Wish I could have gotten that message sooner.

Love this book!! Title is spot on, the author has so much compassion and practical tips for people who are struggling to keep up with all the care tasks in their home. No shame, just help!!

I follow KC Davis on TikTok and I just bought this book. It’s amazing and life changing. I have a 2.5 yo and a 7 month old and it’s hard to keep up on housework. I feel so much guilt and shame about it. But reading this book made me realize that I don’t need to feel that way. Thank you so much KC!!!

A++ Great advice. Very encouraging and helpful.

Super helpful. I have always had trouble keeping my house clean and this book helped me realize it's because I was ashamed of the mess. When I got rid of the shame it became way easier to maintain a functioning home.

KC has saved my sanity! She was reinvented parts of my life and supplied me with the confidence and encouragement to prioritize myself and let my space serve me. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her guidance

This book literally walked me away from the edge. It was recommended in one of my chronic medical Facebook support groups.

I found helpful insight in this book. It's very short and easy to read too. Not any complicated system, but a simple thought process to build on. I enjoy KC on Tiktok and this book didn't disappoint :)

I've read countless "how to clean if you're a messy, lazy, loser" books. FINALLY something that addresses why this mindset (and not my mess) is destroying my mental health.

Easy to read, relatable, kind and comforting, and really put things in perspective. So refreshing to read content that made me feel like I’m already doing great, with subtle encouragement, ideas and suggestions.

Amazing book!!! Changed my life !!!!

My sister and I have been following her on social media for months and gave this to my sister for Christmas. She was so HAPPY!!! We are so glad for this author and her impact on our lives.

This book really spoke to me, and was extremely helpful and moving. I absolutely recommend this book. 1000/10

This short book is full of great advice on how to change the paradigm of the way we address caring for ourselves and our homes. Cleaning is morally neutral, but this book is morally good.

Amazing self care book. I have learned a lot and hope to better myself and my family. I hone this helps you too!

Very informative....got a little emotional about halfway through... so many people need to read this!!

LOVE This author! She's amazing, and this book is so helpful!

As soon as I started reading this book, I started telling people in my life that they too needed it. I'm looking forward to the upcoming workbook!

Author truly understands the impact of mental health challenges on one’s ability to function at the most basic level and offers nonjudgmental words of comfort.

An absolutely necessary read for anyone who has ever struggled. Quick and easy to finish, and it gives me hope for peace in my home.

Quick, to the point, and easy to read. No more wading through a long book feeling as if the book itself is as daunting as that pile of laundry. Useful advice that I think will make my therapist proud to see me use.

This is life changing! Now I can see why the thought of cleaning fills me with dread. And also why I am driven to clean “before doing “x” and “y”. Thank you so much for sharing this information!!!!

I loved this book. It's talk of self compassion in multiple aspects of life really rung home to me. If you're adhd, I definitely recommend it. And if you're neurotypical, I recommend it too.

Love it!

This really made me re think my thoughts on cleaning and caring for myself as a person with chronic illnesses and depression!

Just Awesome!!! No shame. No judgment. Making it simple, stress free, creating new tools to get through hard times. If you are overwhelmed, this is for you.

Love this book. Huge help!

I will be recommending this to literally everyone. Especially this year, everyone needs to hear (read) the things KC has shared in this book.

I love watching KCs TikTok videos and bought her book to help me with my house. If you're struggling, this book and her videos are a good place to start!

I’ve struggled with so many things she talks about in this book. Really puts things into perspective. I love the idea that cleaning your space is a form of self care.

I don't read much but when I do it's usually self help books and this one also fits the bill of being focused, easy and quick to read.

So many good suggestions to help reduce getting overwhelmed! Gently motivating and non-judgmental. I really appreciate the author for writing this book.

Great strategies for anyone struggling with home care. Best thing about it is it actually made me see my life as more functional.

Amazing book, actual practical tips for struggling people everywhere. The basics of harm reduction applied to your life and space

I'd recommend this to any human being who needs to recreate their relationship with care tasks. It will help me during seasons of struggle.

you’re already considering it; buy it. worth its weight in gold.

