Black Enough Man Enough: Embracing My Mixed Race and Sexual Fluidity

Kindle Edition
349
English
N/A
N/A
06 Jul
Gee Smalls
I knew I was different, called ‘faggot-ass half-breed,’ teased for my light bright skin, soft curly afro, freckly face, and feminine ways. Growing up the child of a Black daddy and white momma in the Gullah Geechee culture on James Island, South Carolina in the 80’s, I was an outsider.

My adolescent identity crisis of racial and sexual confusion lead to a trip down the aisle with my high school sweetheart, the joy of fatherhood, and then into the shadows of the down-low before divorce and a tumultuous custody battle. As I embraced all of who I am, I developed my voice, using it to speak out on the racial and LGBT equality movements, as well as to say ‘I do’ to marry the man I love and create a realistic 21st century blended family.

Reviews (31)

Very Powerful Book,......

I really enjoyed the book as it was easy to read and it had a powerful message about Same Gender Loving (SGL) men who are multifaceted and complex in all areas of life. Yet we are also a part of the universe as Mr. Smalls emphasis in his autobiography. The relationship that he has with his son and his husband was honest and revealed the strength that binds families because of the love that makes their lives, their positive and transparent message of perseverance and resilience that makes this book so honest and worth reading. Live-N-Let-Live 2020

Fantastic Must Read!

I found this book to be very interesting! I happen to find out about Juan and Gee from YouTube. I have to admit it was my attraction to two very fine looking men that lead me to watching every video that you ever posted! I was intrigued and couldn't get enough on learning more about your lives together! Your topics were always interesting even though I am a single white women with a bi-racial son. I could still relate to a lot of what you both had to say during your Love Works episodes. I thought it was great that you both were always so open and honest with things and your passion to help others in the gay community in what they experience in being gay and having relationships and teaching how to love yourself in order to love others fully. You also tell a wonderful story of your struggles with accepting your sexuality growing up and all that involves yet still being able to raise a child and co parent and what that looks like with being gay and how some people think it is wrong to raise a child in a envirement that is often not accepted in society but you prove it can be done in a very open not judgmental kind of way and things can and often do work out just fine! Not to say there are no struggles or hurdles to deal with as one can hear from your story. I can go on and on about this book because there are so many very good topics and things one can learn from you both. You are truly inspiring in everything that you have done and continue to do! I am from Charleston, not originally so to hear you tell stories about to also was very interesting to me. Love the added pictures through out the book although I have to say I got a shock with one of them, Lol, I'm sure you can figure that one out! Anyway Love y'all! Hope one day you will release another book maybe and look forward to maybe seeing you both more on YouTube. Pick this book up you won't regret getting it!

So moving, so emotional, so real

This book was written by my cousin's son and I purchased it on my kindle to support him and to learn more about his life. As I read his life story, I feel emotions that bring me back to my own childhood. My Mother died when I was 8 and my childhood stopped. Gee's childhood stopped due to fate by virtue of his family dynamics and in the fact of his biraciality. People are not always kind to biracial children nor to any child deemed different. I find myself wishing I could g to the young Gee, hold and comfort him, try to ease his many fears, while I fight his battles. This book took courage to write and I hope that courage keeps Gee going strong. His Dad is deceased but I know he would be proud of the man Gee is...I'm proud of him even though I have not seen him since childhood. This book will bring you to your inner self and force you to see the person you truly are. Thank you for this book cousin Gee Smalls.

INSPIRING, REFLECTIVE and TIMELY!!!

"Well, he says you have to finish the book. This book is not about you. It is not personal. This book is about freeing other people so that they don't have to go through the same struggles you went through. lt is going to open the hearts and minds of so many people." -Virgil to Gee via Lakara This quote from the book sums up precisely what this book has done for me. I have known Juan and Gee personally and professionally for about ten years now as they were one of the first couples my husband and I wanted in our newly formed group of local SGL couples. Obviously, we had that in common but this book revealed so many more similarities with them as a couple and as individuals. It was like I was reading a book about me. It also inspires me to be more introspective and think about my own issues I had not thought about in years. I told Gee about the similarities and he said I should write a book and I quickly replied "Nope, that’s why we have you in our lives lol That takes way too much self awareness, patience and introspection" so I thank you for this book sir!

The BEST book/autobiography I’ve read! HANDS DOWN!

