Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

This is at least the 8th time I’ve bought this book. I just bought it again because I was thinking how I, as always, needed the reminders of how and why to raise my kids under the gospel, not just moralistically, and couldn’t find it on my shelf because I’d given it away, yet again. An extremely important book, and must have for all Jesus-loving parents. I bought it without a recommendation simply because Elyse Fitzpatrick was an author. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that before, but after reading Idols of the Heart in college I was blown away by her ability to TRULY balance speaking grace and truth together, in a way that not many do. Worth reading four times over.

This book, "Give Them Grace" is a true gift from GOD! I cannot recommend it enough! I have bought 6 of them for friends at church. I have read the book and now bought the audio book so I can listen while I'm driving. I keep listening to the preface and chapter 1 over and over. I come from a law/rules background and the idea of grace is scary to me at times - to let go of control, trust GOD, and see that I'm just as disobedient as my children are in different ways. That we both need to run to JESUS in everything. These are things I have heard of and some of them I know, but most of the principles I have never applied to life. "Give Them Grace" has opened my eyes to the amazing, wonderful, extravagant and oftentimes overwhelming grace of GOD like never before! This book is not just for parents either. You can apply these principles in lots of relationships. A definite must-have for every christian. Praise our great GOD and Savior JESUS CHRIST for how HE uses HIS body to bless and encourage! When my wife told me about this book at first I was put off by 2 things: the subtitle "Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" was way too much for me and women authors are not usually deep enough to hold my attention. I hesitantly started to read it and was completely overtaken and immersed and learned so much about the Grace of GOD and what it looks like in life than any other book. Shawn Faulkner Massachusetts

Well, there are already so many great reviews out there for this book that I'll keep this short. I have read many, many good parenting books, and many good Christ-centered books as well....and for me, this one takes the cake. So much of my heart has been exposed to me during the reading of this book, and both my husband and I have had many discussions on how we've been "missing" the gospel in our parenting, and in our lives overall for so long. (My husband loves this book, too.) I feel like I am being awakened to an understanding of the gospel that I've never had before, and really able to see Christ and His work intersect with my everyday life like I haven't before. All glory to Jesus in that, and this is the means that He used. This will from now on be my recommended parenting book (and one for all other occasions, as well!), and one that I look forward to reading over & over again.

This is one of the best books I have read about bringing up children to have a good life in God. It so excellent that every parent should read it if they want to have well adjusted, happy, giving and God loving children. The answer for raising children is in this book, because by giving them Jesus they will know where their strength is and they will know they cannot overcome without His mercy and grace. They will trust Him and know Him in every part of their life. I wish had had this book when I was raising my children. I believe thing would have been different for them. You see no parent can make their children change, but God can help them change while feeling His love.

Whether you have little kids or older kids, this book is very biblical. I was forced to look my parenting in the face and admit that I cared more about having good little rule followers than children whose hearts were soft and for Jesus. Get this book, friends. Lets encourage one another to give them grace and point their eyes to Christ.

I just finished reading the book, and the ending made my heart fill up so much. The gospel always makes me weepy and energetic at the same time, and that's how I felt after I put the book down. It's all about His grace. It's all about the accomplished work of Jesus on the cross. Grace is what I need and what my kids need. Grace helps us, sustains us, guides us. I've been recommending this book to all the parents I know who have experienced His grace. I've been recommending it to my Sunday School staff, and I'm finding that the truths of this book have been changing the way I am as a parent and as a pastor. I highly recommend this book to anyone but especially to parents and to those who work with kids in the church. It will change the way you think, change the way you parent, and hopefully change you!

What a powerful and convicting book! I realized after reading it while going through counseling for myself that I was not living in God's grace and as a result not showing my precious daughters that same grace. If I don't show them grace and subsequently mercy and forgiveness, how on earth can I hope, of course allowing for the work of the Holy Spirit, that they will embrace a relationship with Jesus? Thank you for writing this book on the vital subject of grace.

I just finished 'Give Them Grace', having taken my time reading it over a few months, and I have a hunch it will be one of those books I come back to again and again. It is so simple: we are massively loved by a gracious Father who justifies us freely by his Son -- we are to love our children because Jesus loves us, and his grace is sufficient for us and them. I've read probably an average number of parenting books...not loads and loads...but this book was so refreshing in the way it refocused my vision of parenting. It really isn't about whether I do it well or not, the point is God's glory. I LOVE the chapter that talks about how the purpose of our lives as believers, including as parents, is for God to be glorified however he chooses...this might mean compliant, obedient children but it might also mean lots of heartache, rebellion and weakness. It really is all about God's glory. I think it is such a timely word for a culture that is obsessed by personal success and happiness. The wonderful, liberating gospel message is so much better than that: we have the perfect obedience and faithfulness of Jesus as our record thanks to union with Christ. This is the only foundation from which we can parent with joy and freedom -- we're not trying to prove ourselves or control our kids, but simply resting in grace and, as the authors say, dazzling our beloved children with that grace. I also loved that it highlights our responsibility in mission, when it's easy for Christian parents to think that protecting our kids is a good reason to be isolated. In my opinion, the last two chapters are the best. But don't skip to them, because without the earlier chapters they wouldn't have nearly as much punch. I'm so thankful for God using these two ladies to shed some light on parenting. Lo and behold, it isn't as complicated as we might think, and the point isn't 'success' but merely enjoying Jesus' amazing grace (that is, Jesus himself) and delighting to share his great love with our kids. Reading this book was like one big sigh of relief for a mom who really wants to get it right. Read it yourself to find out why!

I loved that this was NOT another "how to" book. There were no check lists, just a lot of encouragement to think about how we can show our kids how Jesus pours His grace out on us, and how we can help guide our children into a place of reverence and delight as we experience the forgiveness He that extends to us all. I particularly loved how they gave ideas for conversations with your kids. While I didn't agree completely with the ways those conversations took place in the book, the examples made it really easy to understand the points they were getting at, which made it easier to envision and put into practice those concepts in ways that fit our family.