It is amazing how simple of a concept can be so life changing! Functionality not morality will help me rearrange my life and live happier

I can’t even begin to express how positively this book has changed my mental health. I recommend it to everyone I can!

This book is gold. All of her advice has been so life changing and freeing for me. Easy to read and super practical!

This book made me sit down and tell myself that I loved myself. I plan to read it again but this time to take notes. 10/10

Such a quick read. A small time investment for such kind, loving advise. ❤️ Loved it.

Seriously, life changing!

Helped me with so much anxiety. I bought a few copies and sent them to friends.

To the point, helpful, gentle, absolutely encouraging!

Absolutely life changing in every way.

I love how this book is formatted. Even though I struggle with doing 31 days of ANYTHING in a row, I liked how KC made these chapters short, full of grace, and deeply practical. While I do not have kids or severe depression, I do struggle with seasonal depression and 2020 has felt like the longest season of my life. Easy tasks feel mammoth and I put off things until the last minute constantly. I read her book straight through for the purposes of this review and felt relief woven through every page. She doesn't pretend to be someone who has it all together either. In every page she writes of her own struggles in these areas, offering a companion for the journey. I highly recommend this little book to anyone who's struggling with daily tasks, especially if they (like I) attribute morality to them. Five stars.

I loved this little book and read it in about thirty minutes. I'll be sixty this year and I wish I had had this sweet little book to read when I was twenty one with a colicky baby, a very traditional farmer husband, and a tiny, perpetually cluttered, funky-smelling house. I wish I had had it when I was thirty with a second unhappy baby and a nine year-old who deserved more of my attention than he received, an angry (different) husband, a dusty two-story bungalow in Kansas, and a laundry room in a dark, dank basement. I wish I has had it when I was forty-two, married to my third and this time alcoholic husband, someone who shamed me constantly because his shirts weren't all hung in the same directly by color and season, who screamed at me one day because there was lint behind the dryer. Finally, I wish I had had it eight years ago when I had cancer and continued to spend time berating myself because my house was never perfectly clean. Finally, I'm glad I have it today to remind myself that rest is not a luxury, it's a responsibility. KC has insight into how cleaning is not a moral issue, it does not determine our worth, and tiny steps combined with conscious, loving self-care are the answer to a whole helluva lot, not just whether the laundry and dishes are done. I'm recommending this to everyone I know, but especially to all the young moms I know. This is a lifesaver.

Lately I feel like “self-care” is a fad. It kind of puts me off and I was initially hesitant to pick this up. But after reading this short little book where the author tells you exactly how you can be compassionate with yourself when you are low (for any reason), I think I found what self-care looks like for me. This is a unique perspective - using housework as the way to find yourself feeling better not because she tells you how specifically to do housework, but because she helps you realize that sometimes doing less will help you more and how to feel that way by a shift in your perspective. (Don’t get me wrong, she does offer tips about how you can make your time more efficient and suggestions about what to prioritize and some simple tweaks that help you prioritize and have more time for things you enjoy.) I am the person who can’t relax or feel like I can go have fun without ALL the things being done. I’ve been missing the joy of doing things I want to do because I didn’t feel I deserved it until my “work” is done. I have ADHD and struggle with bouts of depression. Getting going on tasks or being able to focus on one task at a time is frustratingly difficult for me. I’ve learned how to understand that “problem” in a different way. I’m not a person that is good with implementing change - but this gives what I felt was an easy way to change a bit. I highly recommend this well written book if you struggle with depression, anxiety, and/or ADHD and are a parent. Sit down and let yourself just read it.

Revolutionary. Fantastic little book. Buy it now, you won’t regret it! I found KC on tiktok and have really benefited from her wisdom. I was so excited to see this book come out today! There is so much peace and freedom available here through reshaping your views on what it means to keep house. KC’s views on focusing on functionality and reorganizing systems that aren’t working for you have been so fruitful and rewarding in my own life. Realizing and remembering that care tasks are morally neutral has freed me from so much false guilt and shame when things in my house or life don’t “look” the way I want them to. This is such a blessing in those seasons where life is extra tough.