Warning: This book is CAPTIVATING! It’s raw. It’s authentic. It’s transparent. It’s REAL! Starting at the foreword written by his husband Juan and all the way to the acknowledgements. I hardly ever read acknowledgements at the end of books, but this book was so good, I didn’t want it to end. Gee has a way of storytelling that makes you feel like you’re right there the entire time everything he talks about happened. I visualized the entire book as i was reading it as if I was there. He was so vulnerable and transparent throughout the entire book. With that, it allowed me to feel so connected and relatable with his stories. Being gay, raised in south, afraid to come out, and trying to find myself through it all. Seeing how he overcame what everyone else would think and became more self-aware and focused on what he wanted out of life. I loved the entire book. I finished reading this book in one day. I couldn’t put it down. The things he’s went through really helped with things I’ve been through and some currently still going through. You NEED to read this book. 10/10. I highly recommend. Thank you Gee for being so transparent and vulnerable with your readers. You’re going to help thousands and thousands with this book! It definitely helped and inspired me.

The most honest book I’ve read this year

I devoured this book and wish it hadn’t ended. I highly recommend it even if you think it’s not for you...or maybe especially if you think it’s not for you. There are so many great stories and lessons, and who can resist an honest look into someone else’s reality. Gee has a conversational tone to his storytelling that makes you feel like you’re sitting next to him listening to him talking.

Powerful

An extremely powerful story of a man born to a white mother and a black father in Charleston SC, from his early days he experience lesson that help him grow into the extraordinary man. Through the up’s and downs of his life prepared him for a life of humility, he embraced his mixed race and fluid sexuality and found that he is not only black enough Gee Smalls is man enough to tackle the world. People saw in him only a reflection of their preconceived ideas of what he was, denied his individuality, and ultimately did not see him at all. His experiences will definitely lead you to true healing “Black Enough Man” is an in-depth look into soul of Gee Smalls life it is intense and powerful.

GET THIS BOOK!

So I read this book in about a weeks time. It was a page turner. This was a really very well written book. It was honest, relatable, and inspiring. It was truly about so much more than just sexual orientation and racial identity development. It's about walking and moving on your life path. Challenging yourself to grow and be different in a bold way. Challenging those around you to do the same. I could go on and on. I pulled a lot from it and honestly anyone could learn from this. You can't read this and not be self reflective about your life choices. GET THIS BOOK!!!

Kudos 👏🏾

Kudos. 👏🏾 Thank you Gee, for laying it all out there. You explored sexuality, race, relationships, community, family, parenthood, business, therapy & so much more in a way that truly felt authentic. Some of your experiences made me reflect on some of my own, how i handled them & how they influenced the person i became. Others were foreign to me, but i still found them valuable in learning how you became the person you are. I appreciate the transparency, the vulnerability, the honest & the rawness of the entire work. Thanks for sharing it with us.

WOW. WOW. WOW.

This book took me on a journey I wasn’t expecting. A very raw story filled with pain, passion and victory oooh and some sex! I can’t think of the last book I read cover to cover this fast. It’s like you get sucked in and can’t put it down. This book has been to the doctors office, on an airplane, to the beach and the mechanics. Anywhere I thought I’d have time to read a bit more, the book traveled. The writing allows you to place yourself in the story and relate to the experiences. I often found myself reliving many of the same situations. Reliving reveals old wounds while simultaneously empowering you to get the help and face them head on! This book is a healing aid. As the book came to an end I found myself at the blank pages in the back yearning for more. Thank you Gee for sharing your story of pain, fatherhood, stereotypes, love and becoming who you are. You my GBF are Enough!

Very Powerful Book,......

I really enjoyed the book as it was easy to read and it had a powerful message about Same Gender Loving (SGL) men who are multifaceted and complex in all areas of life. Yet we are also a part of the universe as Mr. Smalls emphasis in his autobiography. The relationship that he has with his son and his husband was honest and revealed the strength that binds families because of the love that makes their lives, their positive and transparent message of perseverance and resilience that makes this book so honest and worth reading. Live-N-Let-Live 2020

Fantastic Must Read!

I found this book to be very interesting! I happen to find out about Juan and Gee from YouTube. I have to admit it was my attraction to two very fine looking men that lead me to watching every video that you ever posted! I was intrigued and couldn't get enough on learning more about your lives together! Your topics were always interesting even though I am a single white women with a bi-racial son. I could still relate to a lot of what you both had to say during your Love Works episodes. I thought it was great that you both were always so open and honest with things and your passion to help others in the gay community in what they experience in being gay and having relationships and teaching how to love yourself in order to love others fully. You also tell a wonderful story of your struggles with accepting your sexuality growing up and all that involves yet still being able to raise a child and co parent and what that looks like with being gay and how some people think it is wrong to raise a child in a envirement that is often not accepted in society but you prove it can be done in a very open not judgmental kind of way and things can and often do work out just fine! Not to say there are no struggles or hurdles to deal with as one can hear from your story. I can go on and on about this book because there are so many very good topics and things one can learn from you both. You are truly inspiring in everything that you have done and continue to do! I am from Charleston, not originally so to hear you tell stories about to also was very interesting to me. Love the added pictures through out the book although I have to say I got a shock with one of them, Lol, I'm sure you can figure that one out! Anyway Love y'all! Hope one day you will release another book maybe and look forward to maybe seeing you both more on YouTube. Pick this book up you won't regret getting it!

