Dealing with a Narcissist: Disarming and becoming the Narcissist's nightmare. Understanding Narcissism & Narcissistic personality disorder. Healing after hidden Psychological and emotional abuse

This book, like the Narcissistic Abuse one, seemed like a great starting point.. however it again reads like someone’s school paper turned into a book format. When I received it, I flipped through it and immediately noticed there were no references or sources listed about where the information came from.. which is alarming. I read one sentence about experts estimating that narcissists lie 80-90% of the time, and saw there was no reference to where this claim came from, and had to be done with the book. You can’t make claims about human behavior like that without providing the sources from which you got the information to back it up. People will believe just about anything they read and it’s important to make sure what they are being given to read is reputable and supported by legitimate evidence. Unfortunately this book is being returned at about half the cost of the book itself.

This book has a lot of information, but is coming from a very emotionally charged stance. Good for someone who is angry or upset about narcissism. Perhaps not ideal for someone objectively hoping to learn about narcissism and ways to handle a narcissistic individual.

Do not buy this book if you are mid-level to advanced in your knowledge of narcissistic personality disorder and the terms employed when discussing this disorder and the behaviour of its sufferers. I bought it because I wanted it to teach me in depth how to practice "the grey rock" method in dealing with people with narcissistic traits, NPD sufferers and other toxic individuals. This book does not employ proper terminology and basically just states that narcissists are bad ( over-simplification). One needs to learn everything there is available when dealing with someone who has NPD, just has narcissistic traits or is a toxic person. Do not buy this book.

I really like that this book starts off by introducing the concept of narcissism and what it actually is. There are a lot of misconceptions about narcissism out there. I think this book does a great job of teaching you to recognize narcissistic behaviors, manipulation, etc. This is a fascinating read and could be very helpful to anyone who has to deal with narcissists in their life.

If you have ever suffered the consequences of dealing with a narcissist, this book is an excellent tool that can help you see the red flags going forward, while also helping yourself to be more aware of when the situation arises. Though the book did lack references or sources to cite the information mentioned, I found it to be helpful and convincing for readers who have deal with the troubling situations that come with a narcissist. No one’s self esteem should suffer at the hands of another person and this book includes the information necessary to help start the recovery process.

This book has a wealth of information on how to handle narcissists. The author's main point is to not get sucked down to the narcissist's level. As the author notes the best course of action is to not engage, but that is not always possible. So, the book shows you how to handle various scenarios. For example, how to recognize when you are being gaslighted and to handle it by verifying everything the narcissist tells you. In general, I found the author's writing style easy to read and understand. I also found the info helpful and important.

Gives good advice on how to deal with a Narcissist in your life. Detailed descriptions are there to tell you what you should be looking for to spot a Narcissist and their behavior. Also informs you on what to do about it yourself. The steps you can take to combate a Narcissist behavior and or grip on you or someone you know.

It is easy to be deceived by a narcissist. They can be so charming and attractive! Once you a drawn in, it’s a struggle to maintain your sense of self and not be absorbed by the needs of this egocentric person. The relationship is unhealthy and the abuse can be subtle. Learn how to turn the tables and prevent the narcissist from having his way.

I recommend that everyone should read this book. It is very helpful if you have someone in your life who has a narcissistic personality. I wished I had purchased this book years ago. It would have prevented a lot of heartache. Anyone who has a narcissist in their life should read this book.

I thought this book had quite a few helpful suggestions. There also seemed to be some unsubstantiated claims and information offered as fact that was opinion. I have several narcissists in my family and have worked first as a mental health professional and then as a licensed psychologist for almost 40 years. I am convinced many narcissists truly believe that they are superior and don't loathe themselves. Certainly, there is a group of narcissists who have been taught from birth they are special for one reason or another and have erroneously internalized that belief.