I am going to start this review out a little differently than most. I am going to admit that I was initially reluctant to read this book. I mean, I was both excited and suspicious of it all at once if you can imagine that. Things were being said like, "It is the best parenting book ever written!" and "This book is the parenting book that all others will be compared to!". In my mind I couldn't help but think, this is some pretty high praise! It seemed as though people were claiming that the pages of Give Them Grace held some new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that hadn't been tapped before. Old but New The truth is there is nothing new in the pages of Give Them Grace. In fact it simply reiterates a very, very old message: the gospel message. Surprisingly enough the gospel message is the new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that makes Give Them Grace such an important resource for parents (and ultimately for every other person who picks it up!). It is a sad fact that this book is desperately needed in the church today. It is a sad truth that this book was desperately needed in my life today. It is a glorious truth that the message within its pages is able to transform and elevate our parenting to heights only God can foresee. Parenting in Grace In this book, Elyse Fitzpatrick and daughter Jessica Thompson often refer to two different types of parents. The first is the parent who is overwhelmed by the burden and weight of parenthood and the effect of every one of their failings on their children's souls. The other parent is the parent who is somewhat confident in their parenting and their "methods" believing that if they simply do X, Y, and Z God will keep his end of the bargain and bless them with God-fearing offspring. Both of these parents need the gospel for themselves and both of them need the gospel for their parenting because both of them are relying on their own ability, rather than the grace of God for their children's salvation. This is where I began to awaken to my need for this book. I hadn't realized before how much I was relying on my own strength to parent my children. Without knowing it I had been assuming or at least hoping that my efforts would not go unnoticed by my Savior and that he would reward me for all my hard work... as though my hard work were worth anything in heavenly currency! It is a funny paradox, but my adherence to the Biblical guidelines for parenting and my personal testimony to my children had become unholy bargaining chips with the Ruler of the Universe. This is a message that all of us need to hear, not just parents: our works are worthless, it is Christ who saves, Christ who transforms, Christ who accomplishes. God has a plan for each of my children, he will use me in that plan yes, but nothing I do or don't do will thwart his plan. This call to yield to the grace of God in our children's lives is reminiscent of Paul's exhortation to the Corinthians when they were tempted to put too much stock in their spiritual leaders: "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building." (1 Corinthians 3:7-9 ESV) This is one of the key themes of the book, but as the title suggests raising our children in an atmosphere of gospel grace is the primary focus. An Atmosphere of Grace Elyse and Jessica begin, continue, and end with one premise throughout their book: our children (and ultimately us as well) do not need more law, we need more grace. They put forth the observation that most of what we call Christian parenting these days is in fact parenting under the law rather than under grace. The temptation to be law givers instead of grace givers is at the core of our natural idolatrous hearts: "...every human heart is always and ever drawn to law. In the same way that iron filings follow a magnet, our hearts chase after rules-not because we ever really obey them but because we think they make life manageable. Rules elevate us to the position of lawgiver; they help us avoid the humiliation of prostrating ourselves before a bloody, despicable cross. We love to try to approve of ourselves and control others by generating more and more rules. `Our desire to please God, combined with human bent to prove our acceptance by comparison with and the control of others, makes us factories of human legislation.'" (Give Them Grace) As Christians it is our goal to put Christ and his gospel at the center of every aspect of our lives and yet the thing Elyse and Jessica seem to want us to get more than anything is that we have missed it in our parenting. How can this be? This is what I think it boils down to: We have been taught that good Christian parents teach their children how to be obedient (reflecting our obedience of God) and then when they disobey (just as we disobey God) we discipline them (just as we are disciplined by God) and then, on our best days, we share the gospel story with them reminding them that if they believe in Jesus he paid the price for their sins and they will never again have to suffer for them. In a gospel saturated home Elyse and Jessica propose that this is not enough. All of this is true, but there is one important piece of the puzzle that is missing, you named it-grace. The temptation for children in this daily cycle of comparing themselves to the law is to see themselves as either good or bad children. The bad children, those who are always sinning, always being disciplined, are tempted to think that the gospel isn't for them, that they aren't good enough for the gospel or for God. The good children, on the other hand, those who find it easier to obey, are tempted to see themselves as good, earning the favor of God, and unknowingly without a need for a Savior. Both children live in perilous states of mind because they are not able to apply the gospel to their little hearts. One needs to see that the gospel is indeed for sinners and the other needs to see that each of us are sinners and are hopeless without the grace of God. In a family where God's grace is a living, breathing, reality (not just a piece of head knowledge) a parent would indeed call their child to obedience, after all the law is meant to show us our sin, but they would do so fully aware of their children's inability to obey. When their children fail, and of course they will, we are to remind them that it is because of their sinful nature that they failed and that this is exactly why Jesus had to die on the cross- to pay for our sin and to liberate us from the power of sin. We should not be shocked when our children sin, but instead should identify with them and their need for a Savior in those moments. Our lips must be bursting forth with praise for the power we have to overcome sin through Jesus Christ. What Jessica and Elyse are encouraging us to do is to take the focus off of our children's ability to obey and put it on Christ's power to obey for them and to help them to see this glorious truth as well. So where does discipline fit into this picture? This is an area I wish they had fleshed out a little more, though they did commit an entire chapter to it. Physical discipline is affirmed as Biblical and indeed necessary, but a very important point is made in this book: Though God does use the rod to drive foolishness from the heart of a child, the gospel is the only means by which your child will be saved. Foolishness can be driven out of a Muslim child's heart by the rod just as easily as foolishness in a Christian child's heart can. What makes our discipline life giving and Christ exalting is the message of God's grace that motivates and surrounds it. It is the grace of God that will transform our children's hearts, not spanking them. If we spank our children into submission, we may end up with very well behaved children who believe themselves to be good and without the need of a Savior. Though physical discipline is a useful and God ordained tool to train our children, it is not the tool that God uses to transform our children. That work must be left to the Holy Spirit and the grace of God. You may be thinking, of course I understand this! But the importance of this point is not the knowledge, but the application. It can be easy to think that we are doing well in our parenting as our children get more and more obedient, as we assume they are becoming more and more godly, when in reality they may simply be becoming greater hypocrites. "You are Such a Good Boy! ... or are you?" The implications of Gospel saturated parenting are so far reaching that it can be overwhelming to try to reorient yourself. Elyse and Jessica liken it to a scary amusement park ride where your greatest fear is your utter lack of control. Learning to distance ourselves and our children from a works based relationship with God is harder than you might think. One great example given in the book is the common expression "You are such a good boy!". Well is he really? Because the Bible says that no one is good, only God is good. In fact, even our good deeds are like filthy rags! Obviously we are not trying to tell our children that they are holy when we say such a thing, but the underlying message we are sending them is that they can be good by doing good things rather than trusting in the only Good One who did the good things for them! A more Biblical responce to your child's "good" behavior would be to say something along the lines of, "That was a very good thing you did Elliot, I am so thankful that God gave you the grace to do it!" This might seem like an unnessesary change, but it makes a world of difference in what you are teaching your child. In this second interaction your child is learning that what he did was indeed good, but that it was the power of God that allowed him to do it. This is the reason why I believe this book to be so important: because living a gospel driven life affects every aspect of our lives (including our speech). How important is it that we live our lives aware of our very real need for God's grace and the God who delights to shed it on us? How important is it that we teach our children how great their need is for God's grace and the abundance of grace available to them as well? There is no greater task that we can set ourselves to! This book is like a whirlwind of pure unadulterated gospel whipping up the sea of works-based parenting that has long saturated the Christian community. It is a glimpse into a way of parenting that is distinctly and honestly Christian. This is the atmosphere I want my children to grow up in. I want them to know that they are sinners, that I am a sinner, and that we have a great and mighty Savior who loved us so much that he lived a life of perfect obedience so that we too could obey, who died a horrific death so that we would never have to die, and who rose from the grave so that we too could rise with him for all of eternity! Thank you Elyse and Jessica for stirring up a renewed vision for what it means to be a Christian mommy! Jessalyn @[...]

This is at least the 8th time I’ve bought this book. I just bought it again because I was thinking how I, as always, needed the reminders of how and why to raise my kids under the gospel, not just moralistically, and couldn’t find it on my shelf because I’d given it away, yet again. An extremely important book, and must have for all Jesus-loving parents. I bought it without a recommendation simply because Elyse Fitzpatrick was an author. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that before, but after reading Idols of the Heart in college I was blown away by her ability to TRULY balance speaking grace and truth together, in a way that not many do. Worth reading four times over.

This book, "Give Them Grace" is a true gift from GOD! I cannot recommend it enough! I have bought 6 of them for friends at church. I have read the book and now bought the audio book so I can listen while I'm driving. I keep listening to the preface and chapter 1 over and over. I come from a law/rules background and the idea of grace is scary to me at times - to let go of control, trust GOD, and see that I'm just as disobedient as my children are in different ways. That we both need to run to JESUS in everything. These are things I have heard of and some of them I know, but most of the principles I have never applied to life. "Give Them Grace" has opened my eyes to the amazing, wonderful, extravagant and oftentimes overwhelming grace of GOD like never before! This book is not just for parents either. You can apply these principles in lots of relationships. A definite must-have for every christian. Praise our great GOD and Savior JESUS CHRIST for how HE uses HIS body to bless and encourage! When my wife told me about this book at first I was put off by 2 things: the subtitle "Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" was way too much for me and women authors are not usually deep enough to hold my attention. I hesitantly started to read it and was completely overtaken and immersed and learned so much about the Grace of GOD and what it looks like in life than any other book. Shawn Faulkner Massachusetts

Well, there are already so many great reviews out there for this book that I'll keep this short. I have read many, many good parenting books, and many good Christ-centered books as well....and for me, this one takes the cake. So much of my heart has been exposed to me during the reading of this book, and both my husband and I have had many discussions on how we've been "missing" the gospel in our parenting, and in our lives overall for so long. (My husband loves this book, too.) I feel like I am being awakened to an understanding of the gospel that I've never had before, and really able to see Christ and His work intersect with my everyday life like I haven't before. All glory to Jesus in that, and this is the means that He used. This will from now on be my recommended parenting book (and one for all other occasions, as well!), and one that I look forward to reading over & over again.

This is one of the best books I have read about bringing up children to have a good life in God. It so excellent that every parent should read it if they want to have well adjusted, happy, giving and God loving children. The answer for raising children is in this book, because by giving them Jesus they will know where their strength is and they will know they cannot overcome without His mercy and grace. They will trust Him and know Him in every part of their life. I wish had had this book when I was raising my children. I believe thing would have been different for them. You see no parent can make their children change, but God can help them change while feeling His love.

Whether you have little kids or older kids, this book is very biblical. I was forced to look my parenting in the face and admit that I cared more about having good little rule followers than children whose hearts were soft and for Jesus. Get this book, friends. Lets encourage one another to give them grace and point their eyes to Christ.