So moving, so emotional, so real

This book was written by my cousin's son and I purchased it on my kindle to support him and to learn more about his life. As I read his life story, I feel emotions that bring me back to my own childhood. My Mother died when I was 8 and my childhood stopped. Gee's childhood stopped due to fate by virtue of his family dynamics and in the fact of his biraciality. People are not always kind to biracial children nor to any child deemed different. I find myself wishing I could g to the young Gee, hold and comfort him, try to ease his many fears, while I fight his battles. This book took courage to write and I hope that courage keeps Gee going strong. His Dad is deceased but I know he would be proud of the man Gee is...I'm proud of him even though I have not seen him since childhood. This book will bring you to your inner self and force you to see the person you truly are. Thank you for this book cousin Gee Smalls.

INSPIRING, REFLECTIVE and TIMELY!!!

"Well, he says you have to finish the book. This book is not about you. It is not personal. This book is about freeing other people so that they don't have to go through the same struggles you went through. lt is going to open the hearts and minds of so many people." -Virgil to Gee via Lakara This quote from the book sums up precisely what this book has done for me. I have known Juan and Gee personally and professionally for about ten years now as they were one of the first couples my husband and I wanted in our newly formed group of local SGL couples. Obviously, we had that in common but this book revealed so many more similarities with them as a couple and as individuals. It was like I was reading a book about me. It also inspires me to be more introspective and think about my own issues I had not thought about in years. I told Gee about the similarities and he said I should write a book and I quickly replied "Nope, that’s why we have you in our lives lol That takes way too much self awareness, patience and introspection" so I thank you for this book sir!

The BEST book/autobiography I’ve read! HANDS DOWN!

Warning: This book is CAPTIVATING! It’s raw. It’s authentic. It’s transparent. It’s REAL! Starting at the foreword written by his husband Juan and all the way to the acknowledgements. I hardly ever read acknowledgements at the end of books, but this book was so good, I didn’t want it to end. Gee has a way of storytelling that makes you feel like you’re right there the entire time everything he talks about happened. I visualized the entire book as i was reading it as if I was there. He was so vulnerable and transparent throughout the entire book. With that, it allowed me to feel so connected and relatable with his stories. Being gay, raised in south, afraid to come out, and trying to find myself through it all. Seeing how he overcame what everyone else would think and became more self-aware and focused on what he wanted out of life. I loved the entire book. I finished reading this book in one day. I couldn’t put it down. The things he’s went through really helped with things I’ve been through and some currently still going through. You NEED to read this book. 10/10. I highly recommend. Thank you Gee for being so transparent and vulnerable with your readers. You’re going to help thousands and thousands with this book! It definitely helped and inspired me.

The most honest book I’ve read this year

I devoured this book and wish it hadn’t ended. I highly recommend it even if you think it’s not for you...or maybe especially if you think it’s not for you. There are so many great stories and lessons, and who can resist an honest look into someone else’s reality. Gee has a conversational tone to his storytelling that makes you feel like you’re sitting next to him listening to him talking.

Powerful

An extremely powerful story of a man born to a white mother and a black father in Charleston SC, from his early days he experience lesson that help him grow into the extraordinary man. Through the up’s and downs of his life prepared him for a life of humility, he embraced his mixed race and fluid sexuality and found that he is not only black enough Gee Smalls is man enough to tackle the world. People saw in him only a reflection of their preconceived ideas of what he was, denied his individuality, and ultimately did not see him at all. His experiences will definitely lead you to true healing “Black Enough Man” is an in-depth look into soul of Gee Smalls life it is intense and powerful.

GET THIS BOOK!

So I read this book in about a weeks time. It was a page turner. This was a really very well written book. It was honest, relatable, and inspiring. It was truly about so much more than just sexual orientation and racial identity development. It's about walking and moving on your life path. Challenging yourself to grow and be different in a bold way. Challenging those around you to do the same. I could go on and on. I pulled a lot from it and honestly anyone could learn from this. You can't read this and not be self reflective about your life choices. GET THIS BOOK!!!

Kudos 👏🏾

Kudos. 👏🏾 Thank you Gee, for laying it all out there. You explored sexuality, race, relationships, community, family, parenthood, business, therapy & so much more in a way that truly felt authentic. Some of your experiences made me reflect on some of my own, how i handled them & how they influenced the person i became. Others were foreign to me, but i still found them valuable in learning how you became the person you are. I appreciate the transparency, the vulnerability, the honest & the rawness of the entire work. Thanks for sharing it with us.

WOW. WOW. WOW.