This book, like the Narcissistic Abuse one, seemed like a great starting point.. however it again reads like someone’s school paper turned into a book format. When I received it, I flipped through it and immediately noticed there were no references or sources listed about where the information came from.. which is alarming. I read one sentence about experts estimating that narcissists lie 80-90% of the time, and saw there was no reference to where this claim came from, and had to be done with the book. You can’t make claims about human behavior like that without providing the sources from which you got the information to back it up. People will believe just about anything they read and it’s important to make sure what they are being given to read is reputable and supported by legitimate evidence. Unfortunately this book is being returned at about half the cost of the book itself.

This book has a lot of information, but is coming from a very emotionally charged stance. Good for someone who is angry or upset about narcissism. Perhaps not ideal for someone objectively hoping to learn about narcissism and ways to handle a narcissistic individual.

Do not buy this book if you are mid-level to advanced in your knowledge of narcissistic personality disorder and the terms employed when discussing this disorder and the behaviour of its sufferers. I bought it because I wanted it to teach me in depth how to practice "the grey rock" method in dealing with people with narcissistic traits, NPD sufferers and other toxic individuals. This book does not employ proper terminology and basically just states that narcissists are bad ( over-simplification). One needs to learn everything there is available when dealing with someone who has NPD, just has narcissistic traits or is a toxic person. Do not buy this book.

I really like that this book starts off by introducing the concept of narcissism and what it actually is. There are a lot of misconceptions about narcissism out there. I think this book does a great job of teaching you to recognize narcissistic behaviors, manipulation, etc. This is a fascinating read and could be very helpful to anyone who has to deal with narcissists in their life.

If you have ever suffered the consequences of dealing with a narcissist, this book is an excellent tool that can help you see the red flags going forward, while also helping yourself to be more aware of when the situation arises. Though the book did lack references or sources to cite the information mentioned, I found it to be helpful and convincing for readers who have deal with the troubling situations that come with a narcissist. No one’s self esteem should suffer at the hands of another person and this book includes the information necessary to help start the recovery process.

This book has a wealth of information on how to handle narcissists. The author's main point is to not get sucked down to the narcissist's level. As the author notes the best course of action is to not engage, but that is not always possible. So, the book shows you how to handle various scenarios. For example, how to recognize when you are being gaslighted and to handle it by verifying everything the narcissist tells you. In general, I found the author's writing style easy to read and understand. I also found the info helpful and important.

Gives good advice on how to deal with a Narcissist in your life. Detailed descriptions are there to tell you what you should be looking for to spot a Narcissist and their behavior. Also informs you on what to do about it yourself. The steps you can take to combate a Narcissist behavior and or grip on you or someone you know.

It is easy to be deceived by a narcissist. They can be so charming and attractive! Once you a drawn in, it’s a struggle to maintain your sense of self and not be absorbed by the needs of this egocentric person. The relationship is unhealthy and the abuse can be subtle. Learn how to turn the tables and prevent the narcissist from having his way.

I recommend that everyone should read this book. It is very helpful if you have someone in your life who has a narcissistic personality. I wished I had purchased this book years ago. It would have prevented a lot of heartache. Anyone who has a narcissist in their life should read this book.

I thought this book had quite a few helpful suggestions. There also seemed to be some unsubstantiated claims and information offered as fact that was opinion. I have several narcissists in my family and have worked first as a mental health professional and then as a licensed psychologist for almost 40 years. I am convinced many narcissists truly believe that they are superior and don't loathe themselves. Certainly, there is a group of narcissists who have been taught from birth they are special for one reason or another and have erroneously internalized that belief.

Dealing with narcissism often takes its toll. This is why if you know it is happening, you also need to not only understand it but know how to 'disarm' them and shock them. It is essentially taking their power that they have over you away from them so that you don't feel so belittled.

A good explanation of how a narcissistic behaves and how they manipulate. I like that author encourages you not to try to get even or one up the narcissist, not giving a reaction to their behavior is the best way to avoid additional conflict.