I just finished reading the book, and the ending made my heart fill up so much. The gospel always makes me weepy and energetic at the same time, and that's how I felt after I put the book down. It's all about His grace. It's all about the accomplished work of Jesus on the cross. Grace is what I need and what my kids need. Grace helps us, sustains us, guides us. I've been recommending this book to all the parents I know who have experienced His grace. I've been recommending it to my Sunday School staff, and I'm finding that the truths of this book have been changing the way I am as a parent and as a pastor. I highly recommend this book to anyone but especially to parents and to those who work with kids in the church. It will change the way you think, change the way you parent, and hopefully change you!

What a powerful and convicting book! I realized after reading it while going through counseling for myself that I was not living in God's grace and as a result not showing my precious daughters that same grace. If I don't show them grace and subsequently mercy and forgiveness, how on earth can I hope, of course allowing for the work of the Holy Spirit, that they will embrace a relationship with Jesus? Thank you for writing this book on the vital subject of grace.

I just finished 'Give Them Grace', having taken my time reading it over a few months, and I have a hunch it will be one of those books I come back to again and again. It is so simple: we are massively loved by a gracious Father who justifies us freely by his Son -- we are to love our children because Jesus loves us, and his grace is sufficient for us and them. I've read probably an average number of parenting books...not loads and loads...but this book was so refreshing in the way it refocused my vision of parenting. It really isn't about whether I do it well or not, the point is God's glory. I LOVE the chapter that talks about how the purpose of our lives as believers, including as parents, is for God to be glorified however he chooses...this might mean compliant, obedient children but it might also mean lots of heartache, rebellion and weakness. It really is all about God's glory. I think it is such a timely word for a culture that is obsessed by personal success and happiness. The wonderful, liberating gospel message is so much better than that: we have the perfect obedience and faithfulness of Jesus as our record thanks to union with Christ. This is the only foundation from which we can parent with joy and freedom -- we're not trying to prove ourselves or control our kids, but simply resting in grace and, as the authors say, dazzling our beloved children with that grace. I also loved that it highlights our responsibility in mission, when it's easy for Christian parents to think that protecting our kids is a good reason to be isolated. In my opinion, the last two chapters are the best. But don't skip to them, because without the earlier chapters they wouldn't have nearly as much punch. I'm so thankful for God using these two ladies to shed some light on parenting. Lo and behold, it isn't as complicated as we might think, and the point isn't 'success' but merely enjoying Jesus' amazing grace (that is, Jesus himself) and delighting to share his great love with our kids. Reading this book was like one big sigh of relief for a mom who really wants to get it right. Read it yourself to find out why!

I loved that this was NOT another "how to" book. There were no check lists, just a lot of encouragement to think about how we can show our kids how Jesus pours His grace out on us, and how we can help guide our children into a place of reverence and delight as we experience the forgiveness He that extends to us all. I particularly loved how they gave ideas for conversations with your kids. While I didn't agree completely with the ways those conversations took place in the book, the examples made it really easy to understand the points they were getting at, which made it easier to envision and put into practice those concepts in ways that fit our family.

I am going to start this review out a little differently than most. I am going to admit that I was initially reluctant to read this book. I mean, I was both excited and suspicious of it all at once if you can imagine that. Things were being said like, "It is the best parenting book ever written!" and "This book is the parenting book that all others will be compared to!". In my mind I couldn't help but think, this is some pretty high praise! It seemed as though people were claiming that the pages of Give Them Grace held some new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that hadn't been tapped before. Old but New The truth is there is nothing new in the pages of Give Them Grace. In fact it simply reiterates a very, very old message: the gospel message. Surprisingly enough the gospel message is the new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that makes Give Them Grace such an important resource for parents (and ultimately for every other person who picks it up!). It is a sad fact that this book is desperately needed in the church today. It is a sad truth that this book was desperately needed in my life today. It is a glorious truth that the message within its pages is able to transform and elevate our parenting to heights only God can foresee. Parenting in Grace In this book, Elyse Fitzpatrick and daughter Jessica Thompson often refer to two different types of parents. The first is the parent who is overwhelmed by the burden and weight of parenthood and the effect of every one of their failings on their children's souls. The other parent is the parent who is somewhat confident in their parenting and their "methods" believing that if they simply do X, Y, and Z God will keep his end of the bargain and bless them with God-fearing offspring. Both of these parents need the gospel for themselves and both of them need the gospel for their parenting because both of them are relying on their own ability, rather than the grace of God for their children's salvation. This is where I began to awaken to my need for this book. I hadn't realized before how much I was relying on my own strength to parent my children. Without knowing it I had been assuming or at least hoping that my efforts would not go unnoticed by my Savior and that he would reward me for all my hard work... as though my hard work were worth anything in heavenly currency! It is a funny paradox, but my adherence to the Biblical guidelines for parenting and my personal testimony to my children had become unholy bargaining chips with the Ruler of the Universe. This is a message that all of us need to hear, not just parents: our works are worthless, it is Christ who saves, Christ who transforms, Christ who accomplishes. God has a plan for each of my children, he will use me in that plan yes, but nothing I do or don't do will thwart his plan. This call to yield to the grace of God in our children's lives is reminiscent of Paul's exhortation to the Corinthians when they were tempted to put too much stock in their spiritual leaders: "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building." (1 Corinthians 3:7-9 ESV) This is one of the key themes of the book, but as the title suggests raising our children in an atmosphere of gospel grace is the primary focus. An Atmosphere of Grace Elyse and Jessica begin, continue, and end with one premise throughout their book: our children (and ultimately us as well) do not need more law, we need more grace. They put forth the observation that most of what we call Christian parenting these days is in fact parenting under the law rather than under grace. The temptation to be law givers instead of grace givers is at the core of our natural idolatrous hearts: "...every human heart is always and ever drawn to law. In the same way that iron filings follow a magnet, our hearts chase after rules-not because we ever really obey them but because we think they make life manageable. Rules elevate us to the position of lawgiver; they help us avoid the humiliation of prostrating ourselves before a bloody, despicable cross. We love to try to approve of ourselves and control others by generating more and more rules. `Our desire to please God, combined with human bent to prove our acceptance by comparison with and the control of others, makes us factories of human legislation.'" (Give Them Grace) As Christians it is our goal to put Christ and his gospel at the center of every aspect of our lives and yet the thing Elyse and Jessica seem to want us to get more than anything is that we have missed it in our parenting. How can this be? This is what I think it boils down to: We have been taught that good Christian parents teach their children how to be obedient (reflecting our obedience of God) and then when they disobey (just as we disobey God) we discipline them (just as we are disciplined by God) and then, on our best days, we share the gospel story with them reminding them that if they believe in Jesus he paid the price for their sins and they will never again have to suffer for them. In a gospel saturated home Elyse and Jessica propose that this is not enough. All of this is true, but there is one important piece of the puzzle that is missing, you named it-grace. The temptation for children in this daily cycle of comparing themselves to the law is to see themselves as either good or bad children. The bad children, those who are always sinning, always being disciplined, are tempted to think that the gospel isn't for them, that they aren't good enough for the gospel or for God. The good children, on the other hand, those who find it easier to obey, are tempted to see themselves as good, earning the favor of God, and unknowingly without a need for a Savior. Both children live in perilous states of mind because they are not able to apply the gospel to their little hearts. One needs to see that the gospel is indeed for sinners and the other needs to see that each of us are sinners and are hopeless without the grace of God. In a family where God's grace is a living, breathing, reality (not just a piece of head knowledge) a parent would indeed call their child to obedience, after all the law is meant to show us our sin, but they would do so fully aware of their children's inability to obey. When their children fail, and of course they will, we are to remind them that it is because of their sinful nature that they failed and that this is exactly why Jesus had to die on the cross- to pay for our sin and to liberate us from the power of sin. We should not be shocked when our children sin, but instead should identify with them and their need for a Savior in those moments. Our lips must be bursting forth with praise for the power we have to overcome sin through Jesus Christ. What Jessica and Elyse are encouraging us to do is to take the focus off of our children's ability to obey and put it on Christ's power to obey for them and to help them to see this glorious truth as well. So where does discipline fit into this picture? This is an area I wish they had fleshed out a little more, though they did commit an entire chapter to it. Physical discipline is affirmed as Biblical and indeed necessary, but a very important point is made in this book: Though God does use the rod to drive foolishness from the heart of a child, the gospel is the only means by which your child will be saved. Foolishness can be driven out of a Muslim child's heart by the rod just as easily as foolishness in a Christian child's heart can. What makes our discipline life giving and Christ exalting is the message of God's grace that motivates and surrounds it. It is the grace of God that will transform our children's hearts, not spanking them. If we spank our children into submission, we may end up with very well behaved children who believe themselves to be good and without the need of a Savior. Though physical discipline is a useful and God ordained tool to train our children, it is not the tool that God uses to transform our children. That work must be left to the Holy Spirit and the grace of God. You may be thinking, of course I understand this! But the importance of this point is not the knowledge, but the application. It can be easy to think that we are doing well in our parenting as our children get more and more obedient, as we assume they are becoming more and more godly, when in reality they may simply be becoming greater hypocrites. "You are Such a Good Boy! ... or are you?" The implications of Gospel saturated parenting are so far reaching that it can be overwhelming to try to reorient yourself. Elyse and Jessica liken it to a scary amusement park ride where your greatest fear is your utter lack of control. Learning to distance ourselves and our children from a works based relationship with God is harder than you might think. One great example given in the book is the common expression "You are such a good boy!". Well is he really? Because the Bible says that no one is good, only God is good. In fact, even our good deeds are like filthy rags! Obviously we are not trying to tell our children that they are holy when we say such a thing, but the underlying message we are sending them is that they can be good by doing good things rather than trusting in the only Good One who did the good things for them! A more Biblical responce to your child's "good" behavior would be to say something along the lines of, "That was a very good thing you did Elliot, I am so thankful that God gave you the grace to do it!" This might seem like an unnessesary change, but it makes a world of difference in what you are teaching your child. In this second interaction your child is learning that what he did was indeed good, but that it was the power of God that allowed him to do it. This is the reason why I believe this book to be so important: because living a gospel driven life affects every aspect of our lives (including our speech). How important is it that we live our lives aware of our very real need for God's grace and the God who delights to shed it on us? How important is it that we teach our children how great their need is for God's grace and the abundance of grace available to them as well? There is no greater task that we can set ourselves to! This book is like a whirlwind of pure unadulterated gospel whipping up the sea of works-based parenting that has long saturated the Christian community. It is a glimpse into a way of parenting that is distinctly and honestly Christian. This is the atmosphere I want my children to grow up in. I want them to know that they are sinners, that I am a sinner, and that we have a great and mighty Savior who loved us so much that he lived a life of perfect obedience so that we too could obey, who died a horrific death so that we would never have to die, and who rose from the grave so that we too could rise with him for all of eternity! Thank you Elyse and Jessica for stirring up a renewed vision for what it means to be a Christian mommy! Jessalyn @[...]