This book took me on a journey I wasn’t expecting. A very raw story filled with pain, passion and victory oooh and some sex! I can’t think of the last book I read cover to cover this fast. It’s like you get sucked in and can’t put it down. This book has been to the doctors office, on an airplane, to the beach and the mechanics. Anywhere I thought I’d have time to read a bit more, the book traveled. The writing allows you to place yourself in the story and relate to the experiences. I often found myself reliving many of the same situations. Reliving reveals old wounds while simultaneously empowering you to get the help and face them head on! This book is a healing aid. As the book came to an end I found myself at the blank pages in the back yearning for more. Thank you Gee for sharing your story of pain, fatherhood, stereotypes, love and becoming who you are. You my GBF are Enough!

A deep dive into a wold so familiar to many of us yet so hidden before our open eyes!

After reading the reviews, I wanted to share what hasn't been said (audacious right?). TBH, I couldn't put it down. It explored facets of life that I have encountered and caused me to self reflect even though I may not have been prepared for this. It made me feel free with each word as he searched for himself and eventually found the voice he was looking for. This book was well written and one can tell it came from a place of truth, vulnerability and healing something the world could use today. After finishing I felt a sense of relief and joy like no other. Highly recommended for fathers, sons, mothers, daughters or anyone who has experienced love on any level. I tear up writing this because I know love is real,it's true and it doesn't always come the way you want it to or show up the way you expected it. This book is full of love, light, fear, hope and optimism. Please read.

Uplifting, Inspiring Read

Thank you Gee for sharing your story with us. It is uplifting and inspiring. Truly, your words encourage us all to tell our own stories and to live an authentic life however we come to it. I'm enjoying the read and have purchased additional copies for friends. GREAT JOB! AWESOME READ!

A Page Turning Guidebook of Realness Personified!

I can honestly say that I am not moved by much but when I tell you that I felt this from the bottom of my heart. This book was like watching a movie that evoked every emotion - from laughter to crying and anger to happiness - I found this book so relatable to my own life’s story. Your father was right; this book was to set others free as well and my brother, the chains and shackles are gone! Thank you! Please write more!!!

You Can’t Get To This Soon Enough. Start Reading It NOW!

Stop what you’re doing and order this book right now! If you’ve ever struggled to fit in or find your place in life, this book is for you. Smalls’ worlds intersect in spaces that are not only uncomfortable but painful as well. Racial identity. Sexual identity. Child custody. Baby mama drama. The power of therapy. You name it...there’s a place on this book that that will call the issue what it is and demonstrate possible ways to heal. Vulnerability is might... and for Smalls it’s his superpower. I guarantee you’ll relate to some aspect of his vast story.

Simply Amazing

This is a book for anyone on a path of self discovery. I learned a lot from the childhood trauma and the journey of healing and forgiveness. It empowered me to continue on my personal journey of self discovery and embracing my unique individual self. To not conform to what the social norm/tradition deems acceptable. Beautifully written. Highly recommend

Relatable. Transparent. Thought provoking.

Finished this book in its entirety, and WHEW!!!! To say it was amazing is an understatement! It’s extremely relatable and I experienced every emotion while reading it. I mean seriously I laughed, cried and even felt anger as I remembered my own struggles in life. I’ve had similar childhood moments, and to read I was not alone was a great feeling of relief. The transparency and honesty was astonishing! I believe everyone can benefit from reading this memoir. Get your copy today, you will not be disappointed!

This book is a game changer no matter who or what lifestyle you subscribe to!

I have not read a book since i was in my early teens and had trouble staying interested in books since. This book had me from the first page to the last. The author bares it all in such a way that his journey sparks revelations about yourself as you read. This book make you feel seen, understood, and leaves you with a greater understanding of life in general. It has given me permission to pursue the freedom I have so deeply yearned for but was so afraid to go after.

Wow!! Amazing!!

Wow!! Gee your book has changed me!! How could it not? It's made me look at love differently but in a good way. I think you are BRAVE to open up yourself to the world like this! Your book is raw and so real. It gave me goosebumps and made me laugh out loud at times. Proud of you!!

Compelling!

This book was an awesome read. Thanks for sharing your life's journey. Good, bad, indifferent we are all the better for it. I highly recommend this book.

Phenomenal read, highly recommend everyone to read this because it gives a powerful message

I heard many reviews of this book and decided to give it a try. After reading the first few chapters, I couldn't put it down. Gee illustrates the complexities and struggles of what it's like being biracial and gave many examples of his experience. It’s raw, authentic, transparent, and real. I highly recommend this book to everyone!

Necessary read!

I purchased two of these books one for me and my partner. This story was a cathartic experience for me. There are so few stories of the LGBTQIA+ experience. We need more stories of our own! I am beyond grateful it came to me at the time it did. Must read.

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