The book was okay. I was hoping for it to be more professional with cited sources for the information that the author stated, but nothing was cited. (Example, 80%-90% are liar...10 things ALL narcissistic will do in a relationship...estrangement.... the list goes on). It sounded like was written by a girl who's gone through a bad break-up with a crappy, selfish boyfriend. Many references to "he" instead of a more neutral reference to the narcissist as "they."

I really like this book because it broke down the different levels of narcissism. This is a well-researched book with helpful resources for anyone struggling with a narcissist in their lives.

This book has great content. The information can help you begin to heal after dealing with mental abuse. A great start for thise who need it.

This book will teach you how to disarm a narcissist. It teaches how to heal from the emotional abuse one puts you through.

Learn which type of narcissist you have in your life and how to best deal with them with the tips and tricks in this book.

AMAZING!!! Finished in one day, explained the type of narcissist I am dealing with and tips to make it through. HIGHLY recommend!!

I wanted information on how to heal after a narcissist relationship - there really wasn't any section for the healing as it stated on the front of the book. Also, the book is thinner than I thought.

This is a pretty quick read with simple suggestions that allowed me to confirm my suspicions about a narcissist I need to deal with in my life.

During coaching sessions, the same questions come up again and again. Is the narcissist happy with the new supply? Did the narcissist ever love me or care for me? Will the narcissist hoover me? Why isn't the narcissist hoovering me? I went back to the narcissist after a hoover and now they’ve left me again — how could I let this happen? How do I get the narcissist back and get them to stay forever? Heartbreaking questions. The trauma bond is so severe that these people need reassurance and validation from their abuser. So I will answer one of the above questions. Is the narcissist happy with the new supply (new friend, romantic partner, etc.)? At first, yes. When are they the happiest? During the lovebomb stage. When are they the most ecstatic? When they’re love-bombing the new target AND devaluing and discarding the former target at the same time. If the new supply is making them feel good with praise and compliments and the former supply is desperately trying to get their attention with multiple texts and calls — that’s like Christmas, Valentine’s Day and the 4th of July all at once. Does this euphoric state last? No. The new supply gets boring and predictable after a while. They will also demand things the narcissist cannot give. What’s worse? The old supply has likely moved on. Time to head for the revolving door, and a whole new devalue, discard, hoover and grooming of a new or recycled supply will begin. This goes on and on for the rest of the narcissist’s life. DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST will teach you how to handle narcs in places where you have no choice but to put up with them — like at work, or if you’re co-parenting, or if you have a narcissist in your family — but it will also help those with deep trauma bonds. The moment I learned what NPD was, what sets Cluster B personalities apart, and how they all rank in the DSM-5, I knew I wanted nothing to do with narcissists and other Cluster B people. Experience is key in this situation. It’s easy to spot a narcissist when you know what they’re like, and — if you have no choice but to deal with them — you’ll know more or less what to expect. This book covers the basics, but the most important ones are these: Are they testing the waters? When you first start to interact, does the person bring up an ex or current flame a lot? Do they try to get a reaction out of you? Do they say mean things and then backtrack by saying that they were kidding? Do they do this often? They're testing you. They want to make sure you're pliable for abuse, and they want to gauge your overall temperament. The more sensitive you are, the better target you'll be. Now that you know this, you'll have to deal with them. You must do the following... Don’t react. Narcissists love to provoke people. They’d walk up to you, call or text you, and they’ll be nice to you at first, but then they’ll say something so soul-crushing and mean-spirited it’ll make your head spin. They’ll do it covertly or overtly, but if they want to clutch their pearls and play the victim after they get the desired reaction from you (anger, sadness, insecurity, etc.), they’ll do it covertly. What do you do? Don’t react. I know it’s hard, but once you know what they’re like, showing no emotion will get easier with time. Grey Rock them, or better yet, be witty and happy. Once they see that they cannot push your buttons, they’ll move on to an easier target. Expect