being a parent in this day and age is hard. I've been struggling, to be honest. I feel like i've done everything right but keep falling short. a woman from church recommended this book and it's absolutely amazing. i have highlighted, circled, and underlined so much through the book. it's been a lifesaver.

This book is life changing. It challenges me daily and causes me to really re-evaluate how I parent. There are things in this book that have rocked me to my core (and I'm not even half way through yet!). I suggest it to ALL my friends, and I am so grateful that someone suggested it to me. I am constantly highlighting in the book and when something especially powerful impacts me, I write it with dry erase marker on my mirror so I can think about it everyday for a few weeks. This is truly a life changing book!

What a beautifully refreshing, biblical perspective on how to “Dazzle your kids with the Love of Christ” without letting them walk all over you! I’ve recommended this book over and over! It’s been such a blessing to me!

I've not only recommended this book -- I've bought a number of copies to give to friends. This book not only puts into words all those lessons and observations from the great parents I've observed over the past 20 years and wanted to imitate but also frames the parenting issues in all of the great lessons and theology that I've been learning over the same 20 years. I hope I have the discipline to re-read this book periodically, and I hope that my friends do the same so that they can remind me of what I forget.

My husband read it and it sounds very helpful in their ideas but difficult to follow that practice if you were not raised that way. It has very helpful suggestions to be sure. It sounds as if there are pearls of wisdom for believers in Christ and people that believe otherwise. The book is written by Christians for Christians though so if you are not attempting to follow Christ this could be a frustrating read for you. It does have great advice for rearing children though - grace and love is what it is about.

This is the book I wish had been published twenty years ago. I've made plenty of mistakes as a mother, and I know I'll make plenty more. Yet each year the Lord seems to help me see more clearly my need for the grace of the Gospel in my life and in my parenting. I've discussed with friends, with my pastor, at church potlucks, "What does it look like to reflect the Gospel in our parenting relationships?" Increasingly these discussion of the Gospel and grace in parenting are taking place among moms in playgroups, in churches, on blogs. But very few books have been published that really address this question in a fundamental way; very few books to pass along to friends and to say, "Hey, this really encouraged me to look to the grace of the Gospel as a mom." Enter Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica. (What a perk, writing as a team! One with the wisdom of experience, one with the fresh "this is what it feels like in the trenches" perspective.) Key points that I really like about this book: * Give them Grace differentiates between moralism and the Gospel: "Mormons, Muslims, and moralistic atheists all share the belief that law can perfect us, but Christians don't. Christians know that the law can't save us; what we need is a Savior." * It warns against formula parenting: "Giving grace to our children is not another formula that guarantees their salvation or obedience. Grace-parenting is not another law for you to master to perfect your parenting or your children." * It encourages going back to the what Christ has done (and often quotes one of my favorite books,

This is unlike any parenting book I have ever read. Refreshing instead of guilt-inducing, and definitely acknowledges the sovereignty of God in saving anyone, including our kids. For too long I have felt that demanding perfect obedience, especially from an unregenerate child, especially when I do not obey God perfectly or even 10% of the time, and I have the Holy Spirit living in me, is unreasonable at best and frustrating at worst. It doesn't mean that the book does not advocate discipline, but it has changed the way I teach, show grace and connections to God's grace, discipline and pray for my kids.I have been blessed by it, and I hope my kids are too as I apply it. I will say one thing, however, about the sample conversations given-I am not sure that making every conversation a loaded-with-the-cross teaching moment will not end up at times exasperating the kids and possibiy making them tired of the gospel or lose sight of the weightiness of the cross (vs. losing a baseball game). I think, and I believe the authors would agree, you have to make it fit your style and mine would definitely more natural/less lecture-based at each discipline time. I would also hope to show the gospel and the love of Christ throughout our lives together, not just talk about it when they are "in trouble." But I still think it deserves 5 stars, because these are sample conversations, not a blueprint or script.

This book does a wonderful job of communicating the heart of Biblical parenting. While many of us who grew up in Christian homes were raised under "the law," grace was often missing. Not that our parents weren't forgiving and compassionate, but often the link between the gospel and personal righteousness was missing. Namely, we weren't instructed that our goodness does not determine our standing with God - Christ's righteousness has done that for us! Also, the reality that it is only through the Spirit's power that we can "do better next time." I'm not going to sit and blame my own parents, though. These graces are missing from my own parenting as well. The authors do a good job reminding the reader of these graces and their biblical basis. Best news - the same Spirit power that can transform our children can transform our parenting! This book is a must read for all parents seeking to raise their children in a biblical fashion.

Ditch all the other parenting books. This is all you need. Because it's just about God's Word, the only book necessary to parent our kids. It's so simple, yet so profound and so needed - to raise our kids in a clear understanding of the gospel and their need for a Savior. Elyse shows you how you can bring the gospel into every situation in life. My favorite non-fiction book bar none.

I was very encouraged as a mom by the good news for me as a parent, but I found the practical segments a little silly. I think ever once and a while if a specific sin crops up, having one of elyse's recommended talks would be good, but my Seven year old is not able to focus as I blab on for 15 minutes. I tried having as obedience discussion with him just this evening; he went outside to play and ignored us when we told him not to. I sat him down to talk, opened my mouth and it was like talking to a pent up squirrel. He was flopping all over the couch and making buzzing sounds with his lips 🤷♀️

I lead a weekly Small Group for "new" moms. Most women in the group have children from newborns all the way up to age 6. We all want to be better moms, but what's more is that we deeply desire to instill our children with a deep understanding and desire for God's love. We are only a few weeks in, but I think this book is providing us with valuable insight into how to complete that journey.