She says at the end of the introduction that if you cried during the introduction that this book is for you. I was sobbing. This short, but powerful, book was for me. I have lost a lot of weight over the last few years. I credit my success with reframing food and my physical size from "good" or "bad" to morally neutral. By not allowing myself to see the bag of Cheetos I just ate as a bad thing, or myself as a bad person, I was able to overcome much of the self-hate that made up my relationship with food. I swear I'm on topic, hang on a second. It never, ever occurred to me that what she calls "care tasks" should be viewed in the same fashion! Yet, once I read that these tasks are morally neutral and that their purpose is to be functional only, I swear I got "it". I am astounded that I didn’t see it sooner, but I'm so glad I see it now. I feel like a whole new person. I think my care tasks will get done more often now because I deserve a functional space.

Reading this book feels like someone looked in to my scattered, tired, hurting ADHD brain and gave it a big hug... and then offered a helping hand. KC is so helpful, and so gentle, real, and encouraging. Reading this does not overwhelm me with expectations of what my house “should” look like in the end. It’s not about how to keep a spotless house. It’s about how to be kind to yourself and keep a functional home. It’s about releasing the moral criticism around keeping house. It is about allowing yourself the freedom to enjoy clean and/or functional spaces simply because it feels good and serves your needs, rather than because you are “a good mom/wife/person”. It’s about letting go of the guilt and shame over having messy spaces, and allowing yourself to feel compassion toward yourself. “Shame is the enemy of productivity”, so let it go! For anyone struggling, I highly recommend it! 💜

The author seems like a lovely person who genuinely understands what it means to struggle. Personally, I would not feel ok with everything she suggests from an environmental standpoint, but I can see where she's coming from. During really difficult periods I can see how some of the approaches she suggests could work. At any rate, her gentle, compassionate and realistic voice and suggestions are a pleasure to read.

This book is a gift of permission to anyone who holds themselves too much accountable for maintaining a perfect home. Even if you’re not super depressed or physically incapable, you can still benefit from reading How to Keep House While Drowning. We can spend ridiculous amounts of time cleaning while life just passes us by. And what about our relationships? What about us? Have some fun. I try to spend more time doing the tasks that will actually stay done the longest and less on the things that have to be constantly redone. It’s a lot more satisfying.

Care tasks are functional, not moral. You're not a bad person for not having a sparkling house. You're not a bad person for putting three dirty baby bottles into a clean load of dishes and running it. Be kind and patient with yourself, do what gets you through, and stop judging your worthiness against a never ending list of tasks and expectations. This book was simple and controversial, filled with self care in a form we all could use and don't feel we can admit we need.

This book was a quick read. Someone I follow on Instagram recommended it. It is a major shift in perspective to look at care tasks as immoral. Obviously they are immoral but they are not viewed that way by society. I thought the author made some great points. I would like to see more of a “how to” I’m not sure how I train my brain to look at a sink full of dishes and not be stressed out about it.

Shortest chapters ever. Each chapter averages 2 pages in length. This book is short but concise. Easily manageable for people with ADHD or other mental disorders. In addition, it is highly applicable with practical advice. The author is active on TikTok, and I like pairing her videos with the book. My husband also enjoyed this book; while it is more written towards the female gender, it is applicable to both. The biggest take away personally was that it is alright to start a task and not finish it in one setting. It is better to start the dishes even if I don’t finish all of them than leave them and have more pile up.

This book is literally not just for mothers. I found myself taking screenshots and sending most pages to my husband. My husband and I both had our own personal trauma childhood experiences; therefore, “chores or personal care tasks” are a nightmare in our household. Mind you, we are first time parents, almost mid 20s, and Hispanic. No one in our families understand that mental health is actually the factor of not doing “chores”. Fortunately, my husband can IGNORE messy house/lazy people comments!!! Me on the other hand.... my body is internally burning with a smile on my face. This book definitely changed my lens. I will no longer be on cleaning mode all day. My husband and I can definitely Pat ourselves in the back because we really prefer family time over mom yelling about cleaning lol!!! This book just made me feel 1000% better. I’m a functional mother and that’s all that matters!!!!