the unexpected. These so-called friends, loving relatives and lovers will backstab you, cheat on you, have double or triple or even quadruple lives at the same time. Many of them have secret sexual partners, illegitimate children and other shady activities. You don't know these people because they wear a perpetual mask. Look out for mask slips though. Narcissists often tell on themselves. These traits are more common with covert narcissists or “narcopaths.” Cut ties. Don’t give them the opportunity to come back. Don’t let them send their flying monkeys to extract information from you, and don’t look at their social media. They’ll try to provoke reactions from you that way. This is known as “dog whistling,” and it’s more common with covert and malignant narcs. They'll either post subliminal messages designed to upset you, post "happy photos," or do the deactivate and reactivate/catfish your name/block and unblock/remove the "Add Friend" option/all of the above games. They'll get you to act the same way. Enough is enough. Think of their shady social media activities as time-wasting tomfoolery. You're missing out on nothing. Break trauma bonds. Why on earth would anyone want to go back to a narcissist? If you know what they are and what they’re capable of, why would you long for someone like that? They are abusive. Always have been, always will be. You can’t change a narcissist. You can’t expect someone to behave in a way that’s unnatural to them. They are INCAPABLE of love and empathy, and no amount of patience, caring and loving words will change that. On the contrary, they will lose all respect for you, and they will devalue and discard you for as long as you let them. Do not let them! It’s all about them. It doesn’t matter how “nice” or “generous” they say they are or appear to be. They could sing Kumbaya all day, everyday for the rest of their lives — it’s always about them. They crave and seek attention, praise, accolades, a “fan club” of followers for one purpose and one alone: to gain fuel or “supply.” They’re natural-born pretenders, wolves in sheep’s clothing. This is more common with covert narcissists. Pay attention to what they say and do. More important, pay attention to how the narc treats YOU. A beacon of hope to society who also ghosts, does the silent treatment, and tells you they don’t care when you’re in pain? Do you see the contradiction? No accountability. They never accept personal responsibility for anything. Instead you’ll apologize to THEM for the most absurd things. Do they forgive you? Of course not. Their punishment never fits the crime. If they can somehow project their bad deeds on to you — and toss some word salad when you try to reason with them — then all the better. They’ll play the victim in every situation. The perpetual wounded puppy, the kind that enablers and co-dependents love. Never expect an apology from them. They might apologize if they’re desperate for supply, or if they sense that you’re getting tired of their crap, but it’s an empty apology, hoping you won’t bring up their awful behavior again. (Ideally, they’d prefer it if you never brought up their bad deeds. That’s why they gaslight you.) Narcissists are maladaptive. To reiterate, narcs don’t change. It would take decades worth of Cognitive Therapy and Spiritual Guidance to see some improvements. Meaning? Only a lobotomy could change a malignant narc. Don’t fall for the “I’m getting help” line. It’s meaningless. You’ll find invaluable information in this book. Researching Cluster B personalities has changed my life in more ways than one. Was it worth enduring needless mind games and emotional abuse to gain this knowledge? Yes. These people exist, and it’s best to live through it to get to the next level in your life and thrive. Now I know what to look for and how to avoid it. Great book! Four out of five Salted Caramel lattes (my favorite!).

I really liked the descriptions of narcissistic behavior and how such behavior is created. Powerful tool for learning how to effectively and safely deal with a narcissist.

Easy to follow, explanation very clear and to the point. I need to get away from this relationship. Thank you!

Learning about the narcissistic relationship that I have been in and this book really helped identify signs and ways to survive getting divorced.

My psychologist recommended that I read this for help to better understand the narsassitic personalities thought process. It's so insightful and I highly recommend it to anyone dealing with a narsassitic person in their life.

Excellent description of Narcissistic behavior, means of identifying & coping with this behavior. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that has questions about narcissistic behaviors.

It's essentially for learn how a narcissist think and how to avoid them. I really appreciate the lecture because I didn't know about the narcissist believes and I want to get rid of a toxic "friend".