What a breath of fresh air in the world of parenting books! The main premise of this book is that we should hold our children up to the law until they see that they can never hope to obey, and then show them the grace of God that saves them from sin. Only grace can drive us to true obedience. If it's true for us, it's true for our children. I recommend this book for everyone, whether you have children or not!

I just finished this book today. It’s one I’ll be thinking about for a while. This is the first grace-based parenting book I’ve read and it certainly has dazzled ME with the love of Jesus. Although I found some ideas to be overly ideal, impractical for me personally, or extreme (i.e. not saying “good boy” because none of us are truly good), I would still highly recommend reading Give Them Grace. It is redundant in the best way, telling over and over again what all Jesus accomplished. The main messages I got from the book are 1) Salvation is of the Lord. I can’t change my child’s heart; only God can, 2) The Gospel message can and should be told over and over again to my children, and 3) I should be mindful that a compliant, well-behaved, child may struggle with the sins of pride, self-righteousness, etc. She could do all the “right” things but actually be like a Pharisee and her heart could be far from God. This resonates with me because I was that child! I had no idea that my faith was based on a works-righteousness false theology until college. I’m amazed by the grace of God poured out for us through Jesus. This book is not a typical “do this to get this result” parenting book. It’s more a lesson in resting in the grace of God to do what you can’t and living in light of His grace, and teaching your children to do the same.

i Highly Recommend it for you if you want to raise you children without the idolatry, moralism, and legalism in almost every Church out there today, regardless of what religion or faith you are in. I can't read it without crying and asking God to forgive me for my shortcomings. But, as Mia Angelo said "When you know better, you do better." And that's what this book is about. Making sure I do and say and do better for my kids. You should read it and then give it away to people who say they got this parenting this no, they don't! They just think they do!

I’m only in the first chapter and loving this read so far. I had to put it down to mill over it and soak it up for a bit, looking forward to reading the rest!

This is a must-read book because it is life changing! It's one of my all time favorite books. This book is based on the gospel, and even though the topic is parenting, because of it's gospel-based message, it will help you in all areas of your christian life. I constantly found myself blown away every time I read it.

As a Christian parent our goal is to help our children to understand the grace and mercy and love of God. This book really gets down to the nuts and bolts of how to make the gospel central to all we do with our kids without being preachy all the time. It was a great encouragement and help to me.

This is an amazing book. Very practical Biblical wisdom taken from God's word and given to us from Elyse and her daughter. It is good for all ages of parenting. Every book of Elyse F. Is worth reading and gives you hope and direction from God's Word to apply to daily living. Enjoy!

The author connected many dots in my mind about the true purpose of Christian parenting. There are many "scripts" of how to walk through biblical discipline with your children, making this book very practical. I have already recommended this book to a number of friends.

Finally. The burden of mama-guilt has been lifted from my shoulders. After finding myself completely discouraged and weighed down by the belief that every little failure I made in my parenting was going to spiritually damage my children and restrict their ability to see the truth of God's Word, Ms. Fitzpatrick and Ms. Thompson have reminded me that God alone is capable of saving their souls. He has given my children to me so that I can love them, discipline them, and teach them about Jesus, but their destiny is not mine to order, but rather rests in the hands of One who loves them even more than I do and is mighty to save them! This book is not a how-to on parenting, it's a reminder of the truth and a challenge to love the Gospel and radiate it to our children, not weighing them down with the burden of law that no one is able to carry but Christ. It's a challenge to parent from the heart, to turn our children to the One who alone can change their hearts. I cannot stop recommending this book to every parent I talk to. It has changed my life!

This book reminded me once again what God's grace toward us is and that helps to look at parenting from a different angle. I no longer feel doomed! I want to teach my children to be good not because that will save them, but because God is good to us first and we are forever grateful to Him for that! Without Him we are not capable of producing anything good...It is His righteousness bestowed on us! If we believe in His sacrifice for us we can be assured that God already see's us as His perfect children and that brings true joy and happiness! Every Christian parent should read this book!!!!

I very much liked this book. However, I found myself struggling through it because the information is so heavy. I didn't agree with every word but i am so thankful for the tangible advice on how to offer my kids the gospel clearly and often.

I think this book is a must read for all parents. It has opened my eyes to the grace of God in new ways I've never seen. If you find yourself frustrated with your parenting styles or the ways your kids are not responding to you, pick up this book. It will change the way you view parenting forever.

So many of the questions I have are answered right here in this book on true Christian parenting. Thank you, Elyse and Jessica for compiling all this timeless wisdom!

I like this Author. We tend to give so many rules to our children forgetting how God has been gracious to us. This book was very helpful in that it provides a very biblical way of raising our children. I specially recommend it to young mothers.

Grace is the difference between Christian and moral parenting.

Goes into more detail about how to actually give grace to people in our lives, I appreciated that. Not a laundry list of to-do's: quite the contrary! Wish I had read this book earlier in my life. It would have helped me see my own legalistic roots and what I could do differently with my children to break that cycle and point them to the Grace Giver. Great book!

Great parenting book. If you are going to read only two parenting books I recommend this and Shepparding your Child's Heart. They were the most transformative in my parenting. Give them Grace is a little wordy but the message overall is important and Biblical.

great book-- After having 5 children I wish that I had read this when my kids were little, and will pass it on to those with small children to start out right.

BEST parenting book I've ever read (and I've read some really good ones) Realistic advice and wise Godly counsel.

Great insight . Haven't finished the book but it's a must read for everyone to make sure you not raising your children by religion standards but Jesus's standards

This book is life changing~ I am telling all my friends about it. I appreciate so much that the author gives exact examples of what we probably say to our children and a way to talk to them that is more grace-filled . It has stretched me as a Mom and encouraged me to be more open with my daughter about my sins... God bless these wonderful authors!!

I have only gotten 30 pages in so far but even in that short time it has been revolutionary. So simple, but yet life changing. One of the best parenting books I have ever read.

This book was nothing short of amazing! It has completely changed my husband and my understanding and approach to grace in our own lives and in the lives of our children. This is a must read for everyone; parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, singles.

My husband and I LOVE this book, but it "steps on our toes" in every chapter. Moral parenting vs. gospel based Christian parenting.....hard to wrap your head around, but amazing!! A definite must read for parents of kids at home.

Full of encouragement and wisdom! It's a great reminder and offers new insight to parenting.

This book had completely different perspective to the typical parenting book. Whereas the typical book often times becomes a laundry lists of things that parents must do. This book approaches parenting in a different manner. The approach and perspective are definitely needed and this book would be valuable addition to any home.

I heard the authors of this book on a radio program and decided to buy it for my daughter, who is raising young children.

a must read and re-read!

Great advice concerning how God desires us to treat our children and speak the gospel to them in every moment. I definitely need more of this in my life. Sometimes, when your not sure what to say to your chcildren you react (often negatively) insteading of having a plan and acting within that plan. I love the practical tools and especially the verbiage you can actually use with your children. Sometimes books just tell you the generality of what Gods word says, but this book really makes the speaking the gospel message clear. I love it.

love book

Good book. Good perspective

Give Them Grace is a great parental guide reminding us that we are under God's grace. The questions at the end of each chapter help the reader to recall and reflect on what was read, making it immediately useful. A group of us are reading this book this summer and are discussing the questions even further which make it even more relevant to our lives.

Excellent book for Christian parents looking to implement the gospel into their parenting. Lots of scripture to back up their writing.

Great book!

I don't have kids of my own, but it helps me deal with my nieces and nephews , and my friends with their own kids. I love that we can extend grace towards our kids just like Christ extends grace towards us daily. Amazing read, every parent need to read for their children's sake and for their own benefit to experience the love and grace of God over them as parents as well

I'm only through the first chapter and have learned soooo much!!!

Great book as a present for a new mom

Great product. Thank you.

Arrived on time and sold at a reasonable price. Satisfied.

I needed this book more than I realized.

Love this book!

My kids growing up to be "holier than thou" has always been a concern for me. This book is a good guide to not let that happen. Great book, written well with practical and philosophical advise on how to raise your kids in GRACE, not law. Grace produces gratitude and humility, law parenting produces pride, self righteousness and little pharisees.

This book will make you laugh, cry and understand better how to raise your kids. Highly recommend for any family seeking to learn patience.

Very good book when raising children! Highly recommended.

Excellent!

Good book!

pretty good！

Excellent book that gives such a balanced view of parenting with God's grace. One of my favorite of the parenting books I've read.

Good book!

Fast delivery! Exactly as described.

Full of scripture, this book encourages parents to show their children what the grace God gives us looks like in our homes and relationships. It is practical, persuasive, encouraging, and helpful in know HOW to do this. Great gift for new parents.

Beautifully written....learned more about Gods amazing Grace, and pointing my children toward Jesus, also to let go of my reputation as a parent!

AMAZING book on God's amazing grace. This has not only transformed my parenting, but more importantly my view of God and His grace. A must read!

Great biblical guidelines for teaching your children the Gospel in everything you do! Questions at the end of each chapter make this an easy book to go through with a group.

One of my favorite books out there.

Fit perfectly with the journey the Lord is currently walking me through: what does Grace really mean? Am a soon-to-be mom and my husband and I are reading through it together.

I really wanted to love this book. The first part of the had me hopeful, though wary. All in all, the theology/doctrine is firm and a new perspective on parenting from grace could produce a much needed change in our families and churches. But the application is completely out of touch, and developmentally inappropriate in many examples. The dialogue examples are verbose and unrealistic, very heavy use of the doctrine of total depravity, which would be enough to discourage even the most spirited child. I am always disappointed to see capable and intelligent authors completely overlook or dismiss the leaps and bounds made in recent years in developmental psychology, especially of small children. I don't understand how anyone could truly believe a 20-30min mini-sermon is going to produce heart-changing results in a preschooler. Maybe the examples are merely meant to inspire you with ideas rather than be taken literally, but I pity the kid whose parents go the latter route. The tone of superiority in the authors' language, especially in the questions for reflection at the end of each chapter, was just such a big put off. They have a lot to say about "crushing a proud child's heart", and hardly anything helpful to say on how to model Christ-like behavior, proactive parenting, and love and grace in ACTION. There is a thick air of pride in between the lines of this book. Once I got to the section on discipline, and the very disappointing page on spanking, I put it down. Lazy, predictable treatment on the issue of corporal punishment; typical, cliche, cut and paste defense of the rod verses in the book of Proverbs (Hebrew wisdom literature, full of allegory and metaphor, written to and about adolescent males). I am not completely anti-spanking, but I don't do it, for very good reasons, and the issue certainly deserves a more intelligent and sensitive treatment than the one given here. And what about the alternatives? What about mercy? What about all the "one another" commands of scripture? We just can't preach grace out of one side of our mouth, and defend strict punitive methods with the other. I lived under that kind of hypocrisy as a child. I won't live that out with mine. I may finish the last portion of the book for the hope of gleaning some small kernels of wisdom (and maybe I'll end up amending this with another star), but honestly not sure it's worth the time if you are a busy homeschooling mother like me. After a string of very disappointing books on Christian parenting, I just have to say this: Pick up your Bible as often as you have time and be constant and consistent in prayer (alone, with your husband, with your children). Submit to Christ in all things, BE LIKE HIM! Strive to understand the particularities of your children, their personalities, their needs. Be proactive for goodness sake! Stop setting them up for failure with totally unreasonable and outdated expectations! And just let the Spirit lead you in doing what is best for them! Maybe that's a little too precious for some, but honestly your family will be far better off with that formula than with any other 5-star method packed in a pretty book with a catchy tagline.

Purchased this read for finding techniques in handling tantrums by a four year old after it was recommended on my devotional app. After starting the book I could not finish the first chapter. The author expects you to speak in ridiculously lengthy scripture referenced paragraphs to your child in the midst of the ordeal. What child has the patience to listen, let alone comprehend something like that in the heat of the moment. I felt like this was completely unrealistic and a real let down when I was looking for something inspiring to help correct negative behaviors. I love the authors devotion and passion for Christ, but this is just not something that I can work with.

Good book, challenging!

I've learned that when it comes to parenting books and good Christian gospel-oriented nonfiction books, I can trust Crossway books. I have yet to be disappointed by any parenting book I've read from them yet! I really liked this book. It is gospel-oriented and really hits a part of parenting that I know I am weak at most times. Grace. It's a word that many church people and religious people throw around, but may or may not really know what it means. I always want to, and pray to show more grace, but in the moment I fail more often than I like. I was thankful for the encouragement that filled the pages. Not only that, but I loved that I was constantly being pointed to the Gospel. I did struggle a little bit with a few opinions in the book. I do have my children seek forgiveness, whether it's truly heartfelt or not. However, we do discuss it and my prayer is for a repentant heart. I understand their reasoning, but I'm not so certain that I believe the same thing. There were a few other of their opinions that I didn't really agree with, but overall I liked the book. I find that grace is one of those things that can be a bit difficult to balance. Discipline is still needed, obedience is still expected, but grace must be given. Their take on obeying the first time struck me, too. I disagreed a bit on that, as well. Amongst my disagreeing of certain things, I found this book to be encouraging and thought-provoking. __________ I received this hook free from Crossway in exchange for my honest opinion of this book.

I loved the overall message of this book. It wasn't just about how to give grace to our children. It was a book that spoke grace to my soul as a parent. I don't find that it gives very practical methods for raising kids, as say a John Rosamond book would. But I don't think that was the intent of the authors. Some of their examples of how to talk to kids were lengthy and verbose, to say the least...and the authors admitted as such. But it was a very good reminder to me that my ultimate goal in parenting is to point my children to Jesus. Always Jesus.

Best book on parenting I have read.

"Give Them Grace" does an excellent job illuminating the inescapable connection between how a parent understands the Gospel and how he or she in turn parents. The connection is explained, as the title suggests, with an emphasis on the author's conception of grace. Much can be gained from GTG's insights, practical illustrations, and encouragements. That said I have some disagreements. A basic premise of GTG is that children are "unbelievers", therefore evangelization of the child is the basic focus of the parents, not discipleship. I question this approach (Ps 22:9-10,Gal 1:15, 1 Cor 7:14). As for the parents, missing from GTG, is a stress on the importance of husband-wife unity in parenting. Intentional or not, GTG seems to be addressing a single parent. GTG also fails to stress a Kingdom focus, and tends to cast the Law of God in an unfavorable light, often confounding it with parent-made legislation. God's Law is generally portrayed as somehow antagonistic to grace, when in fact its only problem -- condemnation --is due to a deficiency in us, a deficiency remedied by our Lord's atonement and the indwelling Spirit. Instruction of our children in the Law of God is highly commended by both Christ (Matt 5:19) and the apostle Paul (2 Tim 3:16). It is also highly extolled in the Psalms (Psalm 1,19,119, etc.). Earning favor with God is not the aim of the Law, Christ-like moral beauty is. That said, "Give Them Grace" still accomplishes much in the way of parental instruction. Throughout GTG there is strong admonition for parents to "walk by faith, not by sight", placing full confidence in the goodness and greatness of God. My disagreements are not meant to discourage its reading. In fact, I highly recommend GTG, as it was highly recommended to me. I was challenged and blessed by its contents.

This book has been revolutionary for me! I HIGHLY recommend it!!

Great book!

This book has helped so much to see how much I depended on my myself and my works as a parent and how much I forgot about God's grace. This is like a breath of fresh air and insight into the love of Christ. So many times we forget that His mercy and grace is renewed each day and that we are weak ones who often forget that God saves and not us. I really like the layout of this book. It was real outlined well. The consistent reference to scripture just refreshed me each time I was able to read. I can't say anything bad about it. I'm overwhelmed and filled to the brim with love for my Savior after reading this. I hope that I'll continue to reread this and recommend it to others which I already have. New mothers especially need to enjoy this and older moms will take a lot of pleasure in this treasure as well.

Just got this book and I am so excited to read it!

Have kids or work with kids? Read this book!

It took me many months to finish this book. I bought it the first month I found out I was pregnant and I'm finishing it within two weeks of my due date. Even still, the book has impressed on me two things that I find most helpful. 1. The grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ is enough for my daily life as well as my child. 2. God can save my children not because of my parenting, but despite it. There is much grace in parenting and freedom because of it. I thank Elyse and Jessica for their concise and beautiful writings.

This book was so terrible to me that I returned it. It's very rare for me to not finish a book, and I'm not sure I've EVER returned one. Even if I don't love everything, I try and gleam the good stuff that's said. But this good stuff was riddled with a bunch of legalistic and unrealistic things right next to it. Like simple stuff like praising a child is bad because it will make them preformanced based and not from the heart and not aware of their sinful nature? I wish I could quote it (don't have it anymore honestly) but there was a start of good ideas with the wrong twists on them. A lot of what was said to say to your child were these really long overdrawn monologue s as well that were very unrealistic and would wear out me, let alone my child.

A wonderfully freeing look at our role as parents in the light of the gospel. The authors superbly take apart our motivations and heart struggles as parents to ensure that we raise perfect children and instead show how God's grace should be at the heart of our lives. This heart and perspective change frees us as parents from the responsibility to produce and mold our children into little reflections of our pride and ego. Instead, as parents we are able to lovingly cherish our children as fellow sinners and bring about the reflection of Christ's love for us into our interactions with our children. It is an encouraging read that does not make false guarantees about methods and formulas. It is not a book that sets out to condemn or perfect us but instead to allow the gospel of grace to minister to us as parents as we struggle through the day to day challenges of parenting. An excellent read. And a parenting book that does not seek to add to the burdens of parents with rules and checklists but to draw us back to the original source for guidance in all things, the Bible.

I found this book on BSF's summer 2012 recommended reading list and I am so glad that I did! I'm a homeschooling mom of 3, and I'm only about half way through the book, as I've been reading it on my kindle app while nursing. This book has me excited about the Gospel afresh. The best review I can offer is a comment my 7 yr old made when I was about 25% through the book, "Mommy you've been different this month...Whenever we do something wrong you've been telling us a lot more about God." How is that for fruit?! Reading this book has been like God leading me beside His quiet waters. I would love to read this book with a small group. It's so wonderful, I think anyone would benefit from it, not only parents.

I found this book to be very thought provoking. It gave me some new insight into what I'm thinking about my children and why they act the way they do. My only problem with the book is that a 4 year old would not listen to such long winded explainations about their behavior. Make it short and simple (even my 8 year old would tune me out after about 5 sentences). Gave me some great ideas and put it back into perspective that all we do should be centered on what God did for us.

This book really changed the way I thought about parenting. I have read other Christian parenting materials and felt like I wasn't measuring up when my children wouldn't listen to me right away, the first time, and with a good attitude. In this book, I learned about the importance of showing God's grace and presenting the gospel in my parenting. I think I've seen one other book about grace-based parenting but this was totally new to me. It really changed my thinking in terms of just trying to raise good kids who listen versus kids who truly understand the concept of grace. I think for this book to be helpful, the parent really needs to understand God's grace in his/her life first before he/she can teach it to their children. Having said that, one difficulty I had with this book was in practical application. The authors give examples but they seemed geared towards older children rather than younger children. I know that some readers may think the book isn't worth it if you can't apply it practically. For me, I think that the book is not meant to be a cookie cutter type of parenting book (e.g., "if you do A, then B will happen") but rather it created a paradigm shift in my thinking. It's not about creating moralistic, trophy children but children who understand what Jesus did for them and how they can always start anew when they fall short.

This book speaks the gospel to parents and encourages us to show the gospel to our children through humble faith, not a checklist of law. It was a great encouragement to me, reminding me that it isn't me but God who writes my children's stories (and mine) and giving examples of how to live in grace together with my kids. This book is not guilt-inducing, like many parenting books, but rather freeing and life-giving.

Often Christian books of advise have a great first chapter and a lot of fluff to fill out the book. I found this book ran opposite. The first half was a bit heavy-handed and "preachy", but the second half had some great insights and was a much more natural tone of writing. I actually ended thinking that I would recommend the book to several of my friends (which was not my opinion for the first four chapters).

One of the best books I have read in a long time. My kids are not the only ones that need the grace that Jesus has to offer - I do too. And this book was a wonderful and timely reminder of that. What makes how I (should) parent different from the other moral people of the world - only the GRACE that has been given to me by Jesus and that I can then pass onto my children.

Many people say that politics and religion are the two most sensitive subjects to discuss. I would argue that one's parenting style and children are in fact the two most polarizing topics; just check some of the other reviews or the reviews of any parenting books for proof. That said, I have found Give Them Grace to be an immensely rewarding, revealing and though provoking read in a genre that has been inundated with useless noise. This books clocks in at the standard two hundred pages or so with twenty more pages of indexes (which I have never used in a book like this). One of the redeeming attributes of this book is that all 200 hundred pages are filled with usable, fresh content. It seems to me that many publisher's want to take, what is at best, an essay or manifesto and generate two hundred pages of content which leave the book sounding much like a broken record as it repeats itself over and over again. This, however, is not true of Give Them Grace. Additionally, this book is very readable with stories and little case studies throughout that help the pages to flow. So, if you are not an avid reader have no fear of this book; you CAN get through it. The last thing that I really liked are the questions at the end of each chapter. Admittedly I am a sucker for questions but these seemed to be very genuine and thought provoking, not an after thought thrown in by the publisher/editor. Other reviewers have more than thoroughly covered the content here so I will only point out a couple of the big ideas that I picked up 1)Avoid Moralism at all costs in the raising of your kids -- Moralism is not the goal. 2)Try to find the work that Christ is already working in your child and facilitate that as best you can. In my mind this and Ted Tripp's book

Elyse and her daughter are onto something that could change the face of Christianity as we experience it. The concept of "living the gospel" is huge. Recognizing that it is completely hypocritical to teach and expect our children to be good when we as adults are hardly there resonates deeply. Admitting that being loving or generous (as compared with hateful and selfish) is only because of God at work in me is rather sobering. So then, how different is my parenting when I help my kids see that their kindness to a sibling is only because of Jesus at work in them and not their inherent goodness. That and realizing that just because my kids go to church and pray, it doesn't mean they are saved. They just know how to follow the social norms of our home. If you want your faith and parenting to be rocked, get this book! If you prefer to live like you're in control of your kids and their choices, you better pass on this one.

A beautifully written book that not only provides fabulous parenting advice, but also shows areas in your own personal life to improve. It's changed so many areas in our lives for the better. I plan to read this again to see what I can pull out the second time around. I highly recommend.

What a refreshing and common sense approach to raising children to be strong in their faith! Instead of rules, give them grace. It sounds soft, but it is really a better way to disciple our children. Yes, there will be some rules. But when we respond to infractions with grace and gospel, the results are far better than when we respond with punishment alone. There are still consequences, but they are not delivered in shame or anger. It would also be effective in educational settings, church settings and just about any job where people are involved.

Life and heart changing. I wish every parent could read this book. It would change so much with the parent stigma. Gods grace is truly amazing and mind blowing. I am so thankful for this book. It has openened my eyes to so much about being a parent and bringing the gospel onto my parenting. Read each chapter and sulk on it. You'd be amazed what is revealed to you.

Very good book. Parenting is one area where we are all really prone to fall into the "it's all about the rules" mentality and this book is one resource that can help us get beyond that (and understand the proper place for rules and boundaries). I think the most helpful chapter, though, might be the one about understanding how God's grace applies to us a parents. The practical application might be a bit of a weakness. Often what is given as a example of what to say to your child in certain situations comes of as wordy. The content is great, but the practicality in the middle of a difficult situation seems limited. The concepts at the root, however, are solid. By coincidence, I was also watching Paul Tripp's DVD series "Getting to the Heart of Parenting" as I read this book. I would highly recommend watching that series in conjunction with this book because Tripp's practical application of the same concepts is very, very helpful.

Our pastor is using this book in our Sunday School. Though my children are grown and it's a bit late for me, you can enjoy the fruits of this work. Really it's never too late to apply these principles (grandchildren, nieces, nephews). Because it is so gospel-centric it addresses the heart of issues and shuns outward compliance alone (look right, smell right!). Buy this book. You won't be disappointed.

Been waiting to read this for years and had such high hopes. Unfortunately, I was so disappointed from the get go. I would strongly caution anyone who reads this book to prayerfully consider how to implement this attitude into their parenting approach. Nothing the authors have shared so far reflect anything but a very stern, hard nosed, generally over complicated and dare I say aggressive approach to dealing with children. I bristled at the idea that this is how they represent Christian parents and don’t see any of myself in these pages. Will unfortunately be disposing of this…don’t even want to donate it to be found by another.

Every time I read it, I look forward to the next time. It is deep, thought provoking and even though I don't have any children at home, It is helpful to understand the depth of grace that is coming from the Father to us. I wish I had this book when my children were young.

Give Them Grace is an essential book for Christian parents. Whether you're having your first or already have a brood, this book will prepare you and inspire you towards grace-living and gracious parenting.

What a great message. I cannot say enough good things about this book. It has changed how I look at things in so many ways. Not only has it given me perspective on parenting but in my life in general. I recommend this to all Christian parents. Love it

This is a great book , especially reading it while your children are still young. I have older children when I read this and I followed up with Paul Miller's, A Praying Life, that gave me the tools to implement the grace talked about in this book.

Never have I read a book that encourages me in my faith and shows me the grace of God as it applies to me and my children as this does. The personal examples are genuine and the situations described are life as it is. Grasping God's grace and living our lives in light of the gospel is what gives followers of Christ hope and changed lives! Thanks be to God.

I'm loving this book. My thinking on how to teach my kids about Jesus, His Grace, and mercy has really changed... and my disciplining my kids is changing too. I had never really known how to teach anyone about the gospel or ways to fall in love with Jesus. I have really learned too much to describe here. The Holy Spirit really has worked/ is working on my heart through his book. Thank you Lord for the authors and publishers of this book. Besides the Bible, it is the best book I have read in a long time. May God continue to shower his grace, mercy, and love to all our families. :)

This book was very helpful in showing the beauty of God's grace and applying it to parenting and living in life and relationships. Anothe complimentary book to this is Extravagant Grace. We were reading both simultaneously and found the two excellent resources.

This is a great book about giving grace to your children! The authors have done a wonderful job of giving real-life examples of how to handle situations with your children with grace instead of reacting in other, more damaging ways.

I love Elyse Fitzpatrick and the premise of graced-filled parenting she presents has really impacted the way I parent and provoked a lot of reflection. I'd give the book 5 stars but for Elyse's almost comically un-doable examples of teaching moments, long theological lectures which just wouldn't fly with my boys in the heat of the moment.

Give Them Grace displays the need to not take sin lightly and to realize the grace God has lavished on all who rebel against King Jesus. Highly recommend this book for all.

Loved this book. Parenting a very difficult child has made me feel more failure than "success". This book has really helped to bring me more freedom in my parenting... And has helped take the pressure off of "how my son turns out." The Lord is and will work in my child's heart--no matter what it looks like or how his story turns out. I highly recommend this book.

I have just listened to the first two chapters so far but this is fantastic. I have 5 kids at home and this is very God certered and totally on target. every parent should read this book.

This book was terrible, in my opinion. Not at all how I understand Biblical grace. A very negative style of parenting is recommended with very little praise. For true, empowering parenting resources from a grace perspective I recommend Kimmels Grace Based Parenting, and Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk.

Awesome book, highly recommend!! I wrote my review in the title by accident and didn't want to start over. Praying

I am guilty of needing the rules and bullet points to follow. And so many points in this book show me how to really turn to grace and the Fathers' s love. A really different concept and yet seriously duh moments. It just makes so much sense. Totally Biblical.

I have bought about 10 copies of this book; went over 100 miles to hear these ladies speak......Also bought a couple other books written by them.....I am sharing with young parents and believe it is extremely helpful if you were raised in a legalist church.....Discipline but with love and grace and not just rules..

My husband and I read this together and loved discussing it. Thank God for his grace. We have recommended this book to several of our friends.

I found some of the author's ideas to be good ones but I felt it wasn't worth the effort to ferrot them out. The sample dialogues (monologue would be a better word for them) she gives would have my kid's eyes glazed over before I was half-way through the long recommended lecture and I believe my kids have better attention spans than most.

Have the book and the CD because its that good. I need to hear it all the time.

This is the type of book I need to always keep in front of me as I am parenting. It is a very present help in time of need.

I wish I had this book when my children were toddlers. The concepts taught by Elyse are completely counter-intuitive to the way I think. I was saved by Grace but I was trying to bring my children up as if they could please God(and me) by keeping the Law. It is not too late - I already have been able to make application of these principles in my relationship with my teen age son.

Great book for the parent who is looking for a truss gospel insight on how to be the parent God has called you to be.

Love this book so much - please offer on audible!

Some good thoughts, but not sure of the practical nature of some of the examples. Certainly a good reminded, though, of focusing on grace in our child rearing.

Life changing book. Will read every year. Great perspective!

I have been so very encouraged by this book! I savored every chapter and plan on turning around and reading it all again and again. Thank you for writing this book!!!

Great read for me who tends to be too hard on the kids

I knew that works could not save nor justify but did not allow that biblical fact apply to my parenting until now! Thank God for His AMAZING grace! I appreciate Elyse's frankness, especially her constant encouragement to rely upon the Scriptures and depend on Christ and His work on the Cross.

Great book that provides both biblical justification and practical application of gospel-centered parenting. We've found that we've quoted this book to each other multiple times. Also a great book to discuss in a group setting - that's exactly what we're doing.

Teaches us to apply the gospel of grace in our parenting endeavors - so very important. I wish I had read this sooner - it really touched my heart.

Grace upon Grace they need.

A very gospel centered humble approach to parenting. So necessary. Grace not works based parenting. Not a formula, just helping us understand grace.

Great!

This is the only book on parenting that you really need. It's saturated with scripture, written from a true gospel perspective and it was obviously put together by some amazingly humble people.

Wonderfully gospel centered way of thinking through what it means to be a parent.

To me, this is a fantastic book that really shows how to show God's grace in raising our children. When we see God's grace in our lives, we can pass it on to our children.

Excellent!

So thankful to be reminded that I an not in charge, God is! I can't do anything to make my kids love God. All I can do is love God and let Him love my kids through me.

This was an excellent book for my teaching staff to read and discuss in a small group format. I highly recommend it not only for parents, but also for those whose ministry is to work with children.

Great book and will really challenge your thoughts and reasoning in regards to biblical parenting.

I gave it 4 stars because I haven't finished reading it. What I have read I would give 5 stars.

This book has some great information on how and why to create a lifestyle based on God's grace. I like how she uses Scripture from both the Old and New Testament. While her underlining principles are very good I find her example on how to respond to children a little farfetched and a bit unrealistic. When a pre-schools is saying he hates his sibling I wouldn't go into as great of detail explaining Jesus' love like she does. About half of each chapter is some story or situation that I skip through. I find them to be longwinded. But after that, what she has to say I find very good. This isn't the type of book you can sit down and read a few pages, put it down and pick it up a few days later. I don't read this book up unless I have time to complete a chapter. If you like lots of stories or analogies and great detail in explaining things then you will probably love this book. I'm just a more to the point, concise kind of person. Hence the reason I only gave it 3 starts.

This book was first for me, I've been in church my whole life, yet many of these concepts never sunk in until now. I love how hard concepts came to life in her examples.

I would love to invite these authors to become more Christian by getting to know a real "Mormon." As someone who believes in grace, I was shocked to read that "Mormonism" (which is actually an offensive nickname given to early members of the Church of Jesus Christ) is seen as a "work-based cult." What on earth?! Not only is that offensive, but it is also inaccurate. I wish everyone was welcome to read this book. If the introduction is this inaccurate...I can't even imagine how the rest of the book is. You don't have to put other religions down to elevate your own "Christlike" ways. How ridiculous. Don't buy this.

This book presented me with the idea of approaching my kids in love and understanding and why it will work better than my usual instant reaction. It was a step in the right direction, but I wasn't a fan of the detailed discussions they suggested for approaching certain problems with your kids. They seemed forced to me...or maybe it's just how I imagined my kids and I going about it. Didn't feel like me and I want my new approach to my kids to be heartfelt, not rote.

This book was thought provoking! It put the power of the cross into practical living! Because of His great love for us, we are able to love!

So thankful for a book that is not about teaching us how to parent, but teaching us how to rely on Christ. I'm learning so much about God's grace in my own life and how I've failed to see it. If I don't know God's grace, I can't give it to my kids.

Our children need the gospel. We need the gospel. This book helps both apply the good news! I was encouraged and challenged.

I am so happy I found this book. It has challenged me in several ways and made a tremendous difference in how I am dealing with my children.

It is the best book I have ever read that is truly Gospel-centered parenting.

Like most parenting books there are always a few areas that one does not agree with. Overall this book has been my spiritual food as I prepare for parenthood. Hope to come back to it as our baby grows into a child.

One of the best parenting books we have read. A fresh and encouraging perspective. A must read for Christian parents.

This book really made me evaluate why I parent the way I do. This is not a specific how-to guide but gets more to the heart issues.