This is a great book about how to and the whys of not beating yourself up.about why good enough Is Good Enough 💃🏻❣️and function and purpose. With gentle loving care and understanding kindness with thoughtful insights and suggestions and stop shaming and beating yourself up.It’s Your Right ❣️👍🏻🥳🥰🤗Short,Sweet, and to the point with wit and humour.

This book radically changed my attitude and outlook on taking care of myself and my home. Renaming chores as care tasks? Brilliant. My new favorite quote: Good enough is perfect. And I'll never forget the moment I learned that clean dishes have no moral value. I didn't even realize I thought that way until I read this book. It's also incredibly thoughtful that this book was written in a way that is approachable, inviting, and easy to digest for someone who is struggling. Regardless of whether or not my house is cleaner now than it was before I read this book (and it is), I no longer feel overwhelmed or discouraged by my surroundings. I'll be recommending this to everyone I know that's just had a baby, has a mental illness, has chronic pain, is recovering from surgery or a sickness, or is simply struggling. Which I'm pretty sure is all of us these days.

I cannot recommend this book enough...having a baby and post parfum depression during a pandemic was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My sanctum crumbled, I wanted to crawl under the covers and meld with my pajamas. As a mom to three under 6, that option was not availed to me. Rerunning the dishwasher because I didn’t want to empty it. Permission granted. We’re not in danger of any health code violations, but I may never fold laundry again.

Not only has this book brought me to tears multiple times, but it is helping my mother who is struggling through 30 years of trauma and pain. The concepts it presents and the compassionate way the author addresses the reader is life changing, truly. Thank you for the impact you've had on my life.

I’ve been anticipating this book and finished it in one sitting. I will also be sitting my mom down tomorrow and having her read it. She was never diagnosed for her ADHD and dropped out of school at 15, and got her GED to provide for us. She’s recently going through being recently separated from my father, and they’re getting a divorce. They were married 27 years. I want to help her unlearn the unhealthy cleaning habits she developed while basically providing a house and home for my father while battling her health. I’m autistic and live at home with her and our house falls apart often. I can’t wait to try some new life changes with her. Being alive is a privilege and should not have be a task.

This is a short but profoundly helpful book that reads quite a bit like KC Davis’ remarkably useful TikTok advice (@domesticblisters). Ms. Davis is a licensed counselor and currently a stay-at-home mom to two small children. Her profound statement that the “care tasks” of housekeeping are “morally neutral,” (I.e., meant to serve us and provide functionality without carrying emotional weight) — it’s a galaxy-brain level eye-opener if you are someone who struggles with housekeeping, self-care, and rest. I will be throwing this book at friends, family, and therapy clients - it’s a complete game-changer.

I love the compassionate and understanding tone of this book! The primary point of cleaning for function rather than out of a moral sense of right or wrong rings very true. It seems odd to me that this concept is not something I have ever thought or heard. I think my life will be much better now that I have!

I loved how quick the book was. I knew I could read quick chapters when I had 5 minutes. I learned a lot about myseld, and learned some really useful tips to help my home function better for my family. Read this book if you think you need it (you do), and DEFINETELY read it if you don't think you need it ( you need it or someone you know could benefit from you knowing this information ❤

I follow the author on tiktok and often watch her videos when I’m depressed and unable to get out of bed/take a shower. I bought her book the moment I learned about it and it’s honestly one of the best purchases I’ve made. I’ve spent my whole life thinking that a dirty house makes me a lazy person, when in reality it just means that it’s lived in. It’s not a moral failure. Thank you for reminding me of this!

I've been watching KC on TikTok for a while now, and finally got to read her book. Y'all. When I say I cried several times, it a GOOD THING! I was raised to see care tasks as moral, and have connected not doing them with being screamed at, having things thrown at me, and essentially fearing for my life. I had combatted that as an adult by just not doing things until I absolutely had to. Today, I cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom because I wanted to. And I felt good the whole time! I couldn't have done that without KC. Thank you so much for being the kind voice I needed.

I love KC’s TikToks and this book really pulled them all together in one place for me. I struggle with mental health and also have 2 kids and a busy life and used to feel so much guilt for not having a perfectly clean house. This has helped me remove myself from shame and focus on function and capability.

My daughter shared this book with me and I instantly feel in love with the easy and practical advice along with the authors realistic expectations. I felt 100% better about myself and my capabilities and became so motivated I actually cleaned my house. Started with the timer set for 10 minutes and followed the five steps, garbage first. Before my kids and I knew it, we were doing so much more. Thank you for being real.

This book is like taking a deep breathe and releasing the tension in your jaw and shoulders. Seriously, I feel like the author is a cherished friend who is reminding me to cherish myself. Check out the author on Tik Tok to get a feel for her message and you won't regret it!

Finally, a gentle and compassionate approach to organization! The first book I’ve read that focuses on self-care as much as home care. The author is a real cheerleader for letting go of shame and blame for those of us who are organizationally challenged. It’s a refreshing approach of function over perfection. If other organizational books just leave you feeling worse than before, this book is for you! (Only four stars because it is a very short read and left me hoping for more. Still, very worthwhile!)

I did not expect to like this book as much as I did. She has a true understanding of the difficulties of “keeping house while drowning”. I had so many aha moments. Sometimes it felt like she was even in my mind, and because of that she was able to perfectly explain how to change your perception on so many things that make it so hard to function while dealing with depression & anxiety. I’m so glad I decided to pick this up.

Wow, I really needed this book. I gave birth in the middle of a pandemic and my mental health definitely took a hit. This book was incredibly empathetic and hit the nail on the head. It provides gentle guidance for functioning daily.

I grew up in an abusive hoarder’s paradise. Therefore my mode of coping has always been “I have to do it ALL, it has to be perfect!” - well. That’s not life, is it? And especially now having a two year old boy. I would inevitably crash and burn, shaming myself for it. This woman and her work have truly changed my life and given me the tools I need to function and thrive. I recommend her books and TikTok videos to anyone I have convos with on cleaning/care tasks!

If you're struggling with taking care of yourself and not feeling like your housekeeping is up to par, you need to read this book. Changed how I look at taking care of my family completely. I feel like I can actually do this instead of being completely overwhelmed all the time. It's not a long read, but I'm ok with that because the author is to the point. She feels like a friend who wants the best for you. Her content on tiktok led me to the book, and her content on there is very helpful as well.

I reccomend this book to all parents! It’s a breath of fresh air amongst all the IG posts we compare ourselves to. There are some truly important concepts discussed here: self-compassion, dignity, and the right to recreation & rest.

This book is a warm hug and a cup of coffee. If you feel like you fail at all the adult parts of being an adult, this book is for you. It’s a fast read and doesn’t require any big planning or complex ideas. But it will quite possibly change everything about the way you view yourself, your house, and your relation to it.

I really like the way KC broke things down into small bits of doing things that are functional and removing a shame around having a neat space or folded clothes or any care task.

In light of being surrounded by call for perfection, this was a quick and refreshing read. Now, to get the partner to read and understand it.

I loved learning how to be kind to myself! As someone that battles both depression and anxiety, learning to be kind to myself is an uphill struggle. This book shows ways to be gentle to yourself, but also motivates you to care for yourself. Highly recommend!

The simple strategies outlined in this book are easy to implement and have already made a huge improvement in my life in less than a week! A must-read for anyone who struggles from depression, has a special needs child, or has too much of whatever on their plate.

KC is so kind. It's a simple book, small chunks that are easy to get through, but if you listen, your life will transform.

Priceless redirection of thought and intent, reframing one's view so care is not so overwhelming. It might help save me yet.

This book helped me move from, ‘DON’T FRET ABOUT HOUSEWORK,” to “Here are some practical and compassionate ways to stop fretting about housework.” Oh and then you get a nice big hug, and then some ways to actually do a little house work.

This book helped me so much. It showed me that I can find simple ways to help myself even when I’m feeling helpless. That I do not live to clean. And that my space is here to serve me, not the other way around. So much good info packed